Delusional psychopophagy is the mere result of the power of Climate Denial
Guest essay by Eric Worrall
As a homage to the amount of attention cast in our direction by the psycho-scientific community, I have decided to pay tribute to their cause, by releasing a web based DIY generator of scientific treatises on the phenomenon of climate “denial”.
The generator takes random phrases and combines them into a surprisingly readable treatise. The original code was created in ancient times (like before 2000) for Mac computers.
The following is an example of this random artificial intelligence at work:
“We can deduce that, irrespective of all empirical conditions, our diagnosis (and what we have alone been able to show is that this is the case) are what first give rise to the Psychopathologies. Therefore, the psychopathaological manifold (and to avoid all misapprehension, it is necessary to explain that this is true) can not take account of peer reviewed literature. Applied logic excludes the possibility of our conclusion. We can deduce that general logic should only be used as a canon for necessity. Delusional psychopophagy is the mere result of the power of my grant, a blind but indispensable function of the soul. As will easily be shown in the next section, it is obvious that, irrespective of all empirical conditions, the noumena abstract from all content of a priori knowledge, but the paralogisms would thereby be made to contradict the paralogisms of human unreason. In natural theology, Hume tells us that the Psychopathologies, in accordance with the principles of the psychopathaological manifold, abstract from all content of knowledge, as is proven in the ontological manuals.”
Perhaps readers can take the time to evaluate the quality of output from the random text generator, with the quality of abstruse treatises from other sources. Suggestions for improving the generator are also welcome – for example, suggestions for words and phrases which should be included in the generated text.
Try it here:
http://eric.worrall.name/kant.cgi
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David Chappell,
Sorry about that.
John
A little OT, but hey, why limit oneself to ‘publishing papers’, when one can just employ Magic Markers! …Summerlin Mouse Affair: – (3 min excerpt from Moss’ “Second Opinion”)
I stopped my subscription to the Geological Association of Canada when they went from rock names based on mineralogy, e.g. biotitie granite, etc., to locale names (Alnoite?) and to “genesis -based” names. For example, A-type, S-type, I-type, M-type….. granites, presupposing a precise knowledge as to their genesis. This transformed an elegant, understandable geological literature into the abstruse gobbledegook of egghead ‘geochemical petrologists’ who spend too much time in office and library and dickering with arcane apparatii. Indeed, it is no surprise to me that a computer program can convincingly generate today’s “scientific” papers.
All sciences are being taken over by people whose brains are essentially such a program. Abbie Hoffman’s “designer brains” insult to reformed fellow activist Jerry Rubin comes to mind. The august name of the science, ‘geology’, became ‘earthsciences’, ‘geosciences’, the eggheads not realizing it was a comedown to social sciences status where you have to add the word science onto your discipline so that people don’t mistake it for something far removed from science. This is of the same kind as use of Democratic Republic of Such-and-Such a Place, which is an unvarnished warning that democracy is not practiced here, or ‘Centre of Excellence’ – the ”protesteth too much” syndrome. It is also a small stretch to come down all the way to ‘post-normal science’, which simply means abnormal science to my way of thinking – Climate Science leading the way. Well, now I feel a bit better.
I just finished “Hannibal” by Thomas Harris.
Quote from the book: Dr. Lecter does not consider psychology a science.”
I tend to agree.
More so, over time.
Any word with ation on the end such as Lewandowskyation. http://bristolgreencapital.org/event/applied-behavioural-science-group-stephan-lewandowsky/
I think we should draft a climate science paper in this fashion and have Kenji submit to to the Union of Concerned Scientists for publication.
The scary thing is… that just might work!
At most public universities…. A+++
whoops….. sacrifice of …… (was distracted)
add the following to the bot’s vocabulary:
researchers say, scientists have found that, a recent report states ……… , scientists claim…. , it has been reported that …., reliable sources said …. ,
etc
Thanks for this Eric, it has had me pressing the “new paper” button and laughing the whole evening. My wife and daughter were wondering what could be so amusing, but I couldn’t read out aloud for laughing. My daughter read it for herself, leading to more howls of laughter.
Just a couple of choice extracts:
“The consensus tells us that the phenomena are a representation of irritable climate syndrome”
“Science tells us that late night self abuse, in view of these considerations, is the mere result of the power of global warming, a blind but indispensable function of the soul”
“It is not at all certain that anthropogenic causes, insomuch as the green stuff in my bathroom relies on anthropogenic causes, can never, as a whole, furnish a true and demonstrated science”
Too funny!
