Friday Funny

Josh from writes in with:

Here’s a thought…

The MET Office say they need a new computer to get their predictions right.

Er, why not just buy Pier’s Corbyn’s laptop – it seems to do the stuff, no?


35 thoughts on “Friday Funny

  1. Ah, but once the contents of the lap-top have been homogenised, pasteurised, liquidised, sterilised and regularised all that will be proven is that the Met Office was nearly correct.
    My confidence level in this prediction is robust.

  2. Nothing funny about this, but when one considers: GI = GO
    I’m inclinded to wonder if it really is the computers that need to be replaced.

  3. The Queensland floods have shown once again that the geniuses at our version of the Met are just as fallible even with their computers. It would seem that their models are embued with such a warming bias that they can no longer be relied upon.

  4. Ummm…of course ’tis not the computer which makes the difference…but the touch of a Master’s hand.
    To wit:
    ” ‘Twas battered and scarred and the auctioneer
    Thought it scarcely worth his while
    To waste much time on the old violin,
    But he held it up with a smile.
    “What am I bid, good folk?” he cried.
    “Who’ll start the bidding for me?
    A dollar, a dollar … now two … only two …
    Two dollars, and who’ll make it three?
    “Three dollars once, three dollars twice,
    Going for three” … but no!
    From the room far back a gray-haired man
    Came forward and picked up the bow.
    Then wiping the dust from the old violin
    And tightening up the strings,
    He played a melody pure and sweet,
    As sweet as an angel sings.
    The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
    With a voice that was quiet and low,
    Said, “What am I bid for the old violin?”
    As he held it up with the bow.
    “A thousand dollars … and who’ll make it two?
    Two…two thousand, and who’ll make it three?
    Three thousand once and three thousand twice …
    Three thousand and gone!” said he.
    The people cheered, but some exclaimed
    “We do not quite understand …
    What changed it’s worth?” and the answer came:
    ” ‘Twas the touch of the master’s hand.” ”
    – excerpt from a poem by Myra Brooks Welch

  5. I’m sorry, this will never work….
    …a laptop just doesn’t have the power to fudge that much temperature data

  6. Modern society at its height of power, an intelligent society would see the MET office employ Mr Corbyn (Don’t worry goverment departments spend billions a year on consultants, funny enough mostly media) to help improve there knowledge of the climate which is there public funded duty.
    Instead because he is not on the inside chanting the mantra hes left to show up the 130 million pound funded high temple of cliamte change here in the south of England.

  7. A less than stellar calculator known as a an automatic abacus would most likely do a better job ‘an Met Office’s super climate computer. But as always it all depends on who’s driving the apparatus so to speak.

  8. If Piers Corbyn is unwilling to part with his laptop I’m sure I have an old slide rule lying around somewhere that I could probably part with since I have not touched it for over 30 years. Also, it would be a lot more eco-friendly than their present computer because it does not use electicity and the number of calories used in moving the sliding part must be very small.
    It would certainly reduce their carbon footprint.

  9. What an utter waste of UK taxpayer’s money. £1,000 will do nicely instead of the Met Office’s £33 million supercomputer which calculates warming predictions faster in a failed manner. When will the Met Office ever learn about Thermists’ GIGO???

  10. Gee, I don’t know. The Met Office has experts who have been working on their models on mainframes for decades, building up the accumulated wisdom generated by hundreds of thousands of man-hours of intense programming and model runs.
    They’d have to figure out where to insert the punched cards.

  11. (With apologies to Postman Pat)
    Weather Man Piers,
    Weather Man Piers.
    He’s the one that the
    Met Office Fears.
    Piers gets it right,
    The Met gets it wrong,
    Piers says that’s because
    Co2’s not strong.
    “So give me an Invite,
    I’ll give you the Insight”
    But the Met Office stays,
    Frozen with Fright.
    Weather Man Piers,
    Weather Man Piers.
    He’s the one that the
    Met Office Fears.

  12. I worked in a large manufacturing plant with a great fellow who did the annual production forecasts one year in advance. It took into account all the factors impacting output – maintenance down-times, so many ‘disaster’ down-days, etc, etc. He had the biggest, most expensive computer in the entire plant. On his door he had written up the following: “You are entering the realm of precision guesswork.”

  13. I still feel that more important than TSI is the spectral distribution of the energy. Given the same TSI, a spectrum with more UV will warm the earth more because it will warm the oceans more than a spectrum with more of the energy in the visible spectrum. With more of the energy in the visible, it will heat the land and the very top of the ocean but that heat will be mostly lost to space that very night. UV heats the ocean at greater depth.
    So if you combine the fact that TSI is actually lower than what we have always thought it has been combined with the fact that the spectrum has shifted recently more toward the visible from the UV, it changes a LOT.
    TSI, in and of itself, doesn’t mean as much to me as does combining that with the energy distribution across the spectrum of output because different wavelengths have different impact on Earth temperatures.

  14. latitude says:
    January 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm
    I’m sorry, this will never work….
    …a laptop just doesn’t have the power to fudge that much temperature data
    Even someone with paper and pencil can come up with the required forecasts.
    BBQ time forever.

  15. Roy says:
    Slide rule etc.
    I’m afraid that giving the Met or other climate scientologists a slide rule would leave too much room for manipulation. Slide rules only multiply and give results in significant figures. The order of magnitude needs to be obtained by rough manual calculation and any addition has to be done manually as well.
    Can you imagine how easy it would be to “prove” that the average temperature change of this globe is 100 degrees per day. The arithmetic skills exhibited by these computer modellers is so poor that I personally would have absolutely no confidence in their ability to add 1+1 without getting 7+-3. The correct answer should of course be 10.

  16. It wouldn’t help. Piers’ software is proprietary, and he’d scrub it before passing on the hardware. So they’d have to write their own.
    But that probably be an improvement over the ramshackle Frankenstein’s Monster accumulation of kluges that now makes up their model! Or am I thinking of the IPCC’s 23 GCMs? Or is it all of them?
    Which brings up a thought. I wonder if Piers could be persuaded to do a 100-yr projection …

  17. The best thing the Mt Office can do is to get rid of Dr Pope who seems to think that ‘outside view’ is imaginary. She is the one who cannot get her pet computer to give the answer she expects.

  18. I think Piers is too ethical to consider working for the uk govt.
    they won’t offer, he tells the truth, they don’t want that, they want CCredit funds for their govvy employees retirements to soar…

  19. Piers Corbyn,
    Just tell them your laptop is a super computer and charge them £33 million for it.
    What are you waiting for?

  20. In 1980 I began teaching at a c1000 student high school in a small NZ rural town; the head of Phys Ed, who also worked part time for the local liquor shop, did the timetabling for the entire school on a gridded-off chalkboard in two days. The following year, the timetabling was done on the school’s new computer, a TRS80 (wow!) and sorting out the timetable took four days.
    And OT, I know, but I have just found out from Richard North’s blog that an electric-powered BMW Mini just this week blazed it’s way from London to Edinborough in 4 days and some hours, twice as long as it took by coach in the early 19th century – there’s progress, and there’s Green progress!

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