Well, one year ago this week, a tipping point occurred. The apple cart was upset. Richard A. left this humorous satirical comment which seemed appropriate for today, so I’ve elevated it to a full post.
Press Relase – CRU East Anglia –
Everything is consistent with Global Warming
The CRU at East Anglia has released a new study which proves conclusively that Global Warming caused Climate Change, which in turn caused Climate Disruption, which in turn is the cause of everything else. Based on previous research by the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster linking global warming with the decrease in the number of pirates over the last few hundred years, and new research showing that the current flat trend in global temperatures correlates with a recent resurgence of piracy, especially in the waters off of Somalia, Phil Jones et al, have submitted a new research paper to the Journal of Unbelievably New Claptrap (JUNC) that proves everything is caused by Global Warming.
“It was really very simple in the end,” said Jones. “Once we went over the Pastafarian research, which was very robust, we realized anything and everything with even the barest correlation to global temperatures could in fact be linked via other correlations to any and every other trend in the universe.” Indeed, the new paper which is currently under review at JUNC has linked Global Warming with trends in the stock market, the orbit of Mars and Jupiter, whale migrations, and turtle droppings. The algorithm used to draw these conclusions has been called “ground breaking” and “robust” by many of Jones’ colleagues.
Said Professor Michael Mann of The Earth System Science Center at Penn State, a coauthor of the paper: “How they have come up with these links is amazing, the cross disciplinary work has been very heartening.” Responding to criticisms from statisticians and engineers that such work is suspect, Mann replied, “Nonsense, they’re obviously being paid millions by ExxonMobile. The work I have done with the zoological community alone in order to get the requisite number of monkeys into one room to come up with the equations is proof enough of the robustness of the work.”
Gavin Schmidt of NASA agreed. “The critics of this paper are obviously being paid off by Big Oil, we know this because they drive cars and have to buy gas occasionally.” Schmidt, a contributor to the space based portion of the paper that found correlations with global warming and the movements of a blueberry muffin launched into orbit last year, declined further comment. When asked about their refusal of requests to release the algorithm in question in order to review the paper, Jones declined saying, “How or why anyone would want to check this kind of work is beyond me, the conclusions are so staggeringly awesome that they don’t need to be reviewed.” The editors and peer reviewers at JUNC agreed.
Said editor Alvin Hicks: “We don’t need to check this kind of work too carefully, and since I’d like to keep my job and would lose it if I dared question anything these guys put out, I’m confident in declaring it sound and worthy of publication.” Al Gore also hailed the paper as a milestone, writing in a press release, “All questions and skepticism should be ended at this point, the proof is in.” Gore declined to comment, aids saying he was too busy selling carbon offsets to himself.
The paper came at a fortuitous time for alarmists, who have been taking a bit of a beating lately due to the Climategate emails and the tendency of the IPCC to cite Leisure magazine and other sources in their reports on the current state of the science of global climate disruption. Jones concluded his remarks with this reporter, “I think we’ve finally got the name right so no one can question cause and effect via that route, now we have the science to back the name up and it’s really beyond criticism or question now that Global Warming is the cause of everything.” When asked about the convenience of having a theory that can’t under any circumstances ever be falsified, Jones shrugged. “Why would I want to falsify it? It’s bringing in tons of dough. The only people who would want to falsify it are Big Oil and their stooges.”
A passerby had been listening to Jones and I speak as Jones fished in the fountain, and asked, “Isn’t it a little paranoid and contradictory to posit this grand conspiracy by Big Oil and then claim their grand plan is to covertly fund a few blogs run by retired statisticians and weathermen?” Jones quickly jumped on the man and proceeded to try and strangle him with a spaghetti strand, and was subsequently arrested for assault with a deadly noodle.
On follow-up in the court Jones blamed Global Warming for his behavior, and was let off with a suspended sentence. Claims that Michael Mann, Kevin Trenberth, and others put pressure on the local government to impeach the judge and that Greenpeace activists harassed the judge by rummaging through his trash and egging his house unless the trial came to ‘the right decision’ were dismissed out of hand.
Janice says: They tried using lawyers, also, but there are some things even monkeys and lawyers won’t do . . .
Well now, if there is enough money, lawyers will do a lot of disgusting things.
Is this JUNC behind a pay wall?
Louise says:
November 17, 2010 at 8:07 am
“Excellent summary of the whole climategate affair at […]”
Louise, is your family name Gray? In that case, i already heard of you.
All hail the satirically challenged!!
Golf Charley says:
November 17, 2010 at 8:38 am
In the UK, the increase in atmospheric CO2 towards the end of the 20th century has also shown a good correlation with:
Charley, my son was born in 1976 the year we noticed that the temperature was rising and so was CO2. My son grew to a height of 6ft 6in and all the while the temperature rose. He quit growing several years ago just as the temperatures leveled off. I plotted a graph of temperature vs my son’s height and found a .999 r2 match.
