Friday Funny: Madden Now Allows You To Select Greta Thunberg As Your QB

Reposted with permission from The Babylon Bee

September 8th, 2020

REDWOOD CITY, CA—Sports fans and gamers around the world are jubilant after EA Sports’ recent announcement that they will be adding Greta Thunberg as a playable quarterback in Madden NFL 21.

“After we added socially conscious non-football-player Colin Kaepernick as a playable QB on every team in Madden, we realized we didn’t have to stop there,” said EA’s CEO Andrew Wilson. “We are thrilled to be adding Greta Thunberg to the mix as a tremendously overpowered character! With every down, Greta will help Madden fans remember how terrible they are for killing the planet.”

According to developers, Madden NFL 21 will require players to select either Thunberg or Kaepernick as their quarterback every time. If a player refuses, the game will require them to purchase carbon credit loot crates or risk being doxed and banned from all multiplayer servers forever.

Sources have confirmed that Thunberg’s stats will even be higher than Colin Kaepernick’s already maxed-out stats. She will shriek and scream “how dare you!” or “you’ve ruined my childhood!” every time she is tackled. Players who tackle her will receive a 15-yard penalty since tackling a child is wrong. Any player who selects either character will have the option of pressing “X” at any time during a game to start a riot on the field and end the game.

Several proposed future additions to Madden NFL 21‘s roster include Rosie O’Donnell, Alyssa Milano, Jussie Smollett, Michael Moore, and the baby from the beloved children’s classic Anti-Racist Baby.

In an announcement on Twitter, EA Sports said, “We are proud to be a part of making American football a more inclusive place for influential people, as well as for anyone who still remembers what the heck American football is.”

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Steve Case
September 17, 2020 6:24 am

Uh what’s this doing on WattsUpWithThat?

SMC
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 7:14 am

Giving people with a sense of humor a bit of a chuckle?

2hotel9
Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 7:39 am

This may get me to try out Madden Football. Their have a gold mine of prospective new additions. This could get real fun.

Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 8:03 am

Really not my sense of humor, can’t laugh about.
But it shows, what idiot Andrew Wilson seems to be…

Mike Rossander
Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 10:07 am

This would be mildly amusing as an April Fools Day article.

On any other day of the year, it’s just irritating. Please don’t.

commieBob
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 7:18 am

“Satire acts like an overhead projector, taking something that people usually ignore and projecting it up on the wall for everyone to see. It forces us to look at things we wouldn’t normally look at and makes us ask if we’re okay with them.” link

It’s important, and good news IMHO, that folks can find humor in the Greta phenomenon.

Joel Snider
Reply to  commieBob
September 17, 2020 8:02 am

Perhaps – but I find less and less to be amused by – and I see much more ominous overtones in people like Greta. Because they’re growing up and they’re not kidding.

AOC is in congress. And if Biden gets in, she will likely be within reach of a cabinet position.

These people are from hell and can’t wait to show it.

SMC
Reply to  Joel Snider
September 17, 2020 8:49 am

“These people are from hell and can’t wait to show it.’

I agree. But, having a chuckle or even an outright laugh about some absurdity is good for the health. When you can do it at the expense of those you oppose, even better. As long as it doesn’t cause folks to minimize or dismiss the threat people like Thunberg and AOC represent then I say ridicule, satirize and laugh at them when imagination and opportunity presents itself.

Joel Snider
Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 9:20 am

Oh, I understand the psychological benefit – it’s just lately, I find myself unable to avail myself of much levity.

Although, I have been doing a hell of a lot of push-ups. You use what coping methods you can find, I guess.

SMC
Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 9:47 am

Heh. With all the bovine fecal matter flying around everywhere… I hope (probably in vain) the election will put a damper on the hurricane of bovine scat.

Joel Snider
Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 1:53 pm

‘I hope (probably in vain) the election will put a damper on the hurricane of bovine scat.’

From your mouth to God’s ear.

John Endicott
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 8:50 am

What part of “Friday Funny” did you fail to comprehend?

