Reposted with permission from The Babylon Bee
U.S.—A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.
Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels.
“We want to make sure drivers are informed,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. “So we are having them get lectured by a 16-year-old so they will have all the facts before they do something rash like put gasoline in their cars to go to work.”
Once the driver has listened to Thunberg’s entire lecture, they will be prompted to complete a quick, fifteen-question quiz to show they understand how horrible they are for driving a car. Drivers who get at least 80% will then be allowed to refuel their vehicles. As they refuel, the screen will simply play a clip of Thunberg saying, “How dare you!” over and over again.
The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.
Discover more from Watts Up With That?
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
In a moment of sanity, They have amended the bill to allow people with Hybrids to only listen to a 10 minute video.
How many “Hail Gretas” do I need to do, and how many “Our Gores” to fill our heating oil tank for the coming months? I would prefer to skip the hours-long Greta speech, which of course would mean listening to the same perhaps 5-minute harangue over and over. I’m bad.
Hmmmm . . . I wonder what the effect of raw gasoline spouted onto the gas pump’s video display might have?
Just saying . . .
CBC’s Nicole Mortillaro is asking the question in her latest column “technology and Science”:
What is Extinction Rebellion and what does it want?
https://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/extinction-rebellion-1.5312502
As usual just as for Greta’s sudden fame, the CBC never digs deep.
Proof? Even some academic from University of Alberta Political Science cannot answer the question but has some ideas:
LOL Really that’s why XR is growing so fast… With associate profs like this one, why spending tens of thousands of $ for an education!
Mortillaro does call on perennial activist George Monbiot to sell XR.
And the link goes to Monbiot’s blog. Mortillaro’s investigation stops here. No doubt this ICIJ member won’t dig deeper. Too bad since Monbiot is linked to Sir Crispin Tickell, former Chairman of the Thomson Reuters Foundation and great green pusher, who managed to get him some College appointment back then, check Climategate emails… Yes, CBC, the Thomsons, the richest family in Canada… Still not interested digging, Nicole?
XR is also partly funded with support for the Soros network of foundations, the Tides foundation etc… That may also explain why it caught fire so quickly no? NO! https://wattsupwiththat.com/2019/08/03/xr-unglued-cache-of-documents-exposes-green-menace-of-the-extinction-rebellion-xrgate/
The same green foundations that have been waging an info war against Canada’s oil and Gas industry.
https://fairquestions.typepad.com/rethink_campaigns/
When the Soros name was mentioned in the Paradise Papers disclosure, the International Consortium for Investigative Journalists member CBC explained they called the offices of George Soros who… did not return their call. End of story.
That may explain why Mortillaro does not go further in unearthing the deleterious links between billionaires and XR… And why her article serves just a disguised call to arm by an associate professor activist:
Once again, CBC does agitprop under the guise of information. They had prepared the election campaign six months before for their bosses by ramping up the climate crisis with alarmist articles. No mystery polls claim climate is the number one issue…
Could be worse. The law could make you watch Al Gore’s movie. They really should think it through. they could install bicycles hooked to generators and make you ride until you have generated enough electricity to off set the gas purchase. It would be a twofur as it would decease obesity and improve health.
But this is real.
“Corporations told to draw up climate rules or have them imposed
Bank of England governor gives firms two years to agree rules for reporting climate risks
The governor of the Bank of England has warned major corporations that they have two years to agree rules for reporting climate risks before global regulators devise their own and make them compulsory.
Mark Carney said companies should use their next two annual financial reports to road test how they document the impact of the climate emergency on their businesses.
He said progress had been made by many of the largest banks and energy companies to harmonise how they report their risks, but added: “Progress in both quantity and quality is uneven across sectors.”
Speaking in Tokyo at a conference held by the Taskforce on Climate-related Financial Disclosures (TCFD), Carney said there was an appetite among investors to support companies that understand their climate risks following research that showed they were likely to expand at a faster rate.”
“Carney launched the TCFD in 2015 with Michael Bloomberg, the billionaire owner of the financial data provider that carries his name.”
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2019/oct/08/corporations-told-to-draw-up-climate-rules-or-have-them-imposed
The Babylon Bee is hilarious. 🙂
To make electric car charging viable they need to increase the video time to 60 minutes or more and make the quiz 60 written questions. 90% pass to refuel.
It is likely a joke. My guess is MOST gas pump hardware might not even support streaming video to their monochome bitmap display with audio. I think new pump hardware might be around to run ads. They might not want to void the purpose of an ad playing pump for Greta’s sake.
Forcing change on gas stations is certainly not without precedence. That’s why the mom and pop stations disappeared long ago.
Great idea. Many will recoil from this nasty unbalanced insulting drivel and become deniers
Sooner or later California democrats are going to do something really stupid vis a vis climate that will enrage the population.
I see this as satire. Living in CA I have no patience to have to do this. Every time you fuel? Good grief. I would think most liberals would find this action punitive.
This makes perfect sense to me as it weill be part of the attempt to stop people using cars.
Aaagh. This will just give the rotten eco-loons an idea.
Having to stand there waiting, watching, and answering a quiz would take so long, it would add up to about as long as it would take to charge an electric car.
Thus the advantage of the fuel car over the electric car is eliminated.
So you’re fully softened up for when they ban fuel cars altogether.
