We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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kelly burgess
November 14, 2014 11:26 am

Planet Algore

Texcis
November 14, 2014 11:26 am

Manndora

Dioxide
November 14, 2014 11:26 am

The world as envisioned by the IPCC, Hansen and Mann should be called Hysteria

November 14, 2014 11:26 am

I saw that article, too. I wanted to comment, but there was no place for one.
Climatebabe Chelsea is just jumping on the bandwagon. She wants to be liked. Probably didn’t make the cut as a cheerleader in high school.
Anyway, I could have saved her a lot of typing: ‘The End Is Nigh.’ Simples.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:27 am

Planet Dearth of Truth

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:27 am

Pachauri

RJ
November 14, 2014 11:27 am

Mannhansenlew

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

Their Own Little World

Chris B
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

Crutopia?

milodonharlani
Reply to  Chris B
November 14, 2014 1:13 pm

!

Eustace Cranch
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

Errorth

HGW xx/7
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

All it takes is reading the title to know that this is indeed the hard-science we should be basing world-wide economic policy and social engineering on. Once they start showing them complex graphs where them orange bars jump from medium to the next level of medium…man, my head just starts to spin. I willingly submit to you, climatologists, my meek and unworthy brain as penance. Save us! Make the scary-colored graphs turn a soothing icy blue!

November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Planet ocean

November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Planet GIGO.

John Endicott
Reply to  sturgishooper
November 14, 2014 4:48 pm

+1 Fitting name

biff33
Reply to  sturgishooper
November 14, 2014 5:00 pm

Yes!

UE
Reply to  sturgishooper
November 22, 2014 2:12 pm

I like Planet GIGO
How about Planet FAUXGEO
Or maybe
PLANISFEAR
THERMONDE

Stephen Richards
November 14, 2014 11:30 am

For describing someone missing a grey cell or billion I always use Planet Zod. It’s close to earth but far enough away for the lunies to live on.

RJ
November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Planet Mirth

November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Sim Earth?

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:31 am

Thermophobia

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:31 am

Cannabis

Reply to  Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:00 pm

I like that.
Naming a planet GAGW after something which gives a distorted view of reality.

Dawtgtomis
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 11:09 pm

My new progressive bifocals give me more distortion than that ever did, i recall…

November 14, 2014 11:31 am

So all planets bear names of ancient world gods. So I’d say Dolos
http://www.theoi.com/Daimon/Dolos.html

Gary Hladik
Reply to  leftturnandre
November 14, 2014 11:41 am

Or maybe “Mendacium”? 🙂

Janice Moore
Reply to  Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 12:19 pm

lol, yes 🙂
lousy beggars… (grr)

milodonharlani
Reply to  Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 12:24 pm

IMO Gary refers to mendacity (from the Latin for untruthful) rather than mendicants (from the Latin for begging), but it works brilliantly both ways.

Janice Moore
Reply to  Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 12:43 pm

Yes, Mr. Harlani, I agree — your guess is the better one given the “a” vs. the “i.” Thanks for the affirmation… and the lesson.

Reply to  leftturnandre
November 15, 2014 1:33 am

That’s really a delightful one, but I’m afraid it requires an encyclopedia to be appreciated.

Gary Hladik
Reply to  Josualdo
November 16, 2014 5:23 pm

Got “Mendacium” it from leftturnandre’s reference for “Dolos”.

Catherine Ronconi
November 14, 2014 11:31 am

Planet Terrda.

Eustace Cranch
November 14, 2014 11:32 am

Planet WTF-97

Alberta Slim
Reply to  Eustace Cranch
November 14, 2014 12:52 pm

Good one. My choice

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:32 am

Planet X, Y or Z, depending on the excuse needed.

Janice Moore
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

Along the lines of a computer game little kids like to play, SimCity (where the people all turn red when you forget to put enough elevators in your apartment buildings and stuff like that)
SimEarth
Ad slogan: “Not realistic, BUT tons of fun to play! Design fake buildings. Fool your friends — tell them you are a real engineer.”
Not recommended for children under the age of 3.

Michael in Sydney
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

vegas – I haven’t seen that much risk of bad things happening since I visited a casino.

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

Markeyville