Friday Funny – Best Grauniad typo ever

Grauniad smallPeople send me stuff. The name “Grauniad” as defined by Urban Dictionary says:

The Grauniad is a nickname for the UK national newspaper, the Guardian, because of a now ill-founded reputation for typos. The name was given to it by the satirical magazine Private Eye. The Guardian newspaper earned its reputation for lots of misprints in the days of hot-metal printing when it was published in Manchester (it was originally called the Manchester Guardian), and the editions that appeared in London were very early editions brought down by train, before all the errors had been spotted.

And so it goes today. Lost in Lima, will they ever find it?

find-global-warmingYes, if you find it somewhere in the midst of “the pause”, please point it out.

h/t to Howard Goodall and also the scientist-as-troll known as “and then there’s physics”, writing:

Hey, is that a simple Gruniad typo I see, or one of the most revealing Freudian slip of all time 😉

 

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December 12, 2014 5:43 am

“…to find climate change by the end of next year.”
OMG!
Climate change is lost!
Wherever can it be?
Al Gore – “I put it somewhere, but can’t remember where.”
Pachauri – “We must act now anyway, because it will be really bad when we find it.”
Pelosi – “We need to vote to prevent it, then we can look for it.”

Reply to  JohnWho
December 12, 2014 7:07 am

We have less than a year to find Climate change. If we fail to do so, our children will never have the opportunity to see climate change.

Reply to  Paul in Sweden
December 12, 2014 7:55 am

So this is how Karma works, eh?

Mike from the cold side of the Sierra
Reply to  JohnWho
December 12, 2014 7:34 am

Al Gore – Perhaps you should check the lock box.

Doogie
Reply to  Mike from the cold side of the Sierra
December 12, 2014 3:10 pm

Maybe Tipper got it in the big breakup.

ConTrari
Reply to  JohnWho
December 13, 2014 5:11 pm

First one must invent, then prevent. But what kind of typo is this, what would have been the correct text? “Fund” climate change perhaps, not find? Though it seems a bit blasphemeous.

Reply to  ConTrari
December 14, 2014 5:31 am

But then you are suggesting the absurd, namely that climate change needs funding or it will not happen. Hmmm… but cutting the funding would be a good place to start.

Knutsfordian
Reply to  JohnWho
December 13, 2014 5:18 pm

Schnozzle – “Let’s celebrate I’m feeling great I’m the guy who found the lost change.

zorro
Reply to  JohnWho
December 13, 2014 7:13 pm

Oceans ate it.

Gary Pearse
December 12, 2014 5:51 am

I think some wag in editorial did this.

Jimbo
Reply to  Gary Pearse
December 12, 2014 7:11 am

What makes people think it’s a typo? 😉

Paul Westhaver
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 7:47 am

I agree. It isn’t a typo. Climate change isn’t a collective noun phrase indicating a series of variations in planetary climate, rather it is an anthropomorphism, a God to be worshiped. It has a name, a birth date, a personality, a body and spirit. So the attribution that it can be lost is extant from the mindset of the writer.
So weird…

Jimbo
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 9:34 am

Here is a sports headline from the Guardian in January of this year. You Americans will have to look for yourselves what the word ‘wanking’ means.
http://www.thescore.ie/guardian-typo-ranking-commentators-1252337-Jan2014/
http://c2.thejournal.ie/media/2014/01/wanking.png

Bryan A
Reply to  Jimbo
December 13, 2014 1:52 pm

What makes people think it’s a typo? 😉
Obviously supposed to be Fund but so far there has been no FUN and since they are getting close to FIN

TRM
Reply to  Gary Pearse
December 12, 2014 8:49 am

Freudian slip or honest moment? You could be correct. I mean even the type setters and proof readers must know by now that global warming stopped 13-18 years ago (depending on which data set you look at).
I would be just such a person were I stuck putting this drivel out day after freaking day. I’d lose it or get mischievous.

Joe Public
December 12, 2014 5:54 am

C’mon guys & gals – that’s no typo, that’s reality.

MarkW
December 12, 2014 5:54 am

It’s more lost than we thought.

cnxtim
December 12, 2014 5:58 am

The most surprising thing about this rag is that they actually use words, and presumably, people who follow it can actually read..The world is indeed amazing

December 12, 2014 6:06 am

No it is not a typo, it is necessity, something has to be done before the Arctic ice vanishes.
the Guardian, Monday 17 September 2012
Arctic expert predicts final collapse of sea ice within four years
“This collapse, I predicted would occur in 2015-16 at which time the summer Arctic (August to September) would become ice-free. The final collapse towards that state is now happening and will probably be complete by those dates”.

