Friday Funny: praying polar bear caption contest

Credit: Ocean View Photography, Jessica Andrews

A Canadian photographer was stunned when she went back through the photos she snapped of a polar bear in her backyard to find it praying in front of a cross.

Jessica Andrews, 22, learned the bear was roaming around the Wesleyville, Newfoundland on an island behind her house from an online alert Wednesday.

Andrews didn’t even notice the photo of the praying bear until she went through the 200 photos after the shoot.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4368188/Polar-bear-caught-praying-cross.html#ixzz4cvclXNNh

Surely, this photo will end up in Al Gore’s slide show, and be used in creative ways by WWF and other rent seeking outfits under the guise of something like “polar bear prays for the Arctic”. But, I thought we might find some other, obviously funny captions from our community of readers.

Have at it!

Advertisements

182 thoughts on “Friday Funny: praying polar bear caption contest

    • Dr. Dave nailed this one first so I felt his post should go up here…

      “The truly amazing thing is where this bear was seen… Wesleyville, Newfoundland. Not being an expert on Newfoundland, I did a search of Google Maps to see just where “Wesleyville” is located. I was surprised to find out how far away from the Arctic this place is… its latitude is only slightly higher than the northern tip of Maine!”

      Turns out the former seal hunting town is just north of the Provincial capital of St John’s with a population of 200,000. Guess we know what he was praying for! ;)

  1. Dear God, please get me out of this you forsaken frozen wasteland, and let me roam among those who find me cuddly. Berkeley will do.

  2. …. and please, please, make Susan Crockford and Jim Steele stop telling the truth about us. Okay. Okay! I KNOW you hate lies, but (whine), just this once? We need, er, I mean, want those Coke deals.


    (youtube)

    *******************************************

    THIS THREAD IS GRRREAT! So many fun comments above mine. Thank you, Anthony!

  3. I’m looking for organic matter to consume, I need it to survive. You know, the matter containing Carbon that was extracted from CO2 thru photosynthesis.

  4. More likely just using the human worshipping pole as a scratching post , to sharpen his/her nails.

  5. dear bear-doG: please send Bill McKibben and some climatologists up here now; before it ices up and they can’t travel. I’ll be all cuddly, really I will. I promise. And it’ll be a nice change from seals. mmmmm

  6. As I stretch up high to pray
    I beg you let warm weather stay
    Ice and snow and freezing cold
    Makes joints all stiff when you are old
    Where are the seals to make me fat
    Or one big Mann. What’s Up With that?

  7. Let’s see, how did that class go? Grab pole, wait for music, wrap legs, hang upside down, collect dollars.

  8. Lord,
    Can you do something about this Human population problem up here? Every time I turn around there is either a Hunter or a Human with a camera taking my picture.

    • You mis-remember, Ms. Polar Bear. — That was Al Gore nailing Truth to the cross. Thankfully, God had other plans. :)

      TRUMP WON!

      “God’s amazing grace.” Mike Pence, very early in the morning, November 9, 2016

  9. The truly amazing thing is where this bear was seen… Wesleyville, Newfoundland. Not being an expert on Newfoundland, I did a search of Google Maps to see just where “Wesleyville” is located. I was surprised to find out how far away from the Arctic this place is… its latitude is only slightly higher than the northern tip of Maine!

    The question to ask is how in the world did that bear get so far south? It couldn’t have caught a ride on an ice flow since the arctic ice is supposedly all gone… sarc/

    • Great catch, Dr. Dave …. if polar bears can live there, they can live about anywhere that’s got cold winters.

      I looked up the map of Wesleyville too .. it’s just a short hop over to St. Johns, which is a year around ice free seaport, as I understand, with average daily highs barely below freezing in January and February (around 30-31 deg F). Certainly not “arctic” climate, where all those poor white-furred dears can’t possibly survive except on a humongous ice pack with an occasional small hole in the ice in which to pluck seals out to eat.

  10. “Lord I thank thee for Warming Alarmists. Their gullibility has made our plight a pleasure. We’re more popular and populous than ever. I wouldn’t mind a few for breakfast. Amen.”

