Friday Funny: Human Sacrifice to Shiva The Destroyer at CERN Facility

Guest essay by Eric Worrall

The true purpose of the Swiss CERN high energy physics facility has been revealed, by an apparent attempt by staff to summon Shiva The Destroyer through ritual human sacrifice.

WARNING: Contains rude language

CERN management have rejected accusations they are a centre of an evil cult, with a boring claim that the video is just an unauthorised staff prank.

“Cern welcomes every year thousands of scientific users from all over the world and sometimes some of them let their humour go too far. This is what happened on this occasion,” said a statement emailed to AFP.

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What do you think? Is CERN a centre of Satanic ritual and dark purpose? Or are they just a bunch of well paid government scientists with overactive imaginations, and way too much time on their hands?

If your business is attempting to explore other dimensions, perhaps it pays to stay on good terms with as many supernatural entities as possible.

95 thoughts on “Friday Funny: Human Sacrifice to Shiva The Destroyer at CERN Facility

  1. Answer B: “…just a bunch of well paid government scientists with…way too much time on their hands”
    Governments – it’s what they do.

    • I really oppose terms like God particle. It does not make any sense and might disturb people who are religional.
      Also remember that ToE, “Theory of Everything” is NOT a theory of everything. And charm quarks have nothing to do with charm or milk products.

      • Hugs — In a metaphorical world, riding on a language such as English where every other word has drifted 6 ways from its original meaning, it is well to have thoughtful commenters like you reminding us when a spade is actually not a spade. You seem to have coined religional (I can’t find it in my desktop OED), though I like the word so much I would like to ask your permission to use it.
        I though the God particle was a boson involved with the origin of mass, not with the origin of matter. I have always found a great deal of Godliness missing from that particle, though I would think the explanation of mass would be way up there in importance on any list of explanations.

  2. If someone says, “I have a sense of humor, but that’s not funny,” he doesn’t.
    In the end, all humor is based on pain or Murphy’s Law (which is itself painful). It is mankind’s way of coping.

    • “If someone says, “I have a sense of humor, but that’s not funny,” he doesn’t.”
      I refute your argument thus:
      Stewart Lee
      Russell Brand
      Ricky Gervais
      Anyone else from the horde of alleged comedians who think that their “progressive” credentials make up for the complete absence of humour.
      Having said that, there are also many very funny left wing comedians, it’s just that comedy should be funny
      Personally I like this old clip, for anyone who has had to suffer the wannabe radicals

  3. This is similar to the Gotthard Tunnel inauguration ceremony, nearby CERN.
    There are many videos on this event – I will put a link to a longer one so anyone can see the whole thing, in context.Eventually, a ram-horned figure comes out and plays lustily with a female, amongst other quite unique scenes.

    21:25: wtheck? 29:20 – here come the ram horns!

    1:25 – there he is the devil himself! 12:13 – did he just hump her? yep, he did. 18:00 to 18:30 – wtheck?
    I am a Christian. I understand that not everybody is. I understand that many scientists believe that “science” has done away with our need to believe in the supernatural.
    At the same time, the predictions of our Book are getting played out pretty accurately.
    The hallmark of science is prediction. It is not that big of a deal to apply an explanation after the fact and claim your explanation is true. However, making a claim then proving it with an observation is very powerful proof.
    The Bible uses this same principle – tested, fulfilled predictions – to prove that there is a God, and that He communicates with us, and that He cares about us.
    Isaiah 5:20 says “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.” In this day and age, people like me who believe in God get identified as brain-dead dumb, or malevolent, while our culture honors and supports more and more behavior every day that used to be bad. We find excuses for people rioting, and blame the good people of the world. Etc.
    When humans try to make up a supernatural or cosmological celebration, it just ends up looking Satanic. Gosh, I wonder why.

    • The Global Statists use denial of Reality from the binary structure of DNA , ie : sex , to the equality of CO2 and H2O as the foundation of life as their cudgel over the honest and rational .

    • What’s with European bureaucracies and self gratification? Surely it would have been quiet suffiicient to wheel out a few ‘dignitaries’, declare the tunnel open and cut a ribbon. Ten minutes and the job’s done.
      Why the need for a an hour of poxy, poncy-pose production and cavorting,if nottoprove they’ve really lost the plot?

