Quelle Surprise! The #COP21 climate talks are deadlocked

From the “Josh predicted this” department, see stage 5.


As Predicted: Paris Climate Talks Deadlocked

India’s crucial role at the climate change talks in Paris has once again been underlined by a high-level outreach by the United States, including a call to Prime Minister Modi from President Barack Obama who hopes to cement his legacy with an ambitious global agreement on curbing global warming.

Obama reached out to Modi on Tuesday in an attempt to break the deadlock at the climate summit, where the responsibility of developing countries such as India in tackling rising global temperatures has been a sticking point.

He spoke to Modi hours before US Secretary for State John Kerry and environment minister Prakash Javadekar held a 45-minute meeting in Paris.

Sources said the meeting between Kerry and Javadekar failed to reach a compromise on a number of issues, including redefining the differentiation between the rich and the developing world in “changed circumstances” and a proposed review and verification of climate action plans.

Obama’s move was apparently aimed at breaking the ice and resolving contentious issues before the first draft of the ministerial consultations was released on Wednesday. Sources said an agreement in Paris will not be possible without India and the US converging on a range of issues. A lot is at stake for both countries as the Paris climate agreement on limiting carbon emissions and financing cleaner energy will have a far reaching impact on their economies.

Obama, who faces opposition to his clean energy plan in the Republican-controlled US Congress – both chambers – and multiple states, wants to leave the White House next year with a “climate legacy” that protects American interests. This could mean India losing out on cheaper cleaner technologies, having to pay in future to the global climate fund and contending with an intrusive review mechanism for climate action plans.

“Both leaders underscored their strong commitment to address issues related to climate change being discussed in the Paris conference through constructive engagement, without impeding the progress of developing countries,” a statement from the Prime Minister’s Office said on the conversation between Modi and Obama.

The White House, in a statement, said both leaders emphasised their “personal commitment to secure a strong climate change agreement” and their interest in the two countries “working together to achieve a successful outcome”.

The conversations between India and the US are important for forging a deal in Paris that is acceptable to all while maintaining a balance between the interests of the two countries. India and the US have taken divergent stands on key issues.

“There was very little agreement on most issues,” a negotiator from a developing country said.

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Joel O’Bryan
December 10, 2015 7:11 am

Cue the Pope!!! I guess we will get real Pontificating now!!!
Kerry just needs to offer a few more Billion USD that will never be forthcoming from the US Congress.

Reply to  Joel O’Bryan
December 10, 2015 7:32 am

I think your estimate is a little ‘light’.
“Our preliminary assessment indicates that the implementation of our climate change pledges (the INDCs) up to 2030 would cost approximately $2.5 trillion”

Reply to  Joel O’Bryan
December 10, 2015 1:14 pm

Neville Chamberlain: “Peace in our time!”
Bill Clinton: “North Korea has agreed – no nukes! (Where’s all da white women at?)”
B. Hussein Obama: “We’re all gonna , ahhhhm … survive another 100 years! It’s who we are.”

Reply to  Joel O’Bryan
December 10, 2015 1:24 pm

You have to give it to Josh:
The 7 stages of Climate hysteria – UN Climate Talks. The Ritual.
As usual, it’s spot on!

December 10, 2015 7:12 am

It’s true! It’s true! The crown has made it clear.
The climate must be perfect all the year.
A law was made a distant moon ago here:
July and August cannot be too hot.
And there’s a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot.
The winter is forbidden till December
And exits March the second on the dot.
By order, summer lingers through September
In Camelot.
Camelot! Camelot!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Camelot, Camelot
That’s how conditions are.
The rain may never fall till after sundown.
By eight, the morning fog must disappear.
In short, there’s simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.
Camelot! Camelot!
I know it gives a person pause,
But in Camelot, Camelot
Those are the legal laws.
The snow may never slush upon the hillside.
By nine p.m. the moonlight must appear.
In short, there’s simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.

Reply to  firetoice2014
December 10, 2015 7:49 am

Bravo. Evokes the Monty Pythons 😉

Alan Robertson
Reply to  Michael Palmer
December 10, 2015 8:13 am

Bravo. Evokes Richard Harris in Camelot… and my high school sweetie coming out of the theater afterwards, daubing her eyes.

