Just when you think things can’t get any more bizarre with the IPCC, having just learned that the IPPC 2007 report used magazine articles for references, head of the IPCC, Dr. Rajenda Pachauri, provides comedy gold. According to the UK Telegraph, he’s just released what they describe as a “smutty” romance novel, Return to Almora laced with steamy sex, lots of sex. Oh, and Shirley MacLaine.
Here’s the good doctor, grinning like a Cheshire cat at his book launch in India on January 10th.
The Telegraph’s Robert Mendick and Amrit Dhillon in Delhi write:
As the UN’s climate change chief, Dr Rajendra Pachauri has spent his career writing only the driest of academic articles. But the latest offering from the chairman of the UN’s climate change panel is an altogether racier tome.
Some might even suggest Dr Pachauri’s first novel is frankly smutty.
WARNING ADULT CONTENT FOLLOWS:
(First time I’ve had to do that on WUWT)
Return to Almora, published in Dr Pachauri’s native India earlier this month, tells the story of Sanjay Nath, an academic in his 60s reminiscing on his “spiritual journey” through India, Peru and the US.
On the way he encounters, among others, Shirley MacLaine, the actress, who appears as a character in the book. While relations between Sanjay and MacLaine remain platonic, he enjoys sex – a lot of sex – with a lot of women.
In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter.
The book, which makes reference to the Kama Sutra, starts promisingly enough as it tells the story of a climate expert with a lament for the denuded mountain slopes of Nainital, in northern India, where deforestation by the timber mafia and politicians has “endangered the fragile ecosystem”.
But talk of “denuding” is a clue of what is to come.
By page 16, Sanjay is ready for his first liaison with May in a hotel room in Nainital. “She then led him into the bedroom,” writes Dr Pachauri.
“She removed her gown, slipped off her nightie and slid under the quilt on his bed… Sanjay put his arms around her and kissed her, first with quick caresses and then the kisses becoming longer and more passionate.
“May slipped his clothes off one by one, removing her lips from his for no more than a second or two.
“Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sandy, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated?’.”
More follows, including Sanjay and friends queuing to have sexual encounters with Sajni, an impoverished but willing local: “Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before … He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”
Take a cold shower, and read the rest of the steamy (possibly a water vapor feedback loop) novel at the Telegraph here
Note to the U.N. – Time to kick Pachy to the curb, he’s not just toast now, he’s carbonized.
In other news, The Love Guru has this relevant quote from a hockey team member: “there’s no connection between hockey and my love life”
UPDATE: Steve McIntyre quips:
In breaking news, Vivid Entertainment has bought the film rights to the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report. They plan to give new meaning to the terms Working Group 1, Working Group 2 and Working Group 3. They promise to give “peer review” an entirely new interpretation.
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This has got to be a bloody joke, right ?
Come on guys… someone tell me this is a bloody joke !
At last, an award he might deserve….
“Each year since 1993, Literary Review presents the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award to the author who produces the worst description of a sex scene in a novel. ”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literary_Review
When your a MET your a MET all the way,
from your first private jet to that snow storm in May.
When your a MET you are saving the earth,
you keep the lies coming, no need for the truth!
We are the MET, here with your next forecast,
Whatever the weather, it’s always getting warmer.
OK, it is just too easy.
My comment about Pachuri and the UNIPCC.
“These guys just don’t get it.”
Re…Hank Hancock (21:05:53) :
?What do global warming and Pachauri’s sex novel have in common?
They’re both are so poorly marketed that nobody’s buying either.
Thanks, they were all good, just wish to amend the last one to
They’re both so poorly done that, while well marketed, nobody is buying.
This covers new ground.
Does “peer reviewed” mean group sex?
The book will fail. The target for steamy romance novels is women who like the story to be a tease to about page 100. Page 16? Women will not buy it as it reads like porn and men won’t buy it because it because it looks like a women’s romance novel.
Does Fabio pose on the cover of this novel?
Can this be classified as a bit of a cock-up by the IPCC? (Asks Adam, all innocent like!)
The man’s got no credibility left, can any member of the IPCC or anyone contributing to it, keep a straight face when “Randy” Pachauri’s in the room?
I envisage plenty of red silk hankerchiefs being offered, should the man so much as snivvle!
Maybe he’s got “BPL” to ghost write it for him?
Reading only snippets, I am led to believe it has been translated (or written in someone’s second language in the usual formal but stilted style) from his native language into English. The snippets of steam I read were descriptive of sexual encounters, but hardly evocative. To be sure, this is a novel on the burner setting of warm, but boiling? Don’t think so, kama sutra aside.
An improved and more comedic version would have our hero saying to every encountered breast he meets, “Sex was so much better after you meditated…etc”. That kind of circular story structure, which it appears to follow anyway, would have been as much fun as reading fortune cookies followed by the tacked on phrase, “…in bed.”, in bed.
I thank all the commenters for a brilliant collection of wit,( unlike Pachauri.)