  11. Please help! I just dined on Michael Mann…now I can’t get this taste of BS out of my mouth.

  12. The times they are a changin. I heard from my great great uncle that his great great uncle saw this before but the snow covered it up and it was lost. Now that the snow is gone again I’ve found it. I guess my ancestors were right.

  13. Seriously though, is there ANYTHING in nature that credulous humans won’t anthropomorphize?

  14. This isn’t the North Pole?
    Darn, where did I go wrong?
    And where are the polar bear welfare people?
    I need a fur seal pup right now!

  15. That nice lady is taking my picture. If I look cute enough maybe she’ll come closer and I can have dinner.

    Thanks! Just like the ol’ Far Side comics.

  16. Who can that be? Why, we used to sing about him in Sunday School!!
    Its Gladlee, the cross-eyed bear!

  17. I’m unable to be funny with this. To me it’s beautiful! One of God’s magnificent creatures looking up at Him.

    The first thought I had was “How great thou art!”

    • Aw, JesusDidNotGiveUpOnMe (me, too! :) ), that was so cool. Good for you to be yourself, too.

      You deserve a song! (one of my faves by one of my favorite groups)

      “Somebody’s Gonna Praise His Name” (Petra)

      (youtube)

      Somebody’s gonna praise His name.
      Somebody’s gonna call Him Lord.
      It’ll either be you and me
      or it’s gonna be a rock or tree … .

      “Let the rivers clap their hands,
      let the mountains sing together for joy.” Psalm 98:8

      “‘I tell you,’ he replied, ‘if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.'” Luke 19:40.

  18. OK A little bit off-color

    “Hey, where did that body of Jesus go? I was saving that for a desert”

  19. “Hellllo, dear! I’mnahlateferrdinnerrr! I’m (hic) errrleee for breakfush……. Dear?…… Oh. Dear. Sheeesh done gawnnannn FROZE TO DEATHTHTHTH! (sob)”

  20. What idiot put this thing here? ( Note: If he were praying, it would be a wind turbine.)

    (I have a photo of a “begging bunny”. Yes, that is anthropomorphism, but I KNOW he’s not begging, he just looks like it.)

  21. Caption:

    “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz, my friends all drive Porches, I must make Amends.”

    with apologies to Janice Joplin’s great lyrics

    John

    • ANOTHER +1 (I’d better just stop — I really should +1 just about every comment on THIS great thread!)

      :)

  22. A Polar Bear beseeching his God,
    To provide a surplus of cod,
    So they’d be the meals
    To make a surplus of seals
    To maintain his quite ample bod

    Not the greatest, but all I can come up with on short notice.

  23. AW:

    Please forgive me inserting a serious point into this intentionally humorous thread.

    The linked article quotes Jessica Andrews whose camera took the photo. It says,

    She told the Toronto Sun:

    ‘I didn’t notice it when I was taking them, but when I started to go through to edit them, oh my God, I was like, “Holy cr**, he’s praying!”’

    ‘I was amazed, I mean, beyond amazed.’

    Her words reminded me of two things.

    Firstly, decades ago when studying theology I was considering writings of the great theologian CS Lewis. He defined humans as being creatures who recognised the existence of divine power, and he wrote

    ‘If I were given evidence that a chicken prayed then I would agree the chicken is human.

    My immediate reaction – that I still have – was a desire to know what that “evidence” could be.

    Jessica Andrews says she thinks her photo is evidence that the polar bear prays, but few would agree that it is such evidence (and I don’t).

    Secondly, as Jessica Andrews demonstrates, people ‘see’ what they want to ‘see’ when seeking confirmation of their beliefs. She ‘sees’ the polar bear leaning against a cross as being evidence of the bear praying because she WANTS to believe the bear should be treated as having human attributes. And I suspect she would not understand if someone told her that her anthropomorphism is no different from thinking Mickey Mouse is typical of mice. In her own words, what she thinks her photo shows gives her a feeling of wonder (i.e. “I was amazed, I mean, beyond amazed.) and she would not want to lose that feeling.

    This feeling is a corruption of religious faith. It is superstition: i.e. it has the emotion of faith but no coherent philosophy to support it. And being purely emotional it is impervious to refuting evidence, logic and/or argument.

