A reply to Senator Menendez from Santa

People send me stuff. I’m on all sorts of mailing lists, and ever since WUWT started the Sea Ice Page, I’ve been on the Santa’s workshop mailing list. Believe me, it’s as much a surprise to me as it is to you.

I got a letter from Santa today, with a request that I repost it here, since he and the elves were concerned the Senator may not get it before Christmas with the bad weather and the USPS holiday schedule. It is a response from Santa regarding this blog post at Huffington Post from somebody who claims to be Senator Robert Menendez:

Here is Santa’s response:

PDF of the letter is available here: Santa_letter_to Senator_Menendez

Note:

The letter from Senator Menendez is real.

The inspiration for the spoof rebuttal comes from the letter sent in 1974 by the Cleveland Browns front office: http://deadspin.com/5716038/the-greatest-letter-ever-printed-on-nfl-team-letterhead

big h/t to Gary

Merry Christmas everyone!

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94 thoughts on “A reply to Senator Menendez from Santa

  1. Yes New Jersey, there is a Santa Claus.

    He’s gotten a bit jaded in his old age, and a bit saltier in his language.

  2. I would have written from Santa to Senator Menendez.

    You know lying puts you on my naughty list and you have been telling some rather large porkies lately.

  3. Sen. Menendez’ pledge to get the US Federal government to help Santa relocate sounds as useful as anything else being perpetrated in the name of Lysenkoism. . . er, climate change.

  4. four stages of life –
    You believe in Santa Claus.
    You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
    You are Santa Claus.
    You look like Santa Claus.

  5. Santa lives at 101 St Nicholas Lane, North Pole, Alaska 99705.

    His second favorite saying after ‘Ho,Ho,Ho’ is ‘Drill Baby Drill’.

    The two refineries in North Pole, Alaska make sure he has plenty of energy to keep his elves warm and his workshop going.

  6. I was in a real “bah, humbug” mood but just turned the corner because of Santa’s letter.

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  7. These are the two official addresses of Santa;

    SANTA CLAUS
    NORTH POLE
    H0H 0H0
    CANADA

    or

    Santa Claus
    P.O. Box 56009
    North Pole, Alaska
    99705-1099

    Simple addresses really… and Sen. Menendez sends his letter to Huffington Post. Even Santa is not socialist enough for them.

  8. Dear Sen. Menendez,
    Is it possible that you could desist from embarrassing the people of New Jersey for even a day ?
    Never mind that your big issue is to lobby for extra perks for the people who make
    things hard here. NEver mind your limelight seeking, toadying and sucking up around
    President Empty Suit.
    And almost never mind your complete fealty to Jeff Tittle and the enviro-fascist lobby,
    you still find time to write in the HuffPo.
    Could you maybe find a few moments to tend to the interests of New JErsey or your constitutional duty to protect the United States from enemies foreign and domestic ?
    And stop being such a clown ?

    Jim from Jersey

  9. harrywr2 says:
    December 23, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    Santa lives at 101 St Nicholas Lane, North Pole, Alaska 99705.

    ———–

    Lies!

    It has been long known that Santa resides at:

    North Pole
    Canada
    H0H 0H0

    ;-)

  10. Speaking as a lifelong resident of New Jersey, I can inform the readers here that the only asshole signing Sen. Menendez’ correspondence is Sen. Menendez, and he’s been an asshole all his life.

    Let’s give seniority and experience the credit they’re due, okay?

  11. Made me smile on a day of annoying, nosy old relatives invading my property.
    I am fighting back with Christmas lights.and my computer sound system at full volume trance electronica My budget is toast.
    They are the LED ones so I never have to worry about the power bill.
    And they stay on 24/7.
    An obscure reference to the older crowd on WUWT, there’s a show called Robot Chicken
    Santa races Superman and they end up with beating down Lex Luther and calling it a tie.
    Merry Christmas WUWT I’m on holiday so I declare:
    dwright out

  12. I’m not sure where Sen. Menendez has been, but we’ve already had an ice-free summer. Those smart scientists he refers to in his letter made this prediction way back in 2008, and they (like climate scientists everywhere) can NEVER be wrong!

    North Pole May Be Ice-Free for First Time This Summer
    Aalok Mehta aboard the C.C.G.S. Amundsen
    National Geographic News
    June 20, 2008

    Arctic warming has become so dramatic that the North Pole may melt this summer, report scientists studying the effects of climate change in the field.