Reply to  Michael Palmer
December 10, 2015 11:57 am
Reply to  firetoice2014
December 10, 2015 9:38 am

Fantastic. I’d like to use this. How can i give you proper credit?

Reply to  Steven James Piet
December 10, 2015 11:55 am

The comment is the lyrics from the song “Camelot”, from the play and movie of the same name, composed by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe. I neither deserve nor need credit. You can listen to Richard Burton sing it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h7E5rtnFH4
Ed Reid

Reply to  firetoice2014
December 10, 2015 1:18 pm

That piece from Camelot works perfectly as it was originally written.
The previous song, “I Wonder What The King is Doing Tonight?” inspired me to make some modifications when ClimateGate broke and was rattling Jones and company:
I Wonder What the Team is Doing Tonight
I know what you skeptics are thinking tonight,
As home in pajamas you ponder
All of you smiling in secret delight
You stare at our emails and wonder
The media’s leaning our way
But we still hear the blogosphere say:
I wonder what the team is doing tonight?
What database are they misconstruing tonight?
The emails at the U have finally seen the light
They show how many tricks we used to cause fright
How go the mass deletions
Just before investigations
Are illegally politically prepared?
Well, I’ll tell you what the team is doing tonight:
We’re scared!
We’re scared!
You mean that a Team so skeptic-wary
Who tricked up the graphs to make them scary
Answers the phone in terror and distress?
A Team who likes skeptics just to pick on
‘Cause they can spot our hockey stick-on
Faces the media petrified with fright?
You mean that appalling clamoring
That sounds like a hard drive hammering
Is merely deleting declines of degrees?
You wonder what the Team is wishing tonight?
We’re wishing they weren’t successful fishing tonight!
What occupies our time while waiting for the axe?
We’re watching even friends now launching attacks
And oh, the Harry_Read_Me,
That said “fake the temps if need be”
That expose that we’ve been crooked, crude and dumb
Well, I’ll tell you what the Team is feeling tonight:
We’re numb!
We shake!
We quail! We quake!
And that’s what the Team is doing
===|==============/ Keith DeHavelle

Gunga Din
Reply to  firetoice2014
December 10, 2015 3:05 pm

Dumbledore sang that, right?
Pity he can’t use the Eldar Wand to bring the fools back to reality so they stop meddling with the Muggles. (That is “us” living in the real world.)

Reply to  firetoice2014
December 10, 2015 7:37 pm

I thought “Camelot” — words and music — fit perfectly in the Climate Audit Thread on Canadian Climate Science Presentations to “Le Dauphin” — so I added a reference there.
Forgive me for what I have done for I know not what the climate wrought!

Reply to  firetoice2014
December 11, 2015 2:06 am

Very well done. I can still see Richard Harris’ eyes raking over one of those Redgrave women while he ‘sang’ that song.

Reply to  firetoice2014
December 11, 2015 1:42 pm

Well played!

December 10, 2015 7:25 am

Maybe India feels that addressing rampant poverty is a more pressing concern than measures to combat global warming that in the end will cost trillions and accomplish absolutely nothing.

Reply to  kamikazedave
December 10, 2015 8:03 am

….but not as pressing as sending a rocket to Mars.

Mark from the Midwest
December 10, 2015 7:28 am

While I generally look at politicians from India with the same disdain that I look at most politicians I think Modi is a pretty smart guy. Modi knows Obama is a just an empty facade, and thinks even less of Kerry. I suspect that Modi will take this as an opportunity to lecture Obama on “reality.” Of course Obama and his minions, being locked into a world of their own making, will issue a statement such as “we have talked and see practical solutions going forward” … when in fact the political insiders at the WH have a notion of a practical solution as “blame it all on India.”

Reply to  Mark from the Midwest
December 10, 2015 8:10 pm

I don’t care who gets blamed, or why they do. As long as India refuses to sign up, this Paris UN Climate Change hoax is D-E-A-D in the water.

