Climate Change Alarmist Mad Lib Template
Opening Paragraph:
In a recent report by [Organization Name], scientists have sounded the alarm about the [Adjective] effects of climate change. According to [Authority Figure’s Name/Title], if global temperatures rise by just [Small Number] degrees Celsius, we could see catastrophic impacts, including [Noun/Outcome], [Another Noun/Outcome], and even [Absurd Noun/Outcome].
Body Paragraph 1:
The report emphasizes that [Adjective] [Natural Phenomenon] are becoming more frequent and severe due to human activities, particularly the burning of [Fossil Fuel Name]. “[Adjective] weather events like [Specific Natural Disaster] are clear evidence that [Noun] is spiraling out of control,” said [Authority Figure’s Name], a [Prestigious Title/Profession] at [Institution Name].
Body Paragraph 2:
The consequences will be [Adjective] for vulnerable populations, particularly in [Developing Region/Geographic Area]. “[Vague Percentage]% of [Group of People] could face [Problem], while [Another Percentage]% will be affected by [Different Problem],” warns the report.
Proposed Solution Paragraph:
To prevent this [Adjective] future, [Organization Name] calls for immediate action, including [Vague Policy Recommendation], [Another Vague Recommendation], and [Virtue-Signaling Action]. “[Catchphrase or Buzzword] is no longer an option—it’s a necessity,” urged [Authority Figure’s Name].
Closing Paragraph:
If [Action] isn’t taken within the next [Short Time Frame], experts predict we will face [Adjective] consequences by [Year]. “The science is clear,” says [Authority Figure’s Name]. “We must act now to save [Abstract Concept] and ensure a [Virtue-Signaling Adjective] future for all.”
Optional Sidebar:
“10 [Adjective] Ways You Can Save the Planet:
- Stop using [Common Everyday Item].
- Cut your [Everyday Activity].
- [Virtue-Signaling Action].
- [Absurd Suggestion].
(Repeat as necessary.)
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Recognizing ‘boiler plate press‘ when one sees it …
I’d never “Meta Article” that was worth more Chuckles
It’s Charles.
How about Chortles and Guffaws?
Chortles Rotter sounds like an English pseudonym. It’s what you tell the birds at the knocking shop what your name is.
The serious thing about this humorous template is that it is such a perfectly tuned satire of the ridiculous messaging out there!
I went on X and asked Grok AI to “Please compose a generic template of a news story about “climate change” impact on the weather, emphasizing how the reader can take action to stop the warming trend.”
Here is the response:
*******************
### **Climate Change Intensifies Weather Extremes: How You Can Make a Difference**
**[City Name],[Date] -** As the drumbeat of climate change grows louder,[City/Region] is witnessing unprecedented weather patterns that underscore the urgency of global warming. Recent analyses show a marked increase in both the frequency and severity of weather events, from scorching heatwaves to devastating floods, directly linked to the rising temperatures of our planet.
#### **The Local Impact:**
– **Heatwaves:** This summer,[City/Region] experienced temperatures that broke historical records, leading to health alerts, increased energy consumption, and tragic losses in local biodiversity.
– **Extreme Precipitation:** Unusual weather patterns have brought torrential rains, causing flash floods that have damaged infrastructure and displaced residents.
– **Droughts and Fires:** Areas once lush are now facing prolonged dry spells, escalating the risk of wildfires, which have already consumed thousands of acres.
**Expert Insights:**
Meteorologist[Expert Name] from[Local University/Institute] commented, “What we are seeing in[City/Region] is a microcosm of global trends. The science is clear; human-induced climate change is not just a future threat but a present reality.”
#### **Why It Matters:**
The consequences of these weather anomalies extend beyond immediate disruption:
– **Economic Costs:** The financial toll from weather-related damages is soaring, with insurance claims reaching new peaks.
– **Health Implications:** More extreme weather leads to a rise in heat-related illnesses, respiratory issues due to poor air quality, and mental health challenges from climate anxiety.
– **Food Security:** Agricultural yields are fluctuating, threatening local food supplies and prices.
#### **What Can You Do?**
– **Reduce Carbon Footprint:**
– **Switch to Renewable Energy:** Opt for green energy providers or consider installing solar panels.
– **Eco-friendly Transport:** Walk, cycle, or use public transport; if driving, choose electric or hybrid vehicles.