    “We’re actually projecting this year that the North Pole may be free of ice for the first time [in history],” David Barber, of the University of Manitoba, told National Geographic News aboard the C.C.G.S. Amundsen, a Canadian research icebreaker.

    And we also know that arctic ice never refreezes because the newspapers (even the Bedford Falls Gazette) NEVER report when that happens – only when the melt begins.

  13. With the recent weather we have been experiencing in the UK, Santa would feel very much at home if he were to consider relocating here.

    However our excessive Elf and Safety regulations would prevent this from happening.

  14. Everybody in Europe knows Santa lives in Finland. Alaska? – Duh!!!

    Merry Christmas to all – “Nollaig Shona” in Irish Gaelic.

  15. By the way, if you get your news from the only truly reliable news source out there, that blog would be known to you as “The Huffing and Puffing Ton Post.”

  16. David Spurgeon says:
    “ … Everybody in Europe knows Santa lives in Finland … “

    Yes, Santa was forced to move to Lapland during the MWP.

    These guys need to update their address books.

  17. OT: I suppose everyone knows that “Santa Clause” is a North American mispronunciation of Saint Nicholas through slurring the names together thus:

    Saint’Nicholas….Santni Claus ……….. Santi’Clause………… Santa Clause

    HO de HO HO HO

  18. Good chance of a White Christmas in LA (lower Alabama) according to the evening news…

    Actually, the snow is predicted for the evening of the 25th. Does that count as a white Christmas?

    BTW, the is not the first snow of the year here in the deep south and not even the first snow of the season. We live in interesting times.

  19. HO HO HO and a merry snowbound Christmas to all in the Northern hemisphere – and some Australians too!

  20. Colin from Mission B.C. quite rightly says on December 23, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    It has been long known that Santa resides at:

    North Pole
    Canada
    H0H 0H0

    Right ON!

    North Pole – Canada.
    Canada – Santa!!

  21. as a resident of NJ, I apologies for my very blue state inflicting Senator Menendez on the national as a whole. The man isn’t fit to be elected to the local PTA let alone the United States Senate.

  22. In reality, Santa Clause is still kept safe in Italy.. St. Nicholas was not ‘Turkish’, no… he was a Christian Anatolian.. Recently Turkey has been pressuring for the transfer of St. Nick’s bones back to Ergodan’s Turkey…

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8432314.stm

    I don’t think the denial of the Orthodox Christians to build the St. Nicholas Church that was destroyed on 9/11 is procedural in any sense…

    http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2010/12/bloomberg-ethics-violations-collusion-gave-political-support-to-ground-zero-mosque-supremacists-newl.html

    obvious bias is obvious… Do Christians really want to give up one of their original Saints?

    I hope not…

  23. I’m from New Jersey and I know Menendez. He is representative of the quality, intelligence, and integrity of NJ elected officials — before Christy, that is.

  24. I understood the north pole has or is drifted/ drifting into Russian waters, that should be socialist enough for your senator. Great reply guess it will be ice free up here when Guam rolls over.For its the same wisdom and sciency thinking. For seperation of church and state ,its time to purge the halls of power of the Church of Climatology. Merry Christmas.

  25. I wonder what other myths they’ll co-op for propaganda in the coming holidays.

    Perhaps the Easter Bunny won’t have grass and carrots to eat due to the drought caused by global warming?

  26. At 7:11 PM on 23 December, etudiant complained:

    Coarse.
    Humor should be a stiletto, not a bludgeon.

    .
    Con rispetto, amico, you’ve got no goddam idea about what it’s like to live in the Soprano State.

    Beating a North Jersey politician literallyover the head with a blunt object (which involves striking at no working part of his body) is merely a down payment on the drawing-and-quartering he actually deserves.

  27. Bwahahahahahahaah!

    Oh, it’s almost Christmas eve, I mean

    Bwohohohohohohohohohohh!

    I love the way Santa thinks. :)

  28. “Please know that I will work to mobilize the US Federal government to assist when you relocate.”

    That would be a perfect wish to send the Federal gov’t to the North Pole.
    We would all be really really good, and never ask for anything, ever again.

    Merry Christmas, Zeke the Sneak

  29. @SandyMcL

    Thank you Sir/Madam. You made me smile after a long hard Christmas Eve Retail Shiznik… (It takes a lot to do that).

  30. “an ice free Arctic by 2012″ Ooooh Noooo! Best call Al Gore then?