Reply to  Trevor
December 11, 2015 12:51 am

I don’t think it’s dead. It’s 4am Eastern on Friday. I will wager that “Mr. Iran Deal For My Legacy at Any Cost” is going to add to his legacy this weekend.
===|==============/ Keith DeHavelle

December 10, 2015 7:28 am


December 10, 2015 7:28 am

The breakthrough will be celebrated ecstatically, including by overjoyed and breathless reporters and newscasters. It will be for a 0.025 deg C reduction by 2100 instead of the 0.05 deg reduction target, and it will cost trillions of dollars and millions of jobs.

December 10, 2015 7:32 am

Oh what a surprise two lovely black eyes, now go home the war on terrorism is far more important than your fairy land of nod. Begone I say, begone.

December 10, 2015 7:36 am

The “breakthrough” will be a set of hollow pledges on money and coal sector cuts along the lines of China’s Wait and See at the End type pledge.

December 10, 2015 7:40 am

If there is an agreement, will it be on ‘an honor system’ to implement or will be ‘enforceable by somebody’ if a country fails to implement?
Looks like a possible stalemate which defaults to the final statement of the Paris meeting being something like, ‘We will endeavor to persevere to meet again and try again.

December 10, 2015 7:42 am

In Canadian news they just announced that one of the reason why many coutrny doesnt want to sign is that they found out in the text that Human right is an option. So in 2009 they were trying to restrict even more poor country and this years they are putting human right has an option…. Bravo !!!

December 10, 2015 7:44 am
December 10, 2015 7:45 am

Send the marines.
US president thinks-Climate is worse than IS.

Reply to  oppti
December 10, 2015 7:48 am

If US will give something to India I would recommend You to give them: The clean air act!

Phillip Bratby
December 10, 2015 7:48 am

I predict they will agree on an agreement to fix a time and a location for the next meeting when they will put forward proposals to be agreed at the next meeting. And so on ad infinitum.

Reply to  Phillip Bratby
December 10, 2015 8:27 am

COP21 is already slated next November in Morocco.

Reply to  Karl W. Braun
December 10, 2015 9:10 am

Did you mean COP22?

December 10, 2015 7:59 am

Okay, okay you win. It will be $900 billion of U.S. middle class dollars and the keys to Fort Knox for India. And the low island countries are not part of the deal. Now can we set up the stage and start the worshiping event for the media poodles?

Reply to  RCS
December 10, 2015 8:16 am

WOW, I’m speechless !!! Somebody store this ( before the hard drives crash ) so we can throw it in every Eco-Terrorists face !!!

Reply to  RCS
December 10, 2015 8:22 am

So, why is this little item not at the top of WUWT page 1? We need to get this out there before he starts back pedaling. It’s probably too late. Probably all of the truffles he has been eating went to his head.
Move along, folks. There is nothing to see here.

Tom O
Reply to  RCS
December 11, 2015 8:35 am

He said it was pointless if the developing nations did nothing. I was disgusted at the misrepresentation of what was said. I think Kerry’s an idiot, this whole UN process is bullcrap aimed at creating a world government, but I think misrepresenting what he said while posting the actual statement is anal. Then again, how many people probably actually listened to what Kerry said. Odd, when he ran for president he sounded intelligent, Guess Obama should have hired the same speech writers when he appointed him SoS.

December 10, 2015 8:05 am

Are these guys deluded or what ? Suddenly assuming godlike powers to change the temperature of the Earth at a whim ?

Joe Crawford
December 10, 2015 8:07 am

They don’t need an agreement. If they just moved the conference each year to another undeveloped country, the income from the 40 some odd thousand attendees would improve the host country’s economy much better than all of the false pledges. That way, by the time they finally figure out it was all just a ruse they will have at least have lifted several dozen undeveloped countries out of poverty.

December 10, 2015 8:08 am

but at least they all went to nice restaurants and hotels !!

Reply to  ratuma
December 10, 2015 8:13 am

I imagine that the vin plonk was over 100 euros a bottle from a year when the climate was just right for the grapes.

Reply to  ratuma
December 10, 2015 8:33 am

Don’t forget the many shopping opportunities Paris offers , after all it is the run up to Christmas .

December 10, 2015 8:10 am

The only world leader that doesn’t realize that Obama is powerless at the COP21 lovefest ( because of the U.S. congress ) , is Obama himself !!!

Alan Robertson
Reply to  Marcus
December 10, 2015 8:27 am

Oh, he knows. That’s why he selected John Kerry as his front man. Having the world’s biggest buffoon running around and braying loudly, deflects a lot of attention.

