Monday Mirthiness @ScottAdamsSays nails the universal boogeyman

Dilbert gets it.

I’ve always said that “climate change” has become the universal boogeyman, which you can blame anything on, much like in ancient history where bad weather was blamed on the displeasure of the Gods.

Scott, If you are reading this, I’ll be sending you a direct message to your Twitter account regarding something of common interest, I hope you will respond.

DILBERT © Scott Adams. Used By permission of ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION. All rights reserved.
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December 16, 2019 6:04 am

My morning coffee didn’t taste right. Global warming, obvs.

Hey, it works! 😉

Caligula Jones
Reply to  PaulH
December 16, 2019 6:42 am

You joke, but many years ago on UseNet (ask you grandparents…), some CAWG True Believer was trying to convince us that the bland taste of bananas was a direct cause of…CAWG.

I mean, he did have a point, bananas don’t seem to taste like they used to, but I’m aware of the difference between causation and coincidence. Oh, and 40 years of bad habits has probably affected my taste buds.

Not sure if “taste” is on the list here (a lot of “link rot” here, but the list is impressive):

George H Steele
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 7:35 am

About bananas. In the 1950s the Panama Disease wiped out the popular Gros Michel (“Big Mike”) variety and the Cavendish variety replaced it. The taste of bananas changed (and, yes, I remember it, as well as UseNet). Although some banana jelly beans still taste like Big Mike.

Henning Nielsen
Reply to  George H Steele
December 16, 2019 8:04 am

Re: About bananas. There are pictures of Greta Thunberg with bananas on the table in front of her. How dares she! Did the bananas swim to Sweden? I bet she has never even contemplated to “cliamte sin” of sending the fruit on dirty, climate-killing freighters for her to enjoy. But hey! Bananas are green, are they not? At least at an early stage.

Reply to  Henning Nielsen
December 17, 2019 12:28 pm

Hell would be a detailed photo shoot of Greta Thornburg doing things with bananas.

Reply to  George H Steele
December 16, 2019 9:39 am

George: And this was before climate change, the CAGW type!!!

Reply to  George H Steele
December 16, 2019 6:42 pm
Reply to  George H Steele
December 17, 2019 9:26 am

Found Big Mike growing at the Banana Museum and banana gardens on Martinique.

banana museum martinique

Rodney Everson
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 7:36 am

Regarding bananas, they don’t taste the way they used to taste, per an article in the WSJournal recently. Apparently the banana taste developed for candies was based on the taste of a banana that has since been wiped out by disease (or something) and today’s bananas have a different taste. But the companies making banana flavoring for candy still use the original formula, so banana-flavored candies taste like the old banana.

Anyway, you’re right. Bananas don’t taste like they used to taste.

Reply to  Rodney Everson
December 16, 2019 8:45 am

In earlier times, fruits in general and bananas here in special has been sold when they were ripe (matured). The taste of ripe bananas is much better as what we get today.

On the outer Barcoo
Reply to  Krishna Gans
December 16, 2019 9:58 am

Working on the Tabar Islands (PNG) in 2006-2008, I had the good fortune to eat many varieties of bananas. The tastes were head and shoulders above the store-bought varieties in developed countries.

Reply to  Krishna Gans
December 16, 2019 12:13 pm

I used to work at a small ripening facility where the stems were hung in controlled conditions to ripen. Each morning the selected stems would have the bunches cut from them and the bananas graded and crated for delivery.
All the bananas that I see in stores today would be the lowest grade.

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 9:29 am

What is CAWG? Dyslexia?

Caligula Jones
Reply to  Jeff Alberts
December 16, 2019 9:37 am

I.e., known as “not finished morning coffee yet” Syndrome.

Yes, should be CAGW…

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 2:07 pm


Mickey Reno
Reply to  Jeff Alberts
December 16, 2019 3:18 pm

That’s the way Yoda spells it.

