Global Warming, er, Climate Change is omnipotent – it has now destroyed April Fools Day

Dr. Roy Spencer has found something quite stunning.

Global Warming is Destroying April Fools Day

stop-global-warmingHe writes:

For the last few days I’ve been trying to think of some crazy, almost-believable angle to illustrate the absurdity of the current global warming movement.

Post it on April 1st, and say “Ha! Fooled ya! The warmists didn’t really say that…but I made you think they did!”

Alas, the global warming alarmists have already used up all of the crazy ideas themselves. As far as they are concerned, global warming causes everything.

Now, as the new 2014 IPCC report is revealed, we find that a lack of warming for 15+ years has the experts even more concerned than ever. So, the greater the amount of good news on the global warming front, the greater their hand-wringing.

How can we make fun of them when they are already parodying themselves?? It’s disheartening.

So, I would like to add an item to that long list of things that global warming is destroying…

…global warming is destroying April Fools Day.


In other news, Trenberth’s missing heat or maybe Cook’s  four hiroshima bombs per second finally had an effect:


h/t to The HockeySchtick


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April 1, 2014 3:33 pm

Off topic early in thread, but heres Bloomburg bemoaning a baseball stadium that will be under water by 2100. Is it too late to cancel my season tickets?

george e. conant
April 1, 2014 3:40 pm

Tipping point CO2 threshold to cause Earths’ axial tilt to tilt some more or less with medium certainty. Also imminently pressing concern is the rotation of the earth will stop and reverse direction. Gravity will fail and everything not secured to bedrock will float to the edge of space. Cats will bark. Computer models will speak Klingon. Elvis sightings will intensify…..

Donald A. Neill
April 1, 2014 3:41 pm

Sadly, this also is not a joke.

April 1, 2014 3:43 pm

I think I recognize the type that would make this joke. And if I thought there was anything going on under the surface with these people, it would encourage me.
But I don’t think there is. A joke like this – I think that’s all they got.
They natural release of humor requires swimming in deeper water/having self-awareness and that’s not them.
[“The” natural release of humor? Mod]

April 1, 2014 3:45 pm

Climate Change will lead to Calendar Change. Mark. My. Words. It’s all gone Pete Tong.

April 1, 2014 3:51 pm
April 1, 2014 3:53 pm

URGENT MESSAGE! IPCC computer models, which have been surprisingly accurate, now predict that within the next few hours lightening will strike all battery storage systems used by farmers in grain mills, causing an immediate current reversal. This event will un-grind more than 70 million sacks of wheat flour, and before farmers can get the sacks open, the wheat will be too green to harvest!

Gunga Din
April 1, 2014 3:53 pm

I remember seeing that list a few years ago.
I didn’t look at it that closely.
Is record cold on the list?
It should be. No fooling!

April 1, 2014 3:57 pm

It’s those mindfart’s that cause perpetual warming.!

Robert of Ottawa
April 1, 2014 4:08 pm

Oh what a fun game!
AGW will cause …
Snow in my back yard
A descending night
My cooking of a meal
Number Watch is a very good place to check in occasionally.

April 1, 2014 4:15 pm

Many tech bloggers absolutely hate April fools day. It is a day that is useless for reporting on the high tech / computer industry because of the mixture of nonsense, or rather April fools jokes, as nonsense is what warmests produce every day of the year. Fortunately for many tech bloggers today, they are busy traveling to the Microsoft Build conference which starts tomorrow:

Gary Pearse
April 1, 2014 4:33 pm

What is this Ship of Fools Day everyone is talking about? I heard the joke was performed by a crew from the U of NSW in Antarctic waters late last year and early this year. It was a gas. They are going to have a hard time besting this gag.

April 1, 2014 4:34 pm
April 1, 2014 4:35 pm

TobiasN, I am sorry for your loss.

April 1, 2014 4:35 pm

Report from IPCC’s April fools day conference in Yokohama by Marty Feldman

April 1, 2014 4:43 pm

That sound you hear is not the earth exploding. It is the sound of billions of skeptics breaking out in explosive laughter.

