Would you, could you, shoot a goat in the Name of Climate Change?

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By Steve Goreham

Originally published in The Washington Times.

O’Hare airport will finally get its goats. The Department of Aviation of the City of Chicago has awarded a contract to a private firm to provide 25 goats to munch vegetation at the city’s airport. These “green lawn mowers” will help reduce carbon dioxide emissions to sustain the planet.

Last fall, when the project was bid, Amy Malick, head of sustainability at the Department of Aviation, commented on the planned use of goats in hard-to-mow areas, “They may have steep slopes, very hard to get to with heavy machinery, and those machines also emit pollution. They’re burning fossil fuel. So as a sustainability initiative we’re looking to bring in animals that do not have emissions associated with them, at least to the same extent that heavy machinery would.”

A shepherd will herd the goats across 120 acres at four different sites on airport property. The 25 fuzzy critters are expected to clear vegetation each day from a square at least sixteen feet on a side.

Chicago is not the first city to employ animals to reduce airport vegetation. Sheep are used at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport and goats are used at San Francisco International. Seattle-Tacoma International Airport deployed goats as early as 2008, but stopped because “it was not cost effective.” How can a guy with a lawn mower be as cost effective as a herd of goats?

A single one-way Boeing 747 flight from Chicago to London emits about 200 tons of carbon dioxide, or about 5,000 times the annual emissions from a gasoline-powered lawn mower of a homeowner. It appears that emissions savings from O’Hare goats will be relatively small. But what about methane emissions from the herd?

On the other side of the world, about 10,000 miles from Chicago, the government of Australia has a different solution for global warming. More than a million wild camels, called “feral” camels, roam the outback of Australia. They munch up the foliage and emit methane, a potent greenhouse gas, from both the nose end and the tail end. Each camel produces more than one ton of CO2-equivalent emissions per year. Feral goats are also part of this severe climate problem.

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But the enlightened Australian government passed the Carbon Farming Initiative Act in December of 2011. The act calls for “The reduction of methane emissions through the management, in a humane manner, of feral goats, feral deer, feral pigs, or feral camels.” “Management” companies are now flying over the outback, shooting goats and camels from helicopters, and earning carbon credits. Maybe the Aussies should use goats instead of lawn mowers at airports?

So goats are both grazed and shot to reduce those evil carbon dioxide emissions. It’s all part of this mad, mad, mad world of Climatism.

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Steve Goreham is Executive Director of the Climate Science Coalition of America and author of the new book The Mad, Mad, Mad World of Climatism: Mankind and Climate Change Mania.(which they don’t like at San Jose State Meteorology Dept.)

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Amr Marzouk
May 9, 2013 8:02 pm

You can’t make this up.

cui bono
May 9, 2013 8:05 pm

So a small neutron bomb in the outback could earn big money?

shepherdfj
May 9, 2013 8:14 pm

What they do to combat climate change is surely a bonanza of fresh material for stand up comedians.

Admin
May 9, 2013 8:25 pm

I’d shoot a goat – they make a delicious stew, especially if you add some curry spices. Right up there with roast hog. Always looked forward to dinner at my Uncle’s farm.

May 9, 2013 8:26 pm

I was going to attempt to write something funny about this but then I realized it was hopeless. Completely hopeless. Thoroughly hopeless. As hopeless as hopeless can be. Jet aircraft travel juxtaposed with the Middle Ages. Forward!

May 9, 2013 8:32 pm

Has Kevin Trenberth officially reached goat status yet …. ?

May 9, 2013 8:35 pm

Why have a human shepherd herd the goats instead of a ‘natural’ herd management system….. like a pack of grey wolves….
which would provide some entertainment during those long tarmac layovers….
“Oh look Susie, the wolves are shredding another goat.”

Chris @njsnowfan
May 9, 2013 8:35 pm

Goats munching grass along and near a major runway is a disaster than can be avoided by not having them there in the first place. I can see the headline now, Goat runs onto runway and is sucked into jet engine causing plane to crash and many people to die. WTF is wrong with people. I wonder how much $$ that guy or gal is making that came up with that brilliant plan and the man hours it has taken this far. Headline could read like this, Terrorist straps bomb to goat and blows up plane on runway. Goat shepherd from middle east…

Gcapologist
May 9, 2013 8:37 pm

Mowing the lawn sucks. Well managed got herds do work. They also have a certain charm.
Shooting feral camels is absurd (at least in my neighborhood.)