    New Jersey has elected this person to serve its interests, having been hit extra hard by the economic meltdown and the shifting of jobs to the East and a economy crushing EPA/tax/red tape regime for those businesses left standing the rich senator hopes that a fictional character will move from a fictional HQ because of a fictional global meltdown?

    The USA will not be best placed to retain its position as leader of the free world if it insists on electing mental defectives to high office.

    Merry Xmas and my very best wishes to you all and may God gift our leaders with some common sense in the coming year.

  31. Hysterical.

    But I think HIS letter did more to advance the skeptical view than anything. That he addresses a fictional character AT ALL, then Flaunts the notion of BILLIONS of gifts, delivered overnight? reveals he sees the entire issue as a ridiculous fantasy.

    It doesn’t read to me as tho he is really addressing children. He seems to ridicule AGW theory. And that he notes only portions of Antarctica might be subject to melt suggests he knows full well the AGW theory is Bull$^&t, but has such contempt for his own constituency that he will denigrate the very thing he argues for, and still expect them to support him for it.

    Truly despicable, but actually helpful to the skeptics cause.

  32. BTW Santa Klaus is now working as the president of the Czech Republic, calling himself Václav Klaus:

    This is an actual photograph – no Photoshop.

    He has given several speeches about global warming ideology’s being the greatest threat to human freedom. He often mentions that he flew to another destination the world that was 30 degrees warmer or cooler than the place of departure but he is so brave and resilient that he so survived. ;-)

    More info about Baby Jesus and Santa Klaus:

    http://motls.blogspot.com/2006/12/santa-claus-vs-baby-jesus.html

    Merry Christmas. ;-)

  33. Sorry but Father Christmas is just not to be compared with the real thing, Sinterklaas, wich we celebrate at the 5th of december. And he lives in Spain nowadays when he is not visiting us.

    Oh and never ever try “kruidnoten”, they are highly addictive :-9
    (i wish that they where sold all year round)

  34. Merry Christmas and wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year to y’all.

    Now, whatever gives people the silly idea that melting sea ice bothers Santa Claus? This is a being that, in the span of a single day, visits every household on the planet. And on a sleigh pulled by reindeer … quite a sight in the tropics.

    Perhaps he ought to leave a lump of coal for politicians, since they all seem to have been bad boys and girls.

  35. Aargh me mateys theys don’ts call it the silly will season fer nought.

    What a whack job, Santie don’t do email, he don’t have to answers them, he looks in the earts and souls of sooky la las and just snips em from the list. Cos he has never answered a real pen and ink job in 500 years.

    I reckon some nutbag is gonna get a bag black coal, tipped on his head, for bothering a real busy bloke doing a real job not writing dumb emails about reindeer fertiliser.

  36. Yer it’s funny down here we call him Santie bloke, he fills yer eskies with refreshments and gives the doxy girls naughty togs to wear in the them rising global warming oceans.

    He beats the crap out of Bad Peter the Tax man. We reckon he’s all right, except for the year, he got on the scoot and didn’t deliver something until March.

    Almost lost his Posties union ticket as well as his pilot’s license..

  37. I’m waiting for Al Gore to produce pictures of Rudolph clinging for dear life to a melting ice flow…

    Merry Christmas!

  38. I wonder if Senator Terry Le Sueur could sue Senator Menendez and New Jersey for bringing Jersey into disrepute? Also demand that New Jersey ceases to use the word “Jersey” in their name for having brought the word into disrepute.

    p.s. I have no idea what the position of Jersey is regarding AGW, or even if they have one.

  39. How stupid to even think that anyone could or would want to live on sea ice for 363 days a year! The [/snip] polynyas, the endless gyre and all, not for me! So I moved to solid ground several centuries ago: http://www.santaclausvillage.info/

    [Some vulgarities are so offensive that even with a letter or two left out they should not be presented. .... bl57~mod]

  40. My good friend Mr Claus maintains a home address in Finland. Apparently that is where his old deer comes from.
    Nadoleg LLawen! ( Welsh, Happy Christmas)

  41. Last time I checked Santa was living in Lapland. Maybe Sen. Menendez got the address wrong? Or maybe he doesn’t know that europeans can’t live in Arctic anymore because it is much colder now than it was 1000 years ago.

    Merry Christmas to WUWT!

  42. I think Santa needs to leave a large supply of coal in this man’s stocking with a note that he has to burn it in his fireplace and comtemplate E. Scrooge if he is ever to get back on the Nice List.

