No Clue Haiku – Temp Rise Past Due

Guest Post by Ira Glickstein.

Oceanographer Gregory Johnson, Lead Author of the IPCC AR5 chapter on marine measurements, has summarized the entire 2,200 pages in 19 nicely illustrated haiku. Haiku is an artful Japanese writing form with a 5-7-5 cadence.

Here is one example that stood out for me.

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But IPCC Climate Models seem to get worse over time, see my recent posting.

To his credit, Johnson does acknowledge the “pause” and even attributes some of it to the Sun (low Sunspot cycles?). But also to volcanos, and, of course, all that heat hiding in the oceans.

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I did a search on “WUWT haiku” and found this much better example from Willis Eschenbach’s the Moon is a Cold Mistress:

O beautiful full moon!
Circling the pond all night
even to the end

Matsuo Basho, 1644-1694

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Speaking of Haikus, this was posted on The Weather Channel recently. – Anthony

Academics shriek

‘all that happens proves my faith

press all say ‘amen’

More grant money sates

angry academic gods

lapping at the trough

Source:

http://www.weather.com/news/science/environment/entire-ipcc-climate-report-distilled-19-illustrated-haiku-20140120

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84 thoughts on “No Clue Haiku – Temp Rise Past Due

  1. Temp rise is only past due if temp rise is expected. If temp rise is not expected, then the climate is doing just fine.

    [Right, which is why the haiku that claims climate models are getting better is a "no clue haiku". The IPCC models predict temp rise HANDCUFFED to CO2 rise. CO2 rise continues but temps are level, which proves climate models are getting worse. Ira]

  2. We are always right
    Models are always correct
    Must hide the decline

    Models diverge more
    Reality must be wrong
    See we are correct

    It is really cold
    This just proves global warming
    Send us more money

  3. And then there is from the lovely Gary Snyder. This from The Back Country:

    Scrap brass
    dumpt off the fantail
    falling six miles

  4. Is this like the one arm fisherman holding up his one good hand and saying ‘I caught a fish this long’

  5. I especially like the “selective heat sequestration” property of the ocean. Amazing that it just seems to ‘know’ to sequester now and knew not not to sequester 20 years ago. It’s so.. so.. cute!

  6. The first time I saw this, it seemed very profound. Since then, others have said similar things. I don’t know if this is the first occurrence, but it is short:

    “John Silver says:
    December 30, 2013 at 9:13 am
    It’s not a pause, it’s a peak.”

    doesn’t that give you a chill? If he’s right, it will, someday…

  7. Haikus must be the most abused of all art forms. They look like what was left on the cutting table when someone tried to assemble a proper poem. Now, most conventional poems don’t make any sense either, but at least they rhyme.

    Here is my Haiku, obtained from one of several on-line Haiku generators:

    fires sicken, nectars
    oozing, brightly, grassy souls
    wailing, squealing eels

    As good as any I have seen.

  8. heats gone hiding
    who can tell
    haiku may hide it
    down the well

    [The mods are refraining from line counting, spelling, ryhmning, rythymning, tyming, thyming, or syllabication correction on this thread. ...]

  9. a new fallacy to contend with
    appeal to haiku

    they’ll stop at nothing to convince us of whats NOT happening with the models is actually happening eventually, sorta, soon, probably, because the poem said so

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    weather is happening
    oh and climate change too

  10. J. Herbst says:
    January 20, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    Possibly limericks would be more fit for the IPPC and the fifth report. Has anybody a good one?

    There once was a lady from Regina … I’ll stop there …

  11. J. Herbst says:@ January 20, 2014 at 2:36 pm
    Possibly limericks would be more fit for the IPPC and the fifth report. Has anybody a good one?
    ………………………
    Rob aka Flatlander says: @ January 20, 2014 at 3:46 pm
    There once was a lady from Regina … I’ll stop there …
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    The limerick packs versus anatomical
    In a form that is most economical
    But the good ones I’ve seen so seldom are clean
    But the clean ones so seldom are comical ~ Dr. Asimov

  12. There once was a fellow named Mann
    Who came up with a clever plan
    Mikes Nature trick
    was to invent the Hockey Stick
    Then sue whoever he can

  13. I just don’t understand how the land can warm more than the sea. To be sure the land is more violent in its temperature changes, but as someone who lives under the influence of a sea breeze, if it gets too hot the sea will regulate the land. Too clever for me!

  14. The climate scientists need to take a class on information entrophy.
    They are clueless when it comes to things like degrees of freedom.
    Sir step away from your coefficients.

  15. Predictions fail. Must
    add more auxiliary
    hypotheses.

    Model twisting in
    Wind. Not that that matters much.
    It’s still well funded.