Eben
Reply to  John Endicott
September 17, 2020 11:51 am

The part that it is Thursday

John Endicott
Reply to  Eben
September 18, 2020 11:59 am

What day you read it is irrelevant. The point is it’s appropriately labeled as being humor. No point in showing how humorless you are by complaining about it’s existence.

2hotel9
Reply to  John Endicott
September 19, 2020 7:24 am

And yet they will insist they get jokes.(all the while wondering why everyone is looking at them and laughing)

Trying to Play Nice
Reply to  John Endicott
September 18, 2020 6:33 am

It’s from the Babylon Bee, more trusted for news than CNN and the NYT /sarc off.

MarkW
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 9:01 am

Most of us find it funny. If you don’t like it, feel free to not read any article that might offend you.

Joel O'Bryan
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 10:33 am

She’s Greta the climate whiner and finger wagger. She can do anything Steve. CNN even named Greta as an expert on their COVID-19 panel.

The only problem I have with this is the day, made me check my watch in case I’d slept though and missed Thursday.
I guess it’s Friday though in Australia and NZ now though. But not in the US however.

Patrick MJD
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
September 17, 2020 3:53 pm

Yep! Certainly was a Friday funny for me.

Frank Ewing
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 10:35 am

I came within a frog’s butt hair of believing it.

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 10:51 am

People STILL don’t know that the Babylon Bee is all satire??

Having said that, it would be awesome to have your 350lb defensive linemen sack the crap out of her. SQUISH!

Gunga Din
Reply to  Jeff Alberts
September 17, 2020 4:38 pm

So the Babylon Bee is akin to The Onion?
Glad that Grrrrreeta hasn’t invaded the virtual sports world.

sycomputing
Reply to  Gunga Din
September 17, 2020 6:02 pm

So the Babylon Bee is akin to The Onion?

Only in terms of genre. The Bee has a decidedly conservative Christian bent, which I assume you’d enjoy:

https://babylonbee.com/news/categories/church

https://babylonbee.com/news/categories/christian-living

mike macray
Reply to  Steve Case
September 17, 2020 2:41 pm

Steve Case:
If you don’t get it then what’s the use?!
Cheers
Mike

Bryan A
September 17, 2020 6:27 am

How Dare You!!!

Buckeyebob
September 17, 2020 6:28 am

Chase Young (Washington Redskins) will grind her bones into powder and use it as fertilizer.

Interested Observer
Reply to  Buckeyebob
September 17, 2020 7:24 am

Washington Who? (They should have called themselves the Washington Team Football or the Washington Football Youth; the acronyms would have been better.)

I know this is a joke article but, it really does seem as if the NFL wants to get broke by going woke. They will change their tune when they see their revenue stream dry up because, people don’t watch sport to be lectured about politics. Fans will tune out, turn off and drop out in droves. They better find a way to fix stupid quickly or they will lose a lot of money.

jdgalt
Reply to  Interested Observer
September 17, 2020 7:40 am

If they keep it up until Trump is out of office, maybe he will resurrect the USFL and actually make money at it!

Pillage Idiot
Reply to  Buckeyebob
September 17, 2020 7:31 am

But then Greta will be an even bigger hero.

All of the players will then have to try to fit the name Greta Thunberg in that little white space on the back of their helmets!

Scissor
September 17, 2020 6:33 am

They should add Kamala Harris also because she takes two knees.

SMC
Reply to  Scissor
September 17, 2020 7:15 am

Naw, she would spend too much time on her back in a sack.

icisil
Reply to  SMC
September 17, 2020 7:46 am

Kamalatoe performs well in any position, but the key to her success can be summed up: “To get ahead you have to give a little.”

Kenji
Reply to  icisil
September 17, 2020 8:30 am

I thought she said … “to get ahead, you have to give some head”? Willie Brown was unavailable for comment.

Ed Zuiderwijk
September 17, 2020 7:07 am

That made my day.

2hotel9
September 17, 2020 7:08 am

Too funny!!! Ridicule and derision, very effective weapons against the left.

beng135
September 17, 2020 7:15 am

Greta’s going the way of Amer football — fading obscurity & irrelevance.

