Friday Funny – Seth Borenstein’s best headline evah

Gosh, who knew?

obama_day_to_day

Borenstein writes:

In September, campaigning in Colorado, Obama was talking to a potential voter who mentioned he had been one of the hundreds of thousands of people outdoors at Obama’s bone-chilling first inaugural when the noontime temperature was an unseasonable chilly 28 degrees. Obama promised: “This one is going to be warmer.”

Scientifically, the president doesn’t have control of day-to-day weather. While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale, they cannot do anything about Washington’s daily temperature on Jan. 21.

Source: http://cnsnews.com/news/article/ap-obama-doesnt-have-control-day-day-weather

Words just completely fail me here. All I can do is laugh, and wonder if new newspaper gig is in Seth’s future, I hear there’s an opening.

WeeklyWorldNews2[1]

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66 Responses to Friday Funny – Seth Borenstein’s best headline evah

  1. DirkH says:

    He’ll bypass congress with an executive order. That should do the trick.

  2. Other_Andy says:

    Small fry for someone who can stop the rise of the oceans and heal the planet….

  3. David Oliver Smith says:

    You haven’t heard “Obama flaps his lips and it rains in China”?

  4. Green Sand says:

    Scientifically, the president doesn’t have control of day-to-day weather.

    When you have the ear of Hansen, there is no need to control day-to-day weather.

  5. jim bishop says:

    Quality newspapers you seem to have in th US, thank heaven for the internet.

  6. Taphonomic says:

    “While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale”

    I like the use of the word “projected” in there. One has to question: how exactly?

    Even the IPCC and Hansen seem to be lessening future “projected” global warming. This kinda makes one think that when a scientific prediction fails to materialize, it’s time to chuck your hypothesis.

  7. jeff 5778 says:

    He is a joke and the right people aren’t laughing.

  8. Kurt in Switzerland says:

    Excellent, Dirk!
    The President, by Executive Order, can and should adjust the temperature readings (by adding values for the multivariate el Nin ̃o index, aerosol optical thickness data and total solar irradiance); and if that’s not sufficient, he can always change the past!

    Kurt in Switzerland

  9. Joe Public says:

    It depends upon whether you want it to rain or not.

  10. FerdinandAkin says:

    Not to worry, Dr. James Hansen will simply adjust the GISS record, and by the end of the month what President Obama said will be historically correct.

  11. Mark and two Cats says:

    If it’s cold he can just tell his thralls that it’s warm and they will unquestioningly believe him.

    “Question Authority” only applies to non-leftists; they happily swallow the BS of obama and the warmunists.

    WAR IS PEACE – FREEDOM IS SLAVERY – IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH – COLD IS WARM

  12. Severian says:

    Yeah, he would, but the evil Bushitler and Darth Cheney hid the keys to the weather machine they used to make Katrina hit Nawlins with! Gotta be Bush’s fault, everything else seems to be.

  13. Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:

    Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.

  14. Paul Westhaver says:

    I saw this on Drudge today. It made me smile. So the ethereal moving light Obama commands not the natural forces? Be he not a creature in the Godly Realm but that of human flesh. Oh woe is me. I have looked upon the image of God and alas, I saw merely an unworn suit.

  15. Mark Bofill says:

    “Let it be known that this was the day the oceans stopped rising and the planet began to heal.” Maybe statements like these build up unrealistic expectations among the faithful. ~shrug~

  16. CodeTech says:

    It wasn’t 28 degrees last time. The weather last time was perfectly fine. I am able to control the weather. This year will be completely awesome. These are not the droids you’re looking for.

    (try this: http://verybadfrog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/These-are-not-the-droids-youre-looking-for-6.jpg )

  17. James Sexton says:

    Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
    January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.
    =================================================
    Well, farmers pray for rain when needed and sunshine…. I think snow would be okay, too. Especially seeing that it’s for the children!

  18. John W. Garrett says:

    Borenstein is a professional regurgitator.

    There’s not an ounce of independent thought or judgment anywhere in sight.

  19. Geoff says:

    I’ve been wondering if Obama is going to stick around for a billion years to prevent the earth from being consumed by the sun when it becomes a red giant.

  20. zefal says:

    I still contain control of the day to day weather. obama and his cronies still haven’t been able to locate me. All I can say is if osama bin laden had my travel agent, he would still be alive. Must go now; the Belize authorities are closing in.