    Similar superstition is typical of believers in the idea that human activities are causing discernible global climate change. As is demonstrated by e.g. ‘Griff’ and ‘seaice1’ on WUWT. They WANT to believe that idea so their superstitious belief is impervious to any refuting evidence, logic and/or argument.

    Richard

    • I have, in the past, been very emphatically informed by a science person that anthropomorphism is acceptable in cases not concerning science. One can call animal groups families and mommies and daddies and kiddies if you are not talking science. Making animals human is only wrong in science discussions. It stands to reason, you can also say they are praying as long as you don’t call it science.

      • Sheri:

        You raise an important semantic point. The nature of anthropomorphism has importance.

        Human family relationships have animal analogues.
        Prayer and e.g. mathematics are examples of human activities which have no known animal analogues.

        I did not say that ALL anthropomorphism is improper or inappropriate.
        I said of Jessica Andrews claim that the bear was praying,

        I suspect she would not understand if someone told her that her anthropomorphism is no different from thinking Mickey Mouse is typical of mice.

        Richard

      • Animals lack true speech (i.e., saying something, knowing what it means, and expecting like creatures to understand it) and all the activities deriving therefrom. Likewise, animals do not compose music, perform in ensembles, write novels or plays (or short stories or poems), nor do they learn foreign languages. They do not paint to represent objects or persons. They do not compile histories of families, tribes, kingdoms; they do not form nations or cohesive tribes. They do not use money or other means of exchange, and they do not keep or compile records of incidents or natural events. They do not plant or prepare food in any meaningful way. In short, they are not human, and they are in every intellectual way different from humans.

      • Steve,

        No one doubts that animals communicate with each other in a variety of ways.

        Speech however is another matter. Humans are the only animals which put sounds together in flexible ways rather than stereotyped signals.

      • Gloateus:

        I apologise that I was not clear.

        Yes, as you say some animals are observed to conduct simple arithmetic, but I said “mathematics” by which I meant manipulating abstract symbols to investigate abstract concepts (i.e. algebra, trigonometry, etc.).

        Please also note that I wrote, “Prayer and e.g. mathematics are examples of human activities which have no known animal analogues.” My inclusion of “e.g.” before one of the examples was intended to imply that my examples were of a type, but I admit that my implication was not clear. I request that you refer to my first post in this subthread and consider my sentence that said, “My immediate reaction – that I still have – was a desire to know what that “evidence” could be”: my implied type of examples were human practices where animal analogues would be difficult to discern.

        Language, tool-making and artistic painting are all examples of human practices where animal analogues have been observed.

        I hope this clarifies my meaning.

        Richard

    • I had no clue that the photographer actually believed the polar bear was praying. Is this true? — she actually believed this?

      If yes, then this would be more amazing than her amazement at the image. I thought her amazement was over the chance juxtaposition of a polar bear with a cross and this coincidental association with catastrophic global warming claims.

      • Robert Kernodle:

        You ask

        I had no clue that the photographer actually believed the polar bear was praying. Is this true? — she actually believed this?

        All we know is what the Toronto Son claims Jessica Andrews said which is as I quoted.

        If you believe the newspaper accurately quoted her words and if you accept that she meant what she said, then you agree she “actually believed the polar bear was praying”.

        If you do not agree those two things then you have no reason to accept that she “actually believed the polar bear was praying”.

        Richard

      • I believe the quoted words of the photographer and that the media reported these words correctly. I did not think, however, that the photographer meant these words literally.

      • Robert Kernodle:

        This is a genuine request for explanation because I honestly do not understand your point.

        You say

        I believe the quoted words of the photographer and that the media reported these words correctly. I did not think, however, that the photographer meant these words literally.

        Please say what you think she meant by those words because I don’t understand how those words can mean other than they say.

        Richard

      • Are we talking abut THESE words: ‘I didn’t notice it when I was taking them, but when I started to go through to edit them, oh my God, I was like, “Holy cr**, he’s praying!”’

        ‘I was amazed, I mean, beyond amazed.’

