Friday Funny: Learn to speak Climate

One of the biggest and most ridiculous actions by climate change alarmists is to take ordinary everyday weather events and turn them in to something sinister and scary. You can see this in everyday media reports where junior journos try to link climate and weather on a regular basis, and beclown themselves in the process.

Josh has come up with an easy to follow guide to help you keep track.

Like his work? Buy him a pint.

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November 12, 2021 8:17 am

Yes, a windstorm is now a bomb cyclone. Several days of heavy rain is now an atmospheric river.

Reply to  John
November 12, 2021 8:34 am

Cry me a river has new meaning

Pat from Kerbob
Reply to  fretslider
November 12, 2021 11:01 am

I’ll give you $1k to step off a cliff

Reply to  Pat from Kerbob
November 12, 2021 12:56 pm

I’m waiting for http:\\

Last edited 10 months ago by OK S.
Reply to  fretslider
November 12, 2021 3:52 pm

Did Griff forget which job he was on and mix his forums up 🙂

Bryan A
Reply to  fretslider
November 12, 2021 5:07 pm


Last edited 10 months ago by Bryan A
Reply to  Anthony Watts
November 12, 2021 10:21 am

Pretty sure nobody has sighted any bombs in the atmospheric rivers though.

Reply to  Duane
November 13, 2021 12:34 am

Perhaps it’s data mining?

Last edited 10 months ago by Redge
Reply to  John
November 12, 2021 10:13 am

“Global weirding” was coined by American environmentalist Hunter Lovins, and was popularised by the New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman in 2010. It is used to describe how climate change is causing severe adverse weather events.
More likely we are experiencing ‘Global climate science weirding’ as practiced by the weirdo scientists suffering from the Mannic climatic depression.

Reply to  John
November 12, 2021 10:20 am

Yes – the English language term “bomb cyclone” is completely unrelated to the weather phenomenon it refers to …. but it sounds a helluva lot more threatening than “a storm”.

If this weren’t obvious propaganda, and if “a storm” is not satisfactory to weather reporters, they could have renamed it “a big storm” or “a strong storm”.

Reply to  Duane
November 12, 2021 10:48 am

Our News media,s favorite saying is ” a weather bomb struck the area “.
Usually a storm with strong winds and heavy rain that can occur with out tropical cyclones tracking south and affecting northern New Zealand in our summer months .
My grandchildren are incredulous when I tell them about the flood that hit the central North Island in February 1958 before globull warming was ever thought about.
If it happened now it would be described as an “atomic weather bomb ” and it would be al our fault,

Alastair Brickell
Reply to  Graham
November 12, 2021 12:14 pm

Gosh Graham,

Don’t give them ideas!

-‘atomic weather bomb’, maybe even the dreaded ‘nuclear weather bomb’ is on the horizon (but of course the latter would be banned in our nuclear free NZ). Maybe we should make a list and patent all these terms and make some money out of all this…they certainly are…

Joseph Zorzin
Reply to  Duane
November 13, 2021 2:19 am

and the Nazis had storm troopers…

Pat from Kerbob
Reply to  John
November 12, 2021 11:01 am

Polar vortex, in reality a cold winter high pressure system which happens forever.

The real lesson from Griff, is you take the average of any phenomenon (floods, temp, tornados, rain, hurricanes, etc), then anything that deviates outside of the average is EXTREME.

The benefit is that all weather then becomes extreme because there mostly is zero average weather.
Its so easy.

Gunga Din
Reply to  John
November 12, 2021 4:13 pm

Just this morning The Storm Channel used “atmospheric river” to describe the rain in the US’s North West.
They neglected to mention that the US’s North West is a Temporal Rain Forest.
Nothing new about rain in Seattle. Just a new term to make it sound like something has changed.
PS In Northern California is Sequoia National Forest, home some of the oldest (up to 2,000 years?) and tallest trees in the entire world. It is a “Temporal Rain Forest”.
“Atmospheric river” may be a new name for what we now understand what brings the rain, but it is nothing new. No “Climate Change” involved.

Tombstone Gabby
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 12, 2021 4:33 pm

G’Day Gunga Din,

Nothing new about rain in Seattle.