  21. Paddy says:

    Obama can always prove his messianic powers by sitting on his throne near the low tide line at the Bay of Fundy and command the incoming tide to reverse and flow outward.

  22. u.k.(us) says:

    He emerged from the bowels of the Chicago political machine, the most corrupt city, in the most corrupt state, in our union.
    Never vetted, never tested, worst of all, never questioned.

    The fourth estate lives in fear of being shunned his attentions.

  23. Mac the Knife says:

    jeff 5778 says:
    January 18, 2013 at 12:40 pm
    “He is a joke and the right people aren’t laughing.”

    Very good, Jeff!

    David Oliver Smith says:
    January 18, 2013 at 12:35 pm
    “You haven’t heard “Obama flaps his lips and it rains in China”?”

    Even better, David!
    MtK

  24. Greg Goodman says:

    Taphonomic says:
    “While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale”
    I like the use of the word “projected” in there. One has to question: how exactly?

    Congratulations, you have won the mystery prise. You spotted weasel word.

    Pres. Obama can do sweet F.A. about future global warming but he probably can “on a large scale” affect _projected_ warming, ie. he can affect the _projections_ .

    By failing to use his influence with the state attorney, in his home state of Illinois, to ensure that self-confessed criminal Peter Gliek does not get exempted from prosecution. By allowing his employee Hansen to continue using his role as a NASA scientist to give undue credibility to his activist ventures and to allow him to continue making considerable sums from outside activities, contrary to regulations for government employees.

    Yes, he probably can lessen or worsen future global warming projections to a large degree.

    So far the evidence is that he intends to use his office to worsen them.

  25. RockyRoad says:

    I am at a loss for words. Now mind you, I have a lot of sneering, even evil thoughts, but I shall remain wordless.

  26. Kelly says:

    According to Newsweek this will be the second coming. I would imagine when the heavens open up that will make things pretty toasty. Maybe toastier for some than others.

  27. Steve Thatcher says:

    Mark Bofill says:
    January 18, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    “Let it be known that this was the day the oceans stopped rising and the planet began to heal.” Maybe statements like these build up unrealistic expectations among the faithful. ~shrug~
    **************************************************************************************************

    That would make Obama just like another King Cnut.
    Oh, nad before you sak there is no dyslexia in my family.

    Steve T.

  28. handjive says:

    Pelosi: Obama can’t control the weather

    “There are some decisions that are made from a different place and whether it rains or not is not in the president’s control.”

    http://thehill.com/conventions-2012/dem-convention-charlotte/247641-pelosi-obamas-good-but-cant-control-the-weather

    In Australia, we have proof a carbon (sic) tax & trade doesn’t work.

    The Australian PM, JuLiar Galah’d, who introduced a carbon (sic) tax after pledging not to, in her “letter to Australians” on Jan 2013, says,” We’ll never again see a world without global warming.”

    http://www.michaelsmithnews.com/2013/01/the-prime-ministers-letter-to-australians-first-printed-in-news-ltd-publications.html#

    Obviously an admittance that a tax on an atmospheric gas doesn’t work.

    What is the carbon (sic) tax for?

    PS. Google the ‘galah’ for further info. It’s not a word of endearment in Oz.

  29. Of course El Presidente can control the temperature.

    That’s what thermo-nuclear is all about. Istn’t it?

  30. Gareth says:

    When I used to visit the US I used to love reading the World Weekly News. It’s a great American Institution – a bit like James Hansen. No comment about Obama though, he’s your business :-)

  31. Sam Schulz says:

    Gosh I miss the Weekly World News. Admittely Time and Newsweek are just as reliable but no where near as creative.

  32. A.D. Everard says:

    Steve Thatcher says:
    January 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    Mark Bofill says:
    January 18, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    “Let it be known that this was the day the oceans stopped rising and the planet began to heal.” Maybe statements like these build up unrealistic expectations among the faithful. ~shrug~
    **************************************************************************************************

    That would make Obama just like another King Cnut.
    Oh, nad before you sak there is no dyslexia in my family.

    Steve T.

    *

    HAHAHAHAHA! Thank you, Steve! That is hilarious! It’s going on my wall. :)

  33. Robin Hewitt says:

    Don’t forget, the weather can be controlled by careful positioning of Al Gore.

