Friday Holiday Funny: The Twelve Days of Climategate

Concept and wording by Anthony, art and prose tweaking by Josh of CartoonsByJosh.com (be sure to visit his tip jar)

As sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas by EveryMann, Climate Scientist, with backup vocals by the SkS Singers

music_notesOn the first day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me: 

A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_1

On the second day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_2

12Days_1

On the third day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_3

12Days_2

12Days_1

On the fourth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_4

12Days_3

12Days_2

12Days_1

On the fifth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the sixth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the seventh day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Seven trolls-a-trolling, Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_8

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the eighth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Eight grants a-milking, Seven trolls-a-trolling, Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_9

12Days_8

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the ninth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Nine models dancing, Eight grants a-milking, Seven trolls-a-trolling, Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_7

12Days_9

12Days_8

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the tenth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Ten Lord O’ Moncktons, Nine models dancing, Eight grants a-milking, Seven trolls-a-trolling, Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_10

12Days_7

12Days_9

12Days_8

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the Eleventh day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Eleven Twits-a-tweeting, Ten Lord O’ Moncktons, Nine models dancing, Eight grants a-milking, Seven trolls-a-trolling, Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending, and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_11

12Days_10

12Days_7

12Days_9

12Days_8

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2
12Days_1

On the Twelfth day of Climategate, my true cause gave to me:

Twelve polar panics, Eleven Twits-a-tweeting, Ten Lord O’ Moncktons, Nine models dancing, Eight grants a-milking, Seven trolls-a-trolling, Six geeks explaining…Five oooold tree rings…, Four cursing profs, Three Henchmen, Two lawsuits pending,

12Days_12

12Days_11

12Days_10

12Days_7

12Days_9

12Days_8

12Days_6

12Days_512Days_4
12Days_3

12Days_2

……..and A Hockey stick from a Yamal tree.

12Days_1

Merry Christmas everyone! (no matter what side of the issue you live in) and Congratulations for surviving the Mayan Apocalypse!

Light posting for the next few days, WUWT will resume regularly scheduled programming on December 26th.

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103 thoughts on “Friday Holiday Funny: The Twelve Days of Climategate

  1. Were the 11 twits meant to be invisible? Not sure how to represent a twit, but if anyone could, that would be Josh.

    Thanks for the seasonal merriment!

    REPLY: Hit refresh to see the Twits

  2. Very good! – I expect I’d probably have been far more unreserved had I written the lyrics! LOL
    May I respectfully take this opportunity to wish all a Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year!
    regards
    Kev

  3. Josh and Anthony, that was absolutely brilliant and thoroughly enjoyable! And even though Josh’s .sig is missing in action – again! – I know it’s the “real thing” ;-)

    All the best to you both (and to your respective families) for a joyous festive season.

    Hilary

  4. Wonderful! I laughed so hard, I had tears running down my face. That is a keeper! Thank you!

    A Very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Anthony, and to everyone out there, whichever side you are on. Cheers, all. :)

  5. And in addition to Happy Holidays, I’d like to sing the Universe Electric for having the gumption to ignore all the prognostications and cycle through another day and another (for the NH on the 3rd planet in this system) wonderful Winter Solstice, and for those of a SH bent, wonderful Summer Solstice.

  6. Wonderfully done and a Merry Christmas to all!

    :)
    Michael, cuddling up next to the fireplace with three low-wattage colorful CFL Christmas Tree bulbs in it…. a yearly extravagance.

  7. Having just crept out from under my bed, safe in the knowledge the world still existed, I’m pleased to wish a Happy Christmas and a benevolent New Year to Anthony and all visitors. Even warmists.
    Well it is the season of goodwill to all men. Don’t shout at me.

  8. Great stuff Anthony and thanks for all your efforts for the year. You really make a difference.

    BTW, you can add to that the warmists’ serenity prayer:

    God grant me the BIAS to reject the facts I hate, the BLINDNESS to embrace the ones I love and the BAD MANNERS to address those who try to show me the difference.

    Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

  9. The difference between a green Santa and a red Santa is the guy in green takes; the guy in red gives.

    CAGW will prove to be as fictitious as the Mayan prognosticators.

    Merry Christmas everybody!

  10. Thanks for the good laugh! Now I understand why climatologists prefer to stay in house and study models instead of going out in the cold and get real data!
    Merry Christmas!

  11. Thanks Anthony. After being very reluctantly dragged around today doing the xmas shopping, that laugh was sorely needed. Nollaig shona agus athbhliain faoi mhaise daoibh. Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year to you all.

  12. Merry Christmas everyone,
    REP especially to the family of Uncle REP.
    Uncle REP will be on our minds this holiday season.
    He’s probably smiling and chuckling about this, looking down from up there.