– **Sustainable Living:**
– **Conserve Water:** Implement water-saving techniques in your home and garden.
– **Reduce, Reuse, Recycle:** Minimize waste by recycling, composting, and choosing products with minimal packaging.
– **Advocacy and Education:**
– **Stay Informed:** Educate yourself and others about climate change.
– **Support Legislation:** Vote for policies and politicians that prioritize environmental sustainability.
– **Community Action:** Join or initiate local groups focused on environmental conservation.
– **Nature-Based Solutions:**
– **Plant Trees:** Participate in or fund reforestation projects.
– **Support Biodiversity:** Create habitats for local wildlife or support conservation efforts.
#### **Conclusion:**
The narrative of climate change is not one of despair but of action. Every small step taken by individuals in[City/Region] contributes to a larger movement towards sustainability. Together, these efforts can mitigate the adverse effects of climate change, ensuring a healthier planet for future generations.
For more information on how to get involved or to understand the latest in climate action, visit[Relevant Local or National Website].
—
This template can be adapted for different regions by incorporating local data, expert quotes, and community-specific actions.
*************
Weird instinct has me itching to respond to the nothing. I should replace myself with snarky AI.
Jim above mentioned boilerplate which is evident in a lot of ‘scientific’ papers, especially in introductions, but elsewhere. We all do some degree of ‘cut and paste.’ I was just talking to someone about plagiarism and subcategories where it is difficult not to repeat important items better said often many times earlier. “History doesn’t repeat itself but it rhymes” sort of thing or others lesser traceable. In some taxonomic fields, at least, there is a new fad, probably often at least hubris or even bigotry, to give credit to those claimed they thought denied it. Others later may correct the ‘corrections.’ While there is no doubt that discrimination has taken place especially against certain groups, we seem to have not only the ‘woke’ creeping into science but also science into political sociology where value judgements are more proper. One might suspect just pandering to extremes but still not proper for historically real scientific journals. It is also the slurring of management into science and worse for science necessarily requiring merit, an example may be ecosystem based science/management.
Plagiarism may be hard to define but obvious regardless of its degree of robotic influence. Copycats!
Yeah, that’s about it. Here’s a Google News Search on “The Climate Crisis” and “Climate Change“
DeJa’Vu over again, and again, and again.
Nicely done.
Amen. Do Mad Libs even exist anymore?
I seen them now and then at Cracker Barrel
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=mad+libs&crid=3MPIESEYQS8HT&sprefix=mad+libs%2Caps%2C145&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Thanks, Charles!
That is how it goes on PBS, NBC, CBS, NPR, ABC, etc. where any mention of weather must include the mention and attribution of CC and at this point it has become so meaningless that no one believes it anymore and besides everyone knows that all the talking head news reporters are doing well $$$ and using FF every day anyway so stop trying to make the public feel guilty already, we are not buying it.
My heads in this game! I started filling the blanks in, but soon realized this was out of line for posting on WATTS, so I snipped myself. It was fun while it lasted, though.
I expected users to post their completed versions in the comments.
Sort of like the word games ten year old girls play that produce silly and often funny results.
In a recent report by [the Chinese Communist Party], scientists have sounded the alarm about the [dangerous] effects of climate change. According to [Professor Plum of the Global Climate Hysteria Institute], if global temperatures rise by just [0.0001] degrees Celsius, we could see catastrophic impacts, including [boiling seas], [the end of life on earth], and even [Mad Ed Milliband being proven right].
Charles, I think you may have inadvertently made “Covering Climate Now” obsolete. Their stable of activist fiction writers and propagandists should now be free to move on and try to find something useful to do.
Do it as mad-libs
– oh, missed that in the subtitle 🙂
I will!
Experts Warn: [Existentially stupid solutions to the supposed] Climate Crisis Could Lead to [Trump and the Republicans winning The White House, The Senate and The House of Representatives] by [2025!]
New Study: Sources Warn Template Missing The New Study Option.
OMG coffee volcano
Enthusiastic comment about author and content of article.
Anecdote regarding (insert weather event) that happened long ago.
[Link] to article regarding government control over the masses.
[Insert hyperlink] to second supporting article.
[Insert Image] of Meme belittling authority figure.
Rude comment about prior poster in thread.
