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Heh, this is from a commenter at Slashdot on Cook’s fatally flawed 97% consensus paper. While a bit harsh, it’s also funny. He responds to:
Yeah! It’s like saying that 97% of priests believe in god anyway.
by Razgorov Prikazka (1699498) on Friday May 17, 2013 @11:52AM (#43753313) says:
I agree, and it goes further than just priests! Here are some interesting factoids for you:
97% of the children believe in Santa
97% of paranoid believe they are being followed
97% of the homoeopaths believe in homoeopathy
97% of the astrologists believe in astrology
97% of the KKK think lynchmobs are a good thing
97% of the intelligent design gang are absolutely convinced that God made it all
97% of all the interviewed Zen buddists were convinced it is possible to clap with one hand
97% of the paganist movement think sandals are fashionable
97% of the physicians didnt believe in washing their hands before doing surgery
97% of the politicians think they are doing some great things
================================================================
I’ve added a few.
97% of dogs believe in hanging their noses out car windows
97% of cats believe in long naps
97% of Playboy models believe in taking all their clothes off
97% of cooks believe in cooking with heat (the rest are sushi chefs)
Readers are welcome to add to the list
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97% of Turkeys do not believe in celebrating Christmas
We asked 11,994 shoppers in 1,980 supermarkets “Are apples better than pears?”
32.6% said they prefer apples.
66.4% said neither, they prefer oranges and bananas.
0.7% said they prefer pears.
0.3% said they liked apples and pears about the same.
This is conclusive proof that 97% of fruit eaters prefer apples.
Go Home says:
May 17, 2013 at 7:42 pm
97% of defense contractors believe we need to invest in a stronger military.
The Best one yet (imho)
97% of Godwin invokers don’t realize that they have invoked his Law in one form or another.
The Consensus Project promotional statement is that 97% of climate papers which state a position on human-caused global warming agree that global warming is happening AND that 97% of climate papers which state a position on human-caused global warming (the we who agree) are the cause of the global warming.
So where should the attack be directed?
That claimed 97% really don’t appear competent to understand what they agree to believe- is that incompetence the heart of their ‘consensus’?
97% of business owners run a business built by someone else.
97% of non-Democrats get harassed by the IRS
97% of spontaneous protestors carry mortar, machine guns and rocket propelled grenades.
97% of AP Reporters are unhappy about having their private phone records seized.
97% of Americans are math impaired; the remaining 13% aren’t.
97% of all living climate scientists will never know how wrong they were by 2100
Did anyone say, 97% of Skeptics believe that warmists live in an alternate reality? If they did I am 97% sorry but if not then I am 97% 1st.
97% of the ABC are warmist socialists. (That’s the Australian ABC)
In fact, the same goes for the Age. But not Popes being Catholic – many Popes are actually Orthodox.
“97% of paranoid believe they are being followed”
Paranoia is the DELUSIONAL belief that EVERYONE is out to get you.
However, just because someone is paranoid, that doesn’t prove that no one is out to get them.
97% of Quantum Physicists know where they are or how fast they are going but not both.
97% of sociologists think people tell the truth on surveys.
97% of people will at least once in their life try to tell a joke to which they have forgotten the punch line.
Pamela Gray says: And I likely had something to do with that.
If I wasn’t already happily married…
97% of fishermen think that women who like to catch trout are like Venus in the Half Shell, but with arms.
97% of male statisticians have small p values.
97% of Mike Mann is still full of BS.
According to the ‘Fruit & Vegetable Growers Monthly’, the authors of the above survey have defended the recent accusation that they had ‘lied through their back teeth’ to make it look like apples are better than pears – completely ignoring the 66.4% of shoppers who believe oranges and bananas are much nicer. A spokesperson for the survey said “It is quite clear from our research that, of the 11,994 shoppers who had the choice of either apples or pears, 97% of them prefer apples.” He added “The calculation is really very simple. Just over 4,000 of the 11,994 shoppers, that’s 33.6% of the total interviewed either liked apples, preferred pears or did not mind either apples or pears. Therefore, of the 4,000 individuals who had a preference for either of the two fruits, 97% of them agree without question that apples win over pears.
97% of the scientists not thrown out of the pool think water is wet…
2117 of 2224 were thrown out of the pool.. three of the 97 left in didn’t think water was wet since the water only covered their toes when everyone else was thrown out..
I always say “A consensus of grant recipients”
97%, now that’s prime!
In 1950, 97% of scientists thought that continental drift theory was a crock. That 97% are now alarmist climatologists.
97% of the people with obsessive compulsive disorder believe in the precautionary principle.
97% of dogs believe sniffing another dog’s @rse is a good thing.
Since 66% had no opinion in Cook’s book, 97% of the remaining 34% provided an opportunity for the fuzzy mathematicians and Obama’s tweet room to convince all available “useful” idi*ts that 33% = 97%.
When asked about this new math, Cook, Hansen, Gore, Mann, et al. replied that only deniers would argue that 33% does not = 97%. They then declared, once again, that the debate is over depending on who you ask 33% of the time.
If at first you don’t succeed, cherrypick the data until you get 97%.
Just snap your fingers, daddy-o!
Michael Palmer says:
May 17, 2013 at 8:11 pm
The truth matters; propaganda is mighty, but not almighty. For proof, consider the Soviet empire folding like a house of cards – this did not happen for want of propaganda, and not for Ronald Reagan’s superhero powers either. It happened because people knew the truth, and when Gorbachev allowed it to be spoken, it was all over.
Actually, it has been much more complicated than that. In fact, not like that at all. Most of the people in the USSR perfectly knew the truth and lied through their teeth, some out of fear, the others just being happy slaves (as most of the people usually are).
The Soviet Union was brought down by many various factors, not the least of which was that this old alcoholic, Boris Yeltsin, personally, didn’t like the Soviet system much, while Mikhail Gorbachev was too reluctant to save it, being a bit ashamed of it after visiting Reagan, Thatcher, and such. Especially if it stood between them and the power. What happened in 1991 was a coup d’etat supported by Yeltsin’s friends in the military, not a revolution. Some people in Moscow went to the streets, surely, but nobody was ever armed — except Yeltsin’s military friends, of course.
If you’d ask me, based on the first-hand personal observations at the time, what played the most important role in bringing down the Soviet Union, I’d say: a fraction of the thieves-in-law seeing an opportunity to divide and rule (to rob and sell) Russia anew, first of all. And then, of course, Beatles and jeans. Never underestimate Beatles and jeans.
Truth? What truth? What is the truth? And who the hell cares?
“There will be no revolution in Austria as long as Austrians have their sausage and beer.”
— Ludvig van Beethoven