I was in Seattle in the early 70’s, First morning I asked the desk clerk, “What’s the weather forecast?”

“If you can see the mountain, it’s going to rain. If you can’t see the mountain, it already is.”

Joseph Zorzin
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 13, 2021 2:21 am

A local TV station in Mass. calls its weather persons “The Storm Team”.

November 12, 2021 8:31 am

We are in the [Autumnal] catastrophe phase.

I’m keeping an eye open for when there might be some wind.

For now the only source of that seems to be Joe Biden

PRESIDENT Joe Biden reportedly broke wind “loudly” while gassing with Camilla Parker Bowles at the COP26 summit.

The Duchess of Cornwall “hasn’t stopped talking about” the 78-year-old’s “long fart” as it was “impossible to ignore”, it’s reported.”

Last edited 10 months ago by fretslider
alastair gray
Reply to  fretslider
November 12, 2021 9:03 am

She spends enough time with a windy old fart to appreciate a fresh bit of flatulence. It might be that for both of these eejits what comes out of their bottoms makes more sense than what comes out of their mouths.
If ventriliquism is leterally from the Latin “Speaking from the belly” then can I term a new word anuliquism also from the Latin “Speaking from ones anus” as seen spectacularly recently in Glasgow . To put it colloquially in Weegee terms ” Yer mooth’s a’ broon Jimmy”

Jack Black
Reply to  alastair gray
November 15, 2021 10:38 am

We are “ruled” by Lavvie Heids 🙄

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  fretslider
November 12, 2021 1:14 pm

We are in the [Autumnal] catastrophe phase.

Speak for yourself, hemispherist!

November 12, 2021 8:34 am

And today, as Russian troops mass on the borders of the Ukraine, Poland strengthens its borders, the UK sends a small army detachment to assist, the US reactivates its nuclear artillery force in Germany, what is the BBC and the NY Times most worried about?

You guessed it, global warming. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is happening.

Gregory Woods
Reply to  michel
November 12, 2021 8:42 am

Fear and doom – if it ain’t one thing, then it will be something else. I remember hiding under my desk during the 50’s. Some things never change…

Reply to  Gregory Woods
November 12, 2021 5:50 pm

Yes #me too.

But the biggest threat I fear in today’s world inhabited by wall-to-wall catastrophists is the number of people who live every day with their heads firmly planted up their arse.

(found mostly in academia, education and bureaucracy)

Reply to  Gregory Woods
November 13, 2021 12:39 am

 I remember hiding under my desk during the 50’s.

I do this now to get away from the perennially woke

Reply to  michel
November 12, 2021 9:28 am

Well, the clock is ticking to make big moves by Russia and China while Old Joe is “in charge” at the WH. Let the map makers know to get ready to redraw the lines and make sure the MSM is looking the other way.

Reply to  ResourceGuy
November 12, 2021 9:40 am

It has eerie echoes of 1914. Populations with totally unrealistic expectations of what a modern war would be. Ruling establishments in denial about where the steps they were taking would lead. One thing leading to another.

Both Taiwan and the Ukraine more or less simultaneously must be at least possible. Not sure how likely. But probably getting more likely all the time.

And meanwhile they are all in Glasgow talking about how climate is the great emergency and proposing to destroy their economies in pursuit of some imaginary green virtue, while everyone outside the EU, US and Australia-NZ liberal-left circles just stares in disbelief and pretends to go along with stuff they don’t believe a word of.

Reply to  michel
November 12, 2021 9:01 pm

Trump met with Kim Jong Un -twice-and declared peace in our time as he had an agreement

Reply to  Duker
November 13, 2021 1:22 am

A very very razor sharp efficient peace move/event.
Can’t have that every other day though.


Last edited 10 months ago by whiten
Trying to Play Nice
Reply to  Duker
November 13, 2021 7:45 am

I think the difference being that Trump spoke through strength, not weakness and fear.

Reply to  michel
November 12, 2021 10:18 am

It’s all American fault, they voted Donald Trump out of office!

Reply to  Vuk
November 12, 2021 10:42 am

One question is, did the insurrection fail or succeed?

Rory Forbes
Reply to  Vuk
November 12, 2021 1:59 pm

I’m pretty sure they didn’t.

