From Planet Gore, this has to be the poop de grace of bureaucratic achievement in the climate and ecology category.
Not a Square to Spare [Chris Horner]
Where are the Beatles when you need them? Someone inside EPA has brought to my attention how Oregon Rep. Earl Blumenauer has proposed legislation calling on a federal agency to define toilet paper.
Really. It says it right in the bill, the “Water Resources Protection Act” (I know, I know — you were expecting it to be called the Protecting Infrastructure and Sewer Systems Act):
‘‘SEC. 4172. DEFINITIONS AND SPECIAL RULE.
‘(b) WATER DISPOSAL PRODUCT. — For purposes of this subchapter —
(4) TOILET TISSUE. — The term ‘toilet tissue’ means toilet tissue, as determined under regulations prescribed by the Secretary.”
No, it’s not as silly as it sounds. It’s sillier.
The rulemaking to define what rises to the level of a bottom-wipe is in the name of a good cause: to tax the stuff. The current band of feds don’t think you’ve paid enough tax — this has been established ad nauseum — and now want a dedicated revenue, er, stream, to pay to replace corroded pipes and overburdened sewer sytems nationwide.
We know what else is involved in the confines of the rest room so, naturally, there’s a “climate change mitigation” section as well though, upon initial scrutiny, it isn’t as invasive as the context indicates should be the case.
It actually gets even more inane: in addition to adding a “3% excise tax on items disposed of in wastewater, such as toothpaste, cosmetics, toilet paper and cooking oil [because these] products wind up in the water stream and require clean up by sewage treatment plants,” according to Blumenauer’s Fact Sheet, water-based beverages, which actually hit the infrastructure both coming and, ah, going (as anyone who’s ever stood in line at a sporting event knows). So, those are hit with a four-cent per-container excise tax. Feeling flush yet?
This is a nice addendum to the dossier that, I believe, we will look back on as having been rolled up by a congressional majority (and indeed, entire political class) that soon found itself circling the drain.
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I think that it may be a small health problem if we stop wiping our bottoms
Well, They are going to have to get the trillion dollars somewhere… I know a guy that only uses one sheet per wipe. Never tried it myself.
Oh, if only your “circling the drain” comment would become reality.
My word, “The Bottom Inspectors” cartoon sketch from VIZ (A UK comic) realized.
Water $1.49. Beer $7. Soda $5. Poop de grace? Priceless.
He’s one of our filberts (Congress people) over in the left part of the state. Never trust anyone who wears a bowtie and he does. Probably been spending too much time with Cheryl Crowe who also claimed that lesser (TP that is) was better.
Got to go now and shout out my window, “I’m mad as hell and……”
1. many rural folks have septic systems: Do we get and exemption card?
2. cooking oil: 99% of ours is consumed or goes to a land fill – How do I prove this?
3. Does Blumenauer not know that we already pay taxes, some in different ways than others, but anyone suggesting a ‘stealth’ tax, as this would be, is apt to get a burning bag of ‘doo’ on his front step and repeated ringing of the doorbell in the middle of the night.
You see, we are infested with a class of idiots who think that if you use less toilet paper, you “save” trees. This same class of idiot believes that recycling paper somehow “saves” trees when in both cases the opposite is actually true.
Trees grown for paper are farmed like any other crop. Natural forest is not cut for paper production anymore. The largest planters of trees on the planet are the paper companies (followed by the lumber companies). These trees are designed to grow quickly and produce usable fiber for paper in well under a decade, some a short as 5 years after planting.
If the need for new pulp is reduced, paper companies will not need to plant these trees nor hold those land holdings on which those trees grow. The result is that once the last cutting is made, they sell off the land to such people as developers.
Recycling paper results in fewer trees being planted and less CO2 being removed from the atmosphere.
Additionally, this class of idiot believes that “old growth forest” is some kind of an oxygen producer and removes CO2 from the atmosphere. The truth is that a fully mature forest is carbon neutral, it neither removes nor adds CO2 to the atmosphere. When a forest is young such as after a fire or clear cut, it is building biomass and is a net carbon sink. As it matures, the net biomass added reduces as leaves, twigs, branches break or die or otherwise fall off and begin to decay. As this decay progresses, it releases the CO2 back into the atmosphere that was taken out to produce that biomass. When a forest reaches full maturity, it is no longer adding net biomass. It reaches stability. As much biomass is dying and decaying as is being added through growth. If a fire comes along, most of that biomass will be converted to CO2 (save what is converted to more stable charcoal). If a clear cut is made, that carbon is sequestered though use in building materials where it might be prevented from decaying for decades or possibly turned into something that gets thrown into a landfill and kept out of the atmosphere for centuries.
Reducing the use of toilet paper and recycling paper serve to reduce the number of trees planted, increase the amount of land available to developers, and reduce the amount of CO2 removed from the atmosphere. If you are really ardent about recycling and enough others follow your example, you might “save” enough trees to build a Wal-Mart on what used to be a plot growing trees to grow paper.
Roger that Carl Yee. He’s one of the Blue Islanders that control the Red Sea of Oreogn…
Blumenauer is a bloomin’ idjit…
” kyled (21:14:33) :
“I think that it may be a smell health problem if we stop wiping our bottoms”
Agreed. You’ve obviously got a nose for this work.
We’ll show those DC idiots… start installing and using bidets.
Oh, and in a budget compromise reached this evening in the California Legislature, offshore drilling will be allowed off the coast of Vandenberg AFB. I believe I can hear the sound of heads exploding in San Francisco.
Thank goodness I’m in another land. This kind of legislation should give all you yanks that “ring of confidence” in your administrators.
I suppose they always say **it rises to the top!
Reply: You’re not immune to this kind of thing over there either. ~ ctm
What did the Native Americans use? Well, there is this huge creekside plant we call “Elephant Ears”. Going green, Earl?
Let’s all give a shout out to Rep. Earl Blumenauer by sending him a box of the green alternative. Who know, it might sit well with him.
Come on, guys, let’s not get pissy.
Umm…don’t you already pay for sewer treatment…you know when you pay your sewer bill to the sewer utility…
“joshua corning (22:39:58) :
Umm…don’t you already pay for sewer treatment…you know when you pay your sewer bill to the sewer utility…”
I many countries you pay for water and water waste too, and usually some form of GST or VAT (Tax) on top of the “services” you’ve paid for.
An Orwellian phrase springs to mind, “Double plus ungood!”. Politicians double and tripple dipping in our pockets.
At least these are consumption taxes, not income taxes, and furthermore they are on some level endeavoring to incorporate the full cost of things into the price.
This should, of course, be accompanied by a corresponding drop in income tax.
Likely?
No.
In the third world, weher no one knows what TP is, they use their left hand for wiping, and their right hand for eating. That’s why being caught as a thief they cut off your right hand, leaving you, umm, in a predicament.
I sure hope you never shake his hand, or eat anything prepared by him… he SAYS he uses one sheet, but do you know for sure? I don’t think it’s possible.
Earl, Earl, Earl. I’ve got a much better idea, tax the source of all our bowel movements, food! Yes food is the culprit. Here are a few ideas, feel free to use them as your see fit.
1. Tax the producers of food. (farmers are evil)
2. Tax the sellers of food. ( they are no better then drug dealers)
3. Tax the buyers of food. ( bastards)
4. Tax anybody who casts a vote. (cause don’t you know your days are numbered)
[snip – sorry just too off color]
Time for ye olde Boston TP Party???
Crap and Tirade?
It’s like the conundrum in the original Star Trek series – you have all these Klingons circling Uranus – what do you do?