Guest Post by Bob Tisdale
I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.
The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.
We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.
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Goron.
Nice
How about Kevon or Gavon? Or Planet Hansen.
How about “Oz”? (Many candidates exist for the wizard – Mann, Pachuri, etc.).
or maybe “Neverland” …. where the models never reflect reality….
Or how about: Manngore or Goremann
All are good and appropriate. Also, it could be named after the CAGW community. ‘Wedgieworld’ (since the wedge is the simplest tool known to mann).
(I HATE it when I do something like this. Makes me sound like one of them.)
Mensenvarken
I luv Goremann simplex.
Here ya’ go.
http://i58.tinypic.com/oaxeuw.jpg
Nice drawing, but we have a lot of Morons on Earth too.
There was some B-grade Sci-Fi movie decades ago about a world exactly opposite the earth from the sun where everything happening on earth was exactly mirrored on the other planet.
Prb’ly its name was Thrae.
Technically they would be Gorons.
beng
November 14, 2014 at 3:01 pm
“There was some B-grade Sci-Fi movie decades ago about a world exactly opposite the earth from the sun where everything happening on earth was exactly mirrored on the other planet.”
Gerry Anderson’s first production with real actors.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppelg%C3%A4nger_%281969_film%29
The Gorons immigrated to Earth from Goron. On Earth their called Morons because they brought their climate models of Goron with them and tried to pass them off as climate models of Earth.
Goron, the planet whose atmosphere is made up of bozone…
Only one tiny problem. There is a series of Science fiction books by John Norman that take place on a Counter Earth named “Gor” believe me, you do not want to be associated with them. Overarching theme of the books was that women were happiest when they were chained at the foot of their ‘male’ owners bed.
You’ll have the progressives crying out that the Climate Deniers want to put all the women of earth into slavery.
DirkH — that’s the movie. I remember Roy Thinnes was the main character — he was also the main character of an Amer Sci-Fi series that ran a few yrs called “The Invaders”.
Fortran
That’s much funnier than most people realize.
I like that. The problem with anything related to “gore” is that you are giving him recognition, no matter how indirectly. I’d like to pretend that the man never existed.
Yes, then the planets either side of it can be Fortran II and Fortran IV.
With a major hat-tip to Cordwainer Smith [SF Author of the 1960s] surely the imaginary planet ought to be called
Mann-home
Have a good week-end, all.
Auto
I must applaud your choice of authors. Smith (Linebarger) was one of the most creative SF authors ever — and also wrote one of the very first manuals on Psychological Warfare for the US Army.
Hoax’Us 3
Game over.
“Like” 🙂
Smearth. Kind of like SIm-Earth. Sounds like where the Smurfs live as well. And is a source of mirth. (watching the predictions fail). oops, I mean “projections”
Superman had Bizarro World. Seems to fit now.
The Real map of the Climate
The Earth is a sphere, 70% covered by water. The central portion of the sphere between the 30˚ latitudes is half the surface area and absorbs 64% of the solar radiation. The higher latitudes get progressively less solar radiation and that includes most of the Northern hemispheric land masses.
Since energy flows from hot to cold. The geometry clearly shows that the energy flows from the equator to the poles. The energy takes two paths and time frames, the bulk of the energy flow is by slow diffusion in the oceans, with a secondary flow via a relatively faster flux in the atmosphere.
Geometry also shows that a cloud in the tropics primarily causes cooling by blocking the suns rays from being absorbed by the ocean and the same cloud in higher latitudes results in warming by reflecting surface radiation.
That is it. More clouds in the tropics cools the climate and less clouds in the tropics warms the climate. Everything else is a rounding error.
This is a great point. It would have been wonderful if this thread had been more about the silly way climatologists “model” the earth by making it flat and averaging the sunlight over the whole darn thing at all times. A diffused twilight. Perfect for vampires perhaps, but not the real earth as we know it. It is a sphere, and it is a water filled world. It has a powerful heat source called the sun that will burn your butt at the equator if you are on a sandy beach. The atmosphere is a heat moving machine.
Perhaps your comment could be expanded upon and made into a post someday when people realize that unless “science” looks at the darned beast as it is, and not as some fantasy place, we will never really understand the climate.
Your post was a +1 with me. ~Mark
Hmm, Flat Earth would be another suitable name.
I’m certainly grateful for the clouds which brought snow yesterday & are now keeping the temperature here in NE Oregon from getting even more unseasonably cold. When they clear, we’ll yet again suffer Arctic chill under cloudless skies.
You’re right about tropical clouds. One hypothesis to explain the exceptional heat of the Cretaceous is fewer clouds, producing hot oceans, which yield fewer biological CCNs in a positive feedback loop. Higher CO2 levels alone then can’t reproduce implied heat, without absurdly high CS assumptions.
If they taught this in schools, there wouldn’t be any alarmists 😉
Nibiru Planet X set to destroy the Earth in 2003… No! 2012.. No! Dec 2014… Oh, I don’t know but its definitely there!
It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
Already in movie theaters everywhere on the real Earth! 🙂
Or World, World, World, World, Mad – or am I getting Alfred E. Neuman(n) out of his depth?
Auto
That one Terra-Bytes
Could be Terra Flops!
Or “Sim-ya-later”
“Nibiru Planet X set to destroy the Earth in 2003… No! 2012.. No! Dec 2014… Oh, I don’t know but its definitely there!”
Muller’s
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemesis_%28hypothetical_star%29
(It’s the Muller who also did BEST)
Alarmistan
Planet Hearth
Plant Hearth
[Missed it by that much, Chief. ~mod]
Planet Phlogiston
Yeah! Phlogiston. The atmospheric burning planet.
Gorphlogismann. I think that’s a winner.
LaLa Land, It’s where she lives….
Antigaia
Planet Krypton 🙂
Planet IPPiCac Both make you heave
Bizarro World — where everything is backwards, but especially their science.
Vaia — Virtual Gaia
Nice.
Or Māyā, in the Buddhist meaning.
How about “La La Land”?
“La La Land” is it.
Erewhon!
Hypoconnedgaia
Linear Simplistica
Fun game, Bob!
Fun name, Joseph.
‘Joseph Murphy’, while a fine name, doesn’t scream ‘fun’ to me…
But is a writer of fine laws
Seems self-promoting experts in the field share a common strategy: take a tangent from the most recent potentially adverse change, and then promote the Cr*p out of it as the probable future. To which they have the sole remedy, natch. This ‘ere bottle of snake oil, …
Bizarro World
Fantasia – apologies to Disney
Manntasia.
We have lift off!
That’s got my vote
Love it!
I was going to suggest that, actual name is “Htrae”, but in DC Comics the Bizarro world is cube shaped, which kind of violates the spirit of Bob’s challenge. Although if we follow the Bizarro premise, we have to grant that there is a Bizarro Michael Mann there who is universally reviled for conducting good climate research.
Well, they model the surface of Earth as perfectly flat, circular black body radiator so faces on a cube fit right into their math.
DeathToUsAllVile
Climate Cuckoo Land
Without any clouds!
Vague. (World of models with uncertainty bars …)
Somatoformia
Rogue Globe
Errrth
To Errrth is human….
Yes. Clever, what?
Gets my vote!
Gets my vote!
Simulak
Love it 🙂