Now lets ALL pray he doesn’t see himself as a Barbara Cartland reborn..
as for our Aussie PM I think HE had a ghostwriter, he doesnt have the IQ to write a kids book I have concluded.
and was sharon? looking for the Bodacious word in front of TATA’s:-)
“He enjoyed the sensation of gently pushing Susan’s shoulders back a few inches, an action that served to lift her breasts even higher,” writes Dr Pachauri. “He was excited by the sight of her heaving breasts, as she breathed in and out deeply.”
No wonder Susan Solomon has recently come out against the IPCC on water vapors.
Ralph (01:10:28) :
>>Robert Townshend (00:26:20) :
>>“Slowly he extended his trembling, sweating hand
>>into TERI’s drawers…”
Was that the sweaty hand holding the red silk hanky?? If so, it gives a whole new meaning to ’sticky money’.
ROFL, ROFL!! But too English, perhaps.
On what page number does he describe our hero’s comb over? And does he use mousse to keep it in place? That could explain the red silk hanky. He apparently forgot his ditty bag when he boarded the wom…train. Make do with what ya got.
Anybody else get the feeling that our posts are getting parked in the moderator’s monitored rating box in case we start to go overboard? Good idea. This Irish redhead, filled with hot, steaming Irish coffee on a white Sunday morn could cross the line here all to quickly in this thread.
“too” I meant “too”! I hate one syllable homonymes and reading iambic pentameter prose.
“WARNING ADULT CONTENT FOLLOWS:”
More dignity than it merits. How about:
WARNING _ADOLESCENT_ CONTENT FOLLOWS
“homonyms” I meant “homonyms! Dastardly plural spelling rules.
CONGRATULATION WUWT!
This confirms the many opinions, thoughts and comentaries we have had for several years here in WUWT: All this is chemically pure NEW AGE!!!!!!!!
This speaks a lot, a complete library!, of how these NEW AGE guys have been enrolled, as easy prey of the Club of Rome and the kind, who are after a global government ( a “Brave New World” order ) where they will be the “Alphas” and we the “Gammas”. Leaders and followers share the same idiocy, the same eagerness for POWER. This is simply madness for us hardworking and common people. Just think it over: Why in the world should I need or wish to control other peoples lives?, Why in the world a human being would it need to have more than, say, a million (or a billion) dollars?
It´s plain insanity. So both are not evil but fool.
Have you ever thought about the idiocy of a powerful man like Fidel Castro, being prisoner of himself, jailed in a caribean island?
Lives of we the commoners are by far plenty of happiness and satisfaction.
From Pachauri´s new age´s “hippisim” to Hugo Chavez´s banana republic´s or some New York bankers´dreams of global domination there is no difference.
We are living in really “interesting times” where we are given the very special opportunity of watching NUDE all these characters. What a show!
Let´s buy more popcorn!
This is a case of VANITY.
Maybe it should be called “Vanity Affair”…
Human Nature for sure, but difficult for the vain to admit or self-identify within themselves.
Blinded by vanity.
Even good and honorable people can fall victim to vanity — say a beautiful women pays attention to a middle-aged, hair thining, on the pudgy side man, but she has ulterior motives — quite likely, the man will have a hard time seeing that…or he may not care, things being the way they are between the sexes.
Obviously, this isn’t limited to sexual relations.
Apparently, Pachauri can’t see how utterly ridiculous this looks to other people.
Sadly, vanity plays in many circumstances to trap people into situations that play against their long-term interests — the question is how to gently cause the “scales to fall from their eyes” without irrevocably offending them.
It is a “touchy” subject to broach, after all, nobody likes to think they were taken advantage of because of their vanity, nor do they want to have their vanity exposed.
I’ve never thought that recycling paper was a worthwile activity but surely this work is a prime candidate for resurrecting as toilet paper. It could even lead to a resurgence of good old-fashioned book-burning.
What an accomplished writer! Science fiction AND smut.
Two winters ago, I was placed back in the dark ages when the septic system at the ranch, pipes and all, froze solid. So out the back door we went, literally. However, the Sears n’ Roe’s catalog paper is too slick these days to be used for more important jobs. Books still use fairly toothy paper. Had I a novel this bad, I would have grabbed it.
>>I envisage plenty of red silk hankerchiefs being offered,
>>should the man so much as snivvle!
Ho, ho.
If there is ever a protest against AGW and the IPCC, the symbol of protest just has to be the red silk hanky.
Ha, ha, ha. What a Jerk!! (sic).
.
Although not likely to be against the law in India, but are we not now seeing personal, not just coorporate/nonprofit profit from the fact that this idiot is the chair of IPCC? Deny it now.
@ur momisugly Tom Stark (20:57:22) :
Tom, thanks for the link. I find it very hard to believe that Dr. Kevin Trenberth would actually say something like this:
“The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has spoken:
“Warming of the climate system is unequivocal” and it is “very likely” due to human activities. In recognition of the stalwart work over 20 years, the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the IPCC and Al Gore.”
from http://rayharvey.org/index.php/2010/01/dr-william-gray-and-dr-kevin-trenberth-debate-global-warming-part-1/
How can people continue to reference the IPCC and Al Gore as “credible” sources in the study of the earths climate? Unbelievable.