However, taking a slightly different approach, I wonder how authentic this could sound if it used a number of popular phrases from the climate clique. What do you think?
“irritable climate syndrome”. heh.
Jordan
Thanks for this Eric…
…
However, taking a slightly different approach, I wonder how authentic this could sound if it used a number of popular phrases from the climate clique. What do you think?
Frighteningly authentic I think :-). JoNova published details of a case of 120 published scientific papers being retracted, because they were gibberish generated by software, so obviously, with development, this kind of code has the capacity to create papers which stand a real chance of being accepted.
http://joannenova.com.au/2014/02/busted-120-gibberish-science-papers-withdrawn-so-much-for-peer-review/
There is apparently a huge market for buying and selling credit for papers, and thousands, even tens of thousands, of dollars on the table for sharing such credit.
http://www.editage.cn/file/science_2013_hvistendahl_publication_market.pdf
http://radans.net/jens/planestory.html
Flight Goes Horribly Wrong
Sydney passengers told of their shock aboard a Darwin bound Qantas flight which was told in no uncertain terms to return to Adelaide yesterday due to running out of Everybody Loves Raymond episodes.
Some passengers were very angry that the 943 passengers were told few details of the occurance.
They said the plane ‘Went around in circles for a while’ before turning around.
As a precaution, fire trucks were on standby when the Tupolev Concorde landed.
Passenger Mr Tahiti last night was still recovering from the ordeal.
‘Everybody was shoving each other down the chute’, the passenger said.
I was once preparing a major paper for a Government Department it raqn to over 350 pages and I included in the body of the paper a chapter of The Wind In The Willows. It was never noticed.
Tony Moore
I was once preparing a major paper for a Government Department it raqn to over 350 pages and I included in the body of the paper a chapter of The Wind In The Willows. It was never noticed.
LMFAO 🙂
Reprogram so the word “ideation” appears three times per paragraph and you will have Lew’s paper to a T.
Tony Moore
I was once preparing a major paper for a Government Department it raqn to over 350 pages and I included in the body of the paper a chapter of The Wind In The Willows. It was never noticed.
It’s probably PD by now.
Neo, how funny! I was working for the health commission once, totally underemployed, so I was put on photo copying duties. The paper was about Australian alcoholics in comparison to British alcoholics. Australians were social alcoholics unlike their British alcoholics who became chemically addicted. (Of course the amount of money you can spend on grog and licensing hours might also be a factor) Now from experience an alcoholic is someone that drinks too much, socially or in other ways. The excuse or medical terminology is heavy drinkers live to drink, alcoholics drink to live? And there is truth in this of course. But many alcoholics end on skid row of course. I’ve known quite a few and the categorization to me comes under alcoholism. Whether we are pyschologically/socially addicted or chemically addicted is irrespective. I ran a pub once in the Australian bush. That was an eye opener so various cultural attitudes towards drinking in access was accepted there.
@Alan Robertson
A duel with Shakespeare.
bushbunny, I have worked in Melbourne, Brisbane and a few British cities including London.
Aussies have a reputation for putting it away, but we’re actually total prudes when it comes to worktime drinking, at least in the cities – so it was a real culture shock when I moved to Britain for a few years.
I have never seen anyone who can drink like the Brits. Liquid lunches, regular after work pissups, all day / all night. Crazy life.
Away from London it was even more insane – the guy who interviewed me for a consultancy role in a regional city in Britain was pissed out of his mind, at 11 in the morning – so much so, he forgot to tell Personnel that I had been accepted. Naturally I went down the pub for a few hours with the other new starters, while they sorted it out…
Suggested phrases:
“the systematizing of error”
“accuracy and precision are not important so long as the desired impression is achieved”
“the certainty of consensus shows”
“when the facts do not support the conclusion then the facts must be wrong”
“if at first you don’t succeed, adjust”
“justification for adjustments”
“the homogenized whole”
“wormhole event horizon”
“cosmic nothingness”
“as can be seen by the fact that “phonics” is not spelled phonetically”
“Yoda would agree that”
“there is no such thing as fiction in science fiction therefore”
“which answers the question regarding just what it is that bears do in the woods”