Motomania

Guest Post by Willis Eschenbach

Today was all about motor sports. Mike and I started by taking the bikes for a spin. Unfortunately, in my haste to go riding I didn’t check the tires on the BMW, and the front tire was quite low. As a result, the sucker didn’t steer at all correctly. It wanted to wander all around the lane, and it pushed back against the turns. It was a nightmare to drive, and I couldn’t see what was wrong. The only way I could control it was by diving into the turns with my shoulders and letting the bike stay roughly upright … it was ugly and scary.

So when we got to Sweetheart’s Cafe (not the one sung about by Cold Chisel) we swapped bikes. His bike, the Triumph, rode like a dream. On the way home, Mike diagnosed the problem, and we got the tire pumped up. I’ll tell you … I won’t make that mistake again …

By then it was mid-morning. We decided to break out the various wheels and ride the “Dragon’s Back”, which is a couple of long mounds of dirt in the neighborhood. Here’s the armory we were riding:

In the front is a Segway X2. The middle is a Honda four-wheeler ATV, and in the back is a dirt bike. Now, I’d never ridden either a Segway or an ATV, so that part was really interesting for me. Always something new to learn. The Segway was a huge surprise. It had those giant tires, and it went up and along the Dragon’s Back no problem …

I was surprised at how powerful it was, and how fast it would go. After about a half hour, I was burning up and over the top of the hill. It was huge amounts of fun. I could see that it could be practical for urban commuting.  However, I was also cognizant that the guy who bought Segway from the original investors died by going over an oceanside cliff … driving a Segway …

The four-wheeler, on the other hand, scared the excrement out of me. It felt like it was always on the verge of tipping over, and it had a thumb-throttle that was hard to hold steady when going up and down the Dragon’s Back. Not at all comfortable. But just to put me in my place, Mike’s ten-year-old grandson Mendoza lives full-time with Mike and his wife, and that kid is the acknowledged king of the four-wheeler. He blazed over the course, catching air on the jumps, and viewed my pathetic attempts with poorly concealed contempt … sigh. Dang kids anyways, get off my lawn!

Then in the afternoon we went for a drive in the hills, but not just any old drive. Did I mention to you that Mike drives race cars? Of course he does, every good man has to feed the rat, and the rat lives on adrenaline. Anyhow, through some racing friends he’d arranged for us to use a 2006 Shelby Cobra 450 horsepower (336 kW) concept car for the day … it’s what’s called an “open top roadster”, or an “OTR” in the trade. No roof, out in the sunshine.

I don’t think I’ve ever gone through corners as fast as I did today. I had no desire to drive the car, I was so happy to be a passenger. I don’t think we broke any speed laws or went over the middle white line … but we went on tight, windy roads and did 80 kph through corners marked “35 kph” as though the car were held to the ground by suction. And of course, at 100 kph the Cobra is only in second gear …

It would have been embarrassing if you had seen me in the car. I was bouncing up and down in my seat, and laughing, and clapping my hands. The raw unbridled power was astonishing. Before the ride, Mike had said the engine was naturally aspirated (no turbocharger). I said “So there’s no lag when you hit the gas?” He said no, no turbo windup, wait and see. So we’re blasting down a straightaway at maybe 80 kph, and he punches it. You’ve heard the expression “The engine roared”? This was a Bengal Tiger letting loose, my head slammed back against the headrest, and the car rocketed forwards.

And I was laughing and screaming, “I see want you mean about responsive” I managed in between my laughter. I clapped my hands and said “Do it again, Dad, do it again!” like I was six years old …

We ended up on a hill overlooking the coast … what a gorgeous part of the world this is.

However, all too soon the ride was over. The Cobra has gone back to its owner unscathed, it’s back in its cage until it’s let out to roar again, and I’m back at home. Mike’s shooting pool with his grandson, his granddaughter is waddling in and out of my room with her diaper sagging. She’s a gorgeous little girl, 1/4 Choiseul, 1/4 Iowa, 1/2 i-Kiribati … all’s well with the world.

Tomorrow, it’s the big bikes again, this time with full tires. I look at all of this fossil fuel consumption as doing my part to stave off the next ice age … and as insurance, to expiate my sins of commission, sins of omission, and sins of emission, as penance for my eco-crimes  I rode the Segway for an extra ten minutes to balance everything out.

So let me invite you all to keep rolling, dear friends, in whatever way and at whatever speed you prefer … life only comes once,

w.