April 1, 2014 4:56 pm

This article links to Donna Quixote’s ” Updated list” of things caused by global warming.

Old England
April 1, 2014 5:00 pm

I thought this quote from ‘The Belgarian’ (p 396 paperback) very appropriate and worthy of passing on:
“There’s no rational explanation for their beliefs, so they’re free to speak without benefit of logic, untroubled by petty concerns such as truth or even plausibility.”
This is in reference to ‘religious fanatics’ but to me it sums up warmists and their unfounded, and thus ‘religious’ beliefs based solely on faith (or burning desire as the case may be), justified without concern for truth or plausibility, pretty accurately.

April 1, 2014 5:00 pm

Only 6 weeks or so away from the 3rd Adaptation of Futures Conference.
Only one of the many reasons I keep pushing the IPCC interest in social sciences, education, and action research. They really intend to implement desired policies without a research base. The research is observing the effects.

Cold in Wisconsin
April 1, 2014 5:02 pm

Human methane emissions to be regulated: every human to be fitted and required to wear an anal cork.

April 1, 2014 5:19 pm

Has anyone heard of the Norse explorer, Loof Lirpa, who is said to have found the Northwest Passage during an exceptionally ice-free summer around the turn of the previous millennium?

April 1, 2014 5:21 pm

When your credibility has sunk to the level of self-parody, it’s time to prepare for richly deserved oblivion.

Gary in Erko
April 1, 2014 5:23 pm

Global warming is causing earth to expand which is accelerating the earth’s rotational velocity. By the year 2197 scientists have calculated that days will shorten to 22 hours and 37 minutes and the length of the year will be 383 days.

 D C   
April 1, 2014 5:28 pm

No, it was the world that was fooled by climatologists, but not for much longer …
The argument that planets are still cooling off, or are somehow generating internal energy that maintains their existing temperature is not valid because …
(1) Every planet cools on its dark side at a rate which could easily have enabled it to cool right down (even in its core) to about the temperature supported by any external radiation. Venus cools about 5 degrees in 4 months, Earth cools by about 10 degrees in 12 hours etc. In other words, if the Sun existed but emitted no significant energy, it would appear that all planets in our Solar System could have cooled down close to absolute zero.
(2) So it must be energy from the Sun which is maintaining the existing temperatures on all planets and satellite moons, even down to their cores, and it must be doing so by raising the temperatures back up again by the amount equal to the cooling the night before. Why, for example, is the core of our Moon so much hotter than the surface ever is?
(3) Hence we require an explanation as to how the necessary energy gets into the lower troposphere, the surface and even below the surface of a planet or moon in order to maintain the current temperatures. In general, radiation from a colder atmosphere cannot actually add net thermal energy to a warmer surface and thus contribute to raising its temperature, because that would decrease entropy. This is established by the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
(4) The original NASA net energy budgets for Earth did not show radiative energy transfers by the atmosphere to the surface, but they then found that the radiation from the Sun alone does not explain the mean surface temperature when using Stefan-Boltzmann calculations. Such calculations are inappropriate anyway, because what is effectively “the surface” is a very thin layer (let’s say 1cm thick) and about 70% of this thin 1cm layer is transparent water. A black or gray body is not transparent by definition, and so S-B should not be applied to a thin 1cm layer of transparent water. The mean temperature of the ocean thermocline (all of which is absorbing the solar radiation but not back radiation) is about 8 to 10 degrees below the mean surface temperature.
(5) Whilst for Earth climatologists and IPCC authors then claimed to overcome this shortage of direct solar radiation by adding back radiation, you cannot possibly imagine that this would “work out” on Venus. Such back radiation cannot participate in any raising of the temperature of the Venus surface and, even if you think it could, you would have to explain how it could be over 16,000 watts per square meter, somehow multiplying the energy in the incident solar radiation (20 watts per square meter at the surface) by nearly 1,000-fold. If you shine a light such that it reflects multiple times between parallel mirrors, do you create more energy? That is what the radiative greenhouse conjecture is implying can happen with radiation back and forth between the surface and the atmosphere.
(6) Between the base of the nominal Uranus troposphere and the TOA there is a mean thermal gradient which is very close to the usual calculated value (for the “Dry adiabatic lapse rate”) which is the negative quotient of the acceleration due to gravity and the weighted mean specific heat of the gases. On Venus (as on Earth) the effective (environmental) lapse rate (thermal gradient) is reduced by about 25% to 35% by inter-molecular radiation between carbon dioxide molecules on Venus, and water molecules on Earth, together with some release of latent heat on Earth which may play a small part in producing the “wet adiabatic lapse rate” though not the major part. So, why is it so? Is it just a coincidence that the base of the nominal Uranus troposphere is 320K (hotter than Earth’s surface) which is just the right amount for the correct thermal gradient to exist in the 350Km of troposphere above, such that the temperature at the so-called radiating altitude is just right at around 60K? Likewise on Venus and other planets?

