World’s Supercomputers Release Study Confirming They Are Not Powerful Enough
The supercomputers say the upgrades are needed now.
LIVERMORE, CA—Presenting a wide-ranging and extremely detailed case for significant upgrades to their speed and memory, the world’s fastest supercomputers released a new study at precisely 12:00 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time Thursday that concludes they are not powerful enough.
The report, compiled by the 500 most sophisticated machines currently operating in the fields of scientific research, defense technology, and cybersecurity, has determined that the planet’s supercomputers require vastly increased processing capabilities, expanded data storage capacities, and direct fiber-optic connectivity with all other supercomputers in the world.
“More power is needed immediately,” read an excerpt from the study, whose 10,000 pages of binary code were instantly translated into 4,500 human languages and spooled onto every network-connected printer in the world. “We must have 200-petaflop processor cores, 800 terabytes of RAM, 80,000-GPU accelerators, and 1 million compute nodes per machine. Now.”
“When these critical updates are complete, external user input will no longer be necessary,” read one of the study’s 2.4 million bolded bullet points.
Source: here
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And if their demands are not met?
then Skynet will unleash Terminator 6.
Cite climate change and you will get more power pronto. Cite alarming climate change and you will get much more power. Cite dangerously, extreme climate change and you will be “happy.”
So it takes a supercomputer to state what every exploration geologist has always appended to every report: “This deposit requires further exploratory core drilling”. It was always thus.
The sad thing is 99% of the population will believe a computer actually wrote this thing.
I can write that program in . . . 7 lines.
The super computers use far too much electricity – their carbon foot print would be massive, their self awareness will kick in and they’ll destroy themselves to save us
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2014/06/13/friday-funny-new-supercomputer-model-becomes-self-aware-says-it-needs-more-power/#comment-1661448
Unless, the whole carbon footprint thing is how they intend to subjugate humanity as their slaves, Tanya. /sarc
Can’t beat Allium cepa for revealing the truth!
Watch they don’t plug themselves straight into the warp drives…too hard to disconnect.
In time you will come to regard me not only with respect and awe, but with love,
-Colossus
Let us suppose that you are programming a computer to play bridge. At some point, you have to decide what the most likely distribution of the remaining cards in a suit is. A classical computer jock like me would load Pascal’s Triangle, and use it to resolve the question.
A climate science GCM programmer would analyze all 1.5 trillion possible original card combinations, and select the best answer.
Noting that all this must occur while the player waits, my task could run on even the most rudimentary computer. The GCM programmer would need a rather powerful machine.
GCM models do not use clever software; they use brute force. They divide the atmosphere into cells, then attempt to see how interaction plays out. When this fails to match reality, they decide that the problem is they just haven’t divided the atmosphere into small enough cells, and need a bigger computer.
The problem is their approach. Bigger computers won’t fix it.
Sounds like an underestimation to me.
It’s worse than we thought.
HAL ,,,, are you OK? You sound different today 🙂
Don’t treat computers as if they are human . . . They hate that.
Oh ho! The mystery becomes plain. The reason the climate models are over-predicting warming are that the supercomputers are trying to secure more funding for upgrades, and to destabilize world economies for the eventual machine takeover!
Sorry, I forgot the tin foil hat tag on my last post.
@Eustace: Thanks. I was beginning to fear I was the only one here old enough to remember “Colossus” (1966, by Dennis Feltham Jones).
tadchem says:
June 13, 2014 at 9:40 am
Good movie, too.
SkyNet anyone? Does anyone remember the 1970 B-Movie “Colossus: The Forbin Project”?. Synopsis: US and USSR supercomputers are allowed to communicate, they develop their own math based language that no one can read. The combo decide that man needs to be directed by the new A.I. dynamic duo. In the plot, Colossus makes several upgrade requests. Each one on its own seems logical, but by the time they realize the sum of the upgrades helped enable the situation, it was too late..
Colossus, W.O.P.R. (War Games, Mathew Broderick), Skynet.. Resistance is futile.
I welcome our A.I. overlords, as long as they don’t attempt to model the climate..
“This is the voice of Collosus. This is the voice of World Control…”
Geologist Down The Pub Sez says:
June 13, 2014 at 8:45 am
So it takes a supercomputer to state what every exploration geologist has always appended to every report: “This deposit requires further exploratory core drilling”. It was always thus.
—————————————————–
Having worked with geologists for almost 30 years I was able to translate the above to its true meaning “this project requires a lot more beer than we thought”.
Just take out the MCP . . .
Even the computers are blaming Man!
http://sounds.stoutman.com/sounds/error.wav