My emergence from the end of a long, dark, tunnel

This is a personal note to readers that I’ve been meaning to write for a couple of weeks, and I feel today is the right day. Don’t ask me why-  it just feels right.

emergence-from-long-dark

Regular readers may have noticed that for about 18 months, I’ve been somewhat absent from WUWT. There have been lots of guest posts, many press releases, and times when there were many hours in delays in moderation of comments or long hours between new posts. Readers may have noticed that I’ve been rather curt, maybe even “grouchy” during that time. Projects that I have been wanting to get off the ground, such as the Open Atmospheric Society, have languished. All of that lands squarely on me, my physical health, and my state of mind these last few months. I’ve alluded to this before in a previous post a couple of months back but things weren’t sorted out yet, and I really didn’t want to tell you all until I was ready.

Basically, I went through a life-changing experience: an ugly divorce. It was announced to me shortly after my return from London and Bristol in September 2014. All of the things I had hoped to accomplish after that wonderful trip went to hell in a hand basket with an express ticket as I had to sort out new life priorities. I’m sure many of you reading have been through the same thing, and know that when I was told by someone that the only thing more disruptive to your life is the death of a loved one, you can most certainly believe that. This affected my health, my mental well-being, my demeanor, my job, my finances; everything. Those of you that have been through it, you know the drill.

Some of you might ask, “was my dedication to keeping up WUWT a factor”? The answer was: mostly, no. The good thing about WUWT was that I could do it from home, and the multitasking nature of it did allow me to carry on family matters while at the same time keeping up with the state of climate science and posts about it. That said, in the early stages, I did offer to give up WUWT completely and shut it down if it was something that made a difference. There was a day when I actually took all my computers out of the house with the pledge that I would no longer blog from home. It didn’t make any difference because the problems were rooted elsewhere, and as I discovered, unsolvable. I suppose the best way to describe this whole situation is that people change. And sometimes other health related life altering events in the past set people you love on new paths that maybe they didn’t intend to follow. There’s really no blame in this nor really any good answers, it just is what it is, and you have to deal with the regime change the best you can. That’s what I did, and throughout that time, while I suffered, so did the quality of what was presented on WUWT because honestly, there were many days that even bringing myself to the keyboard was an impossible effort. But, like me, WUWT continued.

Now I’m happy to say that I’m out of the dark, and into the light again. Things are completely sorted, the road ahead looks clear, and while I’m bruised a bit and somewhat poorer, I’m OK, and I’ve left my baggage behind. I’ve checked my baggage and told the airline of life that I’d appreciated them losing it for me, and no, I don’t want it back. In fact, they can eject it over the Pacific into that mythical great Pacific garbage patch, because I’m ready to travel to new destinations, new experiences, and new friends. I don’t need the old baggage where I’m going.

I want to thank a number of close friends, some of whom are WUWT friends, who knew and helped me get out of the tunnel. You know who you are. I also want to thank Matt over at Must Be This Tall to Ride for his help in putting things into perspective.

P.S. Shortly after publication, I got an email inquiring about who got to keep Kenji, our resident pooch and the only animal member of The Union of Concerned Scientists. The answer is that even though Kenji technically was a gift to my ex-wife, Kenji long ago chose me as “his person”, and it was decided he’d go with me.

 

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Amber
July 26, 2016 9:53 pm

Anthony everyone here knows what you have given up personally to educate ,inform and win this battle.
People in our lives pay a huge price at times and that is the real hard part .
Thank you for doing it is all I can say . There is a lot at stake .

4TimesAYear
July 26, 2016 10:43 pm

That’s a very rough road…thanks for sharing your story – and welcome back.

July 26, 2016 11:42 pm

It’s impossible to overstate the redemptive powers of a loving dog.

donaitkin
July 26, 2016 11:52 pm

Every good wish, Anthony, both for what you have been through, and for the future. I have been there, so I know.

neoteny
July 27, 2016 12:51 am

Wishing you the best.

July 27, 2016 12:53 am

Anthony, All the best mate.

Richard G
July 27, 2016 1:12 am

I did notice the change in your demeanor over time and chalked it up to the battle. It just wasn’t the battle I thought it was. I’m looking forward to the new Anthony as all life experiences change us in profound ways, even if they aren’t apparent to us at the time or unfold slowly in small steps.

blcjr
Editor
July 27, 2016 2:57 am

I am so sorry to hear this, but happy that things are getting better for you. Like some others have mentioned, I lost my wife of 47 a couple of years to illness and know what that’s like. But having watched a son go through a divorce I can imagine (but only imagine) what that’s like, and how in some respects it could even be worse than the death of a spouse. Keep the faith. You, and your work, mean the world to us.
Basil

blcjr
Editor
Reply to  blcjr
July 27, 2016 2:58 am

“47 years”

July 27, 2016 5:01 am

Not having suffered a loss like yours I cannot comprehend what you’ve been going through.
All I can say is *thank you* for keeping WUWT going despite everything;
you are making the world a better place.

