Friday Funny – the root of all problems is climate change

There’s a famous cartoon by XKCD titled “Duty calls“, where someone is obsessing over something they’ve seen “wrong on the Internet”.  This Josh cartoon is a bit like that, in that much of the perceived “wrongness” of global warming, aka “climate change”, is seen only through the eyes of activists on the Internet reading the latest doomsday scenario from Climate Progress, Huffington Post, The Guardian, and a whole host of other alarmist media outlets.

It’s a virtual online maelstrom of badness, all timed for Paris COP21 as recent news items reveal.


Lest you think this is a joke, you can see just how many things have been claimed to be the fault of global warming, aka “climate change” by reading John Brignell’s Numberwatch warm list.

Truly, there’s not a facet of life or the planet untouched.

Image by Josh

UPDATE: Alan Watt notes this footnote added to the UK warm list –

Footnote (September 2015) Why the list stopped growing.

The time it takes to process a new entry increases approximately with the square of the list length, after checking for duplications, spoofs etc. Starting it was based on the naïve assumption that the rate of appearances would decline as opposing evidence accumulated, but the reverse happened. That’s the difference between science and religion. It was taking over my life, which I did not want to end as a garbage collector. There have since been hundreds more claims of an increasingly ludicrous nature.

126 thoughts on “Friday Funny – the root of all problems is climate change

      • Vuk, you’re right, of course.
        Higher CO2 levels mean the leaves fall later (as they are still useful to the trees for longer).
        But then the winds are stronger so they are blown and thus cover more of the tracks.
        That’s exactly what I meant. Glad we’re on the same wave length,
        (hee hee hee).

      • Well fortunately, those of us in the SF Bay area can just drive 10 km, if we don’t like our climate, and find a different one that is more to our liking.
        Obama has sure experienced a lot of climate change lately. I don’t think he’s been to the Antarctic highlands this week though.

      • In the UK, the wrong kind of snow has been blamed for train delays in the past. In fact some years back, a newly built, not a restore, Pacific 4-6-2 steam engine was put into service because the 750DC (I think) 3rd rail EMU commuter trains were “grounded” due to power issues. Makes ya think eh?

      • George E and Michael H
        I live in SW London near the well known tennis courts, two or three days ago we had 17C, and now it is snowing. No need to go anywhere for change of climate

      • ‘Well fortunately, those of us in the SF Bay area can just drive 10 km, ‘
        ‘here on Oahu we can go less than 5 miles to ‘
        In Ohio, we don’t have to drive anywhere. We just wait 10 minutes.

    • With Obama wanting to build his legacy around climate change, perhaps they’ll say of him, “he made the trains run on time”.

      • Alan,
        It may be ‘He made the trains run on line’ – thus ignoring contributions from rail(road) engineers since – at least – Trevithick and the 1807 Surrey Iron Railway.
        1807 – a date, not time.
        Before Wellington really made his name, @Waterloo, this bit of England had a public railway.
        Auto [with a small mental pat on the back! Yeah. Mental. ]

      • Santa,
        I see what you are trying to say.
        And yes, most of the publicly perceived problems are purely proto-Marxian in promulgation.
        But – as I tell my seafarers – look out of the window.
        Outside, there are real things happening.
        Some goodish. Others baddish.
        But actually happening.
        For real they are happening – not in some computer game’s virtual game-space.
        Nor in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, but here.
        Is it possible that – perchance – a declining real temperature ‘Outside the window’ may bring us problems?
        I am sure that it is possible.
        I hope it doesn’t happen.
        But it certainly could . . . .
        Auto, well wrapped up – much more than yesterday.

    • Marcus. If you keep what hair remains cut very close, baldness is an asset. Think Yul Brynner…. Sean Connery… Bruce Willis… Michael Jordan… .
      It’s the “Howdy Doody” haircut makes a bald man look awful. Oh, and growing hair long and combing it over (very, very awful).

      • Also, I’m not actually going bald yet BUT, the models show that I will…someday…maybe…kinda sorta !!!