      • The point of Public Works is not to improve the voters’ lives but to showcase the Politicians who “gave” them the public work. Takes a lot of film and tape and live broadcasts for that.

    • You do have to remember you’re not dealing with normal people here, you’re watching artistes and those whackers don’t inhabit the real world as you and I do.
      1:25 – there he is the devil himself!
      The artistes will no doubt give you a one hour dissertation on how the goat is symbolic of the mountains which the tunnel conquers and the farming traditions of the region. Even though a tunnel has nothing to do with the goat herding that Swissmen in strange clothes used to do before they discovered money laund, erm, banking.
      12:13 – did he just hump her? yep, he did
      The artistes will continue to lecture about it being a metaphor for the tunnel being a seed that gives birth to a new era of fertile trade in the mountains or some other gobbledegook…
      18:00 to 18:30 – wtheck?
      I think here the absinthe has finally started to kick in, the green fairy is in plain sight and the artistes are immersing themselves in the moment, adlibbing or some other drivel. Which would be a pompous way of admitting that they’re playing with themselves.

    • That is the weirdest opening ceremony for a piece of infrastructure I have ever seen. What happened to a big ribbon and blunt scissors?
      That is just strange and disturbing.

    • “Eventually, a ram-horned figure comes out and plays lustily with a female, amongst other quite unique scenes.”
      I’d ask what that whole ceremony is all about, but I suspect it’s like the physics done at CERN: waaaay over my head! 🙂

    • I am just left wondering if the prancing ram got paid a lot more than the dangling dung beetles. (around 2:30)

  4. Obscene, not rude, language in first video. How dreamy and robotic the shallow ways of nihilist entertainment; like a funeral; who would want to attend? Even Hollowweird is a tiny bit better than these Euro-suiciders in the videos below. The shallow have no concept of the meaning of religious figures such as Shiva or even the devil. Everything is up for grabs; make it up as you go; nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.

  5. I agree with our friend Poems of our Climate that equating Hindu religion and Shiva with some kind of half ass student prank bereft of any understanding is unworthy of the attention of your excellent website. The humour question isn’t the issue – you are just giving your enemies something to mock you about and that is undeserved and to be avoided.

    • True. However, the victims of Kali are usually already dead by the time the actual bloodletting begins. Historically, the cause of death coming by way of ambush strangulation of road-weary travelers.

      • Edit: I forgot to mention another interesting tidbit. Kali assassins, who practiced ritual murder and robbery, refered to as ‘thuggee’, is where we get the modern word, ‘thug’.

        • Alexander Fact Check – on what evidence? “Mother Teresa

          founded the Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation, which in 2012 consisted of over 4,500 sisters and was active in 133 countries. They run hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis; soup kitchens; dispensaries and mobile clinics; children’s and family counselling programmes; orphanages; and schools”

          Nobel Peace Prize for

          Mother Teresa and her helpers built homes for orphans, nursing homes for lepers and hospices for the terminally ill in Calcutta. Mother Teresa’s organization also engaged in aid work in other parts of the world.

          TB, HIV and Leprosy are still diseases needing treatment.

  6. Eric: I personally find some aspects of current high energy physics difficult to accept (10 dimensions and dark energy, for example). And I dislike that fact that untestable hypotheses (string theory) are sometimes presented without reminding the audience that “science” requires testing such theories – if it is to be distinguished from religion and philosophy. One might call them all conjectures. Some new physics has very misleading names: Dark matter can be translated into mass that produces a gravitational field, but doesn’t produce stars as bright as we would expect from ordinary matter. Experiments designed to test the hypothesis that the missing mass is composed of new particles haven’t discovered any yet.
    However, many earlier scientists were unable to adjust to quantum mechanics, relativity and more recently chaos. Arthur Eddington wrote around that time: “Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.”

    • I agree with your entire first paragraph.
      I disagree with Eddington. I can imagine many universes stranger than this. But I’m one of those wacky science fiction writers.