Tim Beatty
May 9, 2013 8:38 pm

Isn’t the vegetation counted as sequestered carbon while eating and defecating is creating more CO2? As the Lorax, I say let it grow.

Lew Skannen
May 9, 2013 8:39 pm

When I first heard that our amazing government was planning on killing goats to save the climate I thought it was one of those ridiculous ‘out of context’ misquotes that we sceptics are accused of all the time. Nope. Turns out it is true.
So it now raises a couple of questions.
Firstly – which animals next? I am not native to Australia so I may soon find myself on the list especially since I am a member of the animal group which emits the most CO2.
Secondly, if the camels don’t eat the grass and digest it is there a possibility that something else might?!
A kangaroo maybe. Admittedly they are native to Australia but so many?! Should there therefore not be some kind of upper limit to acceptible populations of kangaroos? This needs to be discussed, decided and implemented.
I can only conclude that what we really need is a bigger bureucracy to save us…

May 9, 2013 8:40 pm

When will this silly but very damaging extremism end? Will the climate scientists ever come to grip with the serious consequences of the bad CO2 science they are continuing to shamelessly promote leading so many well meaning people and government agencies to do amazingly stupid things. It appears that only the climate scientists can bring it to an end. Please, please do what must eventually be done to save our civilization. Just say it, “We were wrong. Carbon Dioxide is not a dangerous greenhouse gas. There is no significant man-made global warming. There is no crisis. In the name of responsible science let us reconsider the issue of man made climate change.”

wws
May 9, 2013 8:41 pm

I’d gladly shoot that goat that was in that horrible Mountain Dew ad, whatever its name was. That was sick. Heard that they make great fajitas.

noaaprogrammer
May 9, 2013 8:47 pm

First they came for feral camels …

Janice Moore
May 9, 2013 8:47 pm

Why were goat lawn mowers not cost-effective at Sea-Tac? Replacement cost for new goats (no doubt). The hungry, jobless, peasants of the Socialist State of Seattle kept killing the goats for food. (;|)

Chris @njsnowfan
May 9, 2013 8:51 pm

Another Great Post from Joe Bastardi today. Do They Even Look?http://patriotpost.us/opinion/18098

Allencic
May 9, 2013 8:53 pm

Do you suppose that a single jet taking off at O’Hare might undo any reduction in CO2 the goats provide? Of course since CO2 isn’t harmful to the Earth or climate, “What does it mattter?” To quote Hillary.

Janice Moore
May 9, 2013 8:55 pm

Loose Cannon: “… it now raises a couple of questions.
Firstly – which animals next?”
noaaprogrammer: “First they came for feral camels …”
I, for one, WILL SPEAK UP! — Before they come for… .

OldWeirdHarold
May 9, 2013 8:57 pm

Steep slopes? Has this person in charge of O’Hare ever been to Chicago?

May 9, 2013 8:59 pm

John Coleman says:
May 9, 2013 at 8:40 pm
When will this silly but very damaging extremism end?
======================
The way it works in the private sector is that the let’s call him or her “CEO” comes to work one morning, usually a Board Meeting, and then goes home without a job.
Sometimes the reason is “We needed a change” – nothing more, nothing less.
Then it’s over.
It’s like being cured of constipation times 1000, or in this case (as far as the planet goes) times 1,000,000.
It’s going to happen soon, hence the recent very nervous twitching from the lying frauds.

AndyG55
May 9, 2013 9:00 pm

Seriously? Goats on an air field.. what could possibly go wrong !!
and wtf was Glyophosphate invent for ???

imoira
May 9, 2013 9:00 pm

For sure the Union of Airport Goatherds will strike if a shepherd gets the job.

Chris B
May 9, 2013 9:01 pm

Maybe there’s a crop that could be planted, grown and harvested on that 120 acres rather than simply feeding methane generators that require human supervision.

AB
May 9, 2013 9:02 pm

It all sounds rather like Climategoat iv, sorry, I couldn’t help it ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶

Bill H
May 9, 2013 9:06 pm

I wonder how planes will fair against goats on the runway? the smaller planes wont survive well..
Chopped goat via propeller.. I guess gutted, hide removed and thinly sliced is the name of the game… :).

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