We always talk about and are lectured to about how “weather is not climate”. Of course that’s a flexible meme, because now when the weather turns hot or bad, climate is to blame.
I had to go to Walmart today to pick up something, and as I walked down the aisles looking for things, this jumped out at me. Unfortunately, it was so ridiculous, it made me laugh out loud, and I got stares. So, I’m sharing this humor with you.
I suppose it was only a matter of time before some enterprising company did this.
http://www.tresemme.com/Products/Climate-Control/Climate-Control-Shampoo/
Gotta love that “defend your hair against bad weather” line. Now even when CO2 or weather modification driven hordes of tornadoes descend upon us in retaliation for our climate sins, we can avoid bad hair days.
Of course, shampoo only goes so far. They need “climate control body spray” to really be effective. /sarc
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Now if only there was an IRS equivalent. I’d like to wash that lot out of my hair.
As used by 97% of scientists
Shopping at Walmart, huh?
But 97% of us prefer Dollar General, cause you don’t have to, like, get all dressed up and everything.
Craig W. says:
May 18, 2013 at 4:24 pm
“[…] They also sell the conditioner, finishing spray and mousse. The mousse is not well reviewed because people seem to have a hard time getting it out of the can.”
I’ve had tinned corned beef from Argentina and I didn’t have any problem with it.
They have a whole team:
– shampoo
– conditionner
– mousse
– finisher
Sounds like a lark.
Last year, on an overcast and drizzly, 50 deg F Seattle grey day in northern Virginia, I was wearing my old Helly Hansen parka. The clerk at the drug store recognized the logo, which surprised me, and told me she had just given her daughter an HH bikini for an upcoming Caribbean cruise. I thought she was joking until I looked it up. Yup. Helly Hansen sells swimsuits now. That positions them for sales for any climate.
Unilever has not produced MSDS (chemical safey sheet) for the products. They’ll be in trouble with EPA/FDA/…..
Mikey will never buy the product. However, I think TRESemme missed a bet. Its advertisement should not only claim that the product protects your hair against bad climate, but also that the product is “climate friendly” in that it will protect the environment from your hair. MIkey would buy that.
I shave my head. Problem solved.
“Hilarious.”
Yes a good round of laughs. But there is a dark side.
“How about sending Mike Mann a bottle with next year’s calendar ?”
I would advice against that.
Observations, and ongoing, are suggesting that giving Michael E. Mann such a substance would prompt him to do this:
Enter a few milligrams of the ‘shampoo’ into a tablespoon.
Use as Bic lighter to heat the tablespoon from below.
With plastic straws inserted into his nostrils Michael E. Mann inhales strongly to capture the refined ‘narcotics’ to the mucus and then to the blood stream and then to the brain.
Mr. Michael E. Mann will repeat this many times in the … ‘session.’
In the 1950’s ‘glue sniffing’ was a popular way to get ‘high.’ The practice was and is very common along the Appalachia and Pennsylvanian communities of the USA.
A sad epitaph for a Mr. Michael E. Mann.
Have a look: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inhalant_abuse
[Shampoo … Ah …] That Smell … Can You Smell That Smell … The Smell of Death Is All Around You!
Janice Moore says: May 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm
@Gunga Din, maybe it’s an oldy but I had never heard it and it is definitely a goody. LOL. Yeah, no nasty CHEMICALS.
Ingredients:
water, sodium lauryl sulfate, cocamidopropyl betaine, ammonium chloride, sodium laureth sulfate, fragrance, hydrolyzed collagen, dmdm hydantoin, citric acid, tetrasodium edta, benzyl salicylate, butylphenyl methylpropianal, linalool, yellow 5, red 40, sodium chloride, polysorbate 20, blue 1, tocopheryl acetate, panthenol, ascorbic acid, niacinimide, biotin.
But No carbon dioxide. I haven’t checked the mousse.
“Now all we need is a breath mint that neutralizes our CO2, and an antacid is gets rid of the methane.”
Reminds me of a Mark Twain bon mot:
Someone: “Do you realize that every time I exhale some poor soul departs this world?”
Twain: “Really? Have you tried chewing cloves?”
Goode ’nuff says:
Michael Mann made a deal with the… spiritual world. He traded his hair for brains. Folks here think that’s a raw deal.
Well I don’t know if that’s a true story but if it is he must have been half bald to start with or he got short-changed in the deal: he only seems to got been given half a brain.