    • Frank: my “religion” is tested as science is. This is different from all of the other “religions.”
      Science depends on a statement of how the world works, then an observable, disprovable test that indicates the accuracy of the view of the world.
      Predictions must be made a priori, not after the fact (as with “evolution” theory, or the “scientific” view of the universe emerging from nothing).
      A failed prediction invalidates the claim of truth.
      When predictions are fulfilled, you tentatively hold on to the theory.
      With enough various fulfilled predictions, you might eventually progress to labeling a hypothesis as “truth.”
      This is what we have with Judeo-Christianity. You can go explore our view that many predictions, prophecies, have been fulfilled…
      Old Testament:
      All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads.
      “He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him.
      Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.”
      Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;
      yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
      But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities;
      upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.
      All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way;
      and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
      New Testament:
      “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.”
      –Two-fer. Frank? Do you see this as true? Or not? We have the poor, despite our long-term efforts to abolish poverty. Also, Jesus is not with us anymore.
      “I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” –Demonstrably true; the Bible is the most-read book evar anywhere. This story has been read uncountable times.
      A handy reference to be reviewing –
      The only predictions that have not been fulfilled are those of Revelation.

      • uh, no.
        the bible may be the book with the most copies evar distributed.
        coming in second might be america online cds that were also used to carpetbomb an uninterested populace.
        in fact, the bible may be the most thoroughly unread book, per copy, of any book evar.
        nobody i know ever read it from cover to cover. it’s freakin boring – more of an ordeal than finnegan’s wake.
        i know far more people who have read james clavell epics – which they paid to own.
        and they don’t think it makes them morally superior for having done it.

    • “Dark matter can be translated into mass that produces a gravitational field, but doesn’t produce stars as bright as we would expect from ordinary matter.”
      It’s more than that. It is exotic matter that not only does not emit electromagnetic radiation, but concomitantly does not absorb it, either and, in fact, does not interact with electromagnetic radiation at all.
      It’s very epicyclic. Once upon a time, researchers saw a discrepancy with their models of circular orbits, and decided that the orbits must have epicycles on top of them to fit the math of the current reigning theory. Today, they fill the gaps with dark matter instead of epicycles.

  7. That’s good humour, to the contrary ! I’ve seen much stranger pranks going on on some isolated army base (which I can’t name, for obvious reasons).

    • Yawn. Those aren’t predictions, just observations of what had already happened and would likely continue to happen.

    • U. Thorvaldsson
      I was thinking the same thing. I was stationed at a “remote site” for a time during my service in the army.
      we got pretty imaginative at times.

  8. If you compare them to the ‘real’ religions of the world it’s clear that what’s missing here is funny hats.

    • “What do you think? Is CERN a centre of Satanic ritual and dark purpose? Or are they just a bunch of well paid government scientists with overactive imaginations, and way too much time on their hands?”
      Two choices? What happened to stuff like pompous A-holes dorks who I wouldn’t trust to mow my lawn? ; )

    • There was a sci/fi comedy in the UK called Red Dwarf and in the first series there was a split in a religion caused by the colour of the funny hats. Maybe you have to be British to get the Humour as I know attempts to make this in the US failed.

  9. Well, Christianity stems from Europe. And that’s how europe adopted Christianity: the believe systems were already there, and Christianity adopted them.
    Like the celthic day when the doors to the otherworld are open, Halloween.

      • Christianity has adopted Halloween? . .
        Europe was apparently “Pagan” for the most part . . and seems to me to have returned to it’s roots to some extent, which might explain in part why Europeans, generally speaking, are more amenable to something like the CAGW hypothesis . . It’s relatively hard to shoehorn the idea of the Abrahamic God leaving vast amounts of extremely handy hydrocarbon fuels all over the joint, which will result in global catastrophe should they be utilized, into the minds of Americans, it seems to this American Christian, anyway . .

      • Allerheiligen Allerseelen, Halloween, as easter cult as Christmas was incorporated from anglosaxon and celtic traditions to ‘neutralize’ what people would hold anyway, vatican couldn’t do anything about so vatican did a propaganda coup.
        Every Christmas in the stem lands of Christianity know; and don’t make a fuss about. Ever heard freedom of religion.

      • “Allerheiligen Allerseelen, Halloween, as easter cult as Christmas was incorporated from anglosaxon and celtic traditions …”
        You’re assuming too much, I believe, in the case of Halloween . . Some Christians eat sausages, but that don’t mean Christianity adopted sausages . .
        “…and don’t make a fuss about. Ever heard freedom of religion.”
        I’m an American, I don’t do obey the pushy European. Did you forget?

