Friday Funnies

We have double plus good selection today. One from Josh who apologizes to the Bard. Another via Alan Caruba, who thinks Al Gore has gone missing.

And the Goreacle is MIA…

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Capn Jack Walker
January 7, 2011 12:05 am

Arrgh, Phwoar.

Jim Hodgen
January 7, 2011 12:17 am

Methinks I hear the approach of dread, nay fell hooves.
The scorned ‘herd’ is coming for those that just knew we would never figure out they were bluffing. Happy New Year, Dr. Hansen, Dr. Mann, Mr. Romm. Methinks your next congressional gala might involve more pointed questions, more mature audiences (though Jay Inslee will probably still be giggling) and some really cogent questions about federally funded data sets, research results and massive ‘gifts’ received and personally consumed by federal employees.
I look forward to hearing your defense.

Grey Lensman
January 7, 2011 12:28 am

Alas, poor HANSEN! I knew him, Watts, a fellow of infinite
jest, of most excellent fancy.
Another apology to the Bard

January 7, 2011 1:20 am

I don’t want to scare you guys, but in Louisiana in December we received 2.5″ of rain. That’s exactly the average for the last hundred years. The cause? Global warming. You see, global warming can cause too much precipitation, too little, or exactly the right amount.
Louisiana just proved it. Global warming is real!

January 7, 2011 1:40 am

Global Warming Quago Racks Up £36,000 and 100 flights in 3 years.
“STAFF from a quango set up to lecture Scots on global warming have taken more than 100 flights around the world in just three years.
Despite preaching about air travel’s carbon footprint, bureaucrats from the Scottish Government’s Climate Change Division take regular flights to London, Brussels and even Bali.”
This just typifies the ridiculous nonsense of the present Scottish parliament which is 100% full of eco-nutters. There is an election in May and there is literally no party to vote for which doesn’t have an eco-nutter manifesto (except perhaps the UKIP, but this won’t do well because many Scots are put off the “UK” element). So please do all you can to help publicise their hypocrisy.
Tried to post this to “tips and notes to WUWT” but it didn’t have a box to add this!
Read more:

January 7, 2011 1:52 am

Hmm, I wonder if Al Gore’s disappearance has anything to do with his repudiation of ethanol subsidies. Them Big Corn people can play pretty rough, if you know what I mean.

January 7, 2011 1:59 am

Hmmm… have people stopped taking Al’s calls?
Well, if the environmental gig isn’t working out for him maybe he should switch to televangilism. Good money in that, I hear.

Alan Bates
January 7, 2011 2:01 am

Grey Lensman says:
January 7, 2011 at 12:28 am
Very good but I thought Dr Hansen didn’t have time for jesters … ?

January 7, 2011 2:03 am

Pulling the plug on sustainable debate
…here at Princeton. It tested which posters, when placed in dorm hallways, would garner the highest participation rate in the “Pull the Plug” campaign. Some posters threatened to list non-compliant students in the entryway, while others promised to list students who did comply. Students, under the supervision of the housing office, entered rooms of those residents … to see whether televisions and refrigerators were unplugged during winter break.
OK, I’ve been a little mischievous with the quoting, but it’s an interesting piece and just shows how much people will accept the dead hand of authority if it’s wrap up in the “eco” wrapping paper.
PS. The “Tips and Notes to WUWT” still doesn’t have anywhere to post this!

January 7, 2011 2:53 am

This is the place for the climate spoof sketch 🙂

Alan the Brit
January 7, 2011 3:00 am

Over at Climaterealist they have a UK ITV news broadcast from 10:30pm on Monday 20th december ’10. In it Professor Mike Lockwood stated in a few seconds that the Sun in declining rapidly in activity & that a larger proportion of winters will be colder. This guy cannot be real. He changes his standpoint so much he ought to be called “revolving” Professor Mike Lockwood. First he said a few years ago that he believed the Sun was the root cause of warming, then he changed his mind completely (head of department promotion looming probably) & said it was CO2 from human activites, now he claims the Sun is causing the cooling by implication. Therefore, by default, the Sun’s activiy must play a greater significant role in climate than warmist IPCC acknowledge. Come back William Herschel all is forgiven, Sunspot activity clearly does affect the climate in ways we do not fully understand, if at all! Sorry can’t get a link for some reason so you’ll have to go direct.

