Friday Funny: ‘The Devil’s Dictionary of Climate Change’

Of all the threats and dangers in our age of false facts, the most concerning is surely CLIMATE-CRAFT. Devised and driven by global warming and climate alarmists, this new black art has deceived many credulous minds and academies. It now has followers everywhere, from the highest office of the Vatican to the lowest carbon cowboy. CLIMATE-CRAFT is corrupting the language and integrity of enquiry that gave us real knowledge of the world for centuries. It is a master of obfuscation on a grand scale. It promulgates pernicious beliefs and apocalyptic prophecies. Yet the self-styled merchants of doom promoting it do not have infallible insight into the forces that control the Earth’s thermostat, weather or climate.

Don’t be duped by the CLIMATE-CRAFT movement. Discover its shocking secrets, stratagems and much more in this sensational new dictionary. A fearless book that shows how the disciples of climate-craft and guardians of Gaia are distorting the truth and threatening our way of life.” George Lexicon, Institute of Climate Semantics “In science, there is an attempt to clarify; in global warming, language is misused in order to confuse and mislead the public.” Professor Richard Lindzen, atmospheric physicist “An important and timely book.

People like this, running such scare-mongering on an international scale, are dangerous. Every minute we spend confronting them is one they lose in spreading false facts and protecting their multi-billion dollar gravy train. Climate-craft is a greater threat to our survival than nuclear weapons or even climate change itself.” Graeme Rancid, Daily Bile


The Devil’s Dictionary of Climate Change: Wicked words to impress your friends and upset your enemies 

Available on Amazon

About the author:

George Lexicon is director of the Washington-based Institute of Climate Semantics and head of its psycho-linguistic research team. When not deconstructing the twists and turns of climate-craft, Lexicon enjoys camping and communing with nature. He spends his spare time in a summer ashram on Wizard Island in Oregon’s Crater Lake, climbing the great pyramids of Gaia, giving talks on leave-no-trace ethics, or having a beer with Church of Climatology folk at The Barking Dog in Maryland.

50 thoughts on “Friday Funny: ‘The Devil’s Dictionary of Climate Change’

  1. Dihydrogen Oxide is the most pervasive and dominate greenhous gas and every living human is contributing to the problem.

    • Just look as it dissolves things in the kitchen sink: organics and inorganics alike. The stuff is terrible! Support the Ban! Call the EPA!

    • The US navy is researching use of it in developing new delivery methods for weapons of destruction.

  2. Along these same lines, is this marvelous article by a company involved in “thermal analysis and measurement” methods and software. Yes, it’s a SPOOF! But it’s a good “test spoof” to use on “friends” (or enemies). It’s so smoothly done, it “looks real”. If you show it to someone, and they “bite”, you can then explain (note the paragraph as to why “Bitcoin Mining” is being done in Iceland!) “If you are taken in by this because it looks good…think Climate Change, the words and presentations on same.” ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD BITCOINS!

  3. A few entries as examples might be nice. It would allow us to gauge the levels of sarcasm, erudition, etc.

    • Agreed. The term “Denier” should properly be applied to one who denies fossil fuels to humanity. As is —: Well we all know about that!!
      Also the morphing of Warming into Climate Change is another. added to which is the assumption that climate change means increased temperature.

      • “climate change means increased temperature” That’s exactly what it means. Everyone know cooling is just weather.

    • Hey MM

      “Look inside” the Kindle ebook version. You can read definitions up to the Big Data Act 2018 (below).

      Big Data Act 2018, n., an Act of Parliament proposed to reduce the scope for skulduggery during research on big data sets.

      An Act to be read in conjunction with the Climate-craft Act 2018, and to express provision for punishment of persons who fraudulently purport to act as prophets, doomsayers, including practitioners of occult or crafty science; or who claim powers of clairvoyance, prognostication, telepathy or other similar abilities, especially with regard to weather or climate. ETC


  4. However amusing it may be, it’s a little rich for my blood at $30 a pop, especially for a paperback.

    • This is a “trade” paperback (6 x 9 inches). Mass market paperbacks, such as westerns, are 4 x 7 inches. Maybe $9.
      I agree, however that $30 is more than I want to spend. Other books of this size are closer to $15.

      • Guys

        The ebook could be for you. Only $8.03.

        You can “look inside” at: Kindle. Goes up to B and the Big Data Act 2018.


  5. I’ll start:

    Climate Change, n. Weather, esp. bad weather which hasn’t happened in recent memory (usually a month or two), meaning “never before in human history”.
    Weather, n. See Climate Change. Also, any unusually cold or snowy weather, unless caused by Climate Change (see above, Climate Change).

  6. Well, to all ye holier-than-thou activists, it’s worth remembering Lucifer was a fallen angel who thought he knew best.
    It’s not surprising they would embrace his methods.

  7. Friday Funny!!……totally just freaked me out……thought I had lost a day and was supposed to be somewhere right now!

    • Ric

      Lexicon’s inspiration was the Bierce book:

      “Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary was the inspiration for this book. It first appeared in print in 1906 as The Cynic’s Word Book.”

      MM gets a mention under “climate toothpaste”, hockey stick” and “mannsplaining”.