George Lawson
Reply to  vukcevic
December 12, 2014 12:01 pm

I wonder how many academics have been so wrong in their prognostications on the future effects of so-called Global Warming and the catastrophe that is going to have on this wonderful world of ours. Just because they have a title they always seem to be listened to by such shallow thinking of rags like The Guardian. You would have thought that the editorial staff at these papers would have learned their lesson by now.

Alba
Reply to  vukcevic
December 12, 2014 7:17 am

Remember that countdown on this page? I can’t remember what it was about but the time obviously expired without the event happening. How about a new countdown for this eccentric prediction?

Jimbo
Reply to  vukcevic
December 12, 2014 9:26 am

It was Peter Wadhams. He has now changed his prediction to 2020, and thought no one would notice. A devious character indeed.

Links for quotes from Professor Peter Wadhams
[Cambridge University]
—————-
Daily Telegraph – 8 November 2011
Arctic sea ice ‘to melt by 2015’
Prof Wadhams said: “His [model] is the most extreme but he is also the best modeller around.
“It is really showing the fall-off in ice volume is so fast that it is going to bring us to zero very quickly. 2015 is a very serious prediction and I think I am pretty much persuaded that that’s when it will happen.”
——-
BBC News – 27 August 2012
Professor Peter Wadhams, from Cambridge University, told BBC News: “A number of scientists who have actually been working with sea ice measurement had predicted some years ago that the retreat would accelerate and that the summer Arctic would become ice-free by 2015 or 2016.
I was one of those scientists – and of course bore my share of ridicule for daring to make such an alarmist prediction.”
——-
Guardian – 17 September 2012
Arctic expert predicts final collapse of sea ice within four years
“This collapse, I predicted would occur in 2015-16 at which time the summer Arctic (August to September) would become ice-free. The final collapse towards that state is now happening and will probably be complete by those dates”.
——-
Financial Times Magazine – 2 August 2013
“It could even be this year or next year but not later than 2015 there won’t be any ice in the Arctic in the summer,” he said, pulling out a battered laptop to show a diagram explaining his calculations, which he calls “the Arctic death spiral”.
——-
The Scotsman – 12 September 2013
Arctic sea ice will vanish within three years, says expert
“The entire ice cover is now on the point of collapse.
“The extra open water already created by the retreating ice allows bigger waves to be generated by storms, which are sweeping away the surviving ice. It is truly the case that it will be all gone by 2015. The consequences are enormous and represent a huge boost to global warming.”
——-
Arctic News – June 27, 2012
My own view of what will happen is: 1. Summer sea ice disappears, except perhaps for small multiyear remnant north of Greenland and Ellesmere Island, by 2015-16. 2. By 2020 the ice free season lasts at least a month and by 2030 has extended to 3 months…..
——-
TheRealNews – 29 May 2014
Transcript [Youtube]
[Q] WORONCZUK: And, Peter, what’s your take? Do you think that we’ve already passed the point of no return in terms of controlling polar ice cap melting?
[A] WADHAMS: Yes, I think we have. A few years ago, I predicted that the summer sea ice–that’s the September minimum–would go to zero by about 2015. And at that stage, it was only really one model that agreed with me. My prediction was based on observations from satellites and from measurements from submarines of ice thickness, which I’ve been doing from British subs, and Americans have been doing the same from American subs. And the trend was so clear and so definite that it would go to zero by 2015 that I felt it was safe to make that prediction, and I still think it is, because next year, although this year we don’t expect things to retreat much further than last, next year will be an El Niño year, which is a warmer year, and I think it will go to zero.

jayhd
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 9:44 am

Damn, I was so looking forward to kayaking to the North Pole next summer.

Crispin in Waterloo
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 2:09 pm

“[Q] WORONCZUK: And, Peter, what’s your take? Do you think that we’ve already passed the point of no return in terms of controlling polar ice cap melting?”
Whereas before, we were fully in control of those pesky ice caps. Oh, things were so much better run back in the days of my youth. The government controlled everything. People forget how good we had it.
Gone are the days when the climate was at our mercy. Now we are at the mercy of the climate! The next thing you know they will be putting high fructose corn syrup and MSG into the food supply.
I wish we hadn’t passed that point of no return.
/sarc

December 12, 2014 6:07 am

William Connolley – “It is not lost, it is right here on this Wikipedia page I just edited.”
Dr. Mann – “If you take a hockey stick thusly and hit it against a tree like this, you’ll find the resultant tree rings show that climate change is, uh, wait, disregard that last 50 plus years, the climate doesn’t change that way. Now, look right here where the plotted data takes a sharp turn, uh, where was I? Now I’m lost.”
SkS website – “We have it right here. We always do. Why, we change what people say about climate all the time. Oh, wait, you said “climate change”. Never mind.”