Reply to  Vuk
November 12, 2021 9:02 pm

Trumps people signed the Taleban surrender in Doha. Do you want another Trump deal?

Reply to  Duker
November 13, 2021 8:51 pm

You mean the deal that we withdrew before fighting season in Afghanistan, rather than in the middle of it to make good TV? Yeah.

Tom Abbott
Reply to  Duker
November 14, 2021 7:56 am

I would take the Trump deal.

If Trump were still in office and the Taliban had not complied with the requirements of the agreement, then the U.S. would still be in Afghanistan until they did comply.

That was the deal. You know it was the deal. You posted the Doha agreement not long ago which says just what I said it says.

The only deadline to the agreement was the Taliban complying with the agreement. No final U.S. withdrawal until that happened.

Biden threw all that out the window, and ordered the military out and damn the consequences.

Now we get to watch new horror stories every day about things that are happening to the innocent people of Afghanistan. All this misery brought to us by the fool, Joe Biden.

Reply to  michel
November 12, 2021 8:46 pm

No US nuclear artillery in Germany

Gunga Din
Reply to  Duker
November 13, 2021 9:17 am

Are you implying the US ever did have “nuclear artillery” in Germany?
Atomic Annie was developed and fired one and only one shot in trials.
Never deployed anywhere.

Tom Abbott
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2021 8:03 am

I lived on a NATO nuclear base in Germany, Wildflicken. It was supposed to be the center of defense for the Fulda Gap, where it was thought that Soviet tanks would attack if a war started.

The U.S. was going to use neutron bombs on the Soviet tank divisions.

We had practice NATO nuclear war alerts on a regular basis, since Wildflicken would be a primary target in a war, and our response to this would be to evacuate the base as quickly as possible, so as to live to fight another day. Which we did.

James Bull
November 12, 2021 8:45 am

I’ve ordered my calendars and looking forward to starting each month with a laugh as I go through mine and sending the others as great Christmas presents.

James Bull

Ron Long
November 12, 2021 8:50 am

In Eugene, Oregon, where my brother lives, it has rained for 20 of the last 30 days, and yesterday rained 1.4 inches, producing flood warnings, the official, weekly adjusted, climate designation is “Extreme Drought”. That’s Climate Newspeak in action.

Reply to  Ron Long
November 12, 2021 9:16 am

10 days no rain is a drought, or not ? 😀

Mike Sexton
Reply to  Ron Long
November 12, 2021 10:27 am

We’ve had a lot of rain here lately more on the way

Gerald Machnee
Reply to  Ron Long
November 12, 2021 2:01 pm

If it comes from Hawaii, it has been called the “Pineapple Express”.

Tom Halla
November 12, 2021 9:19 am

We in Texas had nearly two feet of global warming last February.

Ireneusz Palmowski
November 12, 2021 9:21 am

Forecasts indicate that Greenland may experience the lowest recorded temperatures in the first half of November.comment image

Reply to  Ireneusz Palmowski
November 12, 2021 9:31 am

I assume the “Greenland is melting fast!” teams are safely away from there now.

Pat from Kerbob
Reply to  Ireneusz Palmowski
November 12, 2021 11:05 am

GAAAAH, keep that purple crap away from me here in Calgary, we hates it precious.

Rich Davis
Reply to  Pat from Kerbob
November 12, 2021 1:15 pm

Sneaky little climastrologistses!
Wicked, tricksy, false.

Tom Abbott
Reply to  Pat from Kerbob
November 14, 2021 8:08 am

Yes, that purple stuff will slowly circle around our way. Not looking forward to that.

Jack Black
Reply to  Pat from Kerbob
November 15, 2021 10:42 am

There’s a lot of Yellow Stuff on the West Coast & in the European Union …. Just saying, that’s all. 🤔

Reply to  Ireneusz Palmowski
November 12, 2021 6:04 pm

Thankfully my Lake Ontario is keeping things in the ‘green’. 😗

H. D. Hoese
November 12, 2021 9:24 am

That nails it, of course uncertainty, but the risk is from both high and low flows. Thompson, J. R., et al., 2021. Increasing Risk of Ecological Change to Major Rivers of the World With Global Warming. Earth’s Future. Open Access 9(1):e2021EF002048

From the abstract–“The study highlights the ecological fragility and spatial heterogeneity of the risks that unmitigated climate change poses to global river ecosystems.” The usual from the text–“However, the level of likelihood (>60%) for medium-high risk of ecological change with climate change suggests that it would be prudent to put measures in place that enhance the resilience of rivers and their ecosystems to global warming.”

