I’m going to take a diversion to write about a local story that’s been brewing for months. It’s long and a bit like a Sherlock Holmes mystery, bear with me.

Some WUWT readers have noted that my town Chico, CA has been well known for a few “crazy” things. Some people call it “Berkeley North”. There’s a t-shirt you can buy at the Made in Chico store that says “Chico: Where the Nuts Come From“. This pun speaks to the agricultural base around the community, which produces high quality nuts such as almonds, pistachios, and walnuts. There’s a lot of nut orchards here.
There’s also Chico State University, where there is a large sustainability group. They like to try out all sorts of new ideas on the townspeople, putting our tax dollars to work. Chico also has the dubious honor of having one of the most inane laws in the USA, you may have heard about it.

Chico has a city ordinance preventing storing or testing of a nuclear device within city limits, punishable by a $1000 fine and jail time. At left, here’s a newspaper clipping from 1983 talking about how it came to be. City municipal code section 9.60, Ordinance 1564 §2 says:
The city council finds and declares as follows:
A. That the possibility of nuclear war is a clear and present danger that threatens not only the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of the Chico community, but also their very existence.
B. That the use of nuclear weapons in the event of war, whether for the purpose of self defense or any other purpose, is totally unacceptable.
C. That even participation in preparation against nuclear war is inappropriate in that it lends credence to the belief that such a war is survivable when in fact it is not.
D. That by reason of the foregoing, the interest of the citizens of the Chico community will be best served by making the city a nuclear free zone in which the production, testing, maintenance, and storage of nuclear weapons and nuclear weapons delivery systems is prohibited and in which the appropriation or use of city funds or property for participation in or preparation against nuclear war is also prohibited.
…
No person shall produce, test, maintain, or store within the city a nuclear weapon, component of a nuclear weapon, nuclear weapon delivery system, or component of a nuclear weapon delivery system. (Ord. 1564 §2 (part))
So, almonds and walnuts aside, it goes without saying that my town is a little, er, “nutty”. On the plus side, it has worked so far, and there’s no nukes going off or kids experimenting with nuclear reactors in their basement that I know of in the town. Though, it appears that I myself am a danger to the town, as a member of the Chico Peace and Justice Center once labeled me as a WMD.
I mentioned that Chico State University has a large sustainability group that tries to impose all sorts of experimental ideas on local citizens.They are so gung-ho about this, they now observe earth month and fly Earth Flags around town every April on city owned streetlight poles:

What’s this got to do with the fire department? Bear with me, there’s a lot of backstory.
About three years ago I was asked by my local city councilman Larry Wahl to serve on the city of Chico “sustainability task force”. I accepted. More on the whole thing here.
The task force came into being when Vice Mayor Ann Schwab, along with a majority of the City Council, voted in favor of signing on to the U.S. Conference of Mayors Climate Protection Agreement. This was something championed by Portland’s big green mayor.
Because energy efficiency is something I embrace, especially when tax dollars are involved, I was initially enthusiastic. But, the talk soon turned away from alternative energy solutions, to getting a city wide inventory of carbon emissions. The task force didn’t seem the least bit interested in solutions, but focused on tallying carbon emissions in town. That effort didn’t make a lot of sense to me then, since it gained the city nothing.
Now I know why. The “greenhouse gas” report they issued on September 2nd of 2008 had a number of oddball fees, taxes, giveaways, and edicts, such as a city wide gasoline tax, and even free electricity handouts to city employees for sustainable commuting. All of this while we are in an economic downturn and in a city financial crisis.
Link: cic-sustainability-090208
Let’s look at some of the suggested “community reduction” actions in this report presented by Schwab and her sustainability task force:
- A suggestion to pay city employees to give up their parking spot.
- Require energy audits on residential units at the time of sale.
- Increased fees on waste disposal.
- A local gasoline tax to generate local revenue.
- Forcing a lights out policy on local businesses after hours
- Free electricity and free parking for city employees that drive electric vehicles
- Free or reduced cost electricity and parking for citizens that drive electric vehicles
You can find these items in Appendix C of the report, near the end under “Community Reduction Measures” which are designed to meet a carbon emissions target.
But wait, there’s more. We had a big stink over the proposal for our local Wal-Mart to expand and it almost tore the town apart. It bled over into many things. Right in the middle of the big fight at the council chambers over the use of wood stoves and fireplaces councilman Scott Gruendl tried one of those “sustainability experiments” on the townspeople.
His suggestion was, that as a condition of approval, Wal-Mart be required to put down a million smackeroos to buy new low pollution efficient wood stoves for local residents as a way to fix our wintertime air pollution problem. Mayor Schwab piled on with demands that Wal-Mart be solar powered. Suggestions of extortion were raised. Needless to say they were both almost laughed out of town and Wal-Mart told them nicely, “no”.