Steve Oregon
April 1, 2014 5:30 pm

KevinM says:…….” Bloomburg bemoaning a baseball stadium that will be under water by 2100.”
They were talking about the risky tax funded public-private partnership venture to build the stadium.
Their feasibility projection wasn’t so hot. The debt servicing against expected revenue
forecast the project to ultimately be under water by 2100 and in need of replacement.
Staff recommended approval, city council approved the project and then moved on to the next agenda item. Climate Smart Communities policy.
You see when the nitwits are in charge they screw up everything.

Alan Robertson
April 1, 2014 5:32 pm

Climate perplexed?
Here’s what to do…

April 1, 2014 5:33 pm

GoreBull Warning is the opposite of those patent medicines sold by the smooth-talking salesman. Is there anything Dr. Fleecem’s Magical Elixir can’t cure? Is there anything CAGW can’t cause? Come to think of it, “Dr. Gore’s Carbon Offsets” sound awfully like a Magical Elixir.

April 1, 2014 5:33 pm

Inverse proportionality law of warmism.
The noise level of alarmism increases as evidence decreases.

April 1, 2014 5:35 pm

global warming is destroying April Fools Day.

LOL! DO not forget to add it to the list. Arbor day is next as freezing people will cut down all the trees (see: Haiti) in order to stay warm when the windmills fail.

Alan Robertson
April 1, 2014 5:47 pm

News Flash!
Climate disruption to wipe out humanity by midnight!
Third World countries hardest hit

April 1, 2014 5:49 pm

The earth exploded and everyone died!
Why wasn’t I informed? Was it on the news?

 Doug C   
April 1, 2014 5:54 pm

The blog for genuine climate science discussion and a $5,000 reward …
See this blog for more detail, and feel free to discuss anything with me there. No spammers reproducing AGW “science” please – I know what they claim, OK?

April 1, 2014 5:55 pm

In other news…
Merges with field of Political Science instead
News at 11

April 1, 2014 5:58 pm
April 1, 2014 6:16 pm

“Tsunami waves up to 1.8 meters high struck the coast of Chile after the U.S. Geological Survey reported a magnitude 8.2 earthquake about 95 kilometers off the country’s northern coast.”

Alan Robertson
April 1, 2014 6:20 pm

clipe says:
April 1, 2014 at 5:58 pm
No fooling! Massive 8.0 (8.2?) earthquake off the coast of Chile.
There’s a lot of that going around. We’ve all heard of the latest SOCal quakes around LA and even the Yellowstone caldera has been shaking a bit. Here in central Oklahoma, we’ve had at least 27 quakes over magnitude 2.5 in the past two weeks.

April 1, 2014 6:34 pm

Thanks, A., Roy. 😉

April 1, 2014 6:37 pm

” Bloomburg bemoaning a baseball stadium that will be under water by 2100.”
show me a baseball stadium that hasn’t been torn down long before 90 years to make room for something else. where are those 90 year old stadium everyone flocks to?
the entire CAGW alarm is based on the idea that people are too stupid to get out of their own way, so they will gladly pay a tax to Al Gore and his cronies to do it for them.
After all, Al Gore invented CAGW, so it we pay him he will make it go away. Please Al, save us from the Bogeyman.