Joe Gordon
November 12, 2021 9:44 am

Hmmm… 40% chance of rain tonight. The NOAA is referring to it as an “Indiscriminate Projectile Disruption.”

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Joe Gordon
November 12, 2021 1:18 pm

“Indiscriminate Projectile Disruption.”

Why does that remind me of the hilarious video of a chimp that gets hold of an AK47?

Tom Abbott
Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
November 14, 2021 8:13 am

I saw a monkey in Vietnam jerk an M-16 rifle out of the hands of a soldier that was annoying him by poking the barrel at him. The monkey was chained by the neck to a tree with about 20 feet of chain. He was a personal pet of one of our officers.

Happily, the monkey didn’t find the trigger, he just used it as a club to try to hit the soldier back.

It was pretty funny, actually.

Last edited 10 months ago by Tom Abbott
November 12, 2021 9:49 am

The second illustration is pretty much the UK weather these days, because of climate change.

you can find a summary of climate effects on the UK here, from UK Met Office

Climate change continues to be evident across UK – Met Office

Joe Gordon
Reply to  griff
November 12, 2021 10:02 am

Expecting anything different from the Met Office would be like walking into a church and expecting a collegial discussion of the pros and cons of Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw.

M Courtney
Reply to  Joe Gordon
November 12, 2021 4:23 pm

Ravenclaw forever!

Jack Black
Reply to  M Courtney
November 15, 2021 10:47 am

….or Falconhoof 🤣

Reply to  griff
November 12, 2021 10:16 am

Weather doesn’t change because of climate change, at least not from one day to another, but within at least 30 years. You may repeat your whining every day, it isn’t changing anything.

Met Office and predictions, hmmmm, not their best discipline…..
Comparable to BBC

Last edited 10 months ago by Krishna Gans
Climate believer
Reply to  Krishna Gans
November 13, 2021 12:12 am

It’s utter chaos……..oh…

England spring rainfall.gif
Climate believer
Reply to  Climate believer
November 13, 2021 12:19 am

….but the drought! the summer it’s like a desse..r…t….oh

Climate believer
Reply to  Climate believer
November 13, 2021 12:28 am

…and then there’s more and more stor…m…s………. {sigh} oh.

Reply to  griff
November 12, 2021 11:08 am

Griffo old boy
Last 30 years of negligible temperature rise was cause by increased impact of Galactic Cosmic Rays, all due to decline in the sunspot count as the relevant data shows:
comment image
Increase in GCR caused increased cloudiness (see Svensmark), increasing albedo and water vapour (by far the strongest effect of all GHG). Increase in cloudiness albedo is meliorated by reduction in global ice and consequently fall in its albedo, so water vapour won contest on this occasion. There you are ‘global warming for dummies- light’

Ireneusz Palmowski
Reply to  Vuk
November 12, 2021 11:45 am

I’m not sure what the satellites are measuring. When the tropopause lowers in winter radiation to space due to turbidity must increase.

Joao Martins
Reply to  griff
November 12, 2021 1:09 pm

When I lived for a whie in England, Britons used to tell that UK does not have a climate, it only has weather.

I guess those older Britons that I have met then, almost 50 years ago, were very well informed (both scientifically and commonsensically) about their country and the place where they lived.

Follow their example, griff, study a little bit of geography… Oh, yes, a bit of history would also help! It would be better for you, for your health, and for our patience, if you indulged a little more on acquiring scientific knowledge and stopped listening to the garbage that BBC, the Met Office, the Guardian, etc., now throw into our ears.

Last edited 10 months ago by Joao Martins
Chris Hanley
Reply to  griff
November 12, 2021 1:11 pm

What, the UK with 11,018 wind turbines, a total installed capacity of over 24.3 gigawatts, 13.9 gigawatts of onshore capacity and 10.4 gigawatts of offshore capacity, the sixth largest capacity of any country in 2019, hasn’t stopped the UK climate from changing yet?

