Monday Mirthiness: A Reversed Ode to the St. Greta Believers

Never mind the varying tilt of the earth’s axis

Nor its changing elliptical orbit around the sun

Never mind the mighty fireball’s great flares and fluctuating cosmic rays

That shape the planet earth’s clouds

Nor the cycles — stretching for years, decades, centuries — of circulations in the seas and the atmosphere above

Never mind the earthquakes, the volcanoes

The vast spewing of ash and water vapor (eldest brother of the greenhouse gases)

No, allow no such sundries to color your straight-as-arrow view of climate

For it is that molecule CO2 that needs to be set in the sniper’s scope

Blast it, eliminate it

For it contaminates mother earth’s blessed pristine virginity

CO2, begone, foul fiend!

Temperature, that is all you shall eye

For that is what your mortal coil demands

Heat, your enemy, needs killing lest it kill you

And cold, your friend, don’t let disbelievers convince you otherwise

(Though it may well be that the cold kills far more than heat

By ten times, even)

Woe unto you if you stray from the path

Destined for you, in the mainstream media

For the crime of skeptical reasoning or the reading of skeptical writing

Will prove your downfall

Be good, do good, virtuous folk

For the Valhalla of clean living and a pristine, virginal earth awaits you

Just complete the journey, exit that foul emanation

CO2, begone, foul fiend

Hail to St. Greta, hail to Gore

Hail to Mann, his haloed hockey stick

And say nay to Happer, Clauser and Lindzen

For they bring the shadow of death

Minions of that poisonous gas

Foul fiend CO2

Tilak K. Doshi

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April 22, 2024 6:46 pm

A poem with truisms and the fallacies of the woke.

It is where we are at, that’s no joke.

Excellent Work, Tilak.

Sam Capricci
April 22, 2024 6:59 pm

My owed to Greta (yeah, not ode).

Oh Greta, I so want to believe
Your smirk makes it impossible to conceive
That what you spew should not be questioned
But above all else CO2 cannot be sequestered.

There once was a girl named Greta
She was so narcissistic she thought she knew better
An invisible gas
That does not last
But she knew if she stomped her feet she could make it betta. 

There were ecos so concerned
With their own voices that only they heard
Destroy the SUVs 
As fast as we please
To put all the people on foot or in EVs 

April 22, 2024 7:24 pm

So now the Wicked Witch of the West is a saint? Raspberries!

Scissor
Reply to  Jim Masterson
April 22, 2024 7:42 pm

Diverging theory, nasty weather, a volcano calls, I need a virgin.

Reply to  Scissor
April 22, 2024 8:37 pm

I personally don’t ascribe to throwing virgins into volcanoes. I remember a Playboy cartoon of an Aztec boy and girl walking out of a forest with the girl crying. The boy said, “At least you can’t be sacrificed now.”

Mr.
Reply to  Jim Masterson
April 22, 2024 8:42 pm

She could still identify as a virgin though.

Reply to  Mr.
April 22, 2024 9:01 pm

It’s not nice to fool the gods or Mother Nature,

Sparta Nova 4
Reply to  Mr.
April 23, 2024 9:31 am

She could also identify as a boy in today’s climate.

Reply to  Jim Masterson
April 22, 2024 8:21 pm

The flying house that landed on the Wicked Witch of the East was certainly caused by global warming (in 1900).

The first Wicked Witch of the West was killed with a mere bucket of water. Surely all of the catastrophic rain events due to global warming spell certain doom for the latter day witch.

Sparta Nova 4
Reply to  pillageidiot
April 23, 2024 9:32 am

Oh the symbolisms…

April 22, 2024 7:27 pm

Slightly OT.

But does anyone have a really good ANTI-Net Zero poster ?

John Hultquist
Reply to  bnice2000
April 22, 2024 8:19 pm

Use an image search “closed industrial factory”

Reply to  bnice2000
April 22, 2024 8:22 pm

Anthony Watts?

(Oh, not THAT kind of poster.)