  8. International Emissions Trading Association (IETA), Geneva, Switzerland

    “Our History”

    Begins June, 1999

    To North America:

    2007- Washington, D.C.
    2010- Toronto, Canada

    Some Climate Craft / Global Warming history? Along with the money?



    Press release: June 15,2018

    “IETA statement in response to Ontario’s announcement of WCI withdrawal”

  9. For those seeking examples. I cut and paste phrases as I meet them in general reading. Here are a few from Climate, education, military & political sources, in the main.

    VOCABULARY THEFT (Clean version)
    Complete bafflegab.
    professional explainer
    number of exceedances of a given flood threshold
    social values and the generation landscape continue to change
    speak truth to power
    DARPA also is carrying out the Upward Falling Payloads (UFP) program
    support for forward-deployed warfighters
    Researchers eventually want to expand a prototype from the analysis of vertical image and video to document analysis; natural language processing for machine translation and gisting; optical character recognition; horizontal still photo video object and persona identification; horizontal video object and persona identification; cognitive computing for target systems analysis and entity relationship identification; and other areas using machine learning approaches.
    capabilities like silent engagement, deep magazine, scalable effects, and reduced logistics burdens.
    Phonate Phonate definition, Phonetics. to provide (a sound source, and hence the pitch) for a given voiced continuant or vowel, through rapid, periodic glottal action.
    the practicality of using autonomous systems to provide real-time actionable intelligence to our warfighters
    disinvitation attempts by the left
    slow-onsets crisis
    They also assist with Doctrine, Organization, Training, Materiel, Leadership and Education, Personnel, Facilities, and Policy – otherwise known as DOTMLPF-P.
    We describe a new training methodology for generative adversarial networks…. We also propose a simple way to increase the variation in generated images, and achieve a record inception score of 8.80 in unsupervised CIFAR10.
    (Preamble to Bonn Cop) ”we have … committed to clarifying the modalities for the 2018 facilitative dialogue aimed at increasing ambition in the pre-2020 and post-2020 years through the revisions on NDCs [national climate plans] where possible”
    Alleged widespread doctoring of global tamperature data sets.
    Edumacation is a good modern word describing what you get when you receive a modern “education” at a mediocre college and/or in a mediocre program.
    In 1996, Gao and Randall [24, 25] extracted the modal properties (poles and zeros) of a transfer function from measured response signals, in a case where the forcing function was confined to the very low quefrency region of the response cepstrum.
    international cyber security standards for internet of things-based systems
    command, control, communications, computers, intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance (C4ISR)
    Anthropocene, Adjustocene.
    In the Sun, surface differential rotation changes on a centennial time scale coincide with the observed phase change between the toroidal and poloidal magnetic field components and the time dependence of the dipole and quadrupole components of the poloidal magnetic field
    “MOT is a S-GAST biased parameter….so the synchronicity of MOT and AAT/CO2 is consistent with GAST lagging AAT/CO2.”
    go run back to to your mommy’s basement you brainwashed fish-witted flimsy-knuckled vomitfondler
    a science driven mad by apocalyptic visions that are then proselytized by acolytes
    either Inner Hipsterville or Outer Nerdistan
    axolotl, furshlugginer, potrzebie and veeblefetzer!
    Basically, we now have a media that condemns those who describe murdering rapists as animals, but welcomes and promotes those who describe a Republican presidential candidate as an “animal.”
    NASA (Never A Straight Answer)…
    Incontrovertible, incontestable, undeniable, irrefutable, unassailable, beyond dispute, unquestionable, beyond question, indubitable, not in doubt, beyond doubt, beyond a shadow of a doubt, unarguable, inarguable, undebatable, unanswerable; unequivocal, unambiguous, unmistakable, certain, sure, definite, definitive, proven, positive, decisive, conclusive, final, ultimate; clear, clear-cut, straightforward, plain, as plain as a pikestaff, transparent, obvious, manifest, evident, self-evident, staring one in the face, patent, demonstrative, demonstrable, observable, palpable; uncontroversial, accepted, acknowledged; marked, pronounced, express, emphatic, categorical, compelling, convincing, clinching, airtight, watertight; rareirrefragable, apodictic
    I would like to see at least a proposal for a Unicorn that farts rainbows and craps skittles.
    Spatio-temporal chaos is ergodic.
    James: when the female reporters have no further use for their classified sources, they can sue them for sexual harassment! (Response) James, James, James … never let the little head do the thinking for the big head!
    “Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”
    The scam may be crashing scientifically and on the public’s give-a-shyte meter
    all cookie cutter versions of the same indoctrinated twerps to the point where both eyeballs reside in the left socket. Geoff

    • Lexicon’s definition:

      Climate-craft, n., 1. The practice of divining Gaia’s climate or weather by using entrails, fire,air, water, thunder, lightning, models, etc. 2. A discipline that attributes any change in the biosphere to human activity, esp. one that attempts to monetise a benign trace gas crucial for organic life while simultaneously demonising it. See cargo cult, haruspex, witchcraft.

  10. Here is a classic from the original Devil’s Dictionary:

    Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

    Ambrose Bierce said many other things, such as: “Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.”

  11. latest book genre?
    reckon all the IPCC and hansen mann and the rest could be put there in the fiction aisles also!

  12. Some what childish, but amusing, and also probably a good idea, since it seems people cant be convinced by the science.

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