Reed Coray
Reply to  JohnWho
December 12, 2014 11:16 am

Nancy Pelosi — “We’ll have to find it to know what it is.”

December 12, 2014 6:08 am

The talks – scheduled to end at noon local time on Friday after 10 full days – are intended to provide a clear blueprint for a global agreement to find climate change by the end of next year.

And it’s a travesty that we can’t find it!

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  UnfrozenCavemanMD
December 12, 2014 7:27 pm

I think they meant to say “fund”. Climate Change is broke, and needs some new sharpies to make a new sign.

Harry Passfield
December 12, 2014 6:10 am

Personally, I always thought “andthentheresphysics” was a tyro.

GeeJam
December 12, 2014 6:10 am

“Damn. I’m stuffed without it. I left it next to the car keys. It was there this morning. . . . . Honey, have you seen the climate change anywhere?”
Cue: Josh

AndyG55
Reply to  GeeJam
December 12, 2014 11:30 am

“Honey, have you seen the climate change anywhere?””
Honey.. I shrunk the climate change. !

Harry Passfield
December 12, 2014 6:11 am

😉

jon
December 12, 2014 6:14 am

“Yes, if you find it somewhere in the midst of “the pause”, please point it out.”
epa is in the middle of “thE PAuse”

December 12, 2014 6:16 am

Do they have a typo every few days ?
Here is one more from the article published on 10th December 2014:
“An El Niño is officially declared if the temperature of the western tropical Pacific rises 0.5C above the long-term average.”
link:
http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/dec/10/first-el-nino-in-five-years-declared-by-japans-weather-bureau

Oldseadog
December 12, 2014 6:16 am

They haven’t looked very far, it is all in the (adjusted) data.

Bloke down the pub
December 12, 2014 6:19 am

I’ve spotted another typo.
As crucial UN climate summit in Peru enters final hours, negotiators have made little progress on draft text.
There, sorted.

kenw
Reply to  Bloke down the pub
December 12, 2014 6:23 am

+

pablo an ex pat
December 12, 2014 6:22 am

A quote from the late great Kenneth Wolstenholme in July 1966 on soccer but relevant to this
“Some people are on the pitch….they think it’s all over……. It is now !”

Apologies to our German friends but you had the reverse happen in South Africa in 2010.

Tim
December 12, 2014 6:27 am

They seek it here, they seek it there
Those warmists seek it everywhere
Is it in heaven or is it in hell?
That dammed elusive warming.

rogerknights
Reply to  Tim
December 12, 2014 5:26 pm

Is it in heaven or is it in hell?
That dammed elusive warming-tell.

Now it rhymes.

Resourceguy
December 12, 2014 6:29 am

Little progress is code for “We’ll Gruber it in the late night hours and pronounce it good, no matter how out of touch it may be.”

Taz1999
December 12, 2014 6:31 am

With apologies to xkcd.com Higgs-boson. We thought you had already found climate change. Yeah, but we lost it. It was very small

December 12, 2014 6:33 am

‘Seek, and…’

Jimbo
Reply to  junkkmale
December 12, 2014 9:45 am

…ye shall find.’ I have found ‘Climate Change!’