        Well, she could be struck by the visual appearance and shocked that it looked so much like praying, and she was referring to this appearance, NOT meaning the words seriously, like when you might say, “Holy crap, I caught a picture of a dog laughing”, NOT meaning that you actually believed the dog was laughing, but you were speaking in a surprised tone that reflected the APPEARANCE, rather than the actual belief in the words uttered … LITERALLY.

        But, in the case that she DID actually believe what she saw and spoke literally, I’m afraid that I did not present my best effort in jest, and so to redeem myself, I offer this:

      • Richard, I tried to reply, but my comment appears to have been flagged for moderation for some bizarre reason that we all do not understand, since it did not appear after I posted it.

      • The words could mean what they say directly, or it could be read indirectly as her saying it looks like the bear is praying.
        People often use shorthand when speaking.

  24. ‘Dear Lord, If I’m really a polar bear, how come my feet are bloody freezing’?

  25. Suddenly, in the presence of the strange icon, he felt the urge to stand erect and look at it.

    or

    Oh $h#t, inedible.

  26. Polar bears don’t pray, but worship of bears by humans has an ancient history. Cave bear skulls on altar-like platforms date back tens of thousands of years. It is natural that people would consider bears gods, since in so many environments, they are the most powerful carnivores, possessed of great intelligence, able to walk like men and hard to kill with stone, bone and wooden weapons.

    Well into historical times bear worship persisted in a number of cultures:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_worship#Ainu_bear_worship

    Ainu rituals are reminiscent of Christian dogma and practice, involving sacrifice and a ritual feast upon the flesh of the victim offered up to cleanse sin and propitiate the spiritual powers.

    • Given their strength, smarts and other-worldly senses, polar bears were arguably the top predator in the Arctic before firearms. In groups, Eskimos, American Indians and indigenous Siberians and Sami could hunt and kill the largely solitary bears, but one on one, it was nolo contendre.

  27. I think it’s most humorous to consider the different prayers our saintly brother bear might be offering depending on his denomination:

    – Catholic: “Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.”

    – Episcopal: “Reading together from Pg 828 of the book of Common Prayer, let us pray: ‘O gracious Father, who openest thine hand and fillest all things living with plenteousness: Bless the lands and waters, and multiply the harvests of the world…’ ”

    – Presbyterian: “…if it’s pleasing to You, grant travel mercies to those heading south to warmer climes during this harsh winter. And if it be in Your Divine Will, please bless those of us hunting seals this week with success and let us remember that regardless of the outcomes of our endeavors, Your Will is perfect and Your grace sufficient for all our needs.”

    – Southern Baptist: “And turn the hearts of these wayward seals back You, that we might enjoy a full harvest of willing souls tonight…”

    – Pentecostal: “And STRIKE the hearts of these…SINFUL…seals. And lay them DOWN at the feet of YOUR servant. AND TURN these backslidden miscreants OUT of their misery, and BACK INTO the the RIGHTEOUSNESS of TRUE…”

    – Ricky Bobby: “Sweet Baby Jesus…wrapped up in swaddling clothes…bless me with many seals today…”

    rip

  28. “Looks like there’s a pretty bare easter around here”
    “Hope she can make a decent coffee”

  29. Global warming to blame!
    ———————————

    For Newfoundland kids, ‘stranger-danger’ includes polar bears
    Parents are schooling kids in the risks posed by ursine visitors. Good idea, because the bears may soon be arriving in greater numbers

    “Since bear sightings in the early winter have been linked to climate change, some parents are more concerned for their future grandchildren. “If this is going to continue, one of the things we’ll have to teach children is to pay attention to news bulletins and things like that, and to avoid conflict with a polar bear,” says Ernest Simms, mayor of St. Anthony’s, Nfld., where a bear was hit by a snow plow last week, while another was spotted near an RV park. Polar bears have always roamed southern Labrador in the spring, but climate change may bring them out earlier in the winter.”

    http://www.macleans.ca/society/for-newfoundland-kids-stranger-danger-includes-polar-bears/

    • I thought the narrative is that Polar bears would disappear? Are people following the progression of the meme from say 30 years ago? Aren’t they questioning yet? Why not?

Comments are closed.