      • Marcus (lol). Embrace your baldness (if it ever arrives…. CO2 will have an effect….. any …….. any………………….. any century, now)! You would not have mentioned that you are not yet bald if the possibility did not trouble you…. so! I am glad I made my comment!
        I am going to blame AGW-fueled Enviroprofiteering for my having no job! And I think I could do a pretty good job of showing a high degree of meaningful correlation… .

      • Oh, and (adding to my hair styling advice at 1:09pm, today) — IF your skin is prone to being “shiny,” buy some face powder that matches your skin tone and apply it with a professional quality make-up brush. There are expensive mineral-based powders (best), but, a good drugstore quality powder (I use it!) is L’Oreal True Match Powder. Be sure to blot with a dry wash cloth to even it out.
        ??? Oh. (chuckle) Just go to your physician (with your head still shiny) and say: “See? (pointing) I need to use this (pointing) powder, huh? (slow nod, slow nod, slow nod)” (if your doc is kinda dense, ask another one) “Why, of COURSE you do,” she or he will respond (with a smile).
        Then, you can just say: “Doctor said I needed to use this.”

      • What if I grow it long, and don’t comb it over ??
        I get my hair cut twice a year; whether it needs it or not !

      • Baldness is sometimes referred to as a “solar panel for a sex machine”.
        Trouble is that, like all renewables.. it loses its efficiency very rapidly.

      • Personal to Marcus (at 5:07pm)
        Look for the L’Oreal of Paris section — on the outside aisle, just opposite ladies handbags.

      • Most of my hair is a distant memory and the fringe just about my ears is kept short meaning I have saved a fortune on shampoo and conditioner.
        I blame my hair loss on a certain brand of shampoo by saying “I used Head and Shoulders and my hair fell out of my head onto my shoulders”
        And what’s all this Bull about Glo.Bull warming?
        James Bull

      • You would love my shiny, smooth dome and its accompanying platinum beard Janice. I suspect we boomers will be blamed for this new fashion as it plays nicely into the fact that a lot of us are losing our hair anyway. The benefits the boomers bring just go on and on.

    • Letter to Hair Restorer Emporium.
      Dear Sirs/Madam/whatever,
      Before I started using your hair restorer balm, I had three bald patches on my head.
      But now, I only have one, thanks to you !

      • Someone I knew many years ago (who had a head full of grey hair) told me once that as you grow older the roots of your hair grow deeper, if they find grey matter they turn grey if they find nothing they fall out.
        James Bull

      • Excellent example (so glad to see you got my point), Gunga Din! From a fun movie (a bit loooong in the Disneyland theme ride scenes toward the end, but good overall) with a GREAT message.

    • Well actually it would be just Gilbert. I believe Sullivan just wrote the music.
      I don’t think it is “Iolanthe” or “The Mikado”. My guess would be “The Gondoliers”.
      Certainly isn’t “Pirates of Penzance.”

      • You are correct, George. 🙂
        However… I was hoping people would “hear” the music, too (if they happened to have heard that little ditty — I am NOT fond of G & S musicals in general (too silly — even for me!), I heard it in a scene in “Chariots of Fire” (the Oxford U. get-newbies-to-join-your-club scene).
        Thus, “& Sullivan.”

      • The Gondoliers
        The Grand Inquisitor arrives at the ball to find that the Republican gondoliers have promoted everyone to the nobility. He explains that there must be a distinction between commoners and those of rank, warning that “when everyone is somebody, then no-one’s anybody”.

      • “The Gondoliers.” No G&S expert, but was curious so I checked. 🙂
        My parents did a lot of G&S stuff when I was a kid. I can confirm that when they say musical ability skips generations, it’s true.