Ed Zuiderwijk
Reply to  bnice2000
April 23, 2024 12:05 am

A Dodo.

alastairgray29yahoocom
Reply to  Ed Zuiderwijk
April 23, 2024 7:28 am

A dodo with the habits of an ostrich. The only thing you can say about it is that when it has its head in the sand it is so much easier to kick it up the ask me no questions

Reply to  bnice2000
April 23, 2024 4:02 am

should be doable with AI

Rich
Reply to  bnice2000
April 23, 2024 5:20 am

I have a great photo of life Net Zero, but can seem to upload/paste it.

alastairgray29yahoocom
Reply to  bnice2000
April 23, 2024 7:24 am

Yes I make dozens of them. If you go to my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ReformUKEsherandWalton
you can find a few. If anyone wants a bespoke one give me the details and I draw something. You can send me a message on my Facebook page which you can share as widely as you like

Sparta Nova 4
Reply to  bnice2000
April 23, 2024 9:35 am

No, but I came up with a concept.

Family, sitting in the dark. Each is huddled in a blanket
At the far wall is a desk with a computer (off). On the wall is a TV (off).
All the lights are off. Just a single candle burns giving a little illumination to the scene.

Wife says, “Well, we achieved Net Zero.”
Husband says, “I hope the Carbon Police don’t catch us.”

Rich
Reply to  Sparta Nova 4
April 24, 2024 5:37 am

Net Zero with a candle? Nope….

David Goeden
April 22, 2024 8:10 pm

And so the legend of Saint Greta , who neutered the evil molecule is passed from generation to generation in hushed refrains.

April 22, 2024 8:18 pm

Story tip.

Oh dearie me… There will be a few AGW-lukewarmers who don’t like this 😉

3 Physicists Use Experimental Evidence To Show CO2’s Capacity To Absorb Radiation Has Saturated (notrickszone.com)

Note.. experimental evidence… actual science.

Rod Evans
Reply to  bnice2000
April 22, 2024 11:58 pm

Hah, experimental evidence you say, the Climate Alarmists and the lukewarm fence sitters have their computer models to rely on, that always overrides mere science. When the models don’t return a favourable result that is not a problem either, because they have the tried and tested amend the past temperatures (downward) via ‘adjustments’.
The believers have their faith, oh and endless state grants to apply for to keep them on track. 🙂

Reply to  bnice2000
April 23, 2024 2:27 am

Another
Story Tip

Iodine oxoacids enhance nucleation of sulfuric acid particles in the atmosphere
Editor’s summaryHow are new particles formed in the air above the oceans, where ammonia, an important species in the process, is not very abundant? He et al. report that iodine oxoacids, which are plentiful in marine environments, can substantially increase the rate of new particle formation in the low-ammonia conditions commonly found in pristine marine and polar regions. This effect could be particularly important in low-level marine stratocumulus clouds, which reflect a large fraction of incident solar radiation back into space and have an important influence on global radiation balance and climate. —H. Jesse Smith

Found here

BenVincent
April 22, 2024 9:03 pm

Made me think of Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Where fools worship foolish things.

Alexy Scherbakoff
April 23, 2024 1:33 am

For some reason, a large number of people believe in the sanctity of children. The younger the child , the better. If it’s a female child it’s even better.
The Catholic church and even the Orthodox believe in the situation in Fatima. They even made saints of the scrotes.
As a person lacking in the believing gene, I am amazed people believe in a lot of shit. 

Trying to Play Nice
Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
April 23, 2024 4:26 am

And she’s on the spectrum. You can’t make fun of her. If only she was a transgender with purple hair.

alastairgray29yahoocom
Reply to  Trying to Play Nice
April 23, 2024 7:36 am

Usually being on the spectrum you are better equipped to see through bullshit so that is no excuse for Greta. But I think young Ms Thunberg is playing a clever game and doubtless expects a reward from the UN Marxist Omnistate when her ghastly totalitarian regime comes to power. You will see the Pigtails of Power in their awesome vengeful glory

CampsieFellow
Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
April 23, 2024 5:54 am

The dictionary defines a scrote as a worthless person. I wonder on what basis you have reached the conclusion that these people were worthless?
You have an interesting choice of language. So something you do not believe must be “a lot of shit”. There are many things that other people believe that I do not believe but I prefer not to use disgusting language about those beliefs.

