This is a personal note to readers that I’ve been meaning to write for a couple of weeks, and I feel today is the right day. Don’t ask me why- it just feels right.
Regular readers may have noticed that for about 18 months, I’ve been somewhat absent from WUWT. There have been lots of guest posts, many press releases, and times when there were many hours in delays in moderation of comments or long hours between new posts. Readers may have noticed that I’ve been rather curt, maybe even “grouchy” during that time. Projects that I have been wanting to get off the ground, such as the Open Atmospheric Society, have languished. All of that lands squarely on me, my physical health, and my state of mind these last few months. I’ve alluded to this before in a previous post a couple of months back but things weren’t sorted out yet, and I really didn’t want to tell you all until I was ready.
Basically, I went through a life-changing experience: an ugly divorce. It was announced to me shortly after my return from London and Bristol in September 2014. All of the things I had hoped to accomplish after that wonderful trip went to hell in a hand basket with an express ticket as I had to sort out new life priorities. I’m sure many of you reading have been through the same thing, and know that when I was told by someone that the only thing more disruptive to your life is the death of a loved one, you can most certainly believe that. This affected my health, my mental well-being, my demeanor, my job, my finances; everything. Those of you that have been through it, you know the drill.
Some of you might ask, “was my dedication to keeping up WUWT a factor”? The answer was: mostly, no. The good thing about WUWT was that I could do it from home, and the multitasking nature of it did allow me to carry on family matters while at the same time keeping up with the state of climate science and posts about it. That said, in the early stages, I did offer to give up WUWT completely and shut it down if it was something that made a difference. There was a day when I actually took all my computers out of the house with the pledge that I would no longer blog from home. It didn’t make any difference because the problems were rooted elsewhere, and as I discovered, unsolvable. I suppose the best way to describe this whole situation is that people change. And sometimes other health related life altering events in the past set people you love on new paths that maybe they didn’t intend to follow. There’s really no blame in this nor really any good answers, it just is what it is, and you have to deal with the regime change the best you can. That’s what I did, and throughout that time, while I suffered, so did the quality of what was presented on WUWT because honestly, there were many days that even bringing myself to the keyboard was an impossible effort. But, like me, WUWT continued.
Now I’m happy to say that I’m out of the dark, and into the light again. Things are completely sorted, the road ahead looks clear, and while I’m bruised a bit and somewhat poorer, I’m OK, and I’ve left my baggage behind. I’ve checked my baggage and told the airline of life that I’d appreciated them losing it for me, and no, I don’t want it back. In fact, they can eject it over the Pacific into that mythical great Pacific garbage patch, because I’m ready to travel to new destinations, new experiences, and new friends. I don’t need the old baggage where I’m going.
I want to thank a number of close friends, some of whom are WUWT friends, who knew and helped me get out of the tunnel. You know who you are. I also want to thank Matt over at Must Be This Tall to Ride for his help in putting things into perspective.
P.S. Shortly after publication, I got an email inquiring about who got to keep Kenji, our resident pooch and the only animal member of The Union of Concerned Scientists. The answer is that even though Kenji technically was a gift to my ex-wife, Kenji long ago chose me as “his person”, and it was decided he’d go with me.
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Sorry Anthony, for your difficult times. Hope you find better days ahead.
Rarely miss a day of WUWT. Sad and bad as a divorce is, you can’t change the past, so onwards and upwards. In School days, the only hymn that made any sense to me was Onward Christian Soldiers.
We sang “Onward, Christian Soldiers” indeed, and I felt that this was no vain presumption, but that we had the right to feel that we serving a cause for the sake of which a trumpet has sounded from on high. When I looked upon that densely packed congregation of fighting men of the same language, of the same faith, of the same fundamental laws, of the same ideals … it swept across me that here was the only hope, but also the sure hope, of saving the world from measureless degradation.
— Winston Churchill
Different cause, same sentiment.
I have not missed a day since before Climategate. Anthony, you created a light at the end of the tunnel for what, maybe hundreds of thousands of visitors, (possiby a million unique visitors?)…..many people over the years who found an answer at your humble abode to questions other sites cannot or will not address. To all my friends in Anthony’s house, thank you thank you thank you…I tell you three times.
