Some cheesy jokes about this Saturday’s March
By Sam Kazman
Back in February, Yale Computer Science Professor David Gelernter, who may become the next White House science advisor, had this to say about the upcoming March for Science and its organizers: “It’s like this is some sort of Looney Tunes thing. I must be trapped in an alternate reality. They couldn’t possibly be serious.”
But with science marches now scheduled in many cities for this Saturday, timed to coincide with Earth Day, the organizers obviously are serious. Too serious, in our view. Using street protests to handle scientific controversies like climate change is only a few steps above using animal sacrifice.
At times like this, we need some perspective. And we need some cheesy science march jokes.
1. Why did the marcher walk straight into a tree even though he clearly saw it?
Because he refused to let an empirical observation get in his way.
2. Why did hundreds of marchers kiss the feet of one woman?
Because she was a model.
3. Why were so many of the marchers in tears?
Because they were far too sensitive.
4. Why did several hundred science marchers bump into each other at a red light?
Because they refused to recognize that the march had paused.
5. What percentage of the marchers had kale for lunch?
97%.
6. What did the Mexican food vendor say when the marchers complained about his salsa?
“I don’t change my recipes; the salsa is settled.”
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http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/dwightdeisenhowerfarewell.html
Eisenhower’s Farewell Address is noted and remembered for its warnings regarding the need to guard against the rising influence of the “military-industrial complex”. Far less frequently quoted are the even more prescient paragraphs that follow almost immediately after…
“Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades. In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.
Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been overshadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers. The prospect of domination of the nation’s scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present — and is gravely to be regarded.
Yet, in holding scientific research and discovery in respect, as we should, we must also be alert to the equal and opposite danger that public policy could itself become the captive of a scientific-technological elite.
It is the task of statesmanship to mold, to balance, and to integrate these and other forces, new and old, within the principles of our democratic system — ever aiming toward the supreme goals of our free society.”
The only march I’ll be doing is next Tuesday April 25, Anzac Day “lest we forget”
The problem with the alarmists is they have no sense of humor.
Armies march. Real scientists ask questions.
It seems that the scientists are unsettled.
Why did the marchers tumble off an unfinished overpass ? Because the march model said it was completed …
Why did the marchers sweat so much ? Because the models said it would be 40 degrees and they all wore coats …
Looks like April has two fools’ days.
http://i.imgur.com/2R7dCsz.jpg
OH – That is just Perfect!
Why did so many climate change alarmists and activists stay home rather than participate in the march?
Bad case of AlGoraphobia…
Democracy champion in the world hosts a pathological science based march towards misanthropic command economy? On the 93th birthday of the revolutionary Bolshevik? What next? A national socialist president in France tomorrow?
Why did the grand marshal of the Science Parade march them around and around the block. “To make the parade 4 1/2 times larger”
I’m still feeling cheated that I didn’t get the tin foil hat concession. Perhaps if I had offered them in ‘Pink’.
Have any of these pro-science climate alarmists ever heard of something called the null hypothesis?
So in fact this was march for denial of evidence based science, tested and independnently validated.in the USA? Hardly surprising when 60% prefer god creating man, roughly when someone started writing about it, well after the last ice Ice age ended so that never happened, so they also believe the planet has had this climate for their ever and god made it so? No wonder this debate is difficult.
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There were rational people addressing the great things science does like immunisation/medicine , GM crops, nuclear power, etc. But they are in the minority in the US where belief is prefered to reason nationally and cults like Scientogogy and Grreenpeace can thrive on bogus “evidence” they invent – but can’t reproduce, just like the bible…., Explains a lot.