You’ve all surely heard of the Darwin Awards, where some people remove themselves from the gene pool for the benefit of mankind by taunting natural selection:
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors.
This fellow, one Mike Hughes of California, who bills himself as:
The Only Man in History to Design, Build, and Launch Himself in a Rocket
Mike thinks the Earth is flat, and NOAA, NASA, and everybody else is wrong on that fact. So, to prove it, he’s made a rocket to go to the edge of space to prove it to himself.
A story in the Washington Post says:
Hughes is a 61-year-old limo driver who’s spent the last few years building a steam-powered rocket out of salvage parts in his garage. His project has cost him $20,000, which includes Rust-Oleum paint to fancy it up and a motor home he bought on Craigslist that he converted into a ramp.
Besides the fact that limo drivers aren’t generally rocket scientists, there’s only one major problem; he’s used a similar design for his “steam powered rocket” as the infamous Evel Knievel, who tried and failed to launch a similar contraption over the Snake River Canyon back in September 1974. Stuntman Eddie Braun did successfully zoom over the canyon — using Knievel’s original blueprints — in September 2016.
In a story by BGR, we get a clearer picture:
Mike Hughes, who has made it known that he doesn’t “believe in science,” has built a steam-powered rocket which he intends to ride into the sky. His aim doesn’t seem to be to put the flat earth debate to rest — at the altitude he’ll be reaching, he wouldn’t be able to see much of a curve, and even if he did it’s not like he’d admit it — but rather to promote a flat earth group that is helping to sponsor his flight.
If you’ve ever debated a flat earther online — and if you haven’t, I probably wouldn’t advise it, because logic and reason are completely lost on them — you’ll usually reach a point where one of you says “If we could travel to space you’d see the truth.” The rocket Hughes plans to ride skyward isn’t capable of such a feat, but it’s better than nothing. As for the potential dangers of the flight, he’s well aware of the risks.
“If you’re not scared to death, you’re an idiot,” Hughes explained. “It’s scary as hell, but none of us are getting out of this world alive.” While that may be true, taking your life into your own hands with a steam-powered rocket still requires a mix of guts and stupidity.
Umm, yeah. Looks like steamflunk.
Our friend, Dr. Roy Spencer, recently said on Facebook post that he’d like to nominate Hughes for a Darwin award “pre-humously”.
I second that motion.
Saturday, Nov 25th, while people are watching football and eating turkey leftovers, hughes plans a Pay Per View coverage of his Darwin Award event launch. In my view, he’s just another stuntman with a crazy idea to make fame and money.
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Actually one can map the surface of a sphere onto a plane or flat surface. The pole stands at centre, the equator makes a circle centred at the pole and the opposite pole lies on a circle infinitely far away. The mechanics of motion is very queer however from this perspective, but can be similarly mapped. Areas on this plane have a very different interpretaion too.
Only in America.
Similarly with that full-size Ark-replica in Tennessee.
Hmmm…I wonder if it’s possible to cross check the membership of the Flat Earth Society with the membership of the Union of Concerned Scientist?
Opps….
Mr. Hughes is 60 years behind the times with his theories, it’s old hat, all been thoroughly investigated before! Back in 1957 the forward thinking aficionados of the BBC Goon Show knew pretty much all there was to know about steam powered rocketry and flat earth denial. Permit me to quote from their learned discourse:
“Seagoon:
Ahem. That music was intended to give you a mental picture of the change in plan.
Milligan:
Yes.
Seagoon:
Thank you. With the shortage… With the shortage of petrol, the invention of the aeroplane had to be delayed.
Milligan:
Yes.
Seagoon:
Thank you. But still the burning question was to get guns to the garrison at Fort Spon.
Milligan:
Yes.
Crun:
As luck would have it, gentlemen, I’ve got here the plans of a steam-driven rocket.
Milligan:
Yes.
Seagoon:
And goodbye Gladys Young. That would overcome the petrol shortage. We’ll build one right away!
Moriarty:
Ah, I suppose this means the end of the horse-drawn Zeppelin.
Grytpype-Thynne:
Oh well, Moriarty. Et sequitor ad nausium, spon.
Moriarty:
Ow! You got to go…
Moriarty and Grytpype:
Oooww!
Ellington:
Oh, Moriarty. Now stop plugging your record and remain silent while I plug one of mine, do you mind?
Bannister:
[over Ray] Play it buddy!