And in the meantime, you’d only be allowed a ‘ration’ of a few gallons at a time.
No tank filling, you car has to be as useless as an electric car…….
No cash sales either, and you’ll have to swipe your drivers license through the scanner just to make sure your purchases are recorded.
And the video you have to sit through will be like those awful corporate ‘training’ videos, where you have to keep pressing buttons to show you’re awake or it takes longer, and you can’t skip to the quiz at the end,
and the questions are always different so your mate can’t give you the answers to speed things up, and
it’s an awful nightmare.
But you don’t get to wake up…….
Celebrities I’m told are exempt because in the trial, 80% failed the test and the other 20% objected to being told “How dare you”.
Carrying a hammer in your car may come in useful…..
In woe-derful california, gas is over $4 a gallon because
(1) California imports its oil from Saudia Arabia (instead of drilling for our own) and we know what happens in Saudi Arabia doesn’t stay in Saudia Arabia.
(2) Four refineries that rely on Saudi oil are down for “unscheduled” maintenance
(3) California is having to import gas from other fly-over states to meet demand
But don’t worry, prices will drop by Thanksgiving when they go back up because of increased Thanksgiving driving, but be assured they’ll go back down again before Christmas when they go back up again because of increased holiday driving, but rest easy they’ll go back down again until California raises excise taxes on gasoline again next June!
Grab your ankles and smile 🙂
And not far behind from “The Betoota Advocate” just to the west of Cunnamulla, Qld
Greta Thunberg Speech Reminds Conservative Of Other Times Insolent Women Raised Voices At Him
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local conservative voter and staunch climate skeptic, Alan Bolt (55) says he’s all for free speech – but it’s worth noting that throwing a tantrum is a sure fire way to get people off side.
This comes as teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg captures the world’s attention in a fierce and passionate speech at the United Nations headquarters, accusing world leaders of failing to act on climate change.
“This is all wrong. I shouldn’t be up here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean, yet you all come to us young people for hope. How dare you,” said the 16-year-old, her voice trembling with anger at times.
Her speech has infuriated climate change skeptics around the world, who find themselves triggered as they are reminded of times other insolent women raised their voices at them.
“It’s just not helpful” says the semi-retired retailer of white goods from the upper middle class Hillsong enclave of Betoota Heights.
“She’s throwing a tantrum. Speaking into her microphone made of coal and wearing clothes made of other coal products. She’s a complete hypocrite”
“She’s achieving nothing more than getting people offside and encouraging tens of millions of students around the world to protest in the streets every six months”
The Swedish campaigner’s brief address electrified the start of the Climate Action Summit in New York, which she travelled to by boat to shut up the skeptics who feel that proving that she uses aeroplanes means that global warming isn’t real.
The UN event was aimed at mobilising government and business to break international paralysis over carbon emissions, which hit record highs last year despite decades of warnings from scientists.
However, for millions of climate change denying conservatives around the world, most who will die before the true disasters of environmental vandalism rears their heads, Greta Thunberg has only reconfirmed their views that young women should be seen and not heard.
“There’s no use whinging and skipping school” says Alan.
“Even if climate change is real, she isn’t achieving anything by playing the victim card” shouts Alan.
“I never had it easy!” says Alan, who bought his first house on an apprentice wage when Aboriginal people were still considered flora and fauna by Australian law.
“Young people need to stop complaining and finding reasons to throw their toys out of the cot”
I couldn’t tell if this was a parody or not. But I do remember that the Bee is a parody site, so I was mostly convinced it was parody. Thankfully the comments under the article convinced me it was parody. But seriously, you had me worried for a moment. It is something a Californian politician would say and promote.
Yes, it is parody, but one that is uncomfortably close.
One of the ironies of Greta is she comes from Sweden. Sea level in Sweden is falling due to glacial rebound. Stockholm is 59 degrees north lat. So the country on the whole will benefit from warming.
The gas price on the pump in the top picture comes out at $3.94/gallon.
If Californians could still buy gas for anything under $4/gallon, I’m sure they’d be happy to be verbally assaulted by the Little Swedish Nazi-in-training.
The US constitution says somewhere that no foreign prince holds sway over the lands of the union. That also applies to foreign princesses. Any driver confronted by such nonsense should make a citizens arrest of the station’s proprietor for high treason.
So…. If the pump doesn’t play videos? They can’t sell gas?
I suspect that many will hear the last of the agree teen, Grrrrreta, as they fill up their U-Hauls on their way out of those states for good.
TYPO!
…” hear the last of the angry teen, Grrrrreta,”…
Surely somewhere someone’s calendar says it’s “April 1st.”
Yeah, but it’s a novelty calendar where every day is April 1st 😉
You had me going for a while. I know about the Onion, but I never heard of the The Babylon Bee’
It’s not much different from the other proposals in California that I have seen recently….LOL
When I started reading the comments, I then knew it was a joke … LOL
Don’t read the Onion any more. There is enough fake news out there from the MSM, and I got tired of the Onion.
This is the first time I remember that a totally false story was published on WUWT – Thanks Moderator !!!
– JPP
– JPP
Fortunately I had heard of the Babylon Bee before, so knew right away that it was satire, but can well understand why someone who hadn’t would have a hard time realizing it was satire when real ideas pushed by Cali libs can be just as wacked.