People send me stuff. A friend of mine (an insider in the groundhog committee bunker) tells me that due to the pressure they are getting from PETA (for groundhog abuse) that they will soon announce that they are retiring ” Punxsutawney Phil”, the famous weather prognosticator, and replace him with globally respected child climate forecaster Greta Thunberg.
Apparently, the behind-the-scenes argument for this is that since all “weather is now climate” on a daily basis, they can safely switch from a rodent-based weather forecaster to a brat-based human climate forecaster.
While PETA has been calling for an “animatronic” groundhog robot to replace Phil, the groundhog committee felt that wouldn’t be believable, and since the same sort of people that believe in the reliability of rodent-based weather forecasting, would also likely believe Greta Thunberg’s climate prognostications, the committee decided she would be a better and more believable fit than a robot.
This makes as much sense to me as anything else I’ve heard about climate alarmism.
Star of the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray, had no comment when asked, but he’s already taken the unemployed Phil away on an alternate timeline loop:
Meanwhile, our resident cartoonist, Josh, has summed it all up very nicely:
Josh worked on a Sunday (Super Bowl Sunday and Groundhog Day no less) to get this done, so please buy him a pint here.
Big h/t to Mike Wolcott for starting the ball rolling.
Greta, in this tweet, admits that 2017, 2018 and 2019 were cooler than 2016, ie a THREE YEAR COOLING PHASE!
https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg/status/1214999075516559361?s=20
In the interest of non-divisiveness may I suggest a solution everyone can agree with: replace Phil with an animatronic Greta!
In addition, give the Gretabot some artificial intelligence and it’s win win win for all.
Careful, Greta’s been trademarked. 😉
If it means I only have to see Greta once a year and she doesn’t make any sounds, I’m okay with that!!
So long Phil.
Wait, did I get my calendar wrong? Did we swap Feb. 1st for April 1st?
i’m all for an “ animatronic” groundhog robot to predict the next oil change for animatronic robots
https://kleinefeldmausorgnz.wordpress.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=imgedit-preview&_ajax_nonce=e24ce89a80&postid=1444&rand=12946
So it is true. Animal abuse is worse than child abuse. Not like Phil has ever been abused.
The whole is very, very silly anyway. Retire the whole thing. Replace him with a big empty spot.
What’s wrong with a little harmless silliness? A little humor is good for the spirit. It’s not like they are going to tax us over the prediction.
Silly? Hey a captive groundhog lives a boring and uneventful life so deserves its 15 minutes of fame. Much more exciting to be a wild groundhog where it gets to experience various other forms of excitement such as playing with coyotes, dodging bullets, dodging cars, flooding, lots of promiscuous behavior, lack of food for months, etc.
Joe Bastardi says he saw a ground hog along side the road this weekend. It wasn’t moving and birds were pecking at it. Not much excitement there.
All things considered, I’d prefer the groundhog. Any groundhog is a better companion, more personable, and affectionate!
Using a robotic groundhog will be fine until the day comes when it is asked to make the prediction and replies:
“I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that”.
Is it possible that the Punxsutawney ‘insider’ in this case is just strictly making a joke?
If this is a serious proposal, they are surely committing a kind of destruction of the tradition they’ve operated on thus far? I mean, a silly tradition, granted, but still, take the ‘tradition’ out of ‘silly tradition’ and what’s left?
Note the article tags: humor, satire
…but it’s so close to reality it’s hard to tell the difference anymore!
Punxsutawney Phil needs to take a hockey stick and whack it upside a few heads.
If this happens, can we keep her in Phil’s cage? 😉
I was in for 20quid. Well done Josh.
A brat-based forecaster. Genius!
Will Aussis be holding up singed koalas to predict how long the fire season will last?
nah mate
cos the smokes too thick to see a shadow’-)
and Aussies know that every drought and or hot nth wind day is a fire risk anywhere from september to march usually.
you’d maybe be surprised how well a grassfire will burn in a dry autumn/winter as well. its why we DO do brnoffs on our farms then.usually just before rains forecast
Ozspeakup. Ta for the highly informed and superprompt response. This know-nothing Pomme used to live in the tinder rich state of California and has forgotten all he thought he knew about fires, except that animals were better at forecasting than my neighbours were. I also have flown over your Northern Territory at night and seen several linear fires stretching from horizon to horizon. An experience never forgotten.
Ozspeakup. Ta for the highly informed and superprompt response. This know-nothing Pomme used to live in the tinder rich state of California and has forgotten all he thought he knew about fires, except that animals were better at forecasting than my neighbours were. I also have flown over your Northern Territory at night and seen several linear fires stretching from horizon to horizon. An experience never forgotten.
Greta the Grinch stole my seasons — How dare she!
One rodent is as good as another.
Why not Michael Mann? He’s somewhat local.
Well Greta has been nominated for the Nobel Prize for 2020 and will probably win it, so she will be laughing all the way to the bank.
…one of the few children who will be wearing that idol around her neck like a millstone! (You all know Nobel was a notorious yellow journalist, right?)
https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TcwMrCsyDJg9BLOyS8uUcjMUygpSswrzkksyczPAwCcLQqi&q=lost+in+translation&oq=lost&aqs=chrome.
Spinnen am Morgen, Kummer und Sorgen.
Spinnen am Abend, erquickend und labend.
____________________________________
Nothing to do with Spiders, “Spinnen”.
– spinning the yarn from before morning light tells that family of weavers weave the yarn in piece-work, they’re on the brink to lose their existence basis.
while
– spinning in the evening shows that families work is done, they recreate with some nice game of Patience, waiting game.
Significant no-one mentions
https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-huawei&sxsrf=ACYBGNQA1cmrkWLmYpeekItSM9zxawS1Zg%3A1581763622859&ei=JsxHXqqCNLOZk74PnI-eoAQ&q=roadkill&oq=roadkill&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-serp.