I’m going to take a diversion to write about a local story that’s been brewing for months. It’s long and a bit like a Sherlock Holmes mystery, bear with me.

Some WUWT readers have noted that my town Chico, CA has been well known for a few “crazy” things. Some people call it “Berkeley North”. There’s a t-shirt you can buy at the Made in Chico store that says “Chico: Where the Nuts Come From“. This pun speaks to the agricultural base around the community, which produces high quality nuts such as almonds, pistachios, and walnuts. There’s a lot of nut orchards here.
There’s also Chico State University, where there is a large sustainability group. They like to try out all sorts of new ideas on the townspeople, putting our tax dollars to work. Chico also has the dubious honor of having one of the most inane laws in the USA, you may have heard about it.

Chico has a city ordinance preventing storing or testing of a nuclear device within city limits, punishable by a $1000 fine and jail time. At left, here’s a newspaper clipping from 1983 talking about how it came to be. City municipal code section 9.60, Ordinance 1564 §2 says:
The city council finds and declares as follows:
A. That the possibility of nuclear war is a clear and present danger that threatens not only the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of the Chico community, but also their very existence.
B. That the use of nuclear weapons in the event of war, whether for the purpose of self defense or any other purpose, is totally unacceptable.
C. That even participation in preparation against nuclear war is inappropriate in that it lends credence to the belief that such a war is survivable when in fact it is not.
D. That by reason of the foregoing, the interest of the citizens of the Chico community will be best served by making the city a nuclear free zone in which the production, testing, maintenance, and storage of nuclear weapons and nuclear weapons delivery systems is prohibited and in which the appropriation or use of city funds or property for participation in or preparation against nuclear war is also prohibited.
…
No person shall produce, test, maintain, or store within the city a nuclear weapon, component of a nuclear weapon, nuclear weapon delivery system, or component of a nuclear weapon delivery system. (Ord. 1564 §2 (part))
So, almonds and walnuts aside, it goes without saying that my town is a little, er, “nutty”. On the plus side, it has worked so far, and there’s no nukes going off or kids experimenting with nuclear reactors in their basement that I know of in the town. Though, it appears that I myself am a danger to the town, as a member of the Chico Peace and Justice Center once labeled me as a WMD.
I mentioned that Chico State University has a large sustainability group that tries to impose all sorts of experimental ideas on local citizens.They are so gung-ho about this, they now observe earth month and fly Earth Flags around town every April on city owned streetlight poles:

What’s this got to do with the fire department? Bear with me, there’s a lot of backstory.
About three years ago I was asked by my local city councilman Larry Wahl to serve on the city of Chico “sustainability task force”. I accepted. More on the whole thing here.
The task force came into being when Vice Mayor Ann Schwab, along with a majority of the City Council, voted in favor of signing on to the U.S. Conference of Mayors Climate Protection Agreement. This was something championed by Portland’s big green mayor.
Because energy efficiency is something I embrace, especially when tax dollars are involved, I was initially enthusiastic. But, the talk soon turned away from alternative energy solutions, to getting a city wide inventory of carbon emissions. The task force didn’t seem the least bit interested in solutions, but focused on tallying carbon emissions in town. That effort didn’t make a lot of sense to me then, since it gained the city nothing.
Now I know why. The “greenhouse gas” report they issued on September 2nd of 2008 had a number of oddball fees, taxes, giveaways, and edicts, such as a city wide gasoline tax, and even free electricity handouts to city employees for sustainable commuting. All of this while we are in an economic downturn and in a city financial crisis.
Link: cic-sustainability-090208
Let’s look at some of the suggested “community reduction” actions in this report presented by Schwab and her sustainability task force:
- A suggestion to pay city employees to give up their parking spot.
- Require energy audits on residential units at the time of sale.
- Increased fees on waste disposal.
- A local gasoline tax to generate local revenue.