Rory Forbes
Reply to  griff
November 12, 2021 2:05 pm

Simply put, you couldn’t distinguish a “climate effect” from a spring day any more than you can show evidence of “climate change”.

Jack Black
Reply to  Rory Forbes
November 15, 2021 10:54 am

But surely it’s now Climate Mitigation, err Climate Emergency, err Tacking Climate, err Climate Remission… What is it they’re calling the weather these days anyhoo?

Climate COP Discombobulation ?

Phillip Bratby
Reply to  griff
November 13, 2021 12:02 am

I remember the Met Office’s forecast of a “Barbecue Summer” – one of the worst summers I can remeber.

Jack Black
Reply to  Phillip Bratby
November 15, 2021 10:59 am

“…. a lady called in and said there’s a hurricane on its way (because her bunion’s playing up, or something?); there’s no need to worry Mrs. *****, because I can assure you it’s not” – Michael Fish (Met Office TV “forecaster”). Soon followed one of the biggest storms ever seen in the United Kingdom.

Reply to  griff
November 13, 2021 6:08 pm

And yet they still don’t have vineyards as far north as they did 1,000 years ago. I guess the Medieval English just had better technology and weather forecasting.

Tom Abbott
Reply to  griff
November 14, 2021 8:20 am

“because of climate change.”

You’re so funny, Griff.

November 12, 2021 10:16 am

Weather is not climate!
Unless it’s bad weather.

November 12, 2021 10:17 am

Great! It’s always good to skewer and mock the self-righteous twits pushing warmunism.

George Orwell coined a term for this kind of stuff – he called it “Newspeak”.

The intellectual purpose of Newspeak is to make Ingsoc-approved thoughts the only expressible thoughts. As constructed, Newspeak’s vocabulary communicates the exact expression of sense and meaning that a member of the Party could wish to express. It excludes secondary denotations and connotations. The linguistic simplification of Oldspeak into Newspeak was realised with neologisms, the elimination of ideologically undesirable words, and the elimination of the politically unorthodox meanings of words.[1]: 310 

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Duane
November 12, 2021 1:20 pm

Double plus good!

November 12, 2021 10:28 am

China is experiencing 116 years unprecedented global warming eventcomment image

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Vuk
November 12, 2021 1:22 pm

This is a direct result of the reduction in CO2 outputs of China caused by their refusal to buy Australian coal. Climate Scientology in action!

November 12, 2021 11:16 am

Winter is now POLAR VORTEX!

Alarmists and the media (but I repeat myself) constantly grope for scarier- sounding superlatives and we wonder why anxiety, mental illness, and suicide is on the rise in Western countries. Maybe we need some Third World problems to restore perspective and mental health.

Last edited 10 months ago by stinkerp
Ireneusz Palmowski
November 12, 2021 11:56 am

A strong stratospheric strike over the Great Lakes is in the forecast. It’s going to be a hard freeze.comment image

Trying to Play Nice
Reply to  Ireneusz Palmowski
November 13, 2021 7:49 am

Please tell me that’s not true.

Tom Abbott
Reply to  Ireneusz Palmowski
November 14, 2021 8:34 am

Yes, the jet stream is dipping down over the central U.S. Take a look at the river of moisture being brought up from the Hawaii Islands.,33.67,350

November 12, 2021 12:13 pm

Pretty soon the term “bomb cyclone” will lose its power, such as it has been, to scare people enough to turn over full control over over our lives to the warmunist apparatchiks.

Consequently within a few years the term for powerful storms will morph into “nuclear holocaust cyclones”.

And if that doesn’t do the trick, then the warmunists will double dog dare us to refuse to submit by going all the way to “super nova cyclone”, or even “big bang cyclone”.

November 12, 2021 12:14 pm

Five worst enemies of socialism: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Capitalism.

Reply to  Curious George
November 12, 2021 8:08 pm

Five worst enemies of socialism: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Capitalism Free Enterprise.

There, I fixed it for you.