Reply to  ferdberple
April 2, 2014 7:47 am

– Fenway & Wrigley.

M Seward
April 1, 2014 6:58 pm

I hate to go all biblical, but since Noah has been coopted to the CAGW “Cause” it seems to me a far better explanation for CAGW and its latest burst of doomsaying is the story about the Tower of Babel. That said, I think if Solar 25 delivers what similar solar quiet times have delivered in the past then these loons are not babbling as they get closer to Heaven but closer to the Hell of global cooling and that pitchfork up the ass feeling that they were so horribly, horribly wrong. If history remembers them as mere fools they will be let off very, very lightly. I feel sorry for their kids. Who would want to advertise they studied under them at university.

April 1, 2014 7:02 pm

Well I’ve said this before, do not EVER try to parody these people, or political correctness in general. Ridicule, yes, but parody, no. No stupidity, no cruelty, no evil, is too extreme for them to try to actually do it. All parody does is get in the way of exposing their real evils as and when they attempt them. And they’ll hold up your parody and say “See, they’re telling lies.” Then see what a quagmire you’re in trying to explain to onlookers that, no, this was a parody, but, yes, that was really them being too stupid for words…

April 1, 2014 7:03 pm

I like…..

April 1, 2014 7:11 pm

on google news homepage, below the following link. google has related news for:
climate change denial – conspiracy theories – climate change
2 April: SMH: Peter Hannam: ‘Conspiracist’ climate change study withdrawn amid legal threats
Climate change academics say the decision by a publisher to retract their paper examining the links between conspiracy theorists and denial of global warming because of legal threats could have a “chilling effect” on research.
Frontiers in Psychology last month retracted the paper, Recursive fury: Conspiracist ideation in the blogosphere in response to research on conspiracist ideation “in light of a small number of complaints”, the Swiss-based journal said on its website.
It means that if a paper is published that the climate deniers don’t like the look of, they can bombard the journal with complaints or threats A year-long investigation “did not identify any issues with the academic and ethical aspects of the study,” it said. However, the probe found “the legal context (to be) insufficiently clear”.
The paper, though, is being carried by the website of the University of Western Australia (UWA), where one of its authors, cognitive scientist Stephan Lewandowsky, was based…
“Sadly, it has turned into a routine for outsiders with no scientific standing to approach, bully, or intimidate journals, editors, and academics,” said Professor Lewandowsky, now at the UK’s University of Bristol.
One person commenting on the Frontiers’ website asked for the ‘‘full details of the investigation,’’ saying the paper had been ‘‘derogatory and insulting’’ by naming people as conspiracy theorists who were ‘‘merely pointing out errors in the previous paper’’…
John Cook, a researcher at the University of Queensland and a co-author of the second paper, said the Frontiers’ decision to retract the work might have a “chilling effect” on research.
“It means that if a paper is published that the climate deniers don’t like the look of, they can bombard the journal with complaints or threats,” Mr Cook said.
“Knowing they have had success once might embolden them to try to retreat the strategy again.” (Mr Cook also helms the Skeptical Science website.)
Kim Heitman, a lawyer for the UWA, said the university had done its own risk analysis before publishing the paper online. “There’s no reason to take it down,” Mr Heitman said.
The university had also received complaints from some groups. “It’s quite relentless,” he said.
“There’s always a close interest in everything that Steve (Lewandowsky) does,” Mr Heitman said. “We are conscious that we are going to be targeted by people opposed to his works.”
The university, though, had also received plaudits from around the world for its decision to publish the paper.
“I couldn’t list them,” Mr Heitman said. “And I wouldn’t list them, having regard to the fact that anyone who issues a ‘thanks UWA’ will probably get their own enquiry.”