- Forcing a lights out policy on local businesses after hours
- Free electricity and free parking for city employees that drive electric vehicles
- Free or reduced cost electricity and parking for citizens that drive electric vehicles
You can find these items in Appendix C of the report, near the end under “Community Reduction Measures” which are designed to meet a carbon emissions target.
But wait, there’s more. We had a big stink over the proposal for our local Wal-Mart to expand and it almost tore the town apart. It bled over into many things. Right in the middle of the big fight at the council chambers over the use of wood stoves and fireplaces councilman Scott Gruendl tried one of those “sustainability experiments” on the townspeople.
His suggestion was, that as a condition of approval, Wal-Mart be required to put down a million smackeroos to buy new low pollution efficient wood stoves for local residents as a way to fix our wintertime air pollution problem. Mayor Schwab piled on with demands that Wal-Mart be solar powered. Suggestions of extortion were raised. Needless to say they were both almost laughed out of town and Wal-Mart told them nicely, “no”.
Given these sorts of things that come out of our university influenced city government, it was no surprise to me then when about two months ago I heard a rumor in my local coffee shop, about some upcoming change to our fire protection system.
It seemed that there was a plan afoot to change out the fire hydrants in town. I asked around, but nobody seemed to know what it was about. All I heard was that it was in the planning stage and it had to do with water waste.
There’s been lots of changes in our town infrastructure recently. Our green city council has added roundabouts to minimize traffic jams and idling vehicles, a good thing, and they work well. There’s also the not so popular “street bulbing” as a way to discourage vehicle traffic downtown. Many of these projects replaced other surrounding infrastructure such as sidewalks and sewers too.
So changing fire hydrants? I figured it had something to do with all that. Maybe some new model that keeps kids from doing stuff like this and wasting water?
Or maybe some sort of beautification/irrigation project?
Or art project? Chico is big on art.
Or maybe it was some sort of system that was better designed so that the city no longer had to regularly flush the hydrant system, wasting millions of gallons of water each year in a La Nina driven drought stricken state?
Or maybe it was something simpler. I could see a better designed hydrant that prevented slow leakage, like this “soylent green” fire hydrant?
I was intrigued by this idea. What could it be?
Fire hydrants aren’t really high on the list of city improvements. People hardly notice them, except when they get a ticket for parking in front of one. I thought maybe it had to do with saving money, since our city is financially broke, and salaries and benefits (including firefighters) have become a big issue the last couple of years.
I asked around. I asked people at the Rotary club. Nobody knew. I asked our local newspaper editor, David Little, who said he’d “sniff around”. He came up with nothing. I asked our local city government blogger, Lon Glazner, if he had heard anything. Lon’s got moles in the city offices that tell him things, secret things, and he’s scooped local media more than once on city issues that they’d rather not talk about. He couldn’t find anything either.
Yet the guy at the coffee shop swore he’d seen a draft plan to replace fire hydrants in town, and he only knew about it because one of his relatives worked for the fire department. He said they were pretty steamed about it.
I asked a council member. He didn’t know but said he’d look into it. I even asked somebody who was running for council, Mark Sorensen, one of the sharpest guys I know. He hadn’t heard anything either but also said he’d ask around.
I was stumped.
Then I thought, ya know, maybe this has something to do with sustainability. So I asked one of our local sustainability gurus. Yep he’d heard about it. In fact, he pointed me to the document that had the specs.
Remember when I mentioned the City Council voted in favor of signing on to the U.S. Conference of Mayors Climate Protection Agreement which had its roots in Portland?
Turns out there’s a spec for sustainable fire hydrants.
That’s right, the City of Chico is going to replace all of the standard fire hydrants with “low flow” fire hydrants in an effort to save water and money while at the same time being “sustainable”.
Where could they get such a crazy idea?