Ray Ellington Quartet:
[Musical interlude]
FX:
[gunshots]
Greenslade:
Ladies and gentlemen, that sound was specially recorded to give you a mental picture of the records they’re playing at the besieged garrison of Fort Spon.
Seagoon:
Never mind, folks. If you were in this BBC studio you’d see, apart from the tatty curtains, bare floorboards, and outdated guilt scrollwork (specially commissioned by the corporation), a large steam driven rocket.
Milligan:
[off] Oohho!
Seagoon:
Ahoi-hoi-hoi-ohho! Now gather round, early British aviators!
Omnes:
[moans]
Seagoon:
[over] Early British rhubarb. Early British rhubarb. Rhubarb, rhubarb. Rhubarb rhubarb! R-r-rhubarb! And, custard.
Intellectual:
Pardon me, I’m from the er, Geographical Society.
Seagoon:
[off, barely audible] I’m from the rhubarb!
Intellectual:
May I come along to your flight, so that I can photograph the Earth from a great height?
Seagoon:
Whatever for?
Intellectual:
Because, sir!… There are some stupid fools who are still arguing whether the Earth is round or flat.
Seagoon:
And so?
Intellectual:
I’m going to prove to them that it is flat.
Seagoon:
Prove the Earth is flat? Hahaha! What a waste of time!
Intellectual:
Why why, why?
Seagoon:
Everybody knows it’s flat!
Intellectual:
Aha ha ha ha har.
Seagoon:
Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haa!
Intellectual:
Aha ha ha har!
Seagoon:
Aha ha ha!
Intellectual:
But there are idiots in this world, you know.
Seagoon:
Have you met them?
Intellectual:
Met them? I listen to you every week!
FX:
[fanfare]
Milligan:
Folks! That chord was to give you a mental picture of a steam driven rocket about to take off – what a thrill for you all.
FX:
[clink clink clink clunk clunk clink (hammering)]
Eccles:
[over, sings] [garbled] some broccoli, land on my dream! I travel the road in broccoli. I travel…
Seagoon:
Here, Eccles!
Eccles:
What what?
Seagoon:
Let me help you with that flange.
FX:
[fast hammering]
Seagoon:
There! That’s got it off!
Eccles:
I was trying to get it on! I tried to get it on!
Crun:
Gentlemen, I’ve been driven here from Ryegate to say this line… Um-gad! Erm, erm er… The rocket is… ready. Horayoo-oow!
Spriggs:
He’s gone in the direction of down! Now out, about this rocket gentlemen. Now, who knows how to drive it?
Seagoon:
Drive it? Good heavens! You’re not going to let a little thing like that stop us?
Bloodnok:
Of course not! We can decide who’s to drive when we’re up there.
Seagoon:
Yes. We’ll draw lots.
Eccles:
I can’t draw lots! I don’t even know what shape they are!
Seagoon:
Shut up, Eccles!
Eccles:
Shut up, Eccles!
Seagoon:
Shut up…
Omnes:
Shut up, Eccles!
Seagoon:
Shut up, Eccles!
Moriarty:
Ahh, gentlemen, one thing. One thing, gentlemen. May I take an Arab stallion on board with us?
Bloodnok:
You filthy swine!
Moriarty:
What?
Bloodnok:
What ever for?
Moriarty:
What ever for? To prove that the horse still has it’s place in air travel! Especially if it pulls a Zeppelin!
Bloodnok:
Yes, and I’m taking an elephant!
Seagoon:
Are you mad?
Moriarty:
[over] Are you mad?
Bloodnok:
Of course I am! You don’t get normal people taking elephants on rockets, do you?
Seagoon:
Well, he’ll have to travel third class.
Bloodnok:
If you wish.
Seagoon:
How old is the elephant?
Bloodnok:
Why do you want to know? Tell me, tell me before I strike you down! Why?
Seagoon:
Well, if the elephant’s under fourteen, he’d travel at half fare.
Bloodnok:
Oh.
FX:
[telephone receiver picked up, dialled]
Bloodnok:
Hello, just a moment. You speak to the lady, would you?
Seagoon:
Hello? Ah, can you tell we how old this elephant is?
Female:
Yes, he’s six an’ half.
Seagoon:
Are you sure?
Female:
I should hope so, I’m his mother.
FX:
[telephone receiver put down]
Seagoon:
That was a trunk call. Now…
Milligan:
I don’t wish to know that.
Seagoon:
Kindly leave the theatre.
Milligan:
I say look here.
Seagoon:
Now then, who’s going to be at the controls when we take off?