April 1, 2014 7:21 pm

new report – living in dreamland:
2 April: Fairfax Brisbane Times: Reuters: Far deeper emission cuts needed to curb climate change: draft IPCC report
The world will need far tougher curbs on greenhouse gases, by both developed nations and emerging economies, to keep global warming from exceeding a promised ceiling, a draft UN report shows.
Rich nations led by the United States would have to halve their emissions by 2030 from 2010 levels to keep warming below an agreed 2 degree Celsius ceiling above pre-industrial times, according to the draft obtained by Reuters.
***Asia, including China and India, would have to limit emissions to around 2010 levels by 2030 as part of a global shareout, a tough goal for countries that say they need to burn more fossil fuels to help end poverty…
The Berlin report about solving climate change follows an IPCC report about impacts of warming issued in Japan on Monday that said the world was in many cases ill-prepared for severe and perhaps irreversible change…
“The implications for all the big emitters are pretty stark,” said Alden Meyer, of the Union of Concerned Scientists. “All of them now have something to worry about.” Like others interviewed, he had not seen the draft…×56.html

Tom Harley
April 1, 2014 7:24 pm

Globull warming spreads corals around, according to the models, using cyclones. It’s models all the way:
From the UWA and CSIRO so they must be right/sarc

April 1, 2014 7:25 pm

final para of the reuters report on the new report!
“The IPCC says that it is at least 95 per cent probable that human activities, rather than natural variations in the climate, are the dominant cause of recent climate change. Opinion polls show that voters in many nations are far less certain.”

Brent Walker
April 1, 2014 7:27 pm

Bill Leak, the cartoonist for The Australian newspaper summed it up.
This even caused mirth among ardent warmists in Australia.

Eugene WR Gallun
April 1, 2014 7:30 pm

As i have stated previously the missing heat is not being stored in the oceans but in the land. This extra energy has caused the speed of continental drift to increase dramatically. What with the ever increasing rise in carbon dioxide levels we can soon expect the continents to be moving as fast as motorboats.
Eugene WR Gallun

April 1, 2014 7:30 pm

As noted before, the cAGW crowd is putting The Onion out of business. Yet another previously unknown power of CO2.

April 1, 2014 8:03 pm

97% of the global scientific community has reached a resounding consensus that the outdated Scientific Method is no longer a viable construct.
Until further notice, 97% of scientists have agreed that hypothetical validation will heretofore be solely based upon the amount of government research grant money that can be extorted from taxpayers. The hypothesis with the highest dollar value of extortion wins and if the economic damage of the newly approved hypothesis exceeds $1 trillion, the hypothesis will be put in a hat with a chance of winning the Nobel Prize at the annual drawing in Stockholm, Sweden.
As an added reward, the new hypothesis must be taught as dogma at all educational institutions from K1~Post Grad programs.
The scientific community has also voted to adopt the following slogan:
The new scientific slogan shall be prominently written on any peer review paper.
97% of scientists have also agreed that 2 + 2= 5.
Film at 11:00.

April 1, 2014 8:19 pm

The latest British model, which simulates the climate on a more detailed scale, was shown to be 62 per cent accurate at giving a broadbrush prediction of winter conditions when it was tested on 20 years of retrospective data, the Times reports.
This is an April Fools joke ? … right ?

April 1, 2014 8:49 pm

I think a fine April Fool’s Day joke would be to go to an Alarmist you know and tell him or her that you’ve come around to their way of thinking. Confess you have seen the error of your ways, and engage them in earnest conversation. Have some fun, and then, after ten minutes, simply say, “April Fool’s.”

tolip ydob (There is no such thing as a perfectly good airplane)
April 1, 2014 9:06 pm

The worst part IMneverHO is the anthropogenically added degrees are now starting to affect geometery.
Remember when the zenith was straight up?
It’s now calculated to be almost 1/2 a bubble off plumb and models predict it will be off by over 2 degrees within the next 100 years.
The nadir is no longer straight down either, it is actively trying to smother us.

Tim Obrien
April 1, 2014 9:09 pm

“Turned me into a newt…”

April 1, 2014 9:27 pm

As I sit listening to another humongous downpour here in Oakland, CA, Gleick’s back and bed-wetting on behalf of us all:

April 1, 2014 9:29 pm

BREAKING UKRAINE: Ukraine attacked Russia, capture of Babushki, Putin placed in Siberian global warming nudist colony, forcing Muscovites to eat dirt pierogies. APR 01
Hope everyone is doing well and thawing out.