January 7, 2011 3:21 am

And oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.
More apologies to the Bard.

David L
January 7, 2011 3:35 am

Don’t worry folks, Al will be back. He’s like a reoccuring nightmare. Problem is, one can’t predict the new form in which he will arrive.

January 7, 2011 3:45 am

The current weather has provided a good opportunity for camping stores to use the following Sale slogan:
Now is the winter of our discount tents
Made Glorious Summer by the Met Office Computer

R. de Haan
January 7, 2011 4:10 am

Gore is in China delivering the Gore Effect, the opposite of Global Warming.
And he wants the Chinese to build greener cities.
But how much greener can you build a city than a city without occupants?
If it wasn’t for the Gore Effect, Gore would be obsolete.

Baa Humbug
January 7, 2011 4:22 am

O Gore’o Gore’o Wherefore art thou Gore’o
Deny thy climate and refuse thy science;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my charisma
And I’ll no longer be a denier.

January 7, 2011 4:23 am

And I thought my post title “NAO is the winter of our discontent” was pretty good, but I think I like this one even more.

Brian Johnson uk
January 7, 2011 4:26 am

Rumour has it he has teamed up with eco fascist Emi Gutz.
The new team will arrive as Gore, Blood and Gutz then?

Baa Humbug
January 7, 2011 4:45 am

“The fault, Alec Rawls, is not in our sun,
But in ourselves, that we are deniers.”
I will not lend thee credibility.
Why then the world’s mine oyster,
Which I with algorythm will open.
Not any credibility.

January 7, 2011 5:05 am

The Sunday Times in the UK last weekend had a feature reporting on NASA’s list of the most implausible science fiction movies (‘2012’, etc…)
I’ve written into their Letters page (watch out to see if it gets published), pointing out that NASA have missed the obvious prime candidate..
Al Gore’s ‘An Inconvenient Truth’…

Robert of Ottawa
January 7, 2011 5:22 am

Typo alert:
Mike Haseler January 7, 2011 at 1:40 am
That should be QUANGO – Quasi Autnymous National Government Organisation

Nigel S
January 7, 2011 5:22 am

This from a few lines on in the same speech seems appropriate…
“I am determined to prove a villain,
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels, and dreams,

Pamela Gray
January 7, 2011 6:39 am

If he wants TV coverage Al Gore will have to find a network that will take on a televangelist program. I think his own green network went belly up. Oh the irony.

Ed Caryl
January 7, 2011 7:06 am

Gore? Look under his desk. (Fetal position, thumb in mouth.)

Henry chance
January 7, 2011 8:12 am

I am going to defend alGore. alGore is recently divorced and lonely. He has to have a social life and live out the remaining portions of his mid life crisis. It was nothing but work and family for many years. Now he can sow wild oats and be a player.

John Whitman
January 7, 2011 8:41 am

Looking for the missing Al Gore is probably fraught will the same problems that has been encountered looking for the missing CRU (and Team) data, methodology, code and emails.

January 7, 2011 9:13 am
January 7, 2011 9:38 am
Alan Bates
January 7, 2011 10:05 am

Robert of Ottawa says: January 7, 2011 at 5:22 am

Typo alert:

Robert: beware Skitt’s Law:
I leave it up to the reader to fine where my misteak is …
According to the Oxford Dictionaries page:

” … acronym from quasi (or quasi-autonomous) non-government(al) organization

January 7, 2011 12:16 pm
January 7, 2011 12:30 pm

So Gores’s in China is he.
“1200 houses collapsed due to snow fall in China; 1 killed”

January 7, 2011 2:17 pm

Big Al Gore is due to hit old Batavia town anytime now. I was surprised to see the innocuous announcement of his visit and associated propaganda session tucked away in the depths of the local English language papers. No front page spread for ‘Mr Vice President’. Skepticism here?