Can not believe those hydrants!. BTW, in the US TV we see that you worry very much about a VAT (value added tax), fuels taxes, etc….well, I live in a country where we pay19% VAT, VAT and a special tax for fuel, 30% income tax-flat-. The 97 octanes gas has a price of more than US$5.- per gallon and, believe me, you get used to it. In such a future dream world you wont´t have universal health care ( it does not work) and anything free; of course no deficits at all and the country has more savings than debts, total free market, FTA´s with several countries, and, last but not least, almost no unions as the 46% of the GDP corresponds to personal, micro, small and medium enterprises.
Green policies being promoted by a known international bank but regarded as something we have to live with, endure it, and not taking it seriously.
Here if the government issues a bill and it does not make sense everybody just forget it and in due time it dissolves into the void.
Why all this? Because all political systems have been tested here in the past and we are already “vaccinated” against what simply does not work. You need to pass the test, though I would say instead, enjoy the test, got the fever, ruin your country and only then, as happened to many countries in the past, to learn by the experience.
Having worked in the comercial nuclear power industry for more than 35 yrs and having stopped in Chico for gas very often for >25year on my way up to Burney to fly fish the Pit river . . . I never knew that I probably wasn’t very welcome there.
Now I will make a point of mentioning my profession every time I stop there!
Ha Ha Ha.
John
http://FireHydrant.org/
http://www.firehydrant.org/pictures/pdxcolor.html
I bet they’d seriously consider banning Diydrogen Monoxide.
Takoma Park, Maryland, just north of Washington, DC, has been a nuclear free zone since 1983. Keeping our national legislators safe from destruction, but unfortunately not destructiveness.
A Superstorm for Global Warming Research
Plagued by reports of sloppy work, falsifications and exaggerations, climate research is facing a crisis of confidence. How reliable are the predictions about global warming and its consequences?
…
Jones, in his written correspondence with colleagues, all of them leading members of the climate research community, does not come across as an objective scientist, but rather as an activist or missionary who views “his” data as his personal shrine and is intent on protecting it from the critical eyes of his detractors.
An Entire Branch of Science in Crisis
The Climategate affair is grist for the mills of skeptics, who have gained growing support for their cause, particularly in English-speaking countries. What began with hacked emails in the United Kingdom has mushroomed into a crisis affecting an entire scientific discipline.
http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,686697,00.html
Darn! My blood pressure was going through the top of my head – and then I read the first comment. Well written: I bet more got taken in than are willing to admit it because you set up the story excellently, and there is nothing so ridiculous that environmental extremists won’t support it if they think it will ‘save’ the environment. And I thought I was too savvy to be taken in today.
One of those : “It seemed like a good idea at the time” moments.
As a gesture to show their commitment to sustainability the very first wave of these “low flow” hydrants should be placed in front of the houses of whoever votes for them.
REPLY: It’s an April Fools joke. Everything in the article is true, except for the low flow fire hydrants part. See the tag “satire” and the date 4-1-10. – Anthony
hahaha this was worth reading to the bitter end! great story, i wish i could say “cool story bro” but I know it’s true 🙁
that’s okay, i if i had to take a hydrant like that i would just get some suction going and see how many gpm i could suck out of the water system 😉
PaulH (05:40:10) :
I think the pump handle is missing from low-flow hydrant. ;->
Paul, where do I send bill for coffee sprayed over my monitor and keyboard?
good one!!
A few years ago when CA had one of its wildfire episodes, I read a story about a fellow who lived in a remote area, and owned a bulldozer. As the fire approached, he wanted to clear a fire break in the desert brush around his property but was threatened with a crippling judgement from the state….. because they said he would threaten the “habitat” of some desert rodent who’s name I can’t remember.
Anthony, I was born in Chico, at Enloe hospital, and lived around the area, at one point, near Juan Corona in the orchards of Live Oak. Didn’t find out about him until a few decades later. Besides, I was 2.
This is spoiling my fond memories of endless orchards and the sweet smell of fruit in the summertime…
You got me, Mr. Watts. Excellent set-up. Still didn’t know until I read the first comment (thanks to Joe). But as a long-time North Valley resident and graduate of Chico State I am concerned that people who read this as an April Fool’s joke might think the Nuclear-Free Zone part is a joke, too — it isn’t. Welcome to Chico!