December 10, 2015 8:14 am

Wait! A breakthrough!! A crucial breakthrough!!! It’s coming, I tell ya.

December 10, 2015 8:15 am

What if a country refuses to take back its used politicians after the meeting?
We can store nuclear waste for a long time, but not politicians.

Reply to  simple-touriste
December 10, 2015 4:04 pm

France has gone through so much over the years, yet still exists, but no country could survive that. Send them all home with some lovely parting gifts.

FJ Shepherd
December 10, 2015 8:17 am

All India wants is a few trillion dollars. What IS the problem? The US pays trillions just on interest each year on its national debt. Printing more money is fun – just do it.

Reply to  FJ Shepherd
December 10, 2015 8:31 am

Its not just the money , it is also that they want to be able to judge if they did with the money what they promised to do without outside review , and the right to ask for ever more ‘when’ it turns out it was not enough. And how can you turn them down , after all think of the planet.

December 10, 2015 8:23 am

a high-level outreach by the United States, including a call…
Modi…can you hang on a second….I’m about to T-off

December 10, 2015 8:23 am

Sometimes it seems like you’ve fallen through a wormhole into some bizarre sc-fi-scape where all of this has been caused by nothing more than some dopey nugget of pseudoscience. Wake me when it’s over …

December 10, 2015 8:27 am

“Obama [..] wants to leave the White House next year with a “climate legacy” that protects American interests.”

He has some pretty strange ideas about what American interests are.

December 10, 2015 8:27 am

‘contending with an intrusive review mechanism for climate action plans.’
much more likely is the one the Chinese will use and only one they would ever sign up to , which is ‘we will review or own stuff , no one else will have any input and you will have to just trust us’

Robert Ballard
December 10, 2015 8:44 am

As we have been frequently reminded the campaign for “climate justice” revolves around the payment to some of the parties of an award for damages brought on by the premeditated actions of the industrialized west. The article linked points out that after all the trouble of agreeing to mitigation and reductions there is still, ” … compensation for damage because of disasters induced by climate change.” to be settled. This is the central issue: the involuntary transfer of wealth from the industrial west to certain “developing” nations to achieve “climate justice”.

December 10, 2015 8:45 am

CAGW should use their computer models to get a climate deal on the table. They are so good at it. And I bet there will be a 97% consensus. (Sarc)
I’m surprised that India and China are standing in the way of this deal. We could all share in the grinding poverty that many nations enjoy, and keep them there. N.Korea is a shining example of this, why they are so focused on co2 emissions that at night you can clearly see all the wasted energy from S. Korea by the lights, while the frugal north is dark. (more sarc)
Reminds me of a cartoon in France before the French Revolution of people lined up holding up their money bags, willingly paying increased taxes….. as if.

John M
Reply to  rishrac
December 10, 2015 8:56 am

“CAGW should use their computer models to get a climate deal on the table”
I bet you think you’re joking.

Reply to  John M
December 10, 2015 9:08 am

Wow. No other word.

Reply to  John M
December 10, 2015 2:25 pm

Well I was… that’s even funnier…

December 10, 2015 8:51 am

Deadlocked? That’s strange because last night I was told by the BBC that the E.U. was prepared to put together a package of “sweeteners” to bring in developing nations.
Sweeteners is the newspeak for what were formerly known as “bribes”.
When you get people to feign support for your position by offering them a shed-load of cash.
When “saving the world” is the purported goal then bribery is perfectly wonderful. Even bribery that is conducted using money extorted from poor Europeans by rich unelected bureaucrats.
Everything is morally justified, providing that it is in service of the greatest sc*m in history.
Substitute that asterix with either an “a” or a “u”, according to personal preference.

Matt Bergin
Reply to  indefatigablefrog
December 10, 2015 9:11 am

Only problem is the UN have run into the inevitable socialist problem of a lack of “other peoples money”. You wouldn’t want them to spend their own money would you? If we cut off the funding we can finally compost this pile of manure they have been shoveling for the last 50 years.

December 10, 2015 9:19 am

This is usually the point at which we hand over cash.