Given these sorts of things that come out of our university influenced city government, it was no surprise to me then when about two months ago I heard a rumor in my local coffee shop, about some upcoming change to our fire protection system.
It seemed that there was a plan afoot to change out the fire hydrants in town. I asked around, but nobody seemed to know what it was about. All I heard was that it was in the planning stage and it had to do with water waste.
There’s been lots of changes in our town infrastructure recently. Our green city council has added roundabouts to minimize traffic jams and idling vehicles, a good thing, and they work well. There’s also the not so popular “street bulbing” as a way to discourage vehicle traffic downtown. Many of these projects replaced other surrounding infrastructure such as sidewalks and sewers too.
So changing fire hydrants? I figured it had something to do with all that. Maybe some new model that keeps kids from doing stuff like this and wasting water?
Or maybe some sort of beautification/irrigation project?
Or art project? Chico is big on art.
Or maybe it was some sort of system that was better designed so that the city no longer had to regularly flush the hydrant system, wasting millions of gallons of water each year in a La Nina driven drought stricken state?
Or maybe it was something simpler. I could see a better designed hydrant that prevented slow leakage, like this “soylent green” fire hydrant?
I was intrigued by this idea. What could it be?
Fire hydrants aren’t really high on the list of city improvements. People hardly notice them, except when they get a ticket for parking in front of one. I thought maybe it had to do with saving money, since our city is financially broke, and salaries and benefits (including firefighters) have become a big issue the last couple of years.
I asked around. I asked people at the Rotary club. Nobody knew. I asked our local newspaper editor, David Little, who said he’d “sniff around”. He came up with nothing. I asked our local city government blogger, Lon Glazner, if he had heard anything. Lon’s got moles in the city offices that tell him things, secret things, and he’s scooped local media more than once on city issues that they’d rather not talk about. He couldn’t find anything either.
Yet the guy at the coffee shop swore he’d seen a draft plan to replace fire hydrants in town, and he only knew about it because one of his relatives worked for the fire department. He said they were pretty steamed about it.
I asked a council member. He didn’t know but said he’d look into it. I even asked somebody who was running for council, Mark Sorensen, one of the sharpest guys I know. He hadn’t heard anything either but also said he’d ask around.
I was stumped.
Then I thought, ya know, maybe this has something to do with sustainability. So I asked one of our local sustainability gurus. Yep he’d heard about it. In fact, he pointed me to the document that had the specs.
Remember when I mentioned the City Council voted in favor of signing on to the U.S. Conference of Mayors Climate Protection Agreement which had its roots in Portland?
Turns out there’s a spec for sustainable fire hydrants.
That’s right, the City of Chico is going to replace all of the standard fire hydrants with “low flow” fire hydrants in an effort to save water and money while at the same time being “sustainable”.
Where could they get such a crazy idea?








So if the Iranians launch a nuke on Chico they’re liable for a $1000 fine?
Anthony Watts WMD
Weather Man Diva????
Scientists admit global warming is a hoax!!!
In an unprecedented move Wednesday, the Norwegian Nobel Committee rescinded the Peace Prize it awarded in 2007 to former US vice president Al Gore and the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, amid overwhelming evidence that global warming is an elaborate hoax cooked up by Mr. Gore.
“I am deeply ashamed for having unwittingly perpetuated such a massive fraud on the governments of the world,” said Mr. Pachauri.
“I have to admit, Al got me good,” said Mr. Hansen as he packed up his personal belongings at his office at the Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York. “Despite my decades of experience in climate modeling and satellite meteorology, I would just get mesmerized whenever he started showing me all those fancy charts and tables. The man is a real Svengali.”
http://tinyurl.com/yget5ms
SSam (09:47:37) :
1300 calls is a LOT.
I engineer on VFD in a town of about 600. We only get about 100-150 calls- some of those are the usual fish hooks in thumbs and snowmobile crashes, but we usually get several wildland and 2-3 structure fires a year.
Never collapsed any water heaters but but we do set off alarms at the PUD on occasion – “Hey, the water’s flowing the wrong way!” 😉
I used to sell “Pet Rocks” (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) in Chico. Which kinda dates me, but WTH.
I’d go out to a creek bed and pick up 20-30 lbs of rounded pebbles, stick ’em in a $0.50 box and sell the things for $10.
I love morons.
That fire hydrant looks as though a skateboard would take it out.
But be of good cheer. Fire is the natural catalyst releases the seedlings of new homes.