  34. Tim Ball says:

    They should call in Ex-Senator Tim Wirth who is infamous for creating the temperature conditions for events on Capitol Hill. He arranged conditions suitable for James Hansen’s appearance in 1988 by bringing hot air from outside.

    http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/hotpolitics/interviews/wirth.html

    For the inauguration, he could open the windows again and let all the hot air from the politicians warm the proceedings.

  35. Mike McMillan says:

    By BY SETH BORENSTEIN, Associated Press

    Prophetic?
    Misspelled bye, BTW.

  36. kim says:

    He’s heard of Tim Wirth’s trick and is planning to open the windows.
    ============

  37. James McCauley says:

    Gareth,
    WWN ceased publishing years ago, but I just checked and it’s online now – some of the best of the U.S. at your fingertips – wherever! What a find. I’m thrilled.

    When some DC related topics come up I sometimes shrug at the thought that someday BHO will be sipping umbrella drinks somewhere in between guffaws at how unbelievably stupid and gullible enough of the “counted” U.S. voters were to elect such an opportunistic fraud to the most powerful Government position on earth and love him for it.

    Barnum’s “A sucker’s born every minute.” has been buried by “The greatest nation’s suckers render the U.S. oblivious to the debates.” Here’s hoping there’s a mess to clean up.

    That being said WChannel says 43F and partly cloudy on Monday. All’s to be well in the nearly wealthiest district in the US.

  38. DesertYote says:

    “While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale, ”
    ###

    I am pretty sure that “The One” designs his policies to maximize fear and uncertainty, so his policies will most likely encourage the scariest warming projections.

  39. Ric Werme says:

    Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
    January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.

    Oh no, please, please pray for memorable snows, and it doesn’t take much on Inauguration Day to be memorable. It will help dissuade Congress (and Obama’s Executive Order form) from spending our income on harebrained climate control schemes.

    While I do love good snow storms, the video of Air Force 1 landing in snow bringing the President home a day early from the Copenhagen COP was well worth losing that blizzard to the mid-Atlantic. I think DC needs a few reminders this year.

  40. Pamela Gray says:

    Either Obama is in on the entire sordid affair, which makes him a con man wanting to run the US into the ground, or he was duped by the entire sordid affair, which makes him too stupid to run the US anywhere but into the ground.

  41. Richard Keen says:

    …Obama’s bone-chilling first inaugural when the noontime temperature was an unseasonable chilly 28 degrees.
    Unseasonable? in January? When should chilly weather occur?

  42. DaveA says:

    This revelation will upset a lot of people.

  43. kim says:

    Dang, Tim Ball beat me to the Tim Wirth joke by 15 minutes. I couldn’t read his because it was still in moderation. The best part of the joke is Obama thinking he could open windows and heat up the joint. You can in Chicago.
    =============

  44. john robertson says:

    @ Pamela Gray, thats true of all the activists and enablers, either corrupt or drooling nitwits.
    Seth Bore-stein is shown up for his “unbiased” reporting skills in Climate-gate 1.
    I wonder if he writes his own material or just takes dictation.

  45. actuator says:

    NWS forecasts a low of 30F and a high of 39, so it will be warmer, but not noticeably so.

  46. Gerard says:

    Why not an executive order that all thermometers be adjusted up by 6 degrees – problem solved!

  47. Gail Combs says:

    Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
    January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    I am an agnostic and I’m praying for a nice “Extreme” Blizzard. A nice Polar Express would be lovely right now.

  48. Chris Nelli says:

    I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: Seth Borenstein is the worst.

  49. Skeptik says:

    Steve Thatcher says:
    January 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm
    That would make Obama just like another King Cnut.

    Hardly
    King Cnut tried to hold back the tide to show his fawning supporters that he wasn’t omnipotent, this hardly applies to B.O.

  50. Jeff Alberts says:

    Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
    January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.

    Not sinful, just a useless endeavour.

  51. Goode 'nuff says:

    It shows us how styles have changed… George Washington is referred to as ‘The Father of our great Country’… Nowadays Obama is referenced as some kind of a son ;)

  52. Ian H says:

    What HAVE they done to that poor Tuatara

  53. Radical Rodent says:

    Steve Thatcher says:
    January 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    …King Cnut.

    Used to be called King Canute, in the days when historians were well aware of what schoolboys’ minds were like.

  54. CodeTech says:

    Historical inauguration day temperatures are at this link:
    http://www.wtop.com/41/3197004/Weather-doesnt-always-cooperate-on-Inauguration-Day-

    Nothing even remotely unusual about zero’s first inauguration.