David T Grogan
July 27, 2016 6:12 am

I very much appreciate your bouncing back, Anthony, even if it might feel like a somewhat deflated way. You are a pillar of scientific honesty and decency. Thank (insert supreme being of choice) for your previous and continued contribution to making this world a saner and safer place . There may be more of them but folk of your ilk outweigh them by far in terms of quality.
Best wishes for a brighter, happier and financially sounder future…

Michael S
July 27, 2016 6:34 am

Anthony,
I am only just catching up on my reading and saw this. I can’t fathom the difficulties of a situation like this, but I hope you have found a new and better direction. Like many on here, I wish you a wonderful, happy and healthy future. Thank you for all you have done, all you do, and all you will add to life . . . . for all of us.

July 27, 2016 6:51 am

I went through a divorce a little over two years ago. Before I filed, I had a hunting bud tell me it takes about two years following a divorce for you to get your life back into a new normal. That has proven correct. Hang in there.

Doctor Gee
July 27, 2016 7:28 am

Like others late to the party, I can only say how I admire your courage for being so open over a deeply personal matter and thank you for the light that WUWT brings to bear on climate. Stay strong!

July 27, 2016 9:28 am

I know what you mean,Anthony. my Divorce process will end on August 10th when the Judge sorts out the remaining issues.
My health greatly improved after I lost my job back in March,been unemployed ever since. But my old under powered Hearing Aid went bad,decided to give it up and go nearly deaf.
May your days ahead be unfolding into a new happier life for you.

RECON
July 27, 2016 10:28 am

I went through that over 25 years ago and still think of it as a catastrophic car wreck that I wasn’t sure I would survive. But as you have experienced it does pass and the future becomes more appealing and you have work to do! (Which is a great healer) I have daily enjoyed your website for years and feel I’ve learned immense amounts about science from you, the articles and especially the commenters. I want to thank you for your continued efforts and am happy that you got Kenji–dogs are great loving creatures and for me have always been a bright spot in my life.

Steve L.
July 27, 2016 2:12 pm

I’m a long-time lurker on here, mainly because it’s so refreshing to know I’m not the last rational man in the world when it comes to assessing climate science with some rationality, based in facts.
I’m making this comment to let you know your work here is truly appreciated. If not for your blog I would have truly despaired of feeling like the only scientifically literal person who could see the AGW nonsense for what it is.
Hope great things come to you in the near future and sorry to hear about your troubles. Fortunately with that door closing new opportunities in life will make themselves available.

Gil Dewart
July 27, 2016 2:16 pm

Anthony —
Figured there was something going on, and gave consideration for that. All the best for you from now on.

Michael Jennings
July 27, 2016 4:21 pm

Sorry for your pain Anthony and I can not imagine the depth of despair you have traveled through these past 18 months. While some may consider this not politically correct in this day and age, I will pray for your peace of mind and well being. May God bless you and give you joy

Andyj
July 27, 2016 7:02 pm

All of the above has been well said before. Loss, death and depression. The suffocation of that black cloud. Horrible. Couldn’t even wish it on the instigator of glowbull warning.
Anthony, hoping you escape from it like a bat out of hell.

July 27, 2016 10:37 pm

I posted yesterday that the redemptive powers of a loving dog Kenji cannot be overestimated, but it has been removed. Anthony as I type this, my rescue greyhound is obstructing my keyboard as she lies across my lap. I don’t have many months left on this planet but the love I get all day and night from my dog will make those months bearable. You have a longer future and a loving dog so you are doing fine.

July 27, 2016 10:40 pm

Anthony it has not been removed. Apologies. That’s the 2nd time I’ve made that mistake here.

GregE
July 27, 2016 11:11 pm

Hi Anthony, BTDT and it does take a while to get some equilibrium back but in time you’ll build a new life and the sun will shine again.

Paul Hanlon
July 28, 2016 4:29 am

So sorry to hear this Anthony. You are a shining example of what people can achieve when they are determined enough. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

dscott
July 28, 2016 6:14 am

Been there, been done. It sounds trite but there is some bitter truth to the saying: “That which does not kill you makes you stronger.”
It only gets better Anthony, am there and am better.
Oh, and the idea people change is not quite true in most circumstances. The truth is that the image presented to you was only an aspirational hope on the part of the other person, otherwise why the pretense? You were presented with an image they knew you would find attractive, in time either the image becomes reality because they rose to become that person whom they projected or they find maintaining the image becomes burdensome and tedious so that they have “find” themselves to revolt against “your” expectations. The concept of we, ours, and us is suffocating to the person who is mis-matched to another, and they yearn for the slavery of me, myself and I. The person who is willing to sacrifice the relationship for their own priorities, never was marriage material in the first place, this is why the other person “seemingly” changes. Selfishness = Slavery. version 1.0
The harsh reality is that when we accept responsibility for the failure of the relationship (regardless if you truly believe it was all their fault) that we chose poorly in a partner, we are free to choose a better person and are given the life experience to do the proper due diligence in selecting a better life partner that matches our character. Upon finding that life partner who is without pretense of false images, you and they are free to become a better more successful version of your individual selves through synergy. Marriage = Freedom. version 2.0
These are hard life lessons to learn, sometimes painfully so.

July 28, 2016 7:38 am

Thanks for the personal update, and thanks for carrying on. I hope you and your (now ex-)wife remain on good terms, and I hope she appreciates the work you have done, and are doing, for the sanity of the world and the sake of good science. If she doesn’t, we do.
/Mr Lynn

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