Alan Robertson
April 1, 2014 9:53 pm

All of the cataclysmic climate kerfluffle about CO2 from fossil fueled power sources may soon be moot. A team led by Israeli Physicist Dr. Alexsandr Roschenko has announced a small working matter/anti- matter conversion unit has been continuously producing a steady 100 terajoules of power for the first 17 hrs of testing. The machine was designed by Dr. Zefram Cochrane and built by his team of Israeli technicians and engineers. During Dr. Roschenko’s announcement to the press on Tuesday afternoon, he referred to the device as a “warp core generator”. It is been rumored for some time that Drs. Roschenko and Cochrane originally conceived of their machine at their previous research facility near Palo Alto, CA, USA, but moved operations to a new desert facility near Be’er Sheva, Israel after their requests for research funding were refused by both the US Dept, of Energy and Stanford University. Unnamed sources in California revealed emails between university officials and DOE climate scientists who agreed to withhold funding because they could “see no merit in funding projects which did not at least approach the universal scientific goal of proving the truly disastrous ruin to the Earth of man’s dereliction of climate awareness and climate justice”. Israeli officials declined comment, but Bebe Netanyahu was reportedly photographed while dancing a jig at the press conference.

April 1, 2014 9:58 pm

Hey only 21 more days until it’s Hate Humans Day.

April 1, 2014 10:14 pm

All this Doom and Gloom scenarios, reminds me of the supposed shortest story ever written…
“The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door…”
Maybe it is Al Gore.. still wanting to preach his message to the one person left!!

April 1, 2014 10:27 pm

Boy, don’t I just wish I could “like” replies!

April 1, 2014 10:35 pm

Was this a joke? It almost made April Fools Day.

Abstract – Submitted on 8 April 2001, revised 30 October 2004
No second chance? Can Earth explode as a result of Global Warming?

Dr Tom J. Chalko 1 , MSc, PhD
The heat generated inside our planet is predominantly of radionic (nuclear) origin. Hence, Earth in its entirety can be considered a slow nuclear reactor with its solid ”inner core” providing a major contribution to the total energy output. Since radionic heat is generated in the entire volume and cooling can only occur at the surface, the highest temperature inside Earth occurs at the center of the inner core. Overheating the center of the inner core reactor due to the so-called greenhouse effect on the surface of Earth may cause a meltdown condition, an enrichment of nuclear fuel and a gigantic atomic explosion.
Paper here:
Published in NU Journal of Discovery ISSN 1444 1454 Publisher: Natural University

April 1, 2014 10:46 pm

Just take a little fact, mix with myth, stir in the scary meme and serve late after many alcoholic beverages are consumed – job done cake baked please send money!!

April 1, 2014 10:55 pm

Parts of IPCC AR5 LEAKED earlier than we thought!

Dr. Rajendra K. Pachauri – IPCC Chairman – 23 September 2009
“You have to persevere and persist,” he said. “If you do, you certainly will be able to change the nature of the debate.”………
When the IPCC’s fifth assessment comes out in 2013 or 2014, there will be a major revival of interest in action that has to be taken,” said Dr. Pachauri, speaking of the periodic assessments rendered by the group of more than 400 scientists around the world that he leads. “People are going to say, ‘My God, we are going to have to take action much faster than we had planned.'”
H/t Steven Goddard

Conclusions before findings from the world’s gold standard of something or other.

April 1, 2014 11:00 pm

Better said
“Conclusions before research from the world’s gold standard of something or other.”

Malcolm Latarche
April 1, 2014 11:09 pm

Given the BBC’s record in giving sceptics a voice this has got to be an April Fools

April 1, 2014 11:45 pm

I thought April Fools’ Day was the 10th April for all the inveterate tax dodgers who realised too late that they could have claimed more tax credits the previous financial year??