  43. SandyMcL says:
    December 23, 2010 at 5:04 pm
    “With the recent weather we have been experiencing in the UK, Santa would feel very much at home if he were to consider relocating here.
    However our excessive Elf and Safety regulations would prevent this from happening.”

    Ha ha ha!! Wonderful.

  44. I thought the North Pole was claimed by Russia. Or was that only the under-ice part?

    Better find out folks before you send your letters.

  45. Gary Pearse says:
    December 23, 2010 at 5:22 pm
    OT: I suppose everyone knows that “Santa Clause” is a North American mispronunciation of Saint Nicholas through slurring the names together thus:

    Saint’Nicholas….Santni Claus ……….. Santi’Clause………… Santa Clause

    HO de HO HO HO

    Ho-har-de-har. If you’re going to issue corrections, be REEEL careful you’re not full of it hot air.

    It’s “Claus”. The “Santa Clause” was a movie:
    The Santa Clause (1994) – IMDb
    Directed by John Pasquin. Starring Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson. When a man inadvertantly kills Santa on Christmas Eve, he finds himself magically recruited to take his place.

  46. I believe that the Santa household, the missus, the elves, all the reindeer have planned to move to the MAGNETIC North Pole.
    Since it is constantly moving around the globe, it will be a politically correct place to live.

  47. Santa, not being at all concerned about global warming, has several production facilities and estates in several northern climes. He is nothing if not diversified. The methane gas from the reindeer keep the sled warm during the long haul. While its been long believed that Rudolph’s red nose was a navigation light or the result of years of sucking on fermented grain, actually its the heater coil ignitor for the methane furnace on the sleigh. There’s also a persistent rumour that the Star of Bethlehem was in reality an afterburner test for the methane heater one year, that got a little, er, overheated, but the ‘deer ain’t talking.

    I have to take a run at the semantics tho – [the] Santa Clause is that part of liberal legislation that gives away vast amounts of OPM (other people’s money) to various self-identified victim groups and their advocates, and not the jolly old philanthropist from the frozen north, who revels in the spirit of giving, as opposed to taking….

    As liberals around the world quietly acknowledge, “life sucks when you run out of other people’s money”.

  48. Yes, Virginia, there is a Senator Menendez … unfortunately.

    Let’s hope his kids don’t end up singing the famous song – “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” as a result of his latest foray into public policy.

    Oh, and ‘Elf and Safety’ regulations – gold!

  49. Once upon a time a VMS support person worked out some frustrations with problem reports from clueless customers that he proposed changes in what to tell customers. The result is preserved at http://www.dourish.com/goodies/see-figure-1.html and the phrase “See figure 1″ became a tongue in cheek way of telling coworkers their request didn’t have merit.

    Even the title “We’re VMS and You’re Not” was a hack, as it referred to a fake full page help wanted ad similar but completely different from the ads DEC ran when there were growing at 40% a year in the early 1970s – “We’re Digital and You’re Not.”

  50. I’ve heard of going for the youth vote but the under 5s?

    There is no sanity clause. :-P Chico Marx

    DaveE.

  51. Gary Pearse says:
    December 23, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    OT: I suppose everyone knows that “Santa Clause” is a North American mispronunciation of Saint Nicholas through slurring the names together thus:

    Saint’Nicholas….Santni Claus ……….. Santi’Clause………… Santa Clause

    HO de HO HO HO
    —————
    In Aus it takes a few beers and a “strine ” accent but hes been called nikkerless.:-)
    horrible vision springs to mind.

    Merry whatever to all:-)

  52. At 12:57 AM on 24 December, Richard managed a minor fail (British style) by referring to the Isle of Jersey without saying so explicitly, figuring that the world’s majority of English-speaking people would get the joke without explanation, writing:

    I wonder if Senator Terry Le Sueur could sue Senator Menendez and New Jersey for bringing Jersey into disrepute? Also demand that New Jersey ceases to use the word “Jersey” in their name for having brought the word into disrepute.

    .

    p.s. I have no idea what the position of Jersey is regarding AGW, or even if they have one.

    .

    To explain to our friend across the rolling main, since the ratification of the progressives’ 17th Amendment (it took its pernicious effect just prior to the 1914 elections), governments of the several states have had vanishingly little to do with the selection of U.S. Senators.

    The way the federal Constitution was structured, the upper house in our national legislature was designed so that each U.S. Senator served his term in office as a sort of representative of the interests and desires of the state legislature which had elected him.