Derg
Reply to  beng135
September 17, 2020 1:52 pm

Global warming has officially jumped the shark

Gordon A. Dressler
September 17, 2020 7:19 am

Uhhhh . . . what is Madden NFL 21?

2hotel9
Reply to  Gordon A. Dressler
September 17, 2020 7:41 am

A video game that appears set to out sell real NFL season at this rate.

jdgalt
September 17, 2020 7:38 am

The game should give us the option to play somebody who gains from all of this PC nonsense. But since it seems to affect all the major sports, and TV and movies too, I can’t think of anybody who gains except the Grinch.

mark from the midwest
September 17, 2020 7:48 am

In the NFL Combine they always talk about metrics, like arm length, and performance in specific drills, as well as the cognitive testing to determine their ability to process simple spatial situations.

Unfortunately, for Greta, none of the NFL’s metrics include the ability to spew hot air.

Albert
September 17, 2020 8:06 am

It’s from the Babylon Bee. It’s satire. It’s a joke. It’s fake.

It’s funny but it does it belong here?

sycomputing
Reply to  Albert
September 17, 2020 8:23 am

Yes it belongs here, and even all of that which isn’t on the “Categories” list, but nevertheless the site owner deems belongs here:

https://wattsupwiththat.com/category/fun_stuff/

https://wattsupwiththat.com/category/fake-news/

Good grief.

Craig
Reply to  Albert
September 17, 2020 8:48 am

The funniest part is that the joke is less ridiculous than the reality of the NFL today.

Jim Whelan
September 17, 2020 8:06 am

A lot of us might buy that just to watch Greta being virtually creamed by blitzing 300 lb linebackers every play.

icisil
Reply to  Jim Whelan
September 17, 2020 8:35 am

Teammate veteran Kamala Harris to rookie Greta: “Listen honey, that’s a feature, not a bug.”

SMC
Reply to  icisil
September 17, 2020 9:50 am

As long as her BC is up to date. Wouldn’t want her eligibility for a Darwin Award to lapse.

Rah
September 17, 2020 8:11 am

It is funny but the NFL is dead to me. Done with all of the major professional sports that use a ball. Also done with NASCAR. Still Love the sprint and midget racing. I suspect taking a knee at those races would be hazardous to ones health.

Reply to  Rah
September 17, 2020 2:14 pm

So far Golf hasn’t taken a knee – watch the US Open this weekend…(except for Michael Williams-BLM?)

– JPP

LdB
September 17, 2020 8:36 am

We could add a couple more local players.

The Griff he just runs around calling out “the ice is melting” with tears in his eyes sobbing “what about the polar bears”.
The Ghalfrut yells out “You are selfish” everytime someone receives the ball and then goes off for lie down.
The Loydo just randomly runs around in the same circle on the field yelling “Climate change”
The Nick Stokes he comes out redefines all the rules so only he knows what they are and the score is whatever he defines it as.

Mumbles McGuirck
Reply to  LdB
September 18, 2020 5:16 am

No, Loydo squats and takes a dump on 50 yard line. Or 55 yard line in Canadian version.
Speaking of which, when will EA Sports allow us to select Johnny Football about QB? 😂

Coach Springer
September 17, 2020 8:36 am

Does it belong here? Is this site banned from the politics of climate change?

September 17, 2020 8:38 am

Friday?

Carl Friis-Hansen
Reply to  Wayne Raymond
September 17, 2020 9:50 am

Friday? ===> That was part of the fun.
I was in a call with a supplier right after reading this Friday Funny. Told mistakenly it was Friday today.

Hope Saint Greta is handling the football better than climate science.

SMC
Reply to  Wayne Raymond
September 17, 2020 9:51 am

It’s 5pm on Friday somewhere…

Jeff Labute
September 17, 2020 8:51 am

Does EA pay Greta to use her face?

ResourceGuy
September 17, 2020 10:30 am

Is helmet spiking allowed?