  13. …Five oooold tree rings……Gasp!
    Have you ANY idea how difficult it is to mop up the mouthful of Jack Daniels i just sprayed across my keyboard?
    It`s been a grand year.Thanks to you and all your contributors for making the argument that so few would dare,and making SUCH an effective fist of it.(With a few well earned chuckles along the way)
    Merry Christmas!!

  14. I suspect ‘da Mann’ may be one of only a few folks who didn’t get a chuckle from this post … Thanks for giving us something to chuckle about during this ‘joyous’ season …

  15. A Mayan shaman, Harold Camping and Michael Mann walk into a bar. The bartender recognized them, and immediately started shouting “NO NO NO, GET OUT, WE DON’T SERVE YOUR KIND IN HERE!”

    Michael Mann indignantly looked at the other two, realized who they were, understood the connection the bartender had made, and started protesting that he has nothing in common with unscientific doomsday kooks, saying “I never said the world WOULD end. I said it COULD end.”

    The bartender thought about this for a moment, then said, “You’re right. You never did say when. Mann, get out, or I call the cops. But the other two can stay, and their first drink is on the house.”

    Michael Mann, now livid, wailed “but they’re just crazy. I have science on my side. I have SKILL!”

    The bartender said, “well, you may have skill, but at least they had the cajones to pick an exact date.”

    Merry Christmas to Anthony, and all WUWT readers and contributors. Thank you for all you do.

  16. Love it, thanks. Next ICCC you must all make a video. Perhaps the Minnesotans for Global Warming can add their panache too.
    Happy, healthy, holidays y’all!

  17. Correction: It was 20 gbp but, as I refuse to pay the BBC £140 pa by not watching live TV for the last 1000 days, I have a small stock of savings available!
    It’s not quite Big-Oil or other Fossil-fuelled investment but, at least, it’s given honestly as a small ‘thank-you’ to those tiddlers who provide entertainment well above their weight!
    Thank you Josh, Anthony, Andrew and others for attempting the impossible, to beat the big,bad guys, and keep us happy AND honest.

  18. Excellent. The team and their aplogists and acolytes won’t like it though. Very like their “science’, a sense of humour isn’t their strong point…

  19. dave ward says:
    December 21, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Excellent! I think Minnesotans For Global Warming could make use of that…
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    My thoughts exactly

    Merry Christmas everyone and wishes for a very good New Year.

  20. spangled drongo says: @ December 21, 2012 at 3:53 pm
    ….. the warmists’ serenity prayer:

    God grant me the BIAS to reject the facts I hate, the BLINDNESS to embrace the ones I love and the BAD MANNERS to address those who try to show me the difference.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Isn’t that

    God grant me the BIAS to reject the facts I hate, the BLINDNESS to embrace the ones I love and the BAD MANNERS to address curse those who try to show me the difference.

  21. And once again, Anthony and Josh take us out of the old year on a high note. Well done, and Merry Christmas to everyone.

  22. Merry Christmas to everyone. A bit of levity in a time that has seen its share of sadness. Hold those you love close, and may God bless everyone this holy season.

  23. Hmmmn.
    “13 years, now Gore’s richer”
    “14 years, since El Nino record”
    “15 years, all filled with Warnings”
    “16 years, but no warming” ???

  24. Now is the time of the year to give thanks… and I’m thankful we have Anthony and Josh.
    Merry Christmas gents!

  25. OK, fine. So Santa has to fly 39,000 mph to get to all of the houses on time over Christmas Eve. But why would Rudolph’s nose be redder than any of the other reindeer?

    So every time Rudolph now stops
    All of the other reindeer …
    Have to stop quick or get brown-nosed ….

  26. @ Grey Lensman,
    That was fabulous, rolling on the floor laughing my _ off! Bet we could all pitch in a little and get a doomsday bunker at a bargain price in 2013 sometime.

  27. Goode ’nuff said @ December 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Merry Christmas everyone,
    REP especially to the family of Uncle REP.
    Uncle REP will be on our minds this holiday season.
    He’s probably smiling and chuckling about this, looking down from up there.

    Yes, I thought of Bob Phelan also. Sadly missed. Nevertheless, Happy Christmas/Hannukah/Festival-of-your-choice [delete whichever is inapplicable] everyone. May your god go with you…

  28. Thanks Anthony and team for this fine site. A merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you all, and to those of us who just read, appreciate and comment.

  29. Merry Christmas everyone.

    Wrap up, keep warm and enjoy.

    ……… and I hope the warmists’ seasonal wishes are fulfilled – by their boilers breaking down and giving them that warm inner glow of satisfaction that can only really be had from a Carbon Free Chrsitmas

  30. Also perhaps –
    Ding dong! merrily on high, the warmist tills are ringing:
    Ding dong! verily the sky Is riv’n with atoms pinging….!