Alexy Scherbakoff
Reply to  CampsieFellow
April 23, 2024 3:54 pm

I stand corrected. Should have been lying scrotes.

Coeur de Lion
April 23, 2024 2:50 am

I got shouted at for calling her a ‘doom pixie’ in an article for our professional quarterly. Not sorry

Reply to  Coeur de Lion
April 23, 2024 3:45 am

Doom pixie is perfect

GretasBrain
alastairgray29yahoocom
Reply to  Coeur de Lion
April 23, 2024 12:38 pm

Shame on you de-pixilating the little people. Gare de Lyon, and pardon my french Campsie . Surely the Scottish MacStasi, who have the second sight, will be onto you because you are not allowed to misgender, ruffle, or otherwise trifle with touchy feelings of big Jessies, wee Fairies or ither protected categories like pixies , although apparently women are fair game, that is if ye can define a wumman, which apparently is beyond the wits of many. PS, is Campsie Fellow coded slang for a Glasgow suburban minority group or a geographical pun. Either way mis-dis- respecting they eejits on the other side should be done without descending to the scatological

April 23, 2024 3:59 am

Right, we must DECARBONIZE everything to save the planet! The new Satan be gone!

CampsieFellow
April 23, 2024 5:47 am

The Vatican will not declare someone to be a saint until after they are dead. How come some people can grant sainthood to someone who is still very much alive?

Someone
Reply to  CampsieFellow
April 23, 2024 8:01 am

CAGW is new religion that can make up its own rules.

Sparta Nova 4
Reply to  CampsieFellow
April 23, 2024 9:38 am

When they die, they decompose emitting methane and CO2. Funny that.

cuddywhiffer
April 23, 2024 7:37 am

Nothing kills a dumb idea, or exposes an individual, better than ridicule. I always loved this one from the National Post, Canada (I think):

“Here come de heap big warmy.
Bigtime warmy warmy.
Is big big hot.
Plenty big warm burny hot.
Hot! Hot hot!
But now not hot.
Not hot now.
De hot come go, come go.
Now Is Coldy Coldy.
Is ice.
Hot den cold.
Frreeeezy ice til hot again.
Den de rain.
It faaaalllll.
Make pasty.”

Reply to  cuddywhiffer
April 23, 2024 9:51 am

An oldie.

     Gunga Din says:
May 9, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Stopping by Yamal one Snowy Evening

What tree this is, I think I know.
It grew in Yamal some time ago.
Yamal 06 I’m placing here
In hopes a hockey stick will grow.

But McIntyre did think it queer
No tree, the stick did disappear!
Desparate measures I did take
To make that stick reappear.

There were some corings from a lake.
And other data I could bake.
I’ll tweek my model more until
Another hockey stick I’ll make!

I changed a line into a hill!
I can’t say how I was thrilled!
Then Climategate. I’m feeling ill.
Then Climategate. I’m feeling ill.

tilak doshi
Reply to  cuddywhiffer
April 25, 2024 2:19 pm

The calypso style is super! Pity Bob Marley isn’t around to put this to good reggae beat.

Sparta Nova 4
April 23, 2024 9:30 am

About 17 stanzas were omitted, but otherwise excellent.

alastairgray29yahoocom
April 24, 2024 2:11 am

Tilak, Sparta ,Cuddywhiffer, Gunga
Your immortal words are magic and balm to my soul but you haven’t given us a tune or a musical genre to follow. I give you both and it worked for your words as well as mine Calypso style, tune of America from West Side Story
Please forgive my disrespect to your Alma Mater Dilak
Chorus

Mann Cooking de books in East Anglia
Cooking de books in East Anglia.
de mo’ he cooks
de hotter it looks
publish de books in East Anglia

Verse 1
Flying a Private jet to Davos
de elite of de planet goin to save us
dat man Kerry
he makin it merry
steak and caviar not mealworms, in Davos

tilak doshi
Reply to  alastairgray29yahoocom
April 25, 2024 2:18 pm

I must take a course in poetry!