John Tillman
Reply to  Jeff Alberts
December 17, 2019 6:09 am

Catastrophic Anthropogenic Wild Guessing. The Bowlerized version of CAWAG.

Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 9:30 am

Bananas these days don’t have that tangy Dieldrin flavor that we kids grew up with either.

And I used to love the smell of Dieldrin in the morning. Smelled like . . . bananas 😨

Carbon Bigfoot
Reply to  Mr.
December 16, 2019 2:21 pm

Split a banana down the middle, lay in a banana boat add three scoops of ice cream, 1 vanilla, 1 strawberry, 1 chocolate, sprinkle liberally wit crushed walnuts, add strawberries, blueberries and cover with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Oh add a cherry on top.
For the uninformed a banana split–I defy you to taste the difference.

Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 9:49 am

No, no, no – bananas taste differently now, at least in the EU, because of the Banana Regulation.

My wife and I were visiting her parents in Englandt when the EU Banana Regulation was announced. The mirth in the press, and especially at the grocers, was marvelous. One newspaper story reported that the journalist had tracked down the bureaucrat in Brussels who had put it together, and asked why there had to be a banana regulation. He stated “we are bureaucrats, it is what we do”. (I’m sure that the story was merely satire, and that the journalist hadn’t found the particular bureaucrat in charge of that folly.)

Another journalist took a more reasoned approach, and assumed that it was a plot by some member country to corner the banana trade. Turns out, the regulation prohibited even bananas grown within the EU.

The silly thing is, that regulation had nothing to do with safety, health or hygiene.

After last week’s election, there is hope that the UK will soon be free of tthose bureaucrats.

Reply to  Rettired_Engineer_Jim
December 16, 2019 10:29 am

I’ll never forget teh regulations for cucumber in the EU:

Cucumbers must all be straight: 30 years ago, the Commission of the European Communities adopted Regulation (EEC) No 1677/88, better known as the Cucumber Bending Regulation. … Extra grade cucumbers had to be “well formed and practically straight”.

source “Idiocracy” 😀

Patrick MJD
Reply to  Rettired_Engineer_Jim
December 16, 2019 5:35 pm

Belgium, the country in the EU with the largest lit road network. Chocolates, tarts and chips with mayo are great too!

Reply to  Rettired_Engineer_Jim
December 17, 2019 3:22 am

I regret to say that a member of my family (by marriage) was one of the senior bureaucrats responsible for the “bananas” decision … we had the discussion about it, we don’t talk very often these days.

Patrick MJD
Reply to  DrDweeb
December 17, 2019 4:36 pm

Takes a brave person to admit something like that in public.

sky king
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 1:44 pm

Isoamyl acetate – pour some on your bananas. See the difference.

Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 8:26 pm

” but many years ago on UseNet (ask you grandparents…)” – LOL. Do you remember alt.jokes.tasteless? I think all the people who used to post there went to it’s the same type of “banter”.

Caligula Jones
Reply to  TRM
December 17, 2019 6:09 am

Yes, UseNet was a sewer sometimes…basically a Wild West with little to no adult supervision.

With all the “cancel culture” crap these days, its funny that outside of what was called “rogue cancelling” which only a handful of nerds were capable of, nobody could ban anything.

Incidentally UseNet was where I “met” one William Connolly, who informed me that as an “expert”, the Medieval Warming Period was local (Europe), short and statistically insignificant…

Reply to  PaulH
December 16, 2019 9:07 am

A quick duckduckgo search says you aren’t alone:

I’m thinking however those search results are merely artifacts of global climate change degrading the internet.

Reply to  Rob_Dawg
December 16, 2019 9:34 am

Same for bananas, affected by CC and benefited from CC 😀

You have the choice 😀 what’s true 😀

Right-Handed Shark
Reply to  Rob_Dawg
December 16, 2019 10:40 am

Not making this up, ad from that page. Order now for delivery before Christmas!:

Seriously, We Have Climate change – Climate Change Sold Direct
Check Out Climate Change on eBay. Fill Your Cart With Color today! Looking For Climate Change? Find It All On eBay with Fast and Free Shipping.