  55. A Lovell says:

    Radical Rodent says:January 19, 2013 at 1:14 am

    “Used to be called King Canute, in the days when historians were well aware of what schoolboys’ minds were like.”

    ===========

    I missed a day of school when they started teaching about Canute. In our history books it was spelled Knut. The next day I was asked to read from the book, and (naturally!) pronounced it as Nut, much to the amusement of the class. Maybe I wasn’t so wrong………..

  56. A Lovell says:

    Sorry, I know Canute (Cnut, Knut) was demonstrating he couldn’t control the seas. I meant to add, ‘where Obama is concerned’.

  57. mogamboguru says:

    I sincerely hope Al Gore will attend his inauguration…

  58. Dreadnought says:

    Rumour has it that Al Gore has been asked to stay the heck away on the 21st.

  59. Andrew says:

    I’m confused- I thought he was trying to make it cooler!

  60. Rational Debate says:

    Obama promises someone this year’s inauguration will be warmer than the last – his narcissism knows no bounds. Here are various Obama statements:

    Tweets about “his” middle-class tax cut that is really Bush’s from 2003 – after demonizing the Bush tax cuts for several years http://tinyurl.com/8tr9goo

    President Obama, who was a constitutional law lecturer, in 2012 dismissed the U.S. Supreme Court as “an unelected group of people [who] would somehow overturn a duly constituted and passed law.”

    Obama takes an oath before God to uphold the Constitution, and yet he decides it’s not politically expedient for him to deal with due process or spying on citizens and has his Attorney General justify murdering US citizens — and then adds a signing statement saying, “Well, I’m not going to do anything with this stuff because I’m a good guy.”

    Obama = God, magical powers, or alien technology? “…I am absolutely certain that generations from now we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs for the jobless. This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal…. ” (Obama’s Nomination Victory Speech in St. Paul June 3, 2008)

    “I am going to try to be so persuasive, so that those of you who are still wavering…will suddenly come to the conclusion — a light beam will shine through — will light you up — and you will experience an epiphany — I have to vote for Barack!” (Barack Obama, Lebanon, New Hampshire Jan. 7,2008)

    Obama: The Day I’m Inaugurated Muslim Hostility Will Ease…because he’d lived in a Muslim country – until he was 10 years old. Latest polls, he’s reviled in the Middle East and no more liked than Bush was. http://tinyurl.com/8lwggbh = http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2012/09/14/FLASHBACK-Obama-The-Day-Im-Inaugurated-Muslim-Hostility-Will-Ease

    2008 Nomination acceptance speech in front of fake Greek Columns on the football field

    Vowed that, just as he would to fundamentally transform America, he would “remake the world once again.”

    Wrote two autobiographies before he turned 45. Hubris? Autobiographies that turned out to be not very autobiographical after all, no less. You know, ‘composite people’ and ‘composite or representative circumstances’ and all, throughout the books – and only admitted to after he was caught out about those little factual deficiencies.

    Inserted himself into official government website biographies of almost all past presidents http://tinyurl.com/9ysrjra

    Likens himself to Gandhi and Nelson Mandela

    Inserted himself into official government ‘Fact Sheets’ about other nations. This is unprescidented, and nation Fact Sheets are supposed to be directly and only about factual information regarding the specific nation.

    Created version of American Flag with stars replaced by the “O” Obama campaign logo, and sold for $35 on campaign website. http://tinyurl.com/8p9hcty Then deleted the Obamerican flag from a campaign tweet after complaints were received, but continued selling it from the campaign website.

    When we lost Neil Armstrong, first man to walk on the moon 8/24/2012, as a tribute to Neil Armstrong, Obama posts a photo of himself taken several months ago. http://tinyurl.com/8nvzqeh The Ego Has Landed. Irony: The man who gutted the space program and directed NASA to implement a new mission; to improve Muslim relations, posted a picture of himself under a crescent moon in tribute to the first man to walk on the moon…

    Used fake Presidential Seal during his pre-presidency campaign

    Said he’s the 4th greatest President of all time

    Asked to define sin, Barack Obama replied that sin is “being out of alignment with my values.”