George Turner
January 7, 2011 2:26 pm

Darn. Everyone’s gone all Shakespeare today and I don’t have fresh spoof of Mann handy. My last was in a 2009 WUWT thread. But I did write a coffee version of the same Hamlet soliloquy this morning. 🙂
As a collegue of Paul Erdos said, “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems,” and a good quote that would probably apply to all the GCM coders is “COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.” How much of the current climate craziness comes from these evil little beans?
To brew, or not to brew: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the morn to suffer
The yawns and harrows of a bleary waking,
Or to make urns a’black to shake the slumbers,
And by imbibing end them? To sip: to sleep
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand nighttime shocks
That sleep is known for, ’tis a stimulation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To brew, to steep;
To steep: perchance to steam: ay, where’s my mug;
For aft’ that cup of black what dream remains
When we have stirred and slurped the coffee oil,
Cupped in our paws: there’s the respect
That makes a frothing cup of Café au lait;
For who could spare the whip’t and airy cream,
The Espresso’s song, the scent of Arabica,
The grounds of spent wet love, the brew’s delay.
The insolence of instant and the burn
That patient merit makes of too hurried taste,
So he himself might his craving forsake
Lest a burnt piehole? Who would waking bear,
With grumbled breath under a drowsy eye,
But that the dread of dozing at the wheel,
The commuter’s mortuary from whose urns
No coffee mug refills, strengthens the will
And makes us rather brew those beans we have
Than drive to others that we know not of?
Thus caffeine does make addicts of us all;
And thus the doctor’s urge of abnegation
Is sipped o’er with a pale afterthought,
And resolutions of great sincerity
With this first cup their firmness goes away,
And lose the name of action.–Perc you now!
The rare Arabica! Drip! For thy piquancy
Was in my dreams remembered.
I’ll have to work up something fresh on climate, maybe the St. Crispian’s day speech from Henry V, which does have the apt line “From this day to the ending of the world.”

January 7, 2011 3:40 pm

George, I love it!
Hope your inspiration continues. I have pen poised, should you allow me to cartoon them!

January 7, 2011 5:03 pm

Oooh George I can just imagine Lord Monckton decrying a suitably hammed climate St Crispian’s Day speech – you’ve got to do it!
And I felt this coffee one deserved a bit more exposure via it’s own blog post. I hope you don’t mind.

January 7, 2011 6:53 pm

Al Gore isnt missing. He was just following Tipper Gore around, undercover, dressed in a Polar Bear suit. He was eventually exposed when he had to climb out of the suit due to Global Warming. When questioned he denied that the Polar Bear had died as the result of a poachers bullet. He claimed that the Polar Bear had already died from the heat and it was shot as a precaution lest it was not quite dead and woke up during skinning.

January 7, 2011 7:40 pm

Thank you Mr. Turner, that was beautiful and brought a tear to my eye. Even though I drink my coffee “the way the Good Lord intended it; black as sin, hot as hell and bitter as the Devil’s heart”, I was not revolted they way I usually am by the mention of dairy extracts in close relation to the blessed bean.

Baa Humbug
January 8, 2011 9:05 am

George Turner says:
January 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm
George you need to get that on place mats and coasters and start selling to the thousands of coffee houses around the world.

January 8, 2011 10:49 am

Joshua: Good one. Neil Cavuto showed a skit today of a sleazy guy on the street selling banned lightbulbs hidden in his trenchcoat. I know it’s a visual cliche, but it’d make a good cartoon anyway….

January 8, 2011 3:02 pm

Big Al now cited to appear in Old Batavia today, 9 Jan. Weather remains early morning pleasant, so he can’t have landed yet.

George Turner
January 8, 2011 4:34 pm

Thanks for the responses, everybody. 🙂
It could still use a tweak or two. I think “cup ‘o joe” might work better than “cup o’black”.

John R T
January 13, 2011 3:45 am

Al is coming to Costa Rica, in March – weather records may be set – but he has been busy in Indonesia: Chaos awaits! …but, nothing may happen!
´The evening speech at the Shangri-La Hotel, co-sponsored by the World Wildlife Fund and the Regional Representatives Council (DPD), capped a day of workshops and events led by Gore.´

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