Reply to  Rob_Dawg
December 16, 2019 11:30 am

Don’t they use CO2 to decaffeinate coffee?
Does increasing atmospheric CO2 concentrations mean that eventually all coffee will be decaffeinated?

Reply to  PaulH
December 16, 2019 1:42 pm

Almost all types of coffee plants will go extinct due to global warming.

Yes, the above is an example of modern plant science at its wackiest.

By coffee plants, the researchers didn’t mean the three types actually used for coffee production, rather coffee family members that are not used in horticulture. Naturally, that is not mentioned, as it spoils the headline.

And anyway, it’s all bull…


Reply to  Gumnut
December 17, 2019 3:25 am

… and chocolate, remember the chocolate, and vanilla too. Christ, there’ll be no confectionery left!

Mark H
Reply to  PaulH
December 16, 2019 2:19 pm

That’s a climate emergency right there!

Ron Long
December 16, 2019 6:15 am

Great, to the point, and entertaining! Anthony, this is a great catch and speaks lots about the lack of insight by the climate fanatics. This is likely to replace “my dog ate my homework”!

December 16, 2019 6:32 am

Is it correct that IPCC will not release details of the instrumentation used to measure atmospheric CO2 ?

Reply to  zemlik
December 16, 2019 6:55 am

OCO-2 data from 2015 – note where the deserts are.
It looks predominantly natural, from seasonal photosynthesis and oxidation – try to find an industrial signature – I bet you won’t.

David Chappell
December 16, 2019 3:50 pm

It always amuses me that the spectacular colour range of that graphic is, in actuality, less than 10 parts per million.

Patrick MJD
Reply to  David Chappell
December 16, 2019 5:38 pm

Yes but they are angry ppm, very angry!

How dare they.

Caligula Jones
Reply to  Patrick MJD
December 17, 2019 6:14 am

Yep, chartmanship for the innumerate:

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  zemlik
December 16, 2019 10:09 am

Zemlik wrote:
Is it correct that IPCC will not release details of the instrumentation used to measure atmospheric CO2 ?

When headline questions are composed in such a manner, the answer is always ‘No’.
At least 97% of the time.

There are detailed pages about how CO2 is measured.
Measurements are taken a various places on Earth and regularly compared. The UN-IPCC does not control this monitoring and most UN folks probably don’t understand what is done.

Go here for a start, then do more reading at other sites:

And believe it or not – from this strange site:

CO2 levels are measured by hundreds of stations scattered across 66 countries which all report the same rising trend.

steve case
December 16, 2019 6:57 am

Well really, world average temperatures are up about a degree since the 19th century – certainly that must cause something?

Beware of averages. The average person has one breast and one testicle. Dixie Lee Ray

Reply to  steve case
December 16, 2019 7:13 am

More to the point, half of the population has below average IQ!

John Endicott
Reply to  Philip
December 16, 2019 8:53 am

Philip, that rather depends on whether it’s the mean, median, mid-range or mode average you are talking about (as there’s no reason to believe they’re all the same number).

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  John Endicott
December 16, 2019 10:03 am

Nor are they the same for all age groups. Pre-adolescents probably have a normal distribution of IQs. However, with the over indulgence of alcohol, use of recreational drugs, and stupid actions like sniffing glue, there is the introduction of skewness in the distribution, with a longer tail on the low-side. Adults, who have experienced traumatic sports injuries to the head, survived vehicle (especially motorcycle) accidents, and continue to kill brain cells with the consumption of various toxins, continue the distortion of the IQ distribution. Finally, as old age takes its toll with senility, even more individuals are shifted from the high end of the distribution to the low end, completing the skewing of the distribution and making mean, median, mid-range, and mode different numbers.