Bryan A
December 10, 2015 10:21 am

Both the US and UK need to get together and declare “developing nation status”, then start “developing” viable cost effective replacements. Personally I don’t care where my energy comes from so long as the cost per unit doesn’t increase

Bryan A
Reply to  Bryan A
December 10, 2015 10:23 am

and the reliability doesn’t decrease

Jeff (FL)
December 10, 2015 11:51 am

India is one thing, then there’s China …
India seems to be playing the gamer but China really doesn’t give a damn. 🙂

December 10, 2015 11:56 am

“Vivian Balakrishnan of Singapore told the conference on Tuesday that the countries are “yet to place their final positions” on differentiation, indicating the issue was the biggest sticking point of the talks.
India and its partners in BASIC (China, Brazil and South Africa) has clearly identified differentiation in all “elements to be the heart” of the Paris agreement.
“Bitter wind blowing and loss of trust between countries as ambition was missing from Paris agreement,” the WWF said in a statement.”
The difference is being called differentiation now. The climate agony of the soft fat cats versus the desire to lift their people out of poverty.

John M
December 10, 2015 12:16 pm

I think I now see the end game…put in a more “ambitious” target that’s even less attainable and dwclare vicory for this conference. That then justifies meeting the next time to make sure we’re “on track” which of course, we won’t be. Hence, send more money!

Reply to  John M
December 10, 2015 2:30 pm

Tick tock, the window of opportunity is closing. The world has a fever and the delegates partied as the world burns oh oh oh… by a 1/100 of a degree. (sarc)

December 10, 2015 12:26 pm

It is incredibly ironic that while the world leaders babble about bs, the first demonstration of the future of global energy has been successful, the Wendlestein 7-X. Pure poetry and incredible beauty of real computer modelling.

Jeff (FL)
Reply to  Tony
December 10, 2015 12:47 pm

How did this get past the German Greens? 🙂

Matt Bergin
Reply to  Tony
December 10, 2015 12:50 pm

So they made a plasma. It is still a long way before they will be able to generate more energy than it takes to fire it for a split second. No were near ready for prime time. We should be building L.F.T.R.’s we can build them today.

Reply to  Matt Bergin
December 10, 2015 1:30 pm

My money is on the molten salt reactor – China has a crash program going, Transatomic Power will have a prototype reactor running in a few years and Terrestrial Energy is also in the race. A molten salt reactor can burn Thorium, although no one wants to do that because it has proliferation issues and, frankly,everyone would rather burn nuclear wastes and get rid of that headache, and there is no need for any fuel other than nuclear wastes and uranium, assuming we need power for only a milion years

December 10, 2015 2:11 pm

Three Cheers for Narendra Damodardas Modi Prime Minister of India, and the great Indian elephant blocking the road to COP21 agreement.

Sun Spot
December 10, 2015 2:24 pm

Josh, you forgot the intervening frames of wine pate and song as the true believers bask in the green-wash.

December 10, 2015 3:28 pm

Oh, if Obama only had a brain. Or some ethics

December 10, 2015 3:32 pm

the “sweeteners” have turned sour!
of course it was a sham…but it made headlines worldwide, so it achieved its purpose:
11 Dec: BusinessStandardIndia: Nitin Sethi: Coalition led by EU and US a sham?
On Wednesday evening the US joined a Coalition of High Ambition along with EU and other developing countries, announcing it as a group of more than 90 rich and poor countries demanding an ambitious climate change deal at Paris…But, within a day the coalition unravelled.
***One of the founding members of the so-called Coalition of High Ambition, Marshall Islands confirmed on record to Business Standard that the coalition actually has only 15 countries on board at the moment.***
There was more to unravel about the coalition in the midnight hours between Wednesday and Thursday. When the closed door meeting organised by the French hosts, called Indaba, began after midnight the US took a hard-line position against setting the global goal of the Paris agreement to keeping temperature rise below 1.5 degree Celsius by the turn of the century. In public the US, as well as EU, had said that they were working to accommodate this fervent desire of many developing countries…
Then, in another direct attack on the demands of the small island and other vulnerable countries the US for the first time formally put on record that it would not permit these nations to ever seek compensation or file liability claims for permanent loss and damage caused by climate change…
Business Standard accessed the proposal shared by the US in written with some countries present in the closed door meeting.
The note reads…READ TEXT