MarkW
Reply to  ResourceGuy
September 17, 2020 2:50 pm

Before or after removing the helmet?

Moderately Cross of East Anglia
September 17, 2020 11:32 am

Please don’t underestimate the value of laughing at these people. Abuse and science they bat away with returned interest. Faced with laughter which corrodes and punctures their posturing self- importance they become enraged and uncomfortable. Charlie Chaplin and the Great Dictator remains a valuable pointer.
Pile it on, planet savers have no sense of humility or humour and need to be reminded of that frequently.

icisil
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
September 17, 2020 12:00 pm

There are two things that progressives absolutely cannot stand: 1) being ignored, and 2) being laughed at. Carry on and keep up the good work.

Reply to  icisil
September 17, 2020 2:19 pm

A couple of other things they cannot stand:
1. Fox News
2. Candace Owens
3. Ben Shapiro
4. Naomi Seibt
5. etc.

– JPP

Reply to  Jon P Peterson
September 17, 2020 5:58 pm

I have sent videos by Naomi Seibt to at least 5 of my leftist friends,
(most of my friends are left Dems)
All of them stand with Greta – go figure. . .
One of them is a physics, math, computer scientist PHD, retired professor.
Go figure again. . .

– JPP

dmacleo
September 17, 2020 12:10 pm

heh heh friday funny on a thursday seems to have messed with people.
the bee is a riot.

Bruce Cobb
September 17, 2020 12:46 pm

Beep-beep boop beep-boop! This just in! The much-disgraced so-called “Scientific American” has disgraced itself again by endorsing Biden, giving “President Trump’s well-documented rejection of science” as the primary reason, then dishing out all of the nauseating, TDS-inspired, Democrat astro-turf spin we so adore.
Now back to your regularly-scheduled programming starring Gretta How-Dare-You Thunderpants.

High Treason
September 17, 2020 2:38 pm

More to the point, why not have Greta’s trademark “How dare you” as the ring tone on your phone. It will be very appropriate when a scam call comes in. Perhaps Malcolm Roberts-“Show me the evidence.”
We are counting down the days until Greta turns 18 (3 months and 15 days) and loses her status as Child High Priestess of the Climate Cult of Doom and Gloom. Her fibs and tantrums can no longer be tolerated. After all, fibs and tantrums in particular are her trademark. Acceptable for a minor, but not an adult. You do have to wonder how warmists can veritably worship tantrums.
Poor Greta, COVID and the US election are dominating the news propaganda cycle. With whatever new fear campaign comes out just after the election, it will be too near to Christmas to regain any traction.

Craig from Oz
Reply to  High Treason
September 17, 2020 8:23 pm

(checks)

Well there you go, I was under the impression she was a February child.

To be honest I am a bit nervous about Greta becoming an adult. I guess you could argue that she is already an adult because in her own words her children was stolen, but you get my point.

On the plus side she will no longer be able to play the ‘child’ card.

On the scary side she will now legally be an ‘adult’ and hence legally be allowed to do ‘adult’ things. And by ‘adult’ I am referring to stuff like getting shirtless, writing ‘HOW DARE YOU’ all over your collar bones and then posting the photos to Twit as part of a Stunning and Brave personal protest.

Remember there is ample proof that the less attention an ‘activist’ is getting the more likely they are to perform these sorts of stunts.

Be afraid.

EternalOptimist
September 17, 2020 2:54 pm

Thats hilarous. good job

old construction worker
September 17, 2020 11:11 pm

I don’t get why Colin Kaepernick and other U.S football players kneel. Our Flag represent our form of government and our Bill of Rights which gives them the right to protest peacefully, so they must not want our Bill our Bill of Rights and form of government.

Hivemind
Reply to  old construction worker
September 19, 2020 12:44 am

That’s pretty much how it is.

Ed Zuiderwijk
September 18, 2020 12:25 am

Next she will appear in celebrity death match. Against potus or a windmill?

Tom Abbott
September 18, 2020 6:52 am

Don’t forget to include Jane Fonda on the list. She would make a good quarterback. Maybe better than Greta.

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