Reply to  John Endicott
December 16, 2019 2:07 pm

It appears that most (if not all) are based on median.

From there, it appears that there are slightly more folks on the upper end of the spectrum than the lower.

So based on methodology, slightly less than half is the population is below (median) average intelligence.

Nicholas McGinley
Reply to  DonM
December 16, 2019 6:47 pm

Just make sure never to mention the rumored disparity between ethnic groups!
Ha ha just kidding…no one has ever measured any such thing.
Yeah…that’s the ticket…

Reply to  DonM
December 16, 2019 8:42 pm

“Nicholas McGinley” – “Just make sure never to mention the rumored disparity between ethnic groups!”

If you want some great reading and both sides given equal opportunity to present their cases then check out Ron Unz lets both sides post 1,000-5,000 word essays with various research being sited. I love it because I don’t have to search all over the internet to read both sides. Murray & Thompson on one side (heredity is biggest) and Unz & Chisala (environmental is biggest) on the other.

Great reading on the subject and very civilized.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  DonM
December 17, 2019 8:11 pm

I just laid out the reasons why the situation should be the opposite from what you suggest. What part did you not understand?

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  DonM
December 17, 2019 8:20 pm

The unstated assumption is that genes and environment act equally in both directions. It seems reasonable to me that environment is more likely to reduce the IQ from the genetic potential. If a child doesn’t have adequate nutrition, then it is likely to reduce the IQ from the potential. On the other hand, since we don’t know of anything that is demonstrated to be ‘brain food,’ nutrition is unlikely to be able allow a child to exceed their genetic potential. Another way of looking at this is that regression about the mean predicts that children tend to have IQs similar to their parents. So, if the environment is optimal for healthy growth, the parent’s IQ is the best predictor. However, if the child has poor nutrition and poor schools, it will be difficult to match their parent’s IQ.

Bruce Anderson
Reply to  John Endicott
December 17, 2019 8:01 am

The IQ distribution is usually assumed to be Gaussian. Thus mean, median, mode, and midrange are the same—100. Sigma is about 15.

John Endicott
Reply to  Bruce Anderson
December 17, 2019 10:24 am

Bruce you do know what happens when you assume?

Reply to  steve case
December 16, 2019 7:14 am

Slightly less actually. Those women missing a breast and the men missing a testicle outnumber those who have three!

John Endicott
Reply to  Newminster
December 16, 2019 9:03 am

Actually much closer to two than one for breasts: Men have breasts too
breasts (plural noun)
1 : either of the pair of mammary glands extending from the front of the chest in pubescent and adult females of humans and some other mammals; also : either of the analogous but rudimentary organs of the male chest especially when enlarged

as a result, men, too, can get breast cancer (though it’s extremely rare, Male breast cancer accounts for only about 1% of all breast cancers).

shortus cynicus
Reply to  John Endicott
December 16, 2019 10:48 pm

Now the letter T in LGBT acronym (Liberty Guns Beer Tits) makes sense to me: it is about tits being grown by overconsumption of beer.

John Endicott
Reply to  shortus cynicus
December 17, 2019 12:10 pm

I think you are over thinking it Shortus. Seems to me the type of people that like to enjoy liberty, guns and beer are the same type of people that would find tits enjoyable. The scolds that would object to the enjoyment of tits are the same types of people who hate beer, guns, and liberty.

Gunga Din
Reply to  steve case
December 16, 2019 4:08 pm

I’ve got two of one but none of the other.
No wonder I’ve never fit in!

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Gunga Din
December 17, 2019 8:25 pm

Gunga Din
It is always the man’s responsibility to fit in. To not do so means to be left out of the party.

Rick C PE
December 16, 2019 7:20 am

I was somewhat dismayed to find in Sunday’s Madison.WI newspaper that Doonesbury showed up in Dilbert’s usual spot. I hope its just a glitch and not some sort of cave-in to liberal/prog demands.