      • Dear Phil R,
        It happens to the best of the WUWTers. lol, I could quite readily find you DOZENS of such posts.
        You know what I admire about your duplicate answer? Your enthusiasm! And, (cough) with all due respect to your parents (who must have been pretty lovely people to have a son as disarmingly humble as you)…. I would not say that a taste for Gilbert & Sullivan was especially able. More like, some people enjoy the taste of maraschino cherries…. and the rest of us do not.
        Keep on posting!
        Janice, Jr. (heh, heh, <– that just cracks me up, dear Elder (as in worthy of honor, nothing to do with age, imo) Janice)

  1. According to a note on the NumbersWatch site, he has stopped updating the list because it took too much time.

    Footnote (September 2015) Why the list stopped growing.
    The time it takes to process a new entry increases approximately with the square of the list length, after checking for duplications, spoofs etc. Starting it was based on the naïve assumption that the rate of appearances would decline as opposing evidence accumulated, but the reverse happened. That’s the difference between science and religion. It was taking over my life, which I did not want to end as a garbage collector. There have since been hundreds more claims of an increasingly ludicrous nature.

    Based on the recent upswing in protest activities, it’s clear global warming also causes racism (not currently on the list).

  2. …and homelessness, disease, heat strokes, refugees, extinctions, forest insects, wildfires, floods, droughts, and on and on.
    But it enhances……..grants, tenure, promotions, volume-based vitas, headlines, survey-based science, self declared ends of debates, over reach, policy tourism, carbon market rigging, polar science tourism, polar rescues, and the end of the pesky fact checking era.

      • “Aussiebear
        November 20, 2015 at 3:51 pm”
        Too right! My former wife still does not believe stress is a major trigger. I had no issues before mid-2010-ish.

      • “ralfellis
        November 21, 2015 at 8:43 am
        >>and the heartbreak of psoriasis”
        It is not a fungal disorder. It is a genetic immune blood disorder.

      • >>It is a genetic immune blood disorder.
        So they say, but I cured my very bad psoriasis with anti-fungals. Mostly Nizoral, diluted 10:1 and applied as a lotion. It makes it very red for a while, then improves. Takes about six months to get rid of a patch, and each patch does have a habit of returning after a year or so.
        What I have been trying to find out for the last 20 years, is whether my psoriasis was typical or something completely different. But nobody seems very interested. They have the established diagnosis, and they are sticking to it.

        • I thought mine ( up my left forearm ) was entirely due to stress. I now live with no stress and yet it flares up on a semi-regular basis. I treat it with a mixture of: water, Alkaline Earth minerals, alumino-silicates, white petroleum jelly, cetearyl alcohol, liquid paraffin, polysorbatum 60, ethyl alcohol and methyl 4-hydroxybenzoate. It goes by the trade name Dermalex so I suspect that some of those ingredients are made up names.
          It isn’t a cure, there isn’t one, but it does make the flare die down very quickly and the angry redness goes away as does the flaky skin. It stays calm for a few months or even longer but it always comes back.
          I like your anti-fungal attempt and may well try it. I do know that different people have different things that work for them and for nobody else. I have had recommended to me : milking slave ( cow udders cream ), brake fluid, shaving foam, cortisone cream, eucalyptus leaf poultice and on and on.
          I suspect that all of these “cures” just occupy one’s attention while time does its magic.

      • Well it may work for you. If you have other genetic blood disorders, as I do, I will stick to established treatments for the condition. I am not sure if you are English, but Google “The Singing Detective” played by Michael Gambon.

    • lol, nope, Latitude. AGWer’s, with their 10-year-old mentality, would say:
      (just replace “diarrhea” — blamed for everything under the sun in this charming tune — with “global warming”…..)
      “The {Globalwarming} Song” — from movie “Parenthood”


  3. As a farmer, I am definitely worried about the affects of global warming on the food supply. In recent years, we have had bumper crops of wheat, corn and soybeans which have created a burdensome supply of all three and lead to lower prices. And this all directly attributable to global warming. We’re doomed!!

    • Yep, like it did in 1982. You could see the meeja’ disappointment that it didn’t set a record.
      Of course, all urban records reflect increasing UHI and have nothing to do with the 0.2C of warming reliably measured. But has anyone ever seen UHI mentioned in the meeja?

    • What they do not tell you is the Observatory site MOVED (I don’t recall when) after records began (159 years ago). Funny how they now want to go back that far when the BoM starts from 1910. How much urbanisation around the Observatory has occurred since records began? Of course they kept banging on about 43c at the AIRPORT!!! Was there an airport when records began or even in 1910??