    “I think that I’m a better speechwriter than my speechwriters,” Mr. Obama told Patrick Gaspard, his political director, at the start of the 2008 campaign, according to The New Yorker. “I know more about policies on any particular issue than my policy directors. And I’ll tell you right now that I’m going to think I’m a better political director than my political director.”

    He has mentioned more than once in recent weeks that he cooks “a really mean chili.” He has impressive musical pitch, he told an Iowa audience.

    He is “a surprisingly good pool player, so if you ever see me in a pool hall, don’t just think that you can, uh,..” [interviewer inserted "don't walk up and throw money down"] “that’s exactly what I’m sayin, cause, I might end up cleaning your clock.” he informed an interviewer — not to mention (though he does) a doodler of unusual skill…When he reads a book to children, he starts out by telling them he’s going to do “the best rendition ever.” He constantly talks about being the best.

    Further, Washington Democrats say he is all too eager to offer unsolicited advice — on handshakes, writing, and parenting, among other topics. At one of his farewell meetings for White House interns, Mr. Obama dispensed some life advice. “When you all have kids, it’s important to let them win,” he said with a smile. “Until they’re a year old. Then start winning.” So he competes against infants?!

    At the 2004 Democratic convention—Mr. Obama explained to a Chicago Tribune reporter that “I’m LeBron, baby. I can play at this level. I got game.”

    Pictures himself as a member of “some of the best basketball players on earth. ”

    With a group of basketball legends sitting nearby, Obama said: “It’s very rare that I come to an event where I’m like the fifth- or sixth-most interesting person,” Aug. 22, 2012

    Obama loves to hear himself talk – about himself. In just 41 speeches so this year, not including this week’s big speech at the United Nations, Obama has talked about himself nearly 1,200 times – 1,198 to be exact. (That breaks down to 1,121 “I”s and just 77 “me”s.)

    Raffles visit to his Chicago home on his Birthday for $3 per ticket

    Sept 2012, Obama is dying to meet you and thank you – if you pay him. “So if you’re someone who is helping to build this campaign, I want to meet you. I want to thank you in person. And I’d love to hear what’s on your mind. This is the last time we’ll be able to sit down together for one of these — so I hope you’ll take me up on it. Your donation of $12 or whatever you’re able to chip in will automatically enter you [in raffle for dinner with him]” http://tinyurl.com/9d47h8b

    Obama agreed to an interview with a DJ “Pimp with a Limp.” Asked “How are you, sir?” Obama replied “Blessed and highly favored.” from: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/nakedpolitics/2012/09/dolphins-dissing-president-obama-chats-pitbull-medicare-on-911-with-pimp-with-the-limp-dj.html#storylink=cpy

    When host and veteran journalist Barbara Walters kidded Michelle Obama about bringing the president as her “date,” to an appearance on “The View” Obama quipped, “I’ve been told I’m just eye candy here.”…

    During the show, the Obamas joked about their upcoming anniversary and presented the hosts with White House cloth napkins, golf balls, candy and bottles of Obama’s home-brewed beer.

    Obama ad: Few presidents have faced so many challenges

    As a formal official gift, President Obama and First Lady gave Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II an ipod uploaded with his speeches, photos of his inauguration, and show tunes, plus photos of her visit to the USA.

  61. Ian H says:

    To “Rational Debate” and others. I find your anti-Obama obsession to be over the top and distatsteful. It is one thing to disagree with a man’s politics. It is quite another to try to turn his name into some kind of swear word.

  62. Rational Debate says:

    To Ian H – why do you have a problem with exact quotes directly from Obama himself, and recounting his actions? You believe his own words and actions turn his name into a swear word? Interesting.

  63. Richard Keen says:

    Rational Debate just gave us a fabulous recount of great Obamanations of the recent past. Today was his official swearing in, and although it wasn’t the lavish inauguration with Lady Gaga, he did give a short speech. After being sworn in by Justice Michelle, he said, “I did it”.
    http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/obama-i-did-it_696501.html
    No torches passed to a new generation, no morning in America, just a simple three word speech in the first person singular. Brevity is the soul of nit.. , oh, never mind.
    Pity all his speeches can’t be so to the point.

  64. Gareth Phillips says:

    Whatever the weather, the inauguration today will be a great event for a good man who will go down in history as a great President. Despite it’s problems the USA is fundamentally a decent country which abides by democratic processes and will see past petty jealousies and politics to ensure President Obama’s presidency benefits the country, come rain or shine. Have a great day over there and stay warm.

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