Could lead to a building boom./
Anthony,
I think that you should submit this story to The Onion. It’s that good!
Ok, that was real good. :>)
Thanks Anthony
No, no, no. . . China can’t have Kansas.
Tho I am reminded of the exasperated prayer of one American statesman about the founding of modern Israel –“Why couldn’t God have promised them North Dakota?”
BREAKING NEWS: China to Buy Kansas
What are they gonna do, take it home with them?
I was at a “Sustainable Building” meeting now being a Realtor, but a former
Airtanker Pilot, the speaker extolled the virtues of Shake roof construction as sustainable. Arrrgh! Oh and don’t get me started about the “Australian Gasoline”
Trees..
As a Chico resident, I can verify that everything in the post is true, except for the fire hydrant issue. As Anthony said, Chico is in some respects a “Berkeley north”.
We already have “energy audits on residential units at the time of sale” around here. They grade the house in energy efficiency from A+ to G, just like a refrigerator. Cost: 270 euros per certificate. And you must climb at least one energy class every ten years, even when other regulations (forbidden to install solar heating panels in historical centers) don’t allow it.
I”m pretty sure I’ve seen some of those in Davis.
4-1 thing, well written Anthony!
4-real, hope you and mods had a good one.
Well Chico is not so far out of whack as you think.
I believe that all of New Zealand is a nuclear free zone, and you can’t have nukes there either.
It used to be that there was a mutual defence treaty/pact called SEATO, or South East Asian Treaty Organisation; which was basically the USA, Australia, and New Zealand co-operating both Navally and otherwise in defence, in that part of the world.
As you can see, none of those three countries has any conenction to South East Asia, so I don’t know how they got that name.
Well then some crackpot NZ politician got the idea that he could get a win in a national election by declaring NZ to be a nuke free zone; and that got him elected to PM.
So then he asked the US NAvy to tell him if any of their ships visiting NZ carried Nuclear weapons or materials; something which the US Navy doesn’t tell anybody.
I guess the PM was worried that some US Navy garbage scow, might be docking in NZ to offload some garbage; for ecological disposal, rather than ocean dumping; and there might be some old paper towels that had been used to polish the nuclear reactor on some aircraft Carrier.
So the US said can’t say, and NZ said no come here. You see they were concerned that while the scow was offloading the radio-warm towels, the Russians might take advantage of the situation, and launvh a missile from Siberia to zap the garbage scow, while it was stationary at the Kiwi Dock.
That was just too scary to contemplate for Kiwis. I tried to tell them that I live about 2 1/2 miles from the Blue Cube, in Sunnyvale, which is ground zero for Numero Uno Russian ICBM; and that every month I spend a few naonoseconds worrying about being in the target zone; so they shouldn’t worry about Russian IHBMs (Inter-Hemispherics Ballistic Missiles).
The result was NZ got kicked out of SEATO; and eventually the politician got kicked out of office.
So anti-nuke zones are serious business.
Did I mention that Ernest Rutherford; aka Lord Rutherford; who discovered the nucleus of the atom (sort of) was a New Zealander.
So Kiwis helped let the evils out of Pandora’s box in the first place.
But I still do worry about that Blue Cube sitting there in Sunnyvale.
PS: Nukes or No, when push comes to shove we’ll still be there along with you Yanks; we kinda believe in the same things.
I have never understood why fire hydrants have to stick up in the air where they are a nuisance and get knocked over.
Why not simply have the hydrant under a lid in the footpath, as we do here in New Zealand:
http://i40.tinypic.com/20hvwwi.jpg
F.H. means Fire Hydrant!
Your city council is obviously afraid of eagle scouts, which is actually understandable.
http://www.dangerouslaboratories.org/radscout.html
On the other hand my hypothesis is that city councils, provincial assemblies and middle management are good for the human race. Some people are so hung up on power that they will do anything to get it. The most dangerous are those who are so appalling that they can just manage to get themselves promoted to middle management or elected to council, thereafter to make life misery for all around them.
Which is better than if they organised a putsch and took control of us all.
Douglas DC: “Australian Gasoline” Trees..
LOL. I call them napalm trees. As a friend of mine who was a horticulturalist says
” we’ve got 4000km of gum trees between here and the west coast. We don’t need to plant any more”.
Very funny and well stustained – but be aware, quite a few of those dotty proposals are already operative under UK/EU law! And London has been a ‘nuclear free zone’ ofr many years – as decreed by the former Mayor, Livingstone Newt-Lover
“”” geo (12:10:54) :
No, no, no. . . China can’t have Kansas.