OK.
I have a confession.
After reading this report, I have come to the conclusion that I was wrong and there should no longer be any questions about the validity of ANY scientific research that shows that we are causing global warming. None. No questions. Teleconnections is real. Stripbark Bristlecone Pines are a perfect temperature proxy. Any statistical method that can show there was no Medieval Warm Period must be used to show it, even if it’s never been used in such fashion. Climate models MUST ALWAYS be trusted. The decline was not hidden, just misplaced. Everything Al Gore says is 100% true and accurate.
Man-Made Global Warming is REAL people!
We Are Killing The Planet!
There is NO DOUBT!
Don’t question anything!
The Science IS Settled!!!!!!
So I’m leaving the WUWT community, and will never be coming back. I will miss many of you, but, I can no longer hang out with a bunch of deniers. I’m cleaning up my image.
So long…. and thanks for all the fish.
… Oh, and I drink my urine. It’s healthy.
I just noticed it was truly an april fools joke….. something like this is totally believable today…. laugh now, and next year it will probably be on the docket.
I suppose a real low flow fire hydrant would have a meter installed to measure water volume consumed and to provide the local taxing official this data for taxing the nearby neighboring property for its unsustainable short term use.
Heh… good one.
But something to consider: I spent a few years in our local Vol FD. At the time, in my district we were averaging 1200 to 1300 calls a year. (which is why we eventually went to a “paid” system). For particularly nasty fires where you need as much water as possible, the operation would require a unit to do “Hydrassist” if the water pressure was too low. Essentially, a pumper would be staged at the hydrant and literally suck the water out of it and feed it up the 5″ line to the scene of the fire for the other pumpers to then pump to the hoses and monitors. (FYI, that large 4-way gate valve on the large line at the back of some pumpers is the valve used for this purpose)
On more than one occasion the county has had to replace water heaters that imploded/crumpled from that sort of activity.
In the 1970s The Guardian published a story about the first atomic bomb test in Los Alamos, NM.
The town seems to have fared remarkably well for having been the location of a nuclear detonation. Also surprising is that the scientists chose to nuke themselves and their families.
How about atomic energy out in the garden shed?
http://www.dangerouslaboratories.org/radscout.html
“….The mantle in gas lanterns, the small cloth pouch over the flame, is coated with a compound containing thorium-232. When bombarded with neutrons it produces uranium-233, which is fissionable. David bought thousands of lantern mantles from surplus stores and blowtorched them into a pile of ash…….
Anthony: It appears that the Chico government is overly generous to its employees. Is Chico in the same sort of financial condition as Vallejo? If so, Chapter 9 of the Bankruptcy laws is always a remedy.
REPLY: Yep, same problem. -A
Chico is also known by being “Chico-ed”. Basically an episode of Becker had the local phone company putting a phony charge on his phone bill to Chico.
I wonder if residents will love low flow when their house catches on fire? Just think of all that CO2 polution from each house fire.
Uh… huh… And are those low-flow hydrants to combat the new, slow-burning, low-temperature fires that they’ve also got planned?
You know, the ones typically set on a nice, sunny APRIL FOOLS!!! day? 🙂
But I gotta admit, we’ve seen so many bad ideas presented and promoted over the years that it seemed like a plausible story. I almost believed it!
OK, hook, line & sinker!
It’s just too plausable.
What was no joke was the Butte Complex Fires of 2008 that burned 65,000 acres, cost $90 million in suppression alone, and burned down 50 homes in Paradise, Concow, and other towns adjacent to Chico. Massive evacuations were necessary, highways were closed, and the hospitals were overwhelmed with smoke inhalation victims. There was at least one death, but probably more due to smoke-related heart failures. It took a month and a half and a dozen fire agencies from around the state to contain the fires.
Chico is not an island. What happens around Chico affects Chico. If the city leaders were smart, they would pay attention to fire prevention issues thoughout Butte County.