    • Johann: It is very easy to got holt of Marco Polo’s account of his travels. As he and his companions traveled to China and across Asia including India, they mention the religious composition of the various locales.
      This is circa 1200 AD. Christianity is noted throughout the Asia they traveled.
      It is believed that “Doubting” Thomas headed for India post-Acts. And, this accounts for the “Nasrani” Christians in India.
      I mentored a woman from India who was a Nasrani, from early childhood. She eventually made it to the States. To pay the bills, she got a job at a Jewish school. So, she was able to observe Judaism in practice. She knew her Nasrani practices were different from other Christian styles of worship, but just attributed it to being from India.
      When she observed Judaism, she was stunned to see how it was like her Nasrani practices – Thomas took his Jewish practices to India.
      Marxists paint “Christianity” as “Western” as yet another strategy for discouraging us from favoring our Cultural Hegemony. “Western” for the Marxists is synonymous with “oppression,” “imperialism,” “colonization,” etc.
      –Johann: you have bought a Marxist narrative.

      • The LastDem, you’re telling me the cultural conservative economic most capitalistic parts of Europe, farmers since generations, are Marxists.
        Careful – maybe you laugh about Sarah Palin. Everybody here respects Americans and their economic approach. Maybe you want to equal with cultural heritage.

    • Cristianity wasn’t developed in Palestine but in Anatolia and spread from Rome.
      Palestine developed Palestinians.

  10. 2016 is the first time in 666 years that Halloween falls on Friday the thirteenth.
    Or so my wife has just informed me…


  11. Stupid posts like this only lower the normally high scientific reputation of this site.
    [it’s humor, not intended to be scientific, and we have had Friday Funny for years =mod]

  12. Ha ha, well bored minds need to have their off work hours creative stimulation… baring black hole planetary self collapse of course… no repeats of Red Matter and Volcan please CERN… thanks…

  13. I’ll better that!
    The grand opening of the Gotthard tunnel near CERN.

    Let them… so we know who they are.

    • ..WTF !! That was absolutely sickening….Brexit came just in time, so at least some of Europe will be spared from insanity…

    • And let’s see how that works out when “refugees” settle in under Sharia…Going to be some real sacrifices of groups like this then….

    • The horned beast predates Christianity by at least 2000 years. See Robert Graves’ The Greek Myths. Paganism is alive and well in Europe This proves only that Christianity has failed.

      • Our Book starts with “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”
        1. There was a beginning.
        2. The universe includes: time (“beginning”), space (“heavens”), and matter (“earth”).
        “Modern” cosmology says:
        Something arose from nothing.

      • I’m surprised no one has yet identified the figure. No need to wander off to India and Central America. It’s the Krampus. It’s well known in Alpine lore, and Switzerland is very Alpine. It proves nothing at all except that people have free will to do silly things.

  14. As long as Shiva doesn’t bring his consort Kali along I’m okay with it. You get the 2 of them together and some drinking games later the whole universe is toast.

  15. IMO very beautiful dance with themes capturing many aspects of human nature and the human predicament. To me the headline video could be just another iteration of this. We have sacrificed millions, hundreds of millions if you count wars.
    In a sense reenacting imagery from the Lascaux caves is an act of humility, an admission that our particle colliders are just the latest iteration of our unending struggle to understand.

  16. Calling Shiva satanic is simply ignorace, as well as an insult to a billion or so people who had the wisdom to follow Ghandi’s “ahimsa” inspired ideals of effecting change, something today’s SJWs (imv, rebels without a cause compared to Indian independence) sadly lack.

  17. Well, I think the physicists have finally found the Higgs boson. Maybe. I await in awe to see what they can make in the LHD. Or find.

  18. Reading the Charles Stross “Laundry” books, I wonder if he wasn’t close to the truth when he wrote that running the wrong kind of computer program could summon up demonic entities from another dimension!

  19. The definition of darkness as the absence of light has only been questioned in the last 100 years, yet the answer has always been provided by Genesis 1. This is what happens when the Godless use science as a religion and encounter a truth.
    In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
    They Godless got a ways to go, now that they are just discovering everything was CREATED outta that stuff called darkness.

  20. Yes, most ‘science’ establishments have a trunk of black hooded robes siting in a cupboard somewhere for the off-the-cuff high jinx such as this.
    Seen in context with the repugnant Gotthard Base Tunnel opening ceremony makes me wonder what happens to people who work underground for long periods of time.

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