Camperdown Chronicle 1903
THE ENGLISH CLIMATE. IS IT CHANGING?
“In the face of the facts it seems hardly worth while to answer the question, Is the climate changing? Every one knows that we hardly ever have a real old-fashioned, snow-clad Christmas in these times that fires are often welcome on Midsummer Day, and that September— after the cricket season—often turns out to be the best month of the year…”
____________________
The Brisbane Courier 1903
IS THE CLIMATE CHANGING?
“…..that the mean summer temperature at the Melbourne Observatory for the three years from 1859 to 1862 was 75.8, while for the last three years, from 1899 to 1902, the mean summer tempera-ture was 76.5—a difference of less than a degree….”
____________________
Examiner (Launceston, Tas.) 1906
IS THE EARTH GETTING WARMER?
That the earth is growing temporarilly warmer is shown by the mountain gla-ciers….The latest report includes 90 glaciers in the Swiss Alps, in Norway, Greenland, the Caucasus, the Pamir, the North West United States, Western Canada. and Africa, and practically all are grow-ing smaller. In the Savoy Alps and the Pyrenees small glaciers have quite dis- appeared.
____________________
Cairns Post 1923
TEMPERATE ARCTIC
“The discovery by American seal fishers that of late there has been a remarkable increase in the mean tem-perature of the Arctic, and that in some parts of the Polar basin no ice has been seen less than 9 degrees from the North Pole, agrees with the ex- perience of many Arctic explorers in recent years…”
____________________
The Sydney Morning Herald 1926
CHANGING CLIMATE. AMERICAN EXPERIENCE. RECORDED FACTS
“Although the temperature year by year fluctuates widely from the average, there is an underlying upward trend in the northern United States and Canada like a slowly rising tide, while in the south of the United States the trend is the other way. Thus the con-trast between the weather of the north and south is diminishing, and the climate ot the country as a whole is ameliorating…”
____________________
The Register News-Pictorial 1930
WARMER WORLD Weather Physicist Looks Ahead
The world is growing warmer. Dr. J. W. Humphreys, physicist of the Weather Bureau,…..”There is evidence, however, that the world as a whole is very slowly growing warmer,” he said. “The evidence is that glaciers in all parts of the world have been on the average slowly retreating since the culmina- tion of the Ice Age, and they are still slowly retreating….”
____________________
The Courier-Mail 1934
WORLD’S CHANGING CLIMATE Unsafe To Generalise
“The fact that during last year 81 of 100 Swiss glaciers decreased in size did not in any way indicate that the earth was becoming warmer and drier, said professor H. C. Richards, Pro- fessor of Geology at the Queensland University, yesterday, commenting on a message from Geneva concerning a world-wide drought. Even if the ob-servations of Swiss glaciers were con-tinued over a period of 50 years, he said, the data obtained could not warrant any general statement that the world as a whole was becoming drier or warmer…”
____________________
Camperdown Chronicle 1937
THE WARM ARCTIC!
“We are usually inclined to regard the Arctic as a region where it is always cold. Actually, this is an erroneous belief. In the summer quite a large part of the continental Arctic has temperatures of 80 degrees F. in the shade
____________________
The Courier-Mail 1939
WORLD CLIMATE CHANGING Scientists Puzzled
“Scientists’ investigations show that the world’s climate is changing. But whether it is becoming wetter, warmer, drier, or colder they can’t say with certainty. Dr. F. W. Whitehouse, University geologist, said this yesterday in an ad- dress to the Constitutional Club…”
____________________
Western Mail 1941
Impending Climatic Change.
“The report was made by Halbert P. Gillette, of Chicago, to the association’s geology section….”Three of the long climatic cycles.” he reports, “have produced a downward trend in rainfall in many regions, cul-minating in a series of droughts begin-ning about 1920. This series of cycles probably will continue until about 1990. In many regions these droughts bid fair to be more severe than any long series in the last 20 centuries. It will therefore prove futile to continue the present policy of relief in the dustbowl regions. Wholesale migrations from these regions seems advisable.”…”
____________________
The Canberra Times 1951
WEATHER REALLY IS CHANGING
Sunspot activity indicates that the world will have generally cooler summers and colder win-ters during the next 15 years, according to a forecast based on the study of sunspot cycles go- ing back to 1790. Dr. H. C. Willett, meteorolo-gist at the Massachusetts Insti-tue of Technology, said to-day that official records of sunspot activity linked their activity with weather conditions in all parts of the world….”

Iain Cook
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 1:15 pm

Jimbo, this list is completely brilliant and should be slipped into every copy of the latest IPCC edition under “plus ca change….”). On a related topic (“Model it and it will come” fails), did you know that deaths from malaria are declining? Remember how we were supposed to be swamped with a tidal wave of Anopheles epidemics due to soaring temperatures? Well, malaria globally has decreased over the last decade, NOT increased (World Malaria Report 2014). However, the beautiful irony doesn’t stop there. Africans have ignored the murderous Green edicts and implemented the widespread use of insecticide-soaked netting for sleeping, which is credited with a large part of the gains in survival.
http://lifescientist.com.au/content/health-medical/news/malaria-on-the-decline-968143162?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=als_1412_2&utm_content=als_1412_2+CID_9bd06581d4c9d8e8add6012dda857616&utm_source=Campaign%20Monitor&utm_term=more

Crispin in Waterloo
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 2:20 pm

Interesting that there were a great many American climate refugees in the dust bowl days. I wonder why they are not called that now.

Gunga Din
Reply to  Jimbo
December 12, 2014 3:00 pm

The more things change the more they stay the same. 😎

Reply to  Jimbo
December 13, 2014 4:37 pm

Jimbo, may I please act like a real Climate Scientist and use YOUR efforts to find these Southern Hemisphere news blurbs to compose a Letter to the Editor? We don’t get Australian news in Rockford, Illinois.

rogerknights
Reply to  junkkmale
December 12, 2014 5:29 pm

Freak and ye shall fund.

somersetsteve
December 12, 2014 6:34 am

It’s hiding in the deep Oceans..

Kurt in Switzerland
December 12, 2014 6:45 am

That just made my day.
As good a laugh about the two Irish nuns at the traffic light.
Kurt in Switzerland

Baa Humbug
December 12, 2014 6:52 am

That paragraph is inane even with the typo corrected.
To FUND climate change?