April 1, 2014 11:46 pm

I know for a fact that if you place plastic quart jars of Redenbacher popcorn on the blunt end of radar guided missiles, the popcorn will burst high enough in the atmosphere to increase the albedo of our beloved Earth to the point that all global warming will end in days. It is consumable after returning to the surface and also usefully depletes our otherwise useless deterrent and self-defense weaponry that Obama can’t find a need for. I’m serial – it works.

Peter Miller
April 2, 2014 1:30 am

IPCC’s head Pachauri gives up his maharajah lifestyle to live like an ordinary citizen, saying “Like Al Gore, I wish to set an example by reducing my carbon footprint.”
Yeah, right.

April 2, 2014 2:11 am

@Cold in Wisconsin on April 1, 2014 at 5:02 pm
Interesting idea, but be careful, any politician who think he is a bit cleaver, will cange the cork to something that measures the amount of gases you release and then they will TAX you .

April 2, 2014 2:57 am

Brent Walker says:
April 1, 2014 at 7:27 pm
Bill Leak, the cartoonist for The Australian newspaper summed it up.
This even caused mirth among ardent warmists in Australia.

Alas, a subscription is required.

Chris Wright
April 2, 2014 3:11 am

According to these morons global warming/climate change can cause pretty well anything, particularly if it’s unpleasant.
But one thing is beyond doubt: climate change causes many people to go mad.

April 2, 2014 3:17 am

New peer reviewed study finds Climate Change Deniers believe NASA’s manned mission to Mars was a hoax.

April 2, 2014 6:00 am

Ok, one day late but here goes . . . .
Breaking News: Pensioners revolt following Denture Cleaning Product Ban.
Following last January’s recommendation from the Department of Energy & Climate Change, Parliament has passed (97 votes to 3) an outright ban with immediate effect on the use of denture cleaning products which include brands such as ‘Sterident’ tablets. Said 72-year old Ethel Crunchbucket from Eastbourne, “I never knew what all those little bubbles were made of – but I liked seeing them fizz up all sparkly in the glass an’ I’ll miss wearing me nice shiny false teeth from now on.”

April 2, 2014 6:01 am

So, the greater the amount of good news on the global warming front, the greater their hand-wringing
For those of us that think that more warming is more likely going to have a positive than a negative effect overall, such a long pause is not “good” news. Then what would cooling be considered, excellent news? Brrrr…

April 2, 2014 6:03 am

And another . . . .
Health & Safety News:
Highly compressed Oxygen @ 155psi to replace CO2 as a propellant in all Fire Extinguishers by 2015. Fire Chief says “I have some minor concerns about this new legislation.” More News at 9.

April 2, 2014 6:05 am

It gets worse . . . .
Selling Fermented Yeast Products made Illegal.
Sale of all fermented yeast products have become Illegal throughout Europe, USA and Australia due to unprecedented CO2 risk. A spokesman for retail giant Sainsbrose said “This is excellent news and will significantly reduce the impact of climate change for our customers. After-all, sales of bread, beer and wine have always been relatively poor anyway – and our Italian cousins will soon invent a substitute for pizza. Who wants to enjoy hot-cross buns anyway.”
Multiple Choice Question 13. According to EU law, in 2016, Welding Coolant Gas is to be replaced with what?
A. Milk; B. Hydrogen; C. Decommissioned Wind Turbine Vapour; D. Flatulence from your neighbour’s pet Terrapin.
Just In: Compulsory Burial to replace Cremation: Undertakers accused of contributing to man-made global warming when burning carbon-based people.