  4. Josh, you can’t use the term “Mild Weather” although this is surely caused by global warming the proper alarmist toned term is weather stagnation. Stagnant having a negative connotation would be the more proper adjective to describe the horrible conditions that mild stagnant weather could unleash on billions of people worldwide. The potential suffering from such monotonous weather conditions is unfathomable and should never be minimized by such descriptions as “mild”.

  5. Climate change caused the whistleblowing at NOAA and it caused the release of climategate emails.
    Climate change caused NOAA’s Karl to invalidate his integrity.
    Yup, yup and yup.

    • “global warming on Mars too.”
      …but not on 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko, according to our Sinistry of ecoloonacy and related stuff (and the ex of the president):

  6. Maybe, it didn’t happen at all….
    “Massively Altered” …German Professor Examines NASA GISS Temperature Datasets!
    By P Gosselin on 20. November 2015
    Veteran journalist Günter Ederer* writes a piece reporting that massive alterations have been found in the NASA GISS temperature data series, citing a comprehensive analysis conducted by a leading German scientist. These results are now available to the public.
    “From the publicly available data, Ewert made an unbelievable discovery: Between the years 2010 and 2012 the data measured since 1881 were altered so that they showed a significant warming, especially after 1950. […] A comparison of the data from 2010 with the data of 2012 shows that NASA-GISS had altered its own datasets so that especially after WWII a clear warming appears – although it never existed.” –

  7. Good one Josh!…
    But I’ve seen it in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Huffington Post, The LA Times, the Daily Kos, ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, the Weather Channel, the Weather Underground, my best friend from High School – and just add it to the list here…

  8. The real problem of CC is wrong expln of its cause. GHG idea is fake, imaginary, metaphorical… .. GHE due to gases is impossible, because gases can’t form green house.

  9. Human stupidity causes Climate “Change”, not ‘tother way around.
    A variable Climate, on the other hand, causes human “smarterness” – necessity being the Mother of Invention dontchaknow?
    Stupidity is winning.

  10. I would like to nominate John Brignell to the Skeptical Hall of Fame. Other nominations are doubtlessly due. But John has done sterling work in other areas of numerology as well. He has written two books that are very readable and instructive; buy them.

  11. All the satellites are falling out of the sky because the atmosphere is expanding from human destruction of the balance of nature. BTW, notice how many news agencies now have global warming or climate change as a menu item in the navigation bars? Seems like that would change the balance of web searches in the direction of climate lunacy.

  12. If Josh is right about climate change/global warming being responsible for my mortgage, then I demand a refund for all of my mortgage payments from Big Oil. If Bernie Sanders is right, then I should be provided with all my basic needs by government for free, including housing. They didn’t though, so climate change must be responsible for my having to take out a mortgage.
    It’s called climate justice, and I demand it now /sarc.

  13. The guy down the street gives his wife a real beating. What’s his best defence? Climate change made him do it.
    A crook shoots dead a cop trying to arrest him. What’s his best defence? Climate change made him do it.
    An Islamic State terrorist murders 200 people in the subway? What’s his best defence? Yep, you guessed it… climate change!
    And they’ll have as their witnesses some eminent authorities to prove it … Barack Obama, John Kerry, Bernie Saunders etc etc etc

  14. Many a greedy profiteer is willing to play the fool for money.
    Heard on the evening news that France, as part of its “emergency” measures to fight Islamic terror, can now ban/restrict internet sites that “incite terror.”
    So. Now we know why the Enviroprofiteers’ politicians-for-hire are out there making donkeys of themselves on TV by claiming that “climate change causes terror.”
    Follow the money:
    1. Enviroprofiteers (Big Wind, Solar, “Sustainability” products/services) will lose a lot of money if the taxpayers refuse to continue to fund (via taxes and via power rate surcharges) their permanently-negative-ROI “investments.”
    2. Science truth websites such as Pierre Gosselin’s (sp?) educate the public about the fr@ud the Enviroprofiteers are foisting on the public (using l1es about human CO2) making these sites a threat to profits.
    3. Pass an “emergency” (presumably suspending Constitutional liberties such as freedom of the press and freedom of speech) law banning internet sites that “incite terrorism.”
    4. Claim that “climate change” causes terrorism.
    5. Label any website that says that climate change is not even a real problem, much less a cause of terrorism, a “site that incites terrorism” BECAUSE the site’s telling the public the truth about CO2 will prevent the public from stopping climate change, thus, not stop terror.
    Follow the money.