MCourtney
Reply to  Baa Humbug
December 12, 2014 9:18 am

Maybe, to FEND climate change.
But they are probably talking about their own pay checks, yes.

ConTrari
Reply to  MCourtney
December 13, 2014 5:18 pm

To FEND OFF climate change might have made sense…

Woz
Reply to  Baa Humbug
December 13, 2014 1:05 am

To FANNED climate change?

Bruce Cobb
December 12, 2014 6:54 am

I believe if they input the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 they may find it again.

Kurt in Switzerland
December 12, 2014 6:54 am

Shucks, they corrected the error.
Now reading “fight” instead of “find” — either the editors of the Gnauriad have no sense of humor or they read WUWT.
Meanwhile, the whole Lima thing is turning into a pledge-a-thon gone awry.
The U.S. Congress just decided not to support Barack’s $3B pledge.
The Greenpeace photo op in Nazca was definitely an omen.
Kurt in Switzerland

sherlock1
December 12, 2014 7:05 am

Actually, I’m quite heartened by the paragraph BEFORE the ‘boxed’ one with the typo…
‘Negotiators working on a deal to fight climate change have agreed on just a single paragraph of text,casting a shadow over the prospects for a strong outcome from Lima…’
Seems the Lima talks are heading the same way as Copenhagen, etc…

Reply to  sherlock1
December 12, 2014 7:59 am

They’ll have to do something drastic.
Lima was to set the stage for Paris, wasn’t it this spring, wasn’t it?

garymount
Reply to  mikerestin
December 12, 2014 3:53 pm

COP 21 : The international climate conference will be held at the Le Bourget site from 30 November to 11 December 2015.

Mike H
December 12, 2014 7:15 am

Do you think it possible entire articles are typos?
Typo aside, the entire paragraph is horribly written. Grade 8 level writing. Says something.

December 12, 2014 7:16 am

‘Tis the season… ‘It’s beeeehind yooooou!’

Bruce Cobb
December 12, 2014 7:27 am

Hmmm…How on earth did “fight climate change” become “find climate change”? I believe the word was originally meant to be “fund”, since funding is what the fighting in Peru is all about. But when their typo was pointed out to them by WUWT, they decided to change it to “fight” instead of fund, to hide the money-grubbing aspect.

Bill Thomson
Reply to  Bruce Cobb
December 12, 2014 6:59 pm

I is adjacent to U on the keyboard. That would be a typo with a logical explanation.

Mike from the cold side of the Sierra
December 12, 2014 7:28 am

Maybe they should adopt the policy of passing the bill before reading it. Works for US Congress, unfortunately.

FerdinandAkin
December 12, 2014 7:28 am

They should check EBAY. There are probably several for sale there.

Glyn Palmer
December 12, 2014 7:34 am

“God reads the Guardian, but the proof readers don’t.”

Dawtgtomis
December 12, 2014 7:38 am

one of the most revealing Freudian slip of all time

It’s just like a surgeon says; “It’s gotta come out sooner or later.”

Dave Ward
December 12, 2014 7:53 am
stephen
December 12, 2014 7:54 am

lol. brilliant.

December 12, 2014 7:54 am

You do realise that if that is meant to be “fund”, it reads just as badly!

Ben
December 12, 2014 7:56 am

“Honey, I shrunk the climate change.”

Alx
December 12, 2014 7:56 am

“Climate change”
What in the holy tuba is that supposed to mean.
It is a complete misnomer. Is the idea that since even complete imbeciles know that the climate as well as weather changes that everyone will jump on the climate change bandwagon? Is that the idea? This is Orwellian.
Instead of “Climate Change”, it should be called, as chicken little put it, “The sky is falling”.

Dodgy Geezer
December 12, 2014 7:57 am

…The name was given to it by the satirical magazine Private Eye…
There is a little more to this story. “Grauniad” was actually how the paper once misspelt it’s own name on the page heading in an issue. Alas, it was not the front page – that would, I think, have been noticed pretty early, but it WAS a page heading…

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
December 12, 2014 7:58 am

We did not find it from our boat.
We could not prove a smaller goat.
Nor melting glaciers, Himalayan,
Even if we all go vegan.
Our warnings now seem like a scam.
We can not find it, Mann-I-Am!
Apologies to Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel), who would probably not agree.

RACookPE1978
Editor
Reply to  Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
December 12, 2014 9:11 am

Well, Alan Watt A-Man!

Dawtgtomis
Reply to  Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
December 12, 2014 9:12 am

Well done!

Reply to  Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
December 12, 2014 10:09 am

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 on December 12, 2014 at 7:58 am

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7,
Excellent! Perfect for a cartoon.
John

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
December 12, 2014 8:05 pm

You, sir, are hereby and forthwith promoted to Climate Denialist Level 6, with Oak Leaf Clusters.