  16. See Jack
    See Jack run
    Run Jack, run.
    See Spot.
    See Spot run.
    Run Spot, run.
    Why does Jack run?
    Why does Spot run?
    See Gregory Johnson.
    See Gregory Johnson paint.
    Paint Gregory Johnson, paint.
    See our money.
    See our money burn.
    Burn money, burn.
    See Gregory Johnson describe the mechanism behind gravity.
    See Gregory Johnson paint.
    See Gregory Johnson reconcile Quantum physics with Relativity theory.
    See Gregory Johnson paint.
    See Gregory Johnson explain consciousness, sentience, the smile response, separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, aggressor identification, cultural identification, political and social structures, history and his knowledge of such to leave our children a better world.
    See Gregory Johnson blather.
    Blather Gregory Johnson, blather.
    See Gregory Johnson paint and blather.
    See Gregory Johnson bloviate.
    See Gregory Johnson paint, blather, and bloviate.
    See our lifestyles.
    See Gregory Johnson paint over our lifestyles.
    See people swoon over Gregory Johnson’s talent.
    Gregory Johnson has no talent.
    See Jack run.
    Run Jack, run.

  17. There was a poor doctor called Mann
    whose hockey stick graph had some fans
    Until M and M saw
    that the graph had a flaw
    Mann should put the graph in the can.

  18. I’m not a fan of attempted haiku in English.

    First, in English syllables are less well defined than Japanese on. (Com – for – tab – le = four syllables, maybe? But when pronounced “comf-tble”, is it two or three?)

    Second, English does not have a standard stock of season words.

    (For more on the structure of haiku:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku )

    In English it seem to me that haiku are produced by those who wish to seem fashionable and those who are too lazy to master metre, rhyme, etc.

  19. Puke. I just looked at them all. Sad, depressing nonsense. Mostly lies. I feel sad for Gregory Johnson because his view of the world is so depressing (and not tied to reality).

  20. There once was CRU named Hadley,
    whose scientists behaved quite badly.
    They meddled and meddled
    until their science was settled.
    And we’ve all had to pay for it, sadly.

  21. The 16 year pause is alarming
    The Antarctic ice must be harming
    …All weather’s the same
    …Climate change is to blame
    ‘Cause everything proves global warming.

  22. If these pathetic examples are haiku, then I’m William Shakespeare and I watch porcine aerobatics out my library window every morning after breakfast. RoHa, you’re being far too polite. These amateurish attempts have nothing to do with haiku. [I reject the absurd notion that the ability to count to seventeen is any sign of haiku artistry.]

  23. jorgekafkazar says: @ January 20, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    If these pathetic examples are haiku, then I’m William Shakespeare ..
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Your the 17th Earl of Oxford?

    Actually most are satire.

  24. There once was a wish on a planet
    that life would stay simple like granite
    so plan it they did
    and the coldness they hid
    til their toes did fall off, godamnit

  25. There once was a fellow named Mike
    who invented a termperature spike.
    The greenies all swooned
    now the earth won’t be ruined,
    just the people from whom we’ll all taik.

    (OK, OK, it’s a stretch….but the poetic models say….)

  26. Goodness, even had an unintended typo there….sorry…
    There once was a fellow named Mike
    who invented a temperature spike.
    The greenies all swooned
    now the earth won’t be ruined,
    just the people from whom we’ll all taik.

    (OK, OK, it’s a stretch….but the poetic models say….)

  27. Perhaps more Lowku than Haiku?
    (Might be appropriate considering what solar and wind are doing to the environment…and our wallets…)

  28. There once was a molecule in flight
    that was semitransparent to light
    It got all the blame
    though the proof was quite lame
    “why should I give a darn ’bout their plight”

  29. At one time I was using my Stihl
    in an effort to combat the chill
    the tree looked at me
    whilst it said, earily
    “I can widen my grain pattern at will”

  30. Something I wrote in 1965 at the Aspen School of Contemporary Art:

    world tomato
    red and ripe
    soon will rot
    bacteria

    Still don’t know what the hell I meant…

    Here’s another from that summer:

    The Dead Pony

    my pony is dead and it’s funny
    a pony is dead if never born
    my pony was never born
    I never had a pony
    I never wanted one

  31. There once was a ship from Nantucket
    Which got stuck in the ice like a bucket.
    When they called in distress
    And the copters were blessed
    And the science that they gathered did suck it

  32. Rev 1:
    There once was a ship from Nantucket
    Which got stuck in the ice like a bucket.
    When they called in distress
    And the copter was blessed
    But the science they gathered did suck it

  33. There was a Mann from Penn State
    Whose hockey stick did not hesitate
    To misrepresent the past
    Through an incompetent cast
    The temperature record they did inflate

  34. There once was a clan from Nantucket
    for whom noone was worth carrying their bucket
    as they pushed their decree
    to perhaps fight one degree
    they thought, now those damn injuns can suck it.

  35. There was a sad clan from Nantucket
    for whom skiing and flying had no luck it
    was said in the air
    also said on the chair
    if you can’t see where you’re going don’t tuck it.

    (ohh, I am sooo sorry)

  36. Consider Al Gore
    Bloviating CO2
    Watt is up with that.

    [GREAT, I like all the haiku (and limericks) but this one especially nails it for me. Thanks. Ira]

  37. Row, pole, pull your boat
    Carefully up the stream.
    Warily, charily, quite contrarily:
    Life is not a dream.