Reply to  Rick C PE
December 16, 2019 7:40 am

Cave to liberal/prog demands in Madison Wisconsin? In that hotbed of conservatism? Surely not.

Ron Long
Reply to  Rod
December 16, 2019 8:55 am

Rod: Flaming SARC! There, fixed it for you.

Patrick Healy
Reply to  Rick C PE
December 16, 2019 8:11 am

Over here in Blundering Boris land, I only watch Sky Sports (a Murdoch channel)
All last week end it had rainbow stuff on.
All football players (soccer for our American readers) had to wear a little rainbow thing on their arm.
All the touchline flags were rainbow hued.
Even the football had rainbow bits on it.
Then this weekend time after time the trailers on SKY sports featured female boxers, rugby players, cricketers, jockeys, in fact everything except a mother.
Then ALL commercials featured a nice happy multi coloured family.
My wife quite fancied a Renault car to replace our wonderful old comfortable diesel.
When she saw an advert for the latest planet saving Renault featuring two women kissing, she said “no thanks”

Patrick MJD
Reply to  Patrick Healy
December 16, 2019 5:46 pm

Don’t ever buy a Renault. I worked for Renault, their parts factory (The building that was featured in a Bond movie with Roger Moore), in Swindon in the 1990’s and got to drive the 11, Clio and Laguna. All were pretty nasty on the motorways (M4). It’s why my then workmates wanted to ride in my Audi 80 when we had to go to the London office.

Reply to  Rick C PE
December 16, 2019 9:31 am

My conservative friends from that area refer to Madison as “70 square miles surrounded by reality”.

Caligula Jones
Reply to  Brad
December 16, 2019 9:46 am

Do I even have to ask if that’s where a college is?

John Endicott
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 10:06 am

Judging by the way you worded it, I suspect you already figured out the answer to your own question. But for anyone who was unaware, Madison is home to The University of Wisconsin–Madison

Rod Evans
Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 10:14 am

Does it have square gardens?

Reply to  Rod Evans
December 16, 2019 2:15 pm

In terms of relative wackiness factors, if San Francisco is a 10 out of 10 then Madison is a 9.9.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Rod Evans
December 17, 2019 8:27 pm

It does have circular reasoning!

Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 16, 2019 10:20 am

People’s Republic of Madison.

J Mac
Reply to  Rick C PE
December 16, 2019 10:04 am

Rick C PE,
I’m a ‘two time offender’ (Metallurgical Engineering) from the UW – Madison WI. When I was a student (many years back), I bought some post cards that showed a telephoto view up State Street to the capitol building. At first glance, the picture appeared to show the moon rising above the capitol but a second look showed it was actually our earthly globe.

The photo was captioned “A View Of Earth From Madison Wisconsin.” Soooooo apropos!

John the Econ
December 16, 2019 7:23 am

Climate change. What can’t it do?

Reply to  John the Econ
December 16, 2019 7:35 am

It can’t stop either global cooling or warming.

Johne Morton
December 16, 2019 7:40 am

The problem with “climate change” is that you can always play the Kevin Bacon Game and eventually link it to anything. Of course, that’s also true of… anything.

John McClure
December 16, 2019 8:04 am

Put your feet up and enjoy a tree and some nog!

You’re not “supposed” to be posting until 2020.

Your comment not mine.

Merry Christmas!!!

Best Regards,

John McClure
Reply to  John McClure
December 16, 2019 9:00 am

I’m headed over to Dr Curry and Jo Nova et al to wish them a Very Merry Holiday

Et al includes the amazing souls who teach our children well — this is a nearly unending list of Heros.

Put your feet up and craft some heartfelt cards.


December 16, 2019 8:07 am

More Monday mirthiness from madebyjimbob, an introduction to his anti-PC humor on climate change and other distorted notions.

Reply to  Ron Clutz
December 16, 2019 8:26 am

Those cartoons have made my day!

Reply to  Ron Clutz
December 16, 2019 9:22 am

Thanks for that, emailed out to all.

