— Legal Settlements to Fund New Activist Flotilla
In a surprise press conference streamed live from her carbon-neutral sailboat, climate activist Greta Thunberg declared that she is filing to copyright her now-famous UN outburst, “How DARE you!”, citing “unethical overuse” by journalists, comedians, and skeptical bloggers.
“Every time someone says it ironically, that’s unpaid emotional labor,” Greta reportedly told the gathered press corps. “Intellectual property should include moral outrage. If Taylor Swift can trademark ‘This sick beat,’ then I can copyright ‘How DARE you!’”
Thunberg announced that all proceeds from future lawsuits and licensing agreements would go toward funding a “People’s Flotilla for Planetary Justice”, an initiative she says will “sail in solidarity with all oppressed peoples and endangered plankton.”
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” she added, “especially now that we’re combining climate justice with geopolitical justice, maritime justice, and maybe a little dietary justice if the catering goes vegan.”
According to leaked documents from the newly formed HowDareYou Foundation, media outlets found using the phrase without permission will be required to pay cash or carbon offsets in the form of “emotional restitution.”
Meanwhile, Hollywood insiders report that Netflix is already in talks for an eight-part docuseries tentatively titled ‘Greta: The Wrath of DARE.’
Environmental economists have expressed confusion. “I’m not sure outrage is a renewable resource,” said one skeptical analyst. “At this rate, the global supply may be depleted by 2030.”
When asked whether her flotilla would rely on fossil-free sails or battery-powered oars, Thunberg responded:
“The point isn’t how we get there. The point is to look righteous while we do.”
As of press time, several activists were reportedly crafting papier-mâché replicas of the Titanic “as a metaphor for capitalism,” while Greta was seen sketching designs for her new flagship vessel, The HMS Hypocrisy Awareness.
(Parody – for entertainment purposes only)
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Ha ! How Dare YOU !
😉
How Dare HER!! 😎
How Dareth Thee!! Let’s see the barristers twist into a pretzel trying to fit that phrase into a lawsuit…
Parody, but just barely.
At time of writing, she’s 22 years of age…but, of course, she has “problems”…
I wish she’d have kept her “problems” to herself!
She was and still is a “tool”.
Aristocrats with obvious brain dysfunctions are not insane, they are eccentric.
November Fools!
Clearly the medication is not working.
Greta who?
Yeah. Let her go.
That won’t make her go away. If she can see CO2 in the atmosphere, she knows what you’re thinking. Delusion is her superpower.
She already seems to have moved on to support for terrorists. Maybe the climate thing started to get boring.
Not just terrorists. AntiSemitic terrorists not really any different from National Socialism.
But I agree with you. It’s obvious that she or her handlers moved way, way beyond global warming.
The climate thing is just one different form of terrorism.
The change is not that extreme.
ReGreta?
If her parents weren’t Antifa members, I’m sure they wouldn’t want another one.
Thumbum.
Trick, or Treat?
““We’re gonna need a bigger boat,”
She better pay Paramount for using that copyrighted phrase. Was a twit she be.
Dang, should have read the comments before saying the same thing.
I actually got that far before it dawned on me that this was in fact a parody.
“CO2 is PLANT FOOD!©”
There. Sue me. 🙂
And it’s vegan as well!
I think Greta has moved on to supporting Hamas terrorists.
The Climate Change Scam is running out of gas, so she needs a new fixation.
She is a puppet of her activist parents. Both failed wannabes……
Submarine. Torpedoes. Just saying. 😁
I agree with you. However, the French tried that approach with the Rainbow Warrior in 1985. It backfired somewhat and merely created a martyr for the Green Blob.
“Intellectual property should include moral outrage.”
Just so long as she and her ilk are the outraged ones, of course. The phrase “how dare you” traces its roots back to Middle English, around the 14th century. It isn’t even close to Swedish.
Back in those days people did not say this sick beat or anything like it.
Greta should have concentrated on school when she could have. She might have learned a few things. Such as…
“…some sayings may be trademarked. This is especially true for phrases used in marketing or branding. For example, “Just Do It” by Nike is protected as a trademark, not as a copyright. – Favourite Books
For anyone who misses the ‘Humor’ and ‘Parody’ boxes and doesn’t read to the end, everything in it sounds plausible.
Last time I checked, you can’t copyright common words or phrases.
You can “Trademark” them.
A trademark is used to identify goods or services. It’s hard for me to see Greta as either.
That’s the only shot she’s got. Like I said above: Greta should have concentrated on school when she could have. She might have learned a few things.
Now she’s in the university of life.
It’s a parody article, so…
I think there are significant limitations on that , too .
. . . in which case, that rules out copyrighting “Greta Thunberg”. 😉
Don’t Be An Idiot ™
Greta’s boat likely has a fiberglass hull built with resins, sails, halyards and other operating lines, interior fabrics and radio communications devices wholly or partly made from oil or gas derived plastics and fabrics. And there is her clothing.
And most of those materials were transported by fossil fueled trucks.
Before I spotted the parody declaration, I was convinced it was legitimate as in something St. Greta would do.
Who would you rather have lunch with: Greta or Taylor?
Lunch?
Greta! I would enjoy asking her dozens of pointed questions. Counting the number of times I could get her to say, “How Dare You! ” would be enjoyable.
I wouldn’t recognize Swift if met her on the street and I can’t tell you the titles of any of her songs, except that now I know “Sick Beat” is something she’s known for.
Is that even a question?
Taylor is so much easier on the eyes. Lunch could be fun, as long as she’s buying and not talking.
There is the Babylon Bee problem of telling parody from reality.
Me me me me meee! A ridiculous low intellect woman wanting attention.
Dumb as a rock and that is insulting the rock!!
From Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray (1848)
It looks like Thackeray beat her to it….
She could ask AI to build a case to sue him for “mis-appropriation”?
We need more cake justice. It isn’t fair that only peasants get to eat cake.
You actually had me going, right up until “endangered plankton”…but even then I did still have to think about it…
That’s exactly where my brain said: “Now wait a sec…..”
🤣
Yup.
Just checked the calendar again, and no still not April 1st.
how dare they threaten to copyright a standard British phrase of incredulity.
What’s coming next? Maybe King Charles copyrighting “God save the King” so he can add the collected fees from every social dinner and every national anthem singer. Maybe use the money to fund a school for illiberal trees so he can have better conversations with them….
That’s funny because I’ve been using Greta Inc. in a lot of my comments here and elsewhere in recent weeks.