    Just a parody that came to me a few days ago. I know–send it back. It was fun, though. I’m not a poet, professional or otherwise, but I did teach English for the last four years of my career, including English haiku, limericks, quatrains, sonnets, and other poetic forms. I appreciate the efforts of contributors here to catch the spirit of poetry while exposing or explaining something about the current situation–something most poetry was never meant to do. At least haiku in Japan were meant to comment on nature, which the ones in this thread do also, at least tangentially.

    Waiting for the storm,
    We hear the weathermen say,
    “This one’s a doozy.”

    Can we explain it
    As just more global warming?
    Sure; but we’ll be wrong.

    We can only hope
    Electric power stays on.
    If not, ’twill be cold.

  38. The truly sad thing is not the haikus but the comments after the article on the original website – amongst other comments are teachers frothing at the mouth to use it in their classes…smh…

  39. Charlie Johnson (@SemperBanU) says: @ January 20, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    A guy named Keith got a call
    “We need hockey sticks quite tall!”
    Keith then replied
    “I will give it a try
    using a magic tree from Yamal”

    I really like that limerick, but the haiku leave me cold

    We can only hope
    Electric power stays on.
    If not, ’twill be cold.

    H/T Dr. John M. Ware @ January 21, 2014 at 2:29 am

    My husband is the writer and poet in the family.

  40. RoHa says:
    January 20, 2014 at 5:19 pm
    ###

    While I tend to agree that most attempts at haiku in English are lame, I have seen some wonderful ones. A month or so ago, one was posted as a comment here at WUWT. It even had a season word and a proper haiku last line. I should have bookmarked it.

  41. Revisions (and additions)

    There once was a compound in flight
    that was semitransparent to light
    it got all the blame
    (though the proof was quite lame)
    “why should I give a damn ’bout their plight”

    At one time I was using my Stihl
    in an effort to stave off the chill
    the tree looked at me,
    whilst it said, eerily,
    “I can widen my grain width at will”

    OK. New.

    There once was a man named Al Gore
    who had to settle a score
    has was made quite mad
    by a hanging chad
    And decided to make up a lore.

    The internet that he created
    was from the beginning, fated
    to spread the warning
    of global warming
    thus he snared the masses he baited.

  42. Maybe another noble poetry form could be posted on markers in the Arctic and Antarctic
    for “vacationing” scientists (or was that scientific vacationers?) to help them on their way:

    Missing heat
    Models fail
    No poles are bare
    Warmists wail

    Burma shave

  43. Watts crew: Nice haiku
    and great limericks that rhyme.
    A very happy time.

    C O 2 goes up
    but temperatures are flat.
    Climate models fail.

    Climate will change
    in a reasonable range.
    Humans will adapt.

    We once had a VP named Gore,
    Who thought carbon was evil for sure,
    – He hopped on a stage,
    – And in a great rage,
    A curse against C O 2 swore.

    We now have a Skeptic named Watts,
    Who counters Alarmist robots,
    – He has a website,
    – That’s viewed day and night,
    And helps us connect all the dots.

    Tightly handcuffed to C O 2,
    Climate Models don’t have a clue,
    – Set them free,
    – Let them be,
    Truthful and useful to me and you.

    Ira

  44. RoHa says:
    January 20, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Agreed. Haiku don’t work very well in English.

    Curiously, save for a very few exceptions that end in ‘n’, all Japanese words end with a vowel sound: ah ee oo eh oh

    Obviously, it would be very easy for the Japanese to compose rhymes if they so desired, and apparently there are rhyming forms in Japanese, and then there is Japanese Pop.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_poetry

    I would recommend study or enjoyment of haiku in their native Japanese;
    this is one of the most famous, by Basho

    古池や
    蛙飛び込む
    水の音

    Furu ike ya
    Kawazu tobikomu
    Mizu no oto

    Oh, the ancient pond
    The frog takes a flying leap
    The sound of water

    Finally, this little ditty that I intended to post on the ‘econo flush’ threat, but I read, instead:

    There’s more than just
    Numbers 1 and 2
    What gets flushed
    Down the loo too

  45. There once was a man named Turney
    Who planned an antarctic journey
    He thought it was warm
    Yet ice is the norm
    He now needs a good attorney

    Eugene WR Gallun

  46. I prefer pentameter, well I prefer the heroic couplet but that’s hard. Haiku is really easy if you have nothing useful to say.

    Oh Mann et al. release your data now.
    You say the change is real, so show us how.
    Science depends on verifications,
    so release it now and show the nations
    you are not a fraud but a scientist,
    and found a trend that reality missed.
    I can claim I can turn lead into gold;
    without proof I would never be so bold.
    Well, you tell us we should accept your truth:
    when questioned you call names and act uncouth.
    But..
    You’re just a fraud and not a scientist;
    the record shows you throw out smoke and mist.
    Your theory denies observable fact
    so you and your buddies have made a pact;
    to tell the lefties what they want to hear
    and sell us all on a climate of fear

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