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
Reply to  Jeff Alberts
December 13, 2014 9:34 am

You have the Climate Denialist rankings inverted. After level 7 comes level 8. See here for the inspiration.

michael hart
December 12, 2014 7:59 am

To boiledly go where no English language has gone before.
Poor mites.

michael hart
December 12, 2014 8:04 am

And currently only 7 hours until the Limatics officially conclude their orgy of failure. The stupid in pursuit of the unthinkable.

paqyfelyc
December 12, 2014 8:07 am

Jesus. The anthropogenic climate change wasn’t strong enough a foe, according to Grauniad we now ought to fight any climate change, whether anthpopogenic or not.
In fact this means that Man is supposed to take control of the climate, so that it never change, never, nowhere on Earth…
Actually not illogical, since there’s no way to distinguish anthropogenic climate change from any other climate change, but, still, Methink they had better not correct the typo.

mike restin
Reply to  paqyfelyc
December 12, 2014 9:40 pm

That’s got to be a plot from a James Bond movie, right?

ConTrari
Reply to  mike restin
December 13, 2014 5:23 pm

“Live and let die” Yes, sounds like a good COP.

mpainter
December 12, 2014 8:16 am

The real significance is that these talks are a collosal flop, as given in the report that only one paragraph of text has so far been agreed on.The talks end at noon today. There will be a last minute scramble for some meaningless, face-saving text to be agreed on and presented to the world. Global warmers have nothing left but puddles of stale urine.
AGW is a twitching corpse.

Reply to  mpainter
December 12, 2014 8:36 am

As I understand it, that one para revolves around the location, menu choices, etc of the next jolly. And so it goes. At least perpetual motion has been invented, though the GHG generation appears to be soaring. Leave only massive carbon footprints, delegates!

Hot under the collar
December 12, 2014 8:27 am

No typo, just the Grauniad’s most accurate article EVER on Climate Change.

Bruce Cobb
December 12, 2014 8:34 am

Marshall Islands president Christopher Loeak:
“Paris won’t be another Copenhagen [the 2009 climate summit that floppped] – the world has changed too much. The world’s two biggest emitters – China and the US – are now on the same page and understand the need to act. There is a deal to be done and everyone is getting on board.”
Yes, the gravy train heading to Paris is boarding now, so All Aboard! The only stragglers appear to be those who are supposed to be paying for it, and haggling over who will pay and how much.

earwig42
December 12, 2014 8:44 am

I spend too much time reading the snarky comments like those above. Enjoyed them all. 🙂
Why is it that only skeptics seem to have a sense of humor?
“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”
Mark Twain

jorgekafkazar
Reply to  earwig42
December 12, 2014 10:07 am

Actually, the gullibles do have a sense of humor. It lies deep within their lizard brain where it becomes perceptible only on rare occasions when it sees the opportunity for a wonderfully true typo and creates it so quickly the conscious mind is unaware of it. Slip happens.

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  jorgekafkazar
December 12, 2014 8:28 pm

It also manifests when Photoshop and old NAZI photos converge…

Hot under the collar
December 12, 2014 8:47 am

As if the Lima photo caption above wasn’t funny enough, “we have seen the laggards throwing in language of all kinds into the negotiating document” – I actually read it first time as “…seen the ‘BLAGGARDS’ throwing in..”

jorgekafkazar
Reply to  Hot under the collar
December 12, 2014 10:09 am

Obviously, we can create our own internal Freudian slips. Pretty accurate, too.

Patrick Collins
December 12, 2014 9:14 am

Finding climate change should be easy. Examine one of the many climate history projects, GISP2 for example.

December 12, 2014 9:17 am

“We do not consider this a failure at all. Instead, it is a mark of progress, especially progress in the process,”

jorgekafkazar
Reply to  vukcevic
December 12, 2014 10:46 am

Another way of saying, “Our lack of progress has been a great success.” Which, in a way, is perfectly true.

Bruce Cobb
December 12, 2014 9:43 am

MISSING (since 1996):
Global Warming aka Climate Change (may have other aliases as well).
Known to take on various appearances.
Fond of hockey.
May be found at the bottom of the ocean, but could be anywhere.
Reward for finding: saving the planet plus free trip to Al Gore’s mansion.
Please help. Warmists, those in the Climate Industry, and those depending on the money from it are counting on you.

Reply to  Bruce Cobb
December 12, 2014 10:03 am

Bruce Cobb on December 12, 2014 at 9:43 am

Bruce Cobb,
That ‘Missing Science’ report on missing Global Warming Theory is priceless.
Thanks. It made my Friday happier.
John

December 12, 2014 9:56 am

The Gruniad is not really a serious paper and “Private eye” magazine found this out decades ago (before the pause incidentally, but in the midst of the Ice Age scare, remember that).
It is a comfort blanket for the feeble minded watermelons and self hating middle class types.
When they find “Climate Change” they will adjust it, magnify it and say their is no denying it.