Patrick, quietly sitting in the back of the pub, soaking it in, rarely commenting……
For an often depressed alcoholic, Winnie did alright for himself. Inspired millions of the rest of us while he was at it. He faced some long odds and terrible times, always with courage and purpose. Anthony, you demonstrate similar courage and purpose that inspires us to believe the fight is worthwhile. We who are (not) about to fry, salute you!
you have strange friends in some places
no no no
you have some friends in strange places, I missed meeting last time you came to Blighty,
Not the next time.
The English wine improves by the year they say
But the beer is always tasty
My hat is off to you Anthony..It takes a truly great man to share his agony…I wish I could be half as much..
+1
Sorry I came to this late Anthony,( problems of my own).
May the road ahead be clear.
I can only wish you the best of luck and good friends sir. The analogy of a a bereavement being the same was also said to me with the qualification that with a berievement you at least had a ‘closure’. Your work and blog has been, not only educational but an inspiration over the years. I, personally, hope you keep it up.
You kept the porch light on here, a great service to your readers.
Best of luck to you.
I just received news today that one of my loved ones is well on the way to a divorce. My heart goes out to you and all that you’ve gone through over the past 18 months.
I’m looking forward to the future and more posts by you here on WUWT. Cheers to better days!
I wish I could find words to express how sorry I am. Your piece was moving and courageous, and I’m profoundly happy that you’re out of the tunnel, back in the light.
Remembering the good times of the past is a solid foundation to build on a happier future.
Been there got the T shirt! I had to call time on a 23 year marriage, it was hard and scary, never lived on my own before. I can honestly say it was the best thing I could have done for myself, the baggage rears it’s ugly head now and then but I’m now married to a wonderful man whom I would not have met had I not taken life by the scruff of the neck and shaken it.
Good luck for the future….go onward and you will in time realise it was for the best.
Dear Anthony,
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. That you wrote what you did proves that you are a man of strength and character. That you were so graciously silent as to the failings of the one who hurt you so badly proves that you are a gracious man of integrity. There are many things, no doubt, that you COULD have said and refrained. Yes, I realize that you are not refusing your share of whatever “blame,” there is, but, you could have said a lot, I have NO doubt.
For me, divorce was painful, but, it was good. I finally got off the Hope-Devastation Roller Coaster (makes you feel nauseous a lot and only fun once in awhile). When you love someone very much, you don’t realize that the love you think is shining back at you is only an optical illusion (for awhile….. and then, you hang in there, for years, hoping he or she will change…..). I am so thankful to God for releasing me from that bondage of loving someone who never loved me. If I had not gotten out, I would never have met my dearest person in the whole world — and he really loves me! Me!!! 🙂
But, one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal … (Philippians 3:13)
You are loveable. And you deserve to be respected and valued.
Good things are ahead for you!
With admiration and respect and prayers (for your kids, too),
Janice
P.S. It has been bugging me and bugging me that I implied that you had any blame. While many relationship problems have shared blame, there are also MANY where only one is the person creating the problem and the other is simply reacting and trying to cope as best as they can. There is NO blame to be put on someone for lacking “perfect” responses to an unhealthy (or other issue) partner. To blame them is to, essentially, blame the victim. Not assuming ANY-thing, here, Anthony, but, {now in my “sister” mode — as in, do not MESS with my brother! Do — not — even} given what a wonderful person you are, my GUESS is: you have no significant blame here. Any of the guilt you feel is the pseudo-guilt stage of grieving a loss (as in: denial — anger — depression — guilt — acceptance).
Okay. That’s all. Just couldn’t go to bed without clarifying the “blame” word.
P.P.S. Oh, and SO glad Kenji is with you. My two German Shepherds are glad, too, “Whew!” they said soberly, eyes big, “That was a CLOSE CALL.”
Janice, many, many here at WUWT love you. Almost all here love, yes, love Anthony Watts and consider him a true hero.
Aw, Stan……. 🙂
Hope those little birds on the railing are still giving you joy.