December 10, 2015 3:38 pm

10 Dec: BusinessStandardIndia: Nitin Sethi: Paris talks drag, threaten to stretch beyond Friday
Union environment, forests and climate change minister Prakash Javadekar and his team had a second bilateral meeting with the US secretary of state, John Kerry as differentiation and transparency continued to be bone of contention between the two…
Two other developing countries in the G77+China group of 134 nations said that their heads of states too had been feeling the pressure from developed country partners with national capitals getting calls. “This is high stakes, there are political decisions for sure to be taken but there are serious concerns of arm-twisting as well as manipulation at this stage,” he said.
Several negotiators Business Standard spoke to from the group said the hosts were trying to narrow down differences on differentiation and climate finance before they produce the draft for Thursday. “This has triggered the hectic bilaterals that the US and others are holding. ***US is sticking to its guns on demolishing the firewall and providing a strong signal to its industry that its created investment opportunities through this deal,” another negotiator said. “The talk of decarbonisation as a long term goal and symmetry across developed and developing countries on transparency issues is part of that signal to markets that the US is seeking,” he added.
“Well if you see this is a deal the US so desperately requires as legacy for outgoing President Obama and of course the French hosts would want a deal at all costs. But when you say a deal at all costs, you ignore the fact that someone surely is going to pay the price for it. Developing countries need to be clear what is the price they pay and if they gain anything in the process,” he added…
The chances of the meeting closing on Friday 6 pm Paris time had dimmed.

December 10, 2015 3:48 pm

Vasudha Foundation: Letter from People of India to COP21 and Friends in the Developed World
Dear Friends,
There’s no light in our village. We use firewood to cook.
We have been told that this is affecting your future.
We hear that there is a big assembly in Paris where our future is being discussed. All world leaders are deciding the fate of the planet. We hope they will keep in mind our present predicament while deciding about our future…
We live in Arunachal Pradesh, the north-eastern part of India. Our government promised us more than twenty years ago that we would soon get electricity. After all more than half of the hydro electricity potential of India is in our state. After more than two decades of promises and efforts the projects are yet to come up…
We are forest dwellers of Jharkhand. Our children spend time with cattle. They wander with them throughout the day in search of food. There is no school or road in our village. They say there are coal deposits here. Many years ago we heard that soon there will be coal mining and we would get jobs. That coal will be used for generating electricity. We thought that finally we would see the light that the village had never seen. Those plans have now been stopped because coal mining will affect forests. We have also been told that burning this coal will harm you. Now we don’t know what our government will do. Please let us know if our leaders have promised you that they will convince us to live without electricity. We are sure that you will not accept such an arrangement…
We are tribals from Rajasthan, the fascinating land of forts and deserts. Many of you might have visited our state…After taking you for camel rides and giving you a glimpse of our culture, music and dance we go back to our villages. Our women walk miles to fetch drinking water. The nearest hospital is half a day’s walk. Our life stands still after sunset. We have waited three decades for a nuclear plant that was to be set up near our village. We have no other hydro or thermal source, so nuclear was our only hope. Now that project is scrapped. Our government has not been able to tie up technology or fuel for the nuclear plant. Also some tourists told us that this was unsafe. So now we are safe but sad because we don’t know whether we will ever get electricity.
The other day one foreign tourist told us that wind and sun can produce electricity. Our government now has a plan to instal solar power plant in our village and a wind power unit in the neighboring village. We are happy. But they say that this electricity is costly. They also said that they can give us electricity only for a few hours when the sun is shining or the wind is blowing. We are excited but anxious because we don’t know if we will be able to pay for that electricity. There is now more uncertainty in our lives. We were used to managing our lives somehow for centuries…
Is it true that in order to provide you electricity your government used all that it could, coal, gas, hydro, nuclear? Do you have any problem with us getting the same convenience? How can it be? We live on the same planet…
Our government tells us that in your country one person consumes more than ten times the electricity than one person does in our country. We don’t understand these comparisons because we consume no electricity at all…
We hope to hear from you as our government has promised to provide us electricity in the next few years. You can write to us at the following Signed,
Common man from India