December 16, 2019 8:09 am

I think the end is in sight now. Nationalist governments taking over across the world who don’t care a fig for this scam.

A sign of the times-

December 16, 2019 8:40 am

Perfect cartoon!!!!!

December 16, 2019 8:45 am

ROTFL! Oh I needed this this morning, it’s hilarious!!!

December 16, 2019 8:47 am

In other good news in the category of reality checks….

Another global fraudster goes down.

Reply to  ResourceGuy
December 16, 2019 12:55 pm

Well, there go a bunch of those high-pay renewable-energy jobs we hear so much about.

Caligula Jones
Reply to  Retired_Engineer_Jim
December 16, 2019 1:12 pm

Greenies should be forced to live off the “profit” these scams make…

Richard Ilfeld
December 16, 2019 8:48 am

Lately, climate woke = parasite.
Driving a subsidised electric car charged with subsidised wind power to a taxpayer-paid-for conference to
talk about forcing people to pay more in taxes and rates to make the world better for the woke- who will be exempt from the mandatory population reductions.

Jim Whelan
Reply to  Richard Ilfeld
December 16, 2019 9:26 am

“woke” = “stupid”. I’ve never seen anything to contradict that.

John Endicott
Reply to  Jim Whelan
December 16, 2019 10:09 am

Indeed Jim. There’s a reason people say “get woke, go broke”. Businesses that embrace stupid tend to go out of business.

Caligula Jones
Reply to  John Endicott
December 16, 2019 10:55 am

Canada’s version of the New York Times (The Toronto Star, sometimes called the Red Star), has seen its stock tanking for years, taking a huge hit this fall:

Open 0.41
Prev close 0.42
52-wk high 1.06
52-wk low 0.41

It was almost $30 back in 2004, and I know that all MSM have taken a hit, but they’ve gone fully left of the leftiest left, made a big deal about hiring young SJW to staff their “free” giveaway commuter paper just last year…and shuttered it a month ago.

J Mac
December 16, 2019 9:54 am


Henry Pool
December 16, 2019 10:09 am
Caligula Jones
Reply to  Henry Pool
December 16, 2019 10:51 am

I believe you cans say the same about “gluten free”, or “sugar free” or “low calorie” anything as well…stupid people are impressed by labels.

Reply to  Caligula Jones
December 17, 2019 11:59 pm

I have seen “sugar free/zero calories” mineral water bottles.

December 16, 2019 12:16 pm

Its been a catch phrase in our house now for a few years. Something doesnt go right, “oh, I blame global warming”, nod wisely in agreement.

Matheus Carvalho
December 16, 2019 12:45 pm

In Australia Qantas blames climate change for delayed flights:

Patrick MJD
Reply to  Matheus Carvalho
December 16, 2019 5:50 pm

There was a time in the UK when BR blamed train delays on fallen leaves, snow, rain and heat on rails. I guess now they can just blame climate change, all bases are covered with that term.

Reply to  Patrick MJD
December 17, 2019 3:34 am

Friction, or lack thereof caused by wet and decaying leaves on the rails is actually a thing. Even with aggressive traction control, the coefficient of friction is the determining factor in whether the train does a wheelie, or shunts of in the appropriate direction.

Patrick MJD
Reply to  DrDweeb
December 17, 2019 4:33 pm

Used to happen also in the days with one engine/power car when sand was used as a traction assistant not electronic traction control.

John Robertson
December 16, 2019 2:22 pm

Yup Climate Change is responsible for thermometers not recording temperature lower than 40 below.
There can be no Cold records if the sensing equipment becomes out of calibration at -40.
Remember Alaska a couple of years ago?
Record Cold.But not a record as the equipment could not record.

I have been watching the weather Channel here in Canada, a Siberian high has swept in,yet no -40.
This, coupled with the previous record of Environment Canada,leads me to sense a rat.
And when I google it I get nothing.