I’ve know the cause of AGW for several years but did not want to implicate my son, but as he has stopped growing now and as he ages will start to shrink I think we are past the worst of AGW.
Oh dear! I found some pretty solid evidence of Global Warming/Climate Change/Disruption, or whatever. I find it hard to argue against this particular case………
http://jhakkas.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/global_warming-_proof.jpg
Such an interesting year we’ve all had here.
By the way, Anthony, Congrats on 60M recently, missed the actual event, was in hospital.
regards, and Happy Aniversary to all
john r
rupert.bear says:
November 17, 2010 at 7:47 am
‘is that meant to be funny’
My childhood memories of Rupert Bear are that he lived in a place called Nutwood where evil trees (conifers) would encroach on the happy little world of Rupe and his chums and cause disruption.
Al Gore was at a Green Symposium in Copenhagen last week, when a reporter asked him “Do you have any comment on the closing of the Chicago Climate Exchange?”
Mr. Gore didn’t bat an eye and replied “Listen, none of that is important right now, you know, because I just came from a conference where they presented clear evidence that there are up to 50,000 frozen cro-magnons up there in the glaciers. Now, as you all know, a few wandering cave men probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal. However — If they choose a leader, a ‘Captain Caveman’ so to speak, well, then we’ve got a REAL crisis on our hands!!!”
mkelly says:
November 17, 2010 at 1:28 pm
I can only compliment your correlation with my own. I plotted a graph of my increase of age since 1979 until 2000. The average yearly temperature increased exactly in correlation with increasing years on my part. The interesting causal affinity is that so did everyone else during this period.
The obvious implication is that we are all responsible for global warming.
I’m hoping that global cooling begins soon. I’m starting to feel the years….
Those of you who are smitten by ‘Louise’s’ comic antics and her enthusiasm for the article by ‘kate’, may wish to follow her further adventures on Delingpole’s Telegraph blog, where she ‘trolls’ as ‘bje’ and is known affectionately (?) as ‘budgie’. Kate’s story about a brave ‘climate scientist’ who finds an expired mouse on his doorstep and refuses to travel without bodyguards, is heartrending.
just a quick question for Anthony or the mods
if little Louise posts a link to site, and several (or more) of us ‘hit’ it – does it gain that site revenue? – I am not a blogophile nor an internet worshipper so don’t understand these things – but I would be annoyed that deliberate flaming of a thread to gain more ‘hits’ could actually be putting financial support into such trolls (or their masters) kittys!
G&S were well-known for pricking the pomposity bubble of the self-styled intelligentsia and “officer-class” of the late nineteenth century. They would have greatly enjoyed a chance to “do a number” (pardon the pun) on the AGW pushers. John Shade’s efforts are very praiseworthy., and, ss a long-time G&S fan, I must congratulate him.
Following on with Rupert Bear and climate humour, linked below is ‘Rupert Bear And The Missing Snow’, an offering which has many parallels with Climategate and bungling scientists. His encounter with the Weather Clerk’s Assistant at around 7.10 is highly à propos of today’s anniversary. My only quibble is that Rupert appeared in a cartoon strip and book annuals in my (1950s) day and he and his pals were English.
Hilarious. Thanks. 🙂
P Wilson says:
November 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm
mkelly says:
November 17, 2010 at 1:28 pm
I feel now would be the time to publish our own AGW observations.
Whilst undertaking renovations of my farmhouse, it was discovered that the emergent odour of bovine excrement deposited within the yard had been increasing during summer temperatures each year since around 1989 – It was hypothesised that this was potentially related to planetary temperatures. Granted, this was an empirical measurement, but we kept a careful record of our ‘Jeez, that Stinks!’ (or JtS number) vocal outbursts every day, and find, on retrospective inspection – that this peaked during the summer of 1998, with some 8 JtS numbers per day for a period of 37 days!. Further analysis reveals the peak JtS number to have a periodicity (or cycle) of approximately 360 days! We find this periodicity difficult to explain based on current scientific knowledge. No additional bovine excrement has been deposited since approximately 2005, when a program of active BS removal was initiated, and all deposition of bovine excrement ceased in 2008 when the access of bovines was resricted due to a completely new fence being installed.
However, we further note that peak JtS numbers have steadily been decreasing over the last few years, with summer 2010 showing a peak value of only 6 for a period of 9 days.
We are absolutely convinced this has to do with Global warming. Moreover, we are looking into the effects of the actual CO2 emissions of said bovine excrement as possibly having been slowed, which clearly has a reducing the local greenhouse effect within the actual yard area. Hence, there may be a link to reduced bovine excrement causing locally reduced summer temperatures over recent years.