    • Another, related thought:
      In the early 1970’s, Obama mentor, Bill Ayers’s group, The Weathermen, stated that its goal was to “bomb the United States into a police state” creating the need for martial law with The Weathermen and their ilk being the martials.
      2015: same strategy, except that now they enable (via immigration policies, grossly inappropriate rules of engagement for the U.S. Armed Forces, and other acts or failures to act which promote more Jihadis entering the West) Islamic terrorists to do the “bombing” into a police state.
      Yes, of course the rabid jihadi hyenas would*, in the end, turn on their handlers…. the neo-Weathermen’s {B. Hussein, et. al.} vision is, however, too clouded by hubris to recognize this inevitability: they are in control!
      (mirthless laugh)
      *I used “would” for I do not believe this Islam-terror-police state strategy will work. America (and the rest of the free West) IS. Truth WILL triumph and good WILL prevail. It always has.
      In the end, truth wins.
      Every time.

    • “presumably suspending Constitutional liberties such as freedom of the press ”
      The 12 days state of emergency has been extended to 3 months. This allows the control of the press. Already.
      Anyway, the idea of the French government wanting to control the press is hilarious, given the fact that 90 % of journalists vote left (according to polls), that most of those who don’t are as much socialist as the PS (socialist party), that 97 % of journalists are ecoloons (I just made that up, might be a lot more).

  15. It becomes increasingly clear that the root cause of this travesty is United Nations misconception of the scientific method – United Nations premature endorsement of a pre-scientific theory as science.
    Karl Popper, the master mind behind our modern scientific method has a great piece on such theories in his lecture Science as Falsification
    “These theories appear to be able to explain practically everything that happened within the fields to which they referred. The study of any of them seemed to have the effect of an intellectual conversion or revelation, open your eyes to a new truth hidden from those not yet initiated. Once your eyes were thus opened you saw confirmed instances everywhere: the world was full of verifications of the theory. Whatever happened always confirmed it. Thus its truth appeared manifest; and unbelievers were clearly people who did not want to see the manifest truth; who refuse to see it …”
    Everything is allowed by United Nations global warming theory: More rain and less rain, more ice and less ice, higher temperatures and lower temperatures!, more wind and less wind – the sea level is rising anyhow – this theory prohibits nothing – nothing its believers would accept as a falsifying experience.
    Here is a Youtube version for those who prefer listening to the lecture:
    By United Nations endorsement of pre-scientific theory United Nations has become a kind of cultural problem is was put up to achieve international co-operation in solving by its charter (Article 1 – 3 . “To achieve international co-operation in solving international problems of an economic, social, cultural, or humanitarian character.” Have mercy with us.

  16. Under curriculum change I half expected to discover that Global Warming was to blame for the cancellation of all course studies in Logic.

  17. It appears that since the advent of Global Warming there has been a marked drop in the intellect and intelligence of certaln Polititians,after all they blame it for almost every problem known to man!

  18. Blame it on AGW? Well, according to the ‘singer’, Charlotte Church and her new bessie mate, Russell Brand (who, according to the Guardian, is a cult), the war in Syria is all down to GW.

  19. Speaking of changing climate, the intense cold in Greenland was broken 48 hours ago by a warm flow of surface wind, which has it’s roots starting around 30N latitude. This has led to increased precipitation in Greenland and the DMI shows the results of that today…
    Greenland temps shot up around 20F from the bitter cold of the preceding 30+ days. This surface wind has then exited eastward from Greenland and then drops due south. This is carrying it right into Europe centered on France. This has resulted in a break in the above average warmth of the last 5 weeks, as this surface wind is carrying the cold from Greenland to the south. With any luck and God willing, this will continue for some time. The 10 day forecast for Paris has undergone quite a change in the last 24 hours…

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