Thinking about it, there seem to be a lot of half brained, half bald climatologists, maybe they all tried to cut the same deal and got burnt.
Keith Sketchley says:
May 18, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Eagles killed by wind turbines don’t need to be reported so this company probably won’t have to submit an MSDS.
Hey, maybe a whole series of regulation-free industries will grow up around products that simply begin with the name “Climate”…
Climate Lager
Climate Marijuana
Climate PCBs
Climate Coal
Climate Asbestos
Climate Tobacco
Climate Nuclear
Climate IRS
Climate Banking
Climate Politics
Climate Gasoline
Climate Fracking
Climate Hockey Sticks.
I think I’m onto something marketable here!
It’s not just shampoo, either.
From Ulta, we can get this: “… Big Sexy Hair Weather Proof Humidity Resistant Spray is a high-performance humidity resistant spray that promises to leave your hairstyles intact, removing any chance of humidity attacking mishaps…”
Maybe they can get Jim Cantore as a new spokesman: “Extreme weatherman Jim Cantore reveals the latest in storm survival to help you prep for the unexpected”
Amazing, and its obvious there are no climate scientists here. !!
A climate scientist would immediately be asking:
what’s the pay grade,?
can I get it through a grant..?
how much is the subsidy.?
RockyRoad says:
I think I’m onto something marketable here.
How about
“Climate Change Undies”
Keeps you dry even as the sea level rises !!
Or call it “Climate Climate”, Andy, and we won’t have to worry about a thing.
At least they are proposing adaptation.
You don’t need it if you come from a place that doesn’t have climate.
Imma have me some more Climate Change Soda, though, now with even more CO2.
Use the shampoo, go up to Michael Mann and tell him- “I have controlled the climate by using this shampoo.” He will respond by saying that the very notion that shampoo can control climate is garbage, to which you will reply-“so is the notion that CO2 can control the climate.”
Talking about climate control products, I have a large set of hockey stick shaped cocktail swizzle sticks and hockey stick shaped cocktail spikes for entertaining climate realist friends. If you are in Australia, you can borrow them for your functions. To be in keeping with green principles, they can be washed in the dishwasher. They were made with recycled materials as well!
Other products that should make their way to market:- Climate change anti perspirant CFC free) , Climate change air conditioning system , Climate change underwear (specials available in Green) , Climate change cocktail – a cool blend of Malibu, dark rum, Lychee liqueur, kiwi syrup(optional-gives nice colour), mint, lime juice,shaken with lots of fresh glacier ice from Greenland , topped with soda and a little bit of blue curacao for cute colour and aniseed aftertaste. For added effect, serve with dry ice. Serve with hockey stick swizzle stick. Take (as with all climate change related stuff) with a pinch of salt.
@Pamela Gray
May 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm
The next wave of climate change inspired toiletries and clothes will soon hit stores near you. Climate controlled outer wear. Climate controlled underwear.
*************************************************************************************
You might jest, Pamela, but less than 3 weeks ago on the BBC (what a bunch of eco/wackos) they had an item about Sheffield and its “greening”, including an interview with a Professor of Eco Bollox who stated that we should all be wearing clothes specially treated to extract Nitric Oxide from the atmosphere. He claimed that the jeans he was wearing could do this (I did check the date and, very surprisingly, it was not 1st April – maybe the broadcast was a repeat? Plenty of those on the Biased Broadcasting Corp).
The nutty professor then went on to say that walls and roads should also be painted with this stuff, to suck the horribleness from the air. They featured a wall around a school playground (for god’s sake think of the children, etc) which had been “treated”. It looked a bit green (in the literal sense, due to incipient mossy stuff) and I thought “Yes, somebody has scammed the council nicely, there”
And, laugh my arse off, about a week later, on another news item, I am sure that some study has declared that we actually need more sunshine (not half, in this bloody country) as it stimulates the production of nitric oxide in the body…..
Sigh…..
So it can’t be long before someone introduces food that helps neutralise all that excess co2 that we all breath in everyday due to naughty mankind.
Chocolate that helps your body defend itself against co2 perhaps. The manufacturer can no doubt charge a price premium for it.
As the saying goes, ‘you cannot legislate against stupidity’.
Hey it could spread to other bathroom products
The product for those times when you just can’t quite reach the sponge.
An Inconvenient Loofah !