Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn on Record

h/t to Jeff Lyslo

This is parody from The Onion, in case you have been desensitized to news sensationalism from outlets like CNN, Fox, and MSNBC and don’t recognize it as such.

31 thoughts on “Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn on Record

  1. AGW dictionary:
    Warming = global warming
    Stasis = climate change
    Cooling = climate chaos/natural variability

  2. That portends a series of ongoing fluctuations between high and low peak temperatures compounded by the milleniel trends of global warming and global cooling.

  3. Thankfully, those of us in central Florida are mostly protected from this awful season. I had to go to Boston in mid October a few years ago – as the plane descended through the clouds I could see the devastating fall colors for miles. The windshield of my rental car actually iced over on a few mornings. My prayers are with you in the North East during this trying time. I will think of you every time my air-conditioner kicks on.

  4. Yes, indeed, we have ‘leaf-fall blackspots’ here in the UK. Oh, dear!
    Incidental note. Americans didn’t invent the word ‘fall’ for autumn. It was in use in England during Henry VIII’s time. I’m a mine of information, me.

  5. Pingback: Breaking Weather News

  6. Up here in Maine I was nearly stampeded by frenzied apple pickers. The birds are flying south and it looks like something out of Alfred Hitchcock. I’m staying in and locking the doors.

  7. Due to climate change here in the North Central Valley, preparations are being made for the onslaught of Snow and Canadian Geese descending on the refuges and rice fields.
    Wal-Mart has a brisk sales of shotgun shells to concerned citizens. The situation looks hopeless, because a large number of the geese arrive after sunset and before sunrise, making observation of the invaders difficult. This dire situation is due, in part, to the failure of the Congress to provide earmark money for Wild Goose protection, in the US$850 billion bail-out bill, and, instead, sent the money to Wall Street to compensate investors for their bad financial decisions. The source for campaign and lobbying money always seems to come first.
    May as well find humor when and where we can. The next president will be an AGW’er.
    Prepare for a big carbon footprint on your wallet.

  8. Today was first snow at my humble abode in reno, nv. Unfortunately, I was unable to witness as I was not home, as I am not for 300 days a year. This was, however, not unusual as I have seen snow fall in nevada during all 12 months of the year.

  9. Joe in Biloxi says….. “That’s great stuff. Shepard Smith at Fox News should be forced to watch it.”
    Weeelll. I dunno……. Ol’ Shep ain’t the sharpest chisel in the Fox toolbox. He’d probably think it was serious…. 🙂

  10. A WSJ article on plants feelings
    1.) Quick. Call Tom Bombadil.
    2.) Q: What did the Ent say to Number 2?
    A: “I am not lumber! I am a Tree Man!

  11. evanjones (20:25:03) :

    A WSJ article on plants feelings
    1.) Quick. Call Tom Bombadil.
    2.) Q: What did the Ent say to Number 2?
    A: “I am not lumber! I am a Tree Man!

    Geez, here I am in one of the better fall foliage seasons (still not as good as 2001, see my neighbor’s maple that year at ) and suddenly get transported to an island in Middle Earth where I get chased by weather balloons brainwashing me with bad puns.
    I’m going to bed.
    I gotta admit though, the reference to Saruman works very well.

  12. “Severely moderate weather . . . temperatures as low as the 50’s.” You had me in stitches.
    Check me out at My latest post is two jokes about religion and food.

  13. Oh yes , I’ve just made my third apple pie and on the wach for errant seagulls blown off course. Come on over.

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