Now this is a natural side effect of State Propaganda and “Environment Canada’s Science”, they cannot be trusted.
None of them.
Does anyone know what sensors are being used, what range of accuracy and how are they calibrated?
Because the sensing equipment installed across Canada in the 1990s was unfit for the function, with an accurate sensing range of 20 degreesC.

Measuring a normal range of -40 to 30C?
Nav Canada very quietly “upgraded” the remote sensing station, under contract from Environment Canada as I recall, in the early 2000s.

Caligula Jones
Reply to  John Robertson
December 17, 2019 6:02 am

When Canada moved to metric in the mid-70s, it led to the mass purchasing of “dual” thermometers (and the reason it takes me a few seconds to calculate the temp sometime, as my dad is still Imperial, and my son metric).

Being Canadian kids, we played hockey outside well after dark.

Stuck in my memory in December 1976 around Christmas is calling everyone over to the new thermometer that was recording both -40 degrees in Celsius (Centigrade) and Fahrenheit….

John Robertson
December 16, 2019 2:25 pm

It is dumber than I suspected.
Temperature sensors have an operating range of -40°C to +60°C and are capable of recording temperatures within 0.1°C. All temperature sensors (WIN and Environment Canada) have an accuracy of ± 0.6°C or better. Station temperature is recorded at 15 minute intervals.

Robert Bissett
December 16, 2019 3:22 pm

It’s not always global warming; sometimes it’s Trump.

December 16, 2019 4:02 pm

Y’all may be skeptics, but I have proof: I camped out a few years ago, and the ground was much harder than it was when I was young (early 60s). I’m sure that is a result of global warming. What else could it be?

Jim G
December 16, 2019 4:18 pm

It’s brilliant:

I’m sorry I forgot my homework today….
Because of climate change….

I’m sorry I’m late for work boss.
You know; it’s because of climate change…,.

Honey, I backed into the garage again…
I misjudged the distance because of climate change…

Was that your wife I was hitting on???
I’m so confused, it must be climate change…

Reply to  Jim G
December 16, 2019 11:24 pm

I recently had a string of affairs with nubile, young wenches.

This is not my normal behaviour and nor would I normally call young women “nubile wenches”, it must be climate change wot dunnit.

John Endicott
Reply to  Jim G
December 17, 2019 5:48 am

Get pulled over for speeding: But officer, climate change makes cars go faster.

Get caught having an affair: But honey, it was because of climate change, it didn’t mean anything.

Reply to  John Endicott
December 17, 2019 11:38 pm


I did have an affair, there is evidence in my emails, but the issue is why Putin hacked and sent these emails to you, and why YOU support Putin’s interference in my betrayal of your trust.

John Endicott
Reply to  niceguy
December 18, 2019 5:27 am

Ah yes, the other universal boogeyman.

December 16, 2019 4:43 pm

The teenagers have been doing using it for a couple of years, it started as the new version of the dog ate my homework (global warming burnt my homework). Then it morphed into when you did anything wrong.

Travis T. Jones
December 16, 2019 7:21 pm

Bananas are very important in Australian politics …

“When you’re concentrating on some Peking Duck and looking forward with great anticipation to a banana split at the end of the night, you’ve got to say, what are your priorities?

shortus cynicus
December 16, 2019 11:09 pm

Hey Scot, we can’t let go Russian spies go scot free.
My two fridges got hot and are terminally ill (really). Why two at once? It is a statistical proof.
Clearly, they must contaminate their natural gas with viruses spreading then into our power grid, so that we can’t enjoy Christmas, get mad and vote for authoritative politicians destroying democracy.

December 17, 2019 11:33 pm

Likewise, the “CIA” (actually, its inept talking heads expressing their “feelings” through justsecurity, lawfare and the rest of the intelligencia) who probably never had a real job and never could get one, claim: it’s Russia! And Putin!

Globul varmin, evil Putin, you have everything covered.

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