December 12, 2014 10:04 am

The Guardian Friday 12 December 2014:
“….. whale poo helps reverse the effects of climate change.”

jorgekafkazar
Reply to  vukcevic
December 12, 2014 10:35 am

No…kidding?

December 12, 2014 10:15 am

FUNDING of their Global Climate Change Business is their most important product. pg

Gary in Erko
December 12, 2014 10:28 am

Global warning use to be lots. Hope they can fun it again.

Silver ralph
December 12, 2014 10:47 am

It is not just in the urban dictionary. Type in the following url, and see what you get.
http://www.grauniad.co.uk
Ralph

December 12, 2014 11:24 am

{bold emphasis mine – JW}
Reporter Suzanne Goldenberg (of the Guardian) in Lima said,
“The talks – scheduled to end at noon local time on Friday after 10 full days – are intended to provide a clear blueprint for a global agreement to find climate change by the end of next year.”

Suzanne Goldenberg,
Your use of the word ‘find’ was accurate and honestly reported. Thank you in that regard.
But it does not appear to me that you were even close to being accurate and honest in reporting the Lima conference’s intention is to provide a global agreement that is a ‘clear blueprint’. Obscure bureaucratic fuzzy speak is more likely the Lima conference’s intention instead; fuzzy speak which reasonable people cannot understand enough to clearly oppose thus suits the purpose of creeping increases in controls on fossil fuels by obscure political processes. Clear blueprints are unlikely to have been the intention of the Lima conference because clear blueprints that can be understood by reasonable independently critical people will be easily stopped by such reasonable people.
John

AndyG55
December 12, 2014 11:33 am

Hey, they created it the first time…
…have they lost the recipe or something ?

joelobryan
December 12, 2014 11:51 am

The caption from the Grauniad picture above quotes that heavy-weight of international diplomacy, the Foreign Minister of the Marshall Islands. Tony de Brum’s other famous line is “De plane, de plane, izzz here!””

Reply to  joelobryan
December 12, 2014 12:25 pm

joelobryan on December 12, 2014 at 11:51 am

joelobryan,
Feynman (author of the well known Cargo Cult Science lecture) would be laughing is ass off at your comment if he were still alive. Well done.
Meanwhile you have delighted Cargo Cult worshippers with the false hope that there is an imminent arrival of their long awaited cargo on ‘de plane’.
John

Reply to  John Whitman
December 12, 2014 12:27 pm

editorial correction; “laughing is his ass off ”
John

Mac the Knife
December 12, 2014 11:52 am

Warms the cockles of me heart, it does….

Anything is possible
December 12, 2014 11:59 am

Re-assuring to know that some things never change : The Grauniad’s proof-reading still operates at the same level of competence as its fact-checking.

David L.
December 12, 2014 12:02 pm

Peru is blaming Greenpeace for destroying one of the Nazca lines
http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/12/travel/greenpeace-nazca-lines-damage/index.html

Sophie
December 12, 2014 12:34 pm

The loss of ‘climate change,’ is not only unprecedented, it’s also catastrophic too and it’s a travesty that we can’t account for it. But I guess it’s pause for thought? Lots of pause in fact!

Yirgach
December 12, 2014 3:02 pm

Let’s Play Hide and Seek – You Don’t Care a Bit…

Goldie
December 12, 2014 3:03 pm

Surely that’s the role of the IPCC

Lil Fella from OZ
December 12, 2014 3:03 pm

Lost in space.

garymount
December 12, 2014 4:05 pm

I have been watching the 2010 movie Animals United that takes place during COP 192, and apparently only half a dozen people show up. By the way, that movie has got to be the worst animated movie in the history of the world.

u.k.(us)
December 12, 2014 5:14 pm

I’m sure our best minds are working on it, they’ll find it, even if they have to probe the depths of the oceans.
Its just gotta be somewhere.
It can run, but it can’t hide.

Bruce Cobb
Reply to  u.k.(us)
December 13, 2014 8:22 am

Yes indeed. They have “top men” working on it right now:

Perhaps a sequel is needed: “Raiders Of The Lost Climate”.

Dawtgtomis
December 12, 2014 6:12 pm

Great Caesar’s ghost, Clark!

Manfred
December 12, 2014 6:52 pm

Aren’t they still looking for the AWOL “hot-spot” in the tropical mid-troposphere? Kinda suggests the likelihood of finding ‘climate change’ by next year is not promising.