    The progressives didn’t like that system (which had produced some truly great national legislators during the course of the 19th Century, as well as such unmitigatedly cancerous bastiches as Henry Clay), and thus the 17th Amendment took the U.S. Senate away from the state governments and made of each Senator a sort of duplicate directly elected legislator, differing from the critters in the U.S. House of Representatives only in term of office and the fact that rather than nominally (and I use that word deliberately) pursuing the interests of the people of a few counties and towns, he putatively takes into Mordor-on-the-Potomac the concerns of the folks of his entire state, where he runs for election “at large.”

    This has invariably resulted in U.S. Senators being elected entirely by the great population centers in each state. In New Jersey, this means that those of us who live outside the bedroom suburbs of New York City – North Jersey – have effectively nothing to say about how we are ostensibly “represented” in the U.S. Senate.

    And between having the hell-hole city of Camden and the “Liberal” suburb of Cherry Hill in my congressional district, I’ve never in my life had even the least ghost of a shadow of a voice in the U.S. House of Representatives, either.

    To borrow a phrase from the old popular song, “That’s what America means to me.” I get what the overwhelming majority of my neighbors determine is best for them, and in New Jersey we have – surprise! – 81 government employees per square mile. The highest density of this blood-sucking pathology in any state in the Union.

    Any surprise that these rice-bowl-clutching parasites vote consistently for creatures like Sen. Menendez?

    Okay, but what about New Jersey’s state government, that Isengard-on-the-Delaware to our magnificant Mombasa Messiah’s Mordor further south?

    Well, under our last governor – yet another flagrant National Socialist ratbag who had astonishingly failed of re-election because he and his good buddies in the totally National Socialist Democrat American Party (NSDAP) state legislature had hammered the Garden State even more Challenger-Deep into economic chaos – these flaming fascists involved us in the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative (RGGI, pronounced “Reggie”).

    This year, however, our Republican Governor (elected in 2009, and do bear in mind that in New Jersey “Republican” = RINO at all times and in all places) took the $65 million that had been stolen from the people of New Jersey under this scheme of predation and fraud, turning it to addressing the truly Hellenic budget deficits his NSDAP predecessor had inflicted upon us.

    So while we’ve not advanced our understanding about how the local government of the island of Jersey is addressing the “Cargo Cult Science” of spurious anthropogenic climate catastrophe, the peninsula of New Jersey is experiencing the usual Trenton Screw Job, in which our governing corruptocrats have treated this “noble” effort precisely the same way they have treated every other tax rip-off they’ve ever perpetrated.

    Welcome to “the Soprano State.”

    Sen. Menendez is precisely what North Jersey – full of Mets and Yankees fans, natch – could be expected to inflict upon the nation.

  53. Cap-and-trade will shut down Santa’s billion-toy factory faster than a few extra degrees on the ‘ol thermometer.

  54. The Senator for the State of New J
    Offered Santa a new place to stay
    The worry he felt
    Was that the ice would all melt
    And that Santa would sink with his sleigh

    But Santa is smarter than Bob
    And thinks he’s a bit of a knob
    He gets all his elves
    To make ice floes and shelves
    Keeping house is all part of the job

  55. In response to Eduardo Ferreyra’s question: Is Senator Menendez related to the Menendez brothers who blasted their parents with a shotgun? The answer is: No, Senator Menendez was appointed Senator to fill the vacancy created when Jon Corzine left to became Governor of New Jersey in 2006. Since then, we have thankfully gotten rid of Jon Corzine, but are still stuck with Robert Menendez.

  56. If I read it correctly, the motto on Santa Claus’s seal is “Scelestulus Aut Suctwis”. Dare I translate this as “Naughty Or Nice”?

  57. I hate to admit this, BUTT senator M is a plagarist. I wrote a similar piece of garbage that was published in the local media in 2004. Before I knew better. Sorry, Santa.

  58. Ho, ho, ho, and God bless us, every 0ne!
    Merriest Christmas to us all, especially the warmistas.

    So after all the ice melts, what will we find?

    I wonder what New Jersey’s policy is on undocumented elves?

  59. At 1:23 PM on 24 December, Mike McMillan had asked:

    I wonder what New Jersey’s policy is on undocumented elves?

    .
    As long as they vote the straight National Socialist Democrat American Party (NSDAP) ticket, the position advocated by our Assembly and State Senate in Trenton (in the words of Sen. Menendez) is: “Bienvenidos, amigos!.

    Tolkien notwithstanding, Elves speak Spanish, don’t they?

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