😉 👍
As I read the post and the comments, I began to imagine a recent candidate for POTUS reading it on a teleprompter exactly as written by Charles.
Indeed, chuckles. 😇
Current prompt for term paper on any college campus.
Oh my [Deity]! It’s [worse|sooner|more expensive|funnier] than I thought.
Experts Warn: Unconscionable Climate Crisis Could Lead to No Pants! by 2124!!
I can live with that as long as shirts, too, are banned.
All in the name of stopping oil, of course.
Experts Warn: Irreversible Climate Change Could Reverse the Arrow of Time before 2023.
“Using energy-intensive AI to write climate alarmist articles is bad for the environment.
Instead, just use our handy Mad Libs fill-in-the-blanks template to save the planet!”
Well done 🙂
***Breaking News****
Trump Transition Team names Charles Rotter to be the new head of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. [Insert photo]
***Breaking News****
If they only knew.
I turned my thermostat down and started driving 55 when Jimmy Carter said it would reduce oil imports from middle eastern countries.
That was 45 years ago in 1979. I sent Jimmy a letter asking if it worked, but he did not reply.
I remember that, it saved lives although not the purpose. Texas Department of Transportation is all bent out of shape about fatalities with dumb two lane roads posted 75 day or night. Back before then it was 60 day, 55 at night and tailgating discriminated against. Some might argue that we need to be saved from those who want to save us, like with vehicles requiring the equivalent of a ‘flight engineer,’ human or robot.
Sad but so true. Thanks Charles for injecting some humour into this depressingly moronic debate. I’m stealing this for my Facebook page!
Nice, Charles.
After I stopped laughing, it set me thinking about what other topics could use a template to save effort by Covering Climate Now.
Could we have “Covering Inflation Now” and “Covering Borders Now” and “Covering Fentanyl Now”?
As skills develop, we could get more technical, with “Covering Vaccines Now” and “Covering Chaos Now” and “Covering Fermat’s Last Theorem Now”.
This template technique has tremendous potential for society by saving paper and ink and electricity for internet activity through incredible reduction of debate and the thought behind it. To round it off, can we have a template for elimination of trendy superlatives such as “tremendous” and “incredible” and “I love you”. Geoff S
Yes, just choose the number of your template from a web-server and supply your list of fill-in words (meta-data). Great time-saving idea for media.
Ok Charles, here you go. (Some were difficult so they’re not exactly what was asked for…)
Experts Warn: Boistrous Climate Crisis Could Lead to Fatality by 3 BC
In a recent report by the Church of Scientology, scientists have sounded the alarm about the dead effects of climate change. According to the Border Czar, if global temperatures rise by just .0001 degrees Celsius, we could see catastrophic impacts, including llamas, alpacas, and even fireplaces.
The report emphasizes that unkempt eddys are becoming more frequent and severe due to human activities, particularly the burning of natural gas. “Villanous weather events like the eruption of Mount Vesuvius are clear evidence that Battlebots is spiraling out of control,” said Queen Elizabeth II, a Michelin Star Chef at Harvard Law School.
The consequences will be kind for vulnerable populations, particularly in America. “73.2% of the KKK could face escaped monkeys, while 17,396.42% will be affected by ISIS,” warns the report.
To prevent this eastern future, the Illuminati calls for immediate action, including Ending the Fed, Abolishing the IRS, and shaving your heads. “Bazinga is no longer an option—it’s a necessity,” urged Alexander the Great.
If the conquest of all Europe isn’t taken within the next millisecond, experts predict we will face crispy consequences by 1726. “The science is clear,” says Vladimir Putin. “We must act now to save quantum entanglement and ensure an impending future for all.”
Sidebar:
“10 Vaudevillian Ways You Can Save the Planet:
Stop using remote controls.
Cut your vacuuming.
Block traffic.
Violate the Geneva Convention.
(Repeat as necessary.)
(Repeat as Necessary)
(Repeat as often as possible until the next report)
— fixed it.
I might just copy and paste into my next complaint to the BBC about their next “we’re all doomed” article – if that’s OK with you.
Of course
This is all they have, I am surprised they have gotten as far as they have with so little.
Absolutely. Now turn it around and use this against them. It doesn’t require lying, just relating the truth about climate in terms that scare the folks about netzero and all that crap