Keith
December 13, 2014 4:10 am

This is an opportunity for Hollywood warmists. Never mind “Find Nemo”, go for “Find Climate Change”

Dudley Horscroft
December 13, 2014 5:43 am

John Whitman December 12, 2014 at 11:24 am quoted:
{bold emphasis mine – JW}
“Reporter Suzanne Goldenberg (of the Guardian) in Lima said,
“The talks – scheduled to end at noon local time on Friday after 10 full days – are intended to provide a clear blueprint for a global agreement to find climate change by the end of next year.””
I am puzzled. Is a ‘clear blueprint’ a blue piece of paper with no white marks – or is it a white sheet of paper with no blue marks – totally clear? It is not clear to me.
Perhaps Mrs Goldenberg has been confused by reminiscences of “The Hunting of the Snark” –
“The Bell Mann himself they all praised to the skies—
Such a carriage, such ease and such grace!
Such solemnity, too! One could see he was wise,
The moment one looked in his face!
He had bought a large map representing the sea,
Without the least vestige of land:
And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
A map they could all understand.
“What’s the good of Mercator’s North Poles and Equators,
Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?”
So the Bell Mann would cry: and the crew would reply
“They are merely conventional signs!
“Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
But we’ve got our brave Captain to thank:”
(So the crew would protest) “that he’s bought us the best—
A perfect and absolute blank!””
With apologies to Professor Dodgson.

Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
December 13, 2014 6:43 am

Dudley Horscroft on December 13, 2014 at 5:43 am

Dudley Horscroft,
I loved your reference to Lewis Carroll’s (Dodgson’s) poem.
Clear blueprint, indeed food for thought.
: )
John

tom black
December 13, 2014 5:48 am

They changed it to: for a global agreement to fight climate change by the end of next year.
but no mention in the article a change was made, very unethical,1984 style of journalism.

Gunga Din
December 13, 2014 6:45 am

comment image
I wonder if putting “Climate Change” on a billion or so milk cartons is part of the blueprint?

Dean Bruckner
December 13, 2014 7:29 am

How about “Guardashian?”

Bill Parsons
December 13, 2014 2:04 pm

“Grauniad” also manages, with not much strain, to evoke Alexander Pope’s satirical masterpiece, “The Dunciad”, written in the 18th century to parody Grub Street scribblers of little talent. Says Wiki:
“The poem celebrates the goddess Dulness and the progress of her chosen agents as they bring decay, imbecility, and tastelessness to the Kingdom of Great Britain.”
The “-ad” suffix here means a work of an epic nature.. which, goes a long way, in the case of Ms. Goldenberg, towards explaining her epic search for climate, or climate change, or even her own hat, “by the end of the year.”

old44
December 13, 2014 2:28 pm

Point 6: Unstated but the moat important.
WE ALL GET TO GO TO PARIS NEXT YEAR.

Southpaw
December 13, 2014 10:02 pm

The offshoot of this article: Polar bears are going to have to learn how to dog paddle for a month each summer

David Cage
December 14, 2014 12:19 am

If you try to point out to the Guardian that the change is occurring all the time and within a lower than usual noise figure and is conforming to the long term (thousand year) pattern you will be banned from commenting.What is more the changes are regional and quite significant while the global average change is quite tiny. Both are however clearly cyclic to any trained in signal analysis rather than climate studies self glorified as climate science

Old Ranga
December 14, 2014 2:34 am

Delicious. Eat your heart out, John Cleese and the Pythons.

rtj1211
December 14, 2014 3:36 am

`On a point of accuracy, the typographical errors in the UK MSM have, in fact, been on the increase in the past 10 years, despite introduction of digital technologies. This is due to the cost-cutting era removing sub-editors and the assumptions that junior, relatively untrained staff, are capable of editing their own typing correctly.
You can see clearly where cut and paste/deleitions have taken place when half a sentence runs into a different half sentence. This is a daily occurrence at all the main MSM ‘broadsheets’ and shows that human error is not covered up satisfactorily by WP ‘semi-human computer programmes’.

Erik Christensen
December 14, 2014 5:27 am

Nancy Pelosi: “we have to find Climate Change to see what’s in it”

eyesonu
December 14, 2014 10:21 am

Oh where, oh where did my climate change go, oh where, oh where can it be
With it’s funds cut short and it’s peers exposed, oh where, oh where can it be

fretslider
December 15, 2014 4:22 am

Yes, for decades now the Guardian has been known as the Grauniad. But these days with its ever more leftwing slant, eg save Islam from the wicked west, it has be come known as the Groaniad.
Even more worrying is the tilt now being seen in the Telegraph. Yes, it is trying to out groan the Groan, as it were.

Doctor Gee
December 15, 2014 10:01 am

Ask Buckaroo Bonzai. Climate change is probably in the 8th dimension.

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