Tho I am reminded of the exasperated prayer of one American statesman about the founding of modern Israel –”Why couldn’t God have promised them North Dakota?” “””
So Moses was a lousy navigator, and managed to find the only dry hole in the whole Middle East.
But what would China want with Kansas ? There are no trees there; although people stilld rive around in Logging trucks trying to find one that isn’t fossilized.
I actually had a Jaguar XK-140 hard top Coupe totalled by an empty logging truck in Victoria Kansas, once; and yes that truck had not been able to find any trees either. Kansas’ main function is to separate Missouri from Colorado.
Everybody in Missouri is kinda ornery; like Harry Truman was; and people in Colorado; well what can I say the National Snow and Ice Data center is there; so what else do you need to know.
In a world of low-flow toilets and proposals to dump iron in the ocean, it is hard to come up with a satirical piece–good job Anthony! I would suggest that you can tell who has their head on straight by who has kept their sense of humor.
Those psychedelci Fire Hydrants might have a good market.
As one who regularly visists Bethel Island Up in the Sac-Delta area, for Striper fishing withdrawal treatments, I used to drive past a front yard on the way there, that had a collection out in the yard, of lots of multicolored fire hydrants.
We used to wonder whether the house owner was pulling some insurance scam, and was hoping that if his house caught fire, the fire department would never figure out which hydrant actually connected with real water. and his property would be a total loss, for insurance purposes.
But the last year or two we noticed the hydrant collection had vanished completely; including whatever one had been connected to water.
We really miss that hydrant garden, and my son comments on its absence every time we go there.
Either the guy got an offer on his hydrants that was just too good to refuse; or maybe some bureaucrat came and told him that it violated some ordinance to have non-operational hydrants on your property. It’s a shame, because such weirdo collections are just too few and far between.
Now down near where my House is; way south of Chico, but still in the central valley, there’s a house that has a gazebo, or maybe its a tool shed; but it is entirely built out of empty beer bottles. Never been quite curious enough to ask the guy for a tour of the building.
Meanwhile the Teleprompter Reader in Chief read the calendar wrong, and made his April fool’s day speech yesterday.
You wouldn’t believe how many regular newspaper and TV/radio reporters he conned in to reporting that he was going to drill baby; drill now, drill here. Well maybe you can look for oil, so long as you don’t drill any holes anywhere; like 50 miles off the coast of Virginia, where its perhaps 26,000 feet of water, and no oil that they don’t already know about and will never be allowed to drill for.
It’s really a scam to get some Republican politiicans to actually vote for his coming carbon tax legislation that he needs to pay for his socialized medicine boondoggle.
That will probably result in California tipping over; but in this case, it will fold upwards against the Sierra Nevada, as all the industrial companies in silicon valley, pull up stakes, and head for Mumbai, or Myanmar.
There are still people in California who believe that businesses actually pay taxes; so you can just stick it to them, when you want more State employee retirement funds.
Well even Gaia knows that economics doesn’t work that way; and the people in California who still have an above average education, also know how to earn a living somewhere else where they still allow business.
Good luck with one of those 35.5 MPG Government Motors 3/4 ton trucks that Obama is going to have his boys build for you. It’s gonna be all built out of carbon nanotubes, and comes with a 500 cc Norton engine (hemi).
One of the perks of driving in California is that you don’t have to buy Government mandated auto insurance; which makes you wonder why you would want to buy government mandated health insurance.
Oh you DO have to comply with California’s Financial Responsibility Law. You simply put up a $25,000 bod with the DMV, just in case you hit somebody else or damage their property when you are driving.
You see California doesn’t give a hoot whether your car looks like it has been attacked by a back hoe; so long as it has all the necessary safety equipment, and passes the smog test.
Most people though find the easiest way to comply with the law, that is designed to protect everybody else EXCEPT them; from them, is to simply purchase the readily available LIABILITY insurance that they can buy from anywhere in the USA. What they do about fixing their own junker is of no concern to the State, so you don’t need any of that kind of insurance if you are good with a hammer and tin snips.
I do miss that fire hydrant farm though.
how in the world will they get the required 1500 to 2500 gallons per minute (gpm) out if the narrow riser? If you sprinkler a building, you can sometimes get a permit variance to 1500 gpm, but that little thing would be lucky to deliver 200 gpm. They will need to use these as fence posts to make clusters of 10 at 300 foot intervals.
the main thing thing sustained will be a string of liability lawsuits, IMHO. Wait till there is a fire. This is a public safety issue.
from a water professional.
Thanks Anthony, in particular for the Seinfeld link. We fell for the free offer of a low flow shower months ago and I haven’t had a decent shower since. Now I know that I Am Not Alone and will seek out the local shower head black market.