high treason
December 11, 2015 2:48 am

Four Climate Scientists.
In the spirit of that great skit, 4 Yorkeshiremen Need 4 people with Yorkeshire accents. Tried to do it as a monologue-totally fails with the single voice.
What a glorious Paris day
Nothin like the warm autumn sun
With the plants bloomin’ an ‘ all
Who’d have thought all the years ago, we’d be here in Paris at the climate talks, drinking Chateaux Mouiton Rothschild?
What with climate change an’ all
And global warmin’
And extreme weather
Or whatever
In spite of failing models.
We never ‘ad a computer
Best we could manage was an old slide rule.
But we did good science in them days, though we were poor.
Because we were poor. My old prof used to say to us-“money doesn’t buy you good science.”
He were right
Aye’ he was
We did better science then, we had noth’n. We worked out of a tiny, tumbledown old lab at the back of the campus.
Lab, you were lucky to have a lab. We used to work out of a backpacker’s van with stink’n matresses on the floor.
You were lucky to have a van, we used to work out of a garbage bin.
We used to dream of working out of a garbage bin. It would have been a palace to us. We used to work out of a vagrant’s cave near the rubbish dump. Used to get woke up every morning by drunk, mentally deranged hobos vomiting all over the place’
When I say lab, it was a janitor’s room with girlie pictures all over the walls, but it were lab to us.
We were evicted from our backpacker’s van, had to work out of the toilet bowl.
You were lucky to have a toilet bowl, there were 150 of us working out of a kitty litter tray in the middle of the road.
Cardboard kitty litter tray?
You were lucky. We worked for 6 months put of a matchbox. We did a study to show sea level rise by 2100. Typist made an error and 20 centimetres became twenty inches. We ‘ad 50,000 citations and scored an article in the local rag.
Lightweights. Our fund’n was a mere sixpence a year. Our report on sea level rise said twenty feet. We had 500,000 citations and got to have lunch with the mayor.
Well of course you got it all wrong. We used to do our calculations out of the kitty litter tray, memorize them when kitty came over and just pray that the cat had not eaten any cheese. Our study said twenty metres sea level rise and we ‘ad no fund’n whatsoever. We received 50 million citations and shared in a nobel prize.
Right, we used to get in to the janitor’s room first thing in the morning, clean the girlie pictures. We had to pay the journals to publish our work,and we came up with 20 metre sea level rises by 2050, We had 5 billion citations, eaps of further fund’n thrown our way. We got to have an invite to the White House for dinner with President Obama and the Pope, got to address the UN an’ we each received three Nobel prizes.
‘An you tell the young folk of t’day that.
‘An they’ll believe every word of it.
Say it to yourself in your head- improve it and for them 4 with their Yorkeshire accents (Lord Monckton and Mark Steyn, can you help out?) get it on YouTube.

high treason
December 11, 2015 3:04 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlIXn0r0AY8 the best version pf 4 Yorkeshiremen on which 4 climate scientists is based. Needs some work, but the fate of ‘th’ world rests upon it.

December 11, 2015 6:23 am

By hook or by crook, an agreement of some sort will be signed at this Paris conference and it will be binding. It won’t be worth the paper it is written on, but nevertheless, these climate change charlatans are gong to succeed after two decades of trying.
Just get ready for the educational indoctrination that will then take place … CO2 is pollution and it only has adverse consequences. Texts books will have to be edited to make sure no pupils learn that CO2 is plant food and is actually the elixir of life.

December 11, 2015 6:57 am

Speaking of “quelle surprise!”, no one is more surprised than I that we should now be witnessing America’s first black President attempting to browbeat the sub continent into eternal energy poverty using nothing more than a thoroughly discredited and always lunatic fringe unsupported pseudoscientific hypothesis. Interesting times.

Bruce Cobb
December 11, 2015 7:26 am

Just as expected, they’ve extended the talks for another day (at least). China is playing the brinksmanship game. Time to start watering the document down to a meaningless, toothless deal, which will be hailed as a “huge success”, with “much more work to be done”.

December 11, 2015 12:41 pm

And CO2 (as measured at Mauna Loa) keeps on rising at the same rate.
Really, Malthusian acolytes, identify for me all the ‘agreement’ points obvious in the actual CO2 record.
No? Thought so.

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