We have recently discovered the need to homogenise our data however, and have written a program to adjust our JtS numbers since establishing that all excrement was fully removed in winter 2008. We fully expect our homogenised BS data to reflect the current concensus that BS is responsible for all the climate problems of the world. Our research grant application has yet to be approved, but we will keep you posted!
can’t stop – my flock of lemmings are heading off towards Dover….
BTW – apologies for any inconsistencies or data errors in my last post – it was written rather ‘on the hoof’……..
RE:
**toad says:
November 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm
** Kate’s story about a brave ‘climate scientist’ who finds an expired mouse on his doorstep and refuses to travel without bodyguards, is heartrending.**
Yep, She deleted posts about the UK video blowing up the dissenting kids in school.
tonyb – the comments will be in moderation for a bit as she is in class during the day.
Gavin can do it while at work.
“is that meant to be funny?”
REPLY: Only for people that have a sense of humor – A
Lol. Nice one Anthony.
Advice to Rupert.Bear:
Instead of jumping on WUWT posts to get first comment in, get a life instead.
mkelly
When your son has children, could global warming start again?
It is a terrifying prospect. Please ensure you give your son good advice about birds and bees etc
Like several others here, I posted a comment to Louise’s “The Real Story of Climategate” link. [I’m pretty sure it will be censored out, even though I did try to help Kate’s comment count] :
tonyb, your comment is there… at least it appears to be yours. The parentheses make me wonder.
Kate doesn’t understand that a big reason for the success of WUWT is due to its no censorship/light moderation policy. Echo chambers are only popular with their head-nodding inhabitants.
Smokey says:
November 17, 2010 at 3:45 pm
“Like several others here, I posted a comment to Louise’s “The Real Story of Climategate” link……”
========================================================
Well, mine never made it, and it was pretty low keyed. I did manage to get a good laugh though. As you noted “The Ville’s” statement, I clicked on his link,
http://environmentalresearchweb.org/cws/article/news/44339
It’s Mann crying about being investigated. But this is what got me chuckling, Mann stated, “If climate change is an elaborate hoax, then the ice sheets must be in on it; the sea level must be in on it; and the polar bears are likely in on it, although they are big losers,”
I’m not sure what particular ice sheets he’s referring to, but the see level isn’t rising anymore or less than earlier and the polar bears are doing just fine as has been chronicled just about everywhere in the world including this fine site.
Is being an obliviot requisite to being a climatologist and CAGW supporter?
Mods, the black hole ate my comment again!!!
Yar she be a summary of the jocular hilarity we in the piracy Biz, calls flying under false colors .
Anyway tweren’t a hack, it was a completely legal short cut to Information freedom.
Cos even them foul science murdering bastards ain’t claiming innocencia. Just seeking asylum starting to look like coventry.
Look around me mateys, that little area on the front of online msm called environmental damage has disappeared, A science fiction genre is disappearing.
We speak of Clemens in awe, but Verne not much.
Wonderful post – pity about the grammar!
The response was nothing but damage control, because if they say hack then their own legal conduct becomes testable and hence actionable. They can’t say stolen because it was public information.
Emailgate began when they refused to share information in an age of information.
More about ‘Kate’ from a comment by ‘pat’ on the bishophill blog. She seems to have swallowed her AGW indoctrination whole.
as for the climatescientist blog, run by a Canadian teenager:
climatescientist: Credibility in a bewildered world
I’ve been hard at work at a presentation I’ll be making at PowerShift Canada, a youth climate change conference in Ottawa from October 23-26. A big thank you to Steve Easterbrook, a regular reader here, who has contacts at PowerShift and basically got me this gig…
My name is Kate, and I run the website ClimateSight.org, which deals with climate change in the context of sociology, credibility, and logic. I’ll finally be able to leave high school at the end of this year, and then I hope to go and study climatology…
This is the way I structure my credibility spectrum. At the very bottom is the individual – some guy named Joe, or you, or me. People who don’t have any scientific training.
Above that I have the professional, such as Al Gore. These are people that do have scientific training, but didn’t use it to become a scientist – they decided to be a high school teacher, or a politician, or a journalist instead. Depending on how long ago they got their training, and how specialized it was, they may or may not be a reliable source.
Above that I have the publishing scientist, such as Dr Andrew Weaver, who has scientific training in the specific area we’re considering – in this case, climate change. They used it to become a scientist, and they’re publishing their work.
Then I have peer-reviewed articles, in places like Science magazine…
At the very top are scientific organizations, such as NASA. These organizations base all of their statements off of multiple peer-reviewed articles, which have stood up to criticism after their publication. Places like NASA also have huge reputations, so they don’t want to say anything that’ll make them look stupid afterwards….
Climate change isn’t a personal opinion. It’s purely based on physics and math…
http://climatesight.org/tag/youth/page/2/