Eccles:
Um, well, which way are we going?
Seagoon:
Up!
Eccles:
Oh, I’ll drive, I know that way.
Seagoon:
Stout fella!
Eccles:
Me, a stout fella? You’d make two of me!
Seagoon:
I’ll make two of you! Give me that axe!
Eccles:
What? Get away!
FX:
[phone ringing, receiver being picked up]
Seagoon:
Yes? Right.
FX:
[receiver being replaced]
Seagoon:
Gentlemen?
Eccles:
Yup?
Seagoon:
The garrison at Fort Spon are desperate!
Eccles:
Oh hohoho!
Seagoon:
Ah hahahahaha!
Eccles:
Hahehehe!
Seagoon:
Ahahahum!
Eccles:
Yup.
Seagoon:
We must take off at once! Rifles on board?
Bloodnok:
Yes.
Seagoon:
Right. Close plinge doors.
Eccles:
Plinge doors closed.
Bloodnok:
[over] Close plinge doors!
Seagoon:
[garbled]! Secure ports.
Eccles:
[over] Secure ports.
Seagoon:
Close all berks!
Milligan:
Close all berks.
Bloodnok:
[garbled]
Seagoon:
Bluebottle, tighten your belt.
Throat:
[burp]
Bluebottle:
Why captain?
Seagoon:
Your trousers are falling down.
Seagoon:
Full steam! Maximum power!
Milligan:
Maxum power.
Seagoon:
[garbled]
Milligan:
[garbled as above]
Seagoon:
Right!
Milligan:
[garbled]
Seagoon:
Cut the string!
FX:
[recording of a train whistle, followed by a train leaving a station, slowly being sped up]
Seagoon:
Men! Put on your pressurised shin pads and switch on oxygen. I’m going to accelerate to thirty miles an hour!
Bloodnok:
Don’t be a fool, Seagoon. No man can live at that speed!
Seagoon:
To devil with it Bludders, I’ve always lived dangerously. Hang on!
FX:
[train leaving station, slowly being sped up (as before)]
Spriggs:
Oh steady! Steady you demon of the speed! Beware! Observe: the wallpaper’s already coming away from Bluebottle’s hat!
Intellectual:
Er, could you slow down just a bit here, I want to take that photograph of the Earth.
Eccles:
Oh here. I just saw the Earth through the clouds.
Intellectual:
Did it look round?
Eccles:
Yeah, but I don’t think it saw me.
Seagoon:
You’re right, Eccles! And look! There’s the besieged Fort Spon, directly beneath us. Quick! Parachute the rifles down to them.
Bloodnok:
Rifles away!
Seagoon:
They’ve got them!
Moriarty:
They’re loading them!
Bloodnok:
They’ve fired!
Seagoon:
The enemy are all dead! Success!
Moriarty:
Curse! This is the end of the horse-drawn Zeppelin!
Greenslade:
And it’s also the end of the horse-drawn Goon Show. Goodnight!
Moriarty:
Goodnight!
FX:
[closing music]
Milligan:
[over] [garbled]
Greenslade:
That was the Goon Show, a BBC recorded program featuring Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, and Spike Milligan. With George Chisholm, The Ray Ellington Quartet, Max Geldray, and the orchestra conducted by Wally Stott. Script by Spike Milligan and Larry Stevens. Announcer Wallace Greenslade. The program produced by Pat Dixon.”
Taken from the Goon Show of January 10, 1957. Indeed they were men before their time.
http://www.thegoonshow.net/scripts_show.asp?title=s07e15_wings_over_dagenham
Can’t help thinking he’s smarter than many give him credit for. As reported on an article on him on Gizmodo: “he’s only recently become a Flat Earth convert “after struggling for months to raise funds”. Sounds like he simply found himself a crowd of loonies to fund his fun project.
Sadly the article also notes that we’ll have to wait another couple of days before we see if he pancakes or not because he didn’t have the appropriate permission to perform the launch on public lands.
Is that an open bay I see behind the driver’s seat? Maybe it’s a ‘pickup rocket’ with room at the back for a couple of crates of beer and some motor-mowers?
I think he would probably get up higher, in more safely, if he used a smallish Cessna.
Science denier (atmospheric physics) are laughing about science denier (celestial physics).
Well done.
————————————
the long summer is coming
Laughing our socks/sox off!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/PAIRS-LADIES-WOMENS-DENIER-TROUSER/dp/B06XBQPXR9/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1512093548&sr=8-1&keywords=60+denier+knee+high+socks