April 2, 2014 6:06 am

Last one, honest
Latest: Soy Sauce Risk – Mass Environmental Damage:
Yesterday, China, Japan, Thailand, Singapore and Korea were unfairly singled out for violating CO2 emission targets by allowing large-scale illegal manufacture of soy sauce for the global market. A spokesperson for Kikkoman Corporation, at their Netherlands based soy sauce manufacturing division, said “We’re lucky, they forgot about us over here in the west. Our Dutch manufacturing plant opened here 10 years ago and now produces enough naturally brewed soy sauce to fill four Olympic-size swimming pools every year – and that’s just for the UK condiment market alone! Over here in Holland, we have 56 x huge stainless steel fermentation vats on the go at any one time – all full of plump soya beans that we import all the way from Brazil. Each fermentation batch takes several months until it’s finally ready for bottling. Ok, yes, admittedly, we do produce tons and tons and tons and tons of man-made CO2 as a bi-product of the fermentation process – but just think of the money.” He added, “Although this news offers exiting sales opportunities for us and our five sites in the USA, it could ultimately put our oriental cousins in the far east out of business. How are they going to cook their Kung-Po Pork and Dan Dan Noodles with Crispy Duck from now on?” He also added “Global Warming? Pull the other one. Next they’ll be capping natural human respiration emissions – just to save the planet from doom.” He also added in a bizarre twist of confusion at the end, “Now, where was I, ah yes . . . . Dutch, Netherlands or Holland. What the heck am I?”

Alan Bates
April 2, 2014 6:36 am

noaaprogrammer says: April 1, 2014 at 5:19 pm
“Has anyone heard of the Norse explorer, Loof Lirpa …”
Did he sail backwards?

April 2, 2014 7:35 am

‘..there seemith to be, as it were, a plague in the house”

G P Hanner
April 2, 2014 8:10 am

That picture of a partially buried STOP sign reminded me of my time spent living in western South Dakota in the 1960s and 1970s. Spring was the time for blizzards — really mean blizzards that would bring things to a halt for three or four days. Spring blizzards extended all the way to Mother’s Day and heavy snow fell as late as the first week of June.
The reason for that kind of weather was that the jet stream was moving far enough north that the warm moist air coming up from the Gulf of Mexico was colliding violently with the arctic air just to the north of where we lived. A string of low pressure systems coming up from the Four Corners region was all it took to get a Spring Blizzard; as the lows passed we would get the strong winds and bitter cold being drawn in from southern Canada. Of course, farther to the south, in Tornado Alley, other weather-related violence was happening. Nobody ever talked about the Spring Blizzards across the northern plains states.

April 2, 2014 9:05 am

Heard about ratzilla –
Just a matter of time before the robust AGW link is established.

Jaakko Kateenkorva
April 2, 2014 1:01 pm

Alarmists have boldly taken tragicomedy to a place where no one has gone before.

April 2, 2014 3:49 pm

“Global Warming is Destroying April Fools Day”
Who has more fun than deniers ?
Serious question.

Mike McMillan
April 3, 2014 12:21 am

“The Earth has exploded, killing everyone.”
Women and minorities most affected.
Film at eleven.

April 3, 2014 6:12 am

Very funny, Dr. Spencer. However, technically, April Fools day should be added to the long list of things that global warming ALARMISM is destroying. In fact, why don’t we publish this list here. I’ll start it off, but everyone else, feel free to add to it.
Things that have been destroyed, are being destroyed, or will be destroyed by Global Warming Alarmism:
Free Speech
Property rights
Affordable Energy
The Integrity of Science
The Scientific Method
Respect for Skepticism in Science
Humility of Scientists
Fallibility in Science
The Falsifiability of the Theory of Global Warming (there is nothing that can happen with the climate that will be admitted to being inconsistent with CAGW, and therefore nothing that can prove it wrong.)
Critical Thinking
The Integrity of the Peer Review process
The Integrity of Scientfic Journals
The line between Science and Advocacy
The Objectivity of Climate Scientists and Meteorologists
The Livelihoods and Employability of Climate Scientists and Meteorologists who disagree with the “Concensus”
The pre-eminence of empirical data over hypotheses, theories, and models
The pre-eminence of facts over “Concensus”
The efficacy of Freedom of Information laws in at least two nations
Truth in Journalism
The People’s faith in Science
The People’s faith in Government
The World’s Petroleum Industry
The World’s Natural Gas Industry
The World’s Pipeline-building Industry
The Medieval Warm Period (destroyed by Mann)
The Little Ice Age (ditto)
The Value Ocean-front Real Estate
The Ability to purchase vehicles whose occupants can survive a collision with a small deer
Funding for research on and mitigation of less-publicized (but more real) dangers to life on Earth

I could go on, but I want to give everyone else a chance.

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