Janice
you don’t need to face death to know courage.
you have to face life- and choose it.
happy independence day!
Thank you for being so transparent and open.
Best wishes on your journey forward.
And many thanks for deciding to persevere with WUWT.
You are making a positive difference in this world.
So sorry to hear about this, having a loved one leave is really difficult. There’s not a lot a person can say other than things do get better eventually. And that you have an untold number of people who want the best for you and really care.
I live the no-win scenario pretty much daily.
Anthony, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I have no words or experience that may alleviate them but can only hope you find the strength to get through and find peace and happiness again. In the meantime you owe us nothing and we owe you much, thank you for all that you do including giving many people hope in the months and years to come. I wish you every good fortune in the days ahead, goodness knows you deserve it.
Anthony, I’ve read the comments and there’s no need for me to repeat what johnbuk expressed better than I ever could do. If johnbuk doesn’t mind…
What he said.
Same here. And best wishes.
As you mentioned, many have gone down this road. Not easy nor pleasant and certainly painful. Wishing you the best.
Two sets of footprints on that path.
======
There is much that binds us all. Empathy is a strong human condition. I am humbled and impressed by your strength and honesty. May the fruits of your passion continue to reward you. I acknowledge the privilege of drawing from your efforts and thankyou for that. My best wishes to you.
Been there, twice. But I have my life back, the way I want to live it.
When you, as you wrote, have a new start and new perspective, my only advise would be to truly believe that what you desire, exists. You may not know the time, but you will know it’s on your path.
Thank you for telling your story. All the best!
Haven’t been down that path but have sure seen enough of it. Seems to me it is a wound that takes a long time to heal and probably never quite does.
Anthony,
Good luck with your journey.
I truly believe history will show you to be one of the true heroes of our age, a man who stood up for truth.
Pat
Yeah, Anthony, it’s hard. I went through it from late 1986 through part of 1988. I thought the idea of people dying of a broken heart was mythical until I was told the spouse was leaving and it damned near happened. But I recovered rather quickly and decided the best path was to try to make the whole thing work best for the kids and made it happen. After the final decision to divorce and getting over the emotional hurt, it was after all, essentially, a business deal. Get the best deal for a clean break and carry on with life.
Stay well, Anthony. After all, your health is really all you have.
Been there, done that. Divorce became final just one month after 30th anniversary. We spent out 25th talking about separation. And as one of her favorite country songs said: she got the gold mine, I got the shaft. Tried 9 years and lots of therapists/marriage counselors to keep it together, but finally failed as the kids left for college. Took a lot longer than you have to recover some modicum of equilibrium in a totally changed venue. Highest regards.
A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar at the top. Abaft, ye lubbers, the wake your shaft.
=================
Dang, shoulda had twirling props. I’d a laffed.
===========
The mining engineer’s divorce: She got the gold mine, he got the shaft.
Here’s to leaving the past behind, having a wonderful today, and having many more wonderful todays to come.
Anthony, I’m glad you are doing better. Your situation reminds me of the hard times I went through a few years ago. My parents went through a messy divorce a few years ago and we lost our house to foreclosure. This was right on the heels of the my sibling taking her life. I started reading your site in about 2012 when my state was having some really awful wildfires and the media did nothing but try and scare us with doom stories instead of being supportive. Reading what you said helped me put things into perspective and helped me cope with the fear I was experiencing and find myself of the road to being skeptical. but things do get better. my parents got back together and I live in a nice house now. I’m 25 now and I regularly read your site. Never forget you have younger readers too!
A very difficult set of conditions, RC. It’s not always easy to find the perspective on other people that allows one to see their actions objectively. This is especially true of family members or a spouse, where we expect constancy. The reality is that people are only troubled, flawed human beings. We just have to put one foot in front of the other and believe that our best efforts can make the world a better place, for ourselves and those we care about. “Chin up!” As my dear old Dad used to say!
I had suspected, that all these climate scare stories would be hard on young people. What a horrible “gift” to give to kids, that they claim to “help”. Great to hear that you are doing great now.