Rory Forbes
Reply to  Drake
November 15, 2021 12:54 pm

Well caught. If we’re going to criticize having our language gradually eroded by socialism, we must stop using their words. We have a free market economy, not capitalism.

Ireneusz Palmowski
November 12, 2021 10:40 pm

Panic works through bright colors.comment image

November 12, 2021 11:36 pm

In Australia we are being bombarded (sorry) by rain bombs, cyclone bombs,
and many other adjectives designed to put the fear of Godinto people.
This last week we had so many days of these bomb forecasts. On the Gold Coast we had a grand total of less than about 15mm. Sure, there were severe storms in places, but rain bombs? Give me a break.

November 13, 2021 4:53 am

Okay, so let me see if I understand how to participate in this stuff that wouldn’t even pass kindergarten level when I was 4:

1 – Everything is a disaster waiting to happen.

2 – Hoomans and their ilk are responsible for excess CO2 production, so they should all wear rebreather equipment.

3 – 48% of the H. Sapiens population is nuts and should be kept in a closed environment such as metropolitan cities and NOT let out, and fed plants and nothing else. And they could be recycled. (What….? You never heard about “Soylent Green”? Awwww……)

5A – Aldous Huxley was right. So were Heinlein and Asimov and that other fellow, you know, what’s his name – something about “sick or well” (pun intended).

#723 (c)e The rest of us can breathe a sigh of relief that the loons are finally exposed for the babbling, scrabbling cranks that they are, and should be kept isolated from the rest of us. They all make Sauron look like a piker. And no offense meant to the REAL loons, who make spooky noises in the morning when the fog is lifting off the water.

#!4255s – Everything is a disaster waiting to happen.

Glad I finally understand how the whole thing works! But it’s a sad, sad day when someone can come up with a cartoon that tells us how the Climate Looneys really think. This, too, shall end, my children, when they show up on your doorstep looking for food and warmth and are turned away because they don’t got no skills or learning….

Last edited 10 months ago by Sara
Gunga Din
Reply to  Sara
November 13, 2021 9:40 am

Kerry at the present COPout, introduced the danger’s of Man’s Methane emissions. (And, no, he wasn’t aiming at the bean burrito you ate last night.)
I suspect that, since all the predictions of what Man’s CO2 emissions should have caused by now have fallen flat, he’s opening the door to restrict and control Man’s food. (Cows and other domesticated animals.)
The idea that Man is causing CAGW/Climate Change etc. has been planted. Now it’s time to switch to controlling something else that works and screw it up.
Just a thought.

Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2021 5:52 am

Well, Prezzy Biteme DID do his best to express the dangers of Man’s Methane emissions when he was up close and personal with Camill Parker Bowles this past weekend.

I’ve no idea if it was a prolonged squawk or a short toot, but I’m sure Mrs. Prince Charles had something to say later on, e.g., “Where in the world did they find that old codger?”

Tom Abbott
Reply to  Sara
November 14, 2021 8:42 am

It’s said she can’t stop talking about it. That may be because everyone she runs into asks her about it.

November 13, 2021 8:04 am

Anyone know if Josh does prints for framing? Totally asking for a… um, a friend. Yes. A friend. My friend wants to hang a few of Josh’s illustrations on his office wall. Crazy friend, he is. Heh.

Reply to  leowaj
November 14, 2021 5:55 am

I’d like it as a tee shirt, but I also want a t-shirt with magpies on it, because magpies’ dark feathers reflect all the base colors (red, blue, and green) in photography. Bodaciously beautiful birds and brilliantly colored in black & white, plus those feathery prism reflections. And considerably smarter than the entire crowd of dorkish persons in WDC.

November 14, 2021 1:20 pm

The Head of the Hong Kong Meteorological Office, The Hong Kong Observatory, in March 2015, gave a press conference about climate change after the publication of the IPCC’s AR5, at which he raised the issue of how extreme weather events were becoming more frequent and dangerous and emphasised this by mentioning that 10,000 people were killed by a typhoon that struck Hong Kong in erm 1875. That’s how ridiculous this has become.

Jack Black
Reply to  Geb
November 15, 2021 11:03 am

There’s no need to fear a Typhoon. Simply delete the letter “n”, and have a nice cup of refreshing Tea…

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