    Thanks for all the hard work. Have a good one –
    Tim

  31. Thanks for the laugh,Anthony and Josh. Best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Oh yeah. Global warming hit here today in Edmonton,AB. Only got down to -36C with the wind chill.(does wind chill count?) But no snow for two days now.Guess we won’t see any more this winter!

  32. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone – And I mean EVERYONE! – from Michael / Mogamboguru from Germany.

    Mankind has survived lions and ice ages for two million years, has made the Toba-bottleneck, two hot world wars and a nuclear cold war – and now even the (wrongly anticipated) end of the world as predicted by the Mayans (Only that they didn’t predict the End of the world, yet only anticipated the end of the 13th and the beginning of the 14th 400-year-cycle of the Mayan multi-milennia calendar; so much for the proper reporting of the mass media!).

    With respect to the above, I think that chances for mankind surviving a fluctuation of approx 0,5 degrees Centigrade above and below this beautiful world’s atmosphere’s averal global temperature of 14 degrees Centigrade (or was that 15…?) are resoundingly EXCELLENT!

    In this light, again:

    MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  33. Brilliant: my season’s cheerfulness is, unfortunately, a boring answer to the demarcation issue between the scientists who genuinely believe in back radiation therefore the ‘consensus’, and those who do not!

    It concerns whether two bodies in radiative equilibrium continue to transmit real energy to each other, thus cancelling out the heat losses, or whether the equilibrium stops such energy transfer and only net radiative flux can do thermodynamic work.

    The proof of the latter is very simple. A pyrometer measures the correct temperature independently of parallel forced convective heat transfer when you measure the latter by an embedded thermocouple. It does so because it measures the vibrationally-activated fraction of the available surface states that can transfer internal kinetic energy to adsorbed gas molecules or to the electromagnetic continuum.

    Thus there is no radiative energy transfer from either body to the other at thermal equilibrium. The proof of the physics is via Poynting’s Theorem. Radiative energy transfer is by the net flux only, the vector sum of all the Poynting Vectors, which is zero when thermodynamic temperatures are the same. QED and a Happy New Year which will show substantial cooling shown by what’s happening in the Arctic and in Russia………;o)

  34. Don’t forget to get Josh’ brilliant calendar for 2013.

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all.

  35. Thank you for your tremendous efforts all year long. You are by far the best teacher I have ever had.

  36. Good end to the year.
    Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn newydd dda.
    Merry Xmas and happy new year to all from a wet and windy Wales.

  37. Thank you, Anthony and Josh – excellent!

    And, in case any of you would like a few more climate carols to sing this Christmas, I offer the following:

    WARM CHRISTMAS

    I’m dreaming of a warm Christmas,
    Just like the ones I used to know,
    Until strong declining in our Sun’s shining
    Brought on a time of ice and snow,

    I’m dreaming of a warm Christmas
    With every thought that I can form.
    May you keep from cold, snow and storm!
    And may all your Christmases be warm.

    O COME, ALL YE FAITHFUL

    O come, all ye faithful,
    Greenies, leftists, journos,
    O come, all believers in agendas green.
    See droughts and storming?
    Preach “That’s Global Warming!”
    O come hide the decline,
    O come hide the decline,
    O come hide the decline,
    God! It’s cold.

    DECK THE HALLS

    Deck the halls with lots of lolly,
    Falalala la, lala la la.
    ‘Tis the season of green folly,
    Falalala la, lala la la,
    We’ve just got a fat new grant,
    Lies to tell and fear to plant,
    So we’re feeling rather jolly,
    Falalala la for Climate Change!

    HARK! THE WARMIST CHORUS SINGS

    Hark! The warmist chorus sings,
    Praise to Michael Mann’s tree-rings.
    So they say, these demonstrate
    Warming at alarming rate.
    CO2 they say’s the problem,
    6 degrees and more per double’em.
    So we must shut down the West,
    And give trillions to the Rest.
    Hark! The warmist chorus sings,
    “We will tax you till it stings!”

    But Reality intrudes;
    Slowly, slowly, babes and dudes
    Come to know the warmist meme
    Ain’t as truthful as may seem.
    Honesty is re-asserted,
    Science is no more perverted,
    Human progress is resumed,
    Gone’s the thinking “we’re all doomed.”
    Hark! We human beings say,
    We can find a better way.

    Merry Christmas to all,
    Neil

  38. I’m with UK Sceptic. Merry Christmas Anthony, and all your excellent helpers. A Happy New Year to you, and your families. Best wishes, and many, many thanks.

  39. Holiday Happiness to the families of Anthony and the WUWT moderators.

    Likewise to the families of many contributors and commenters.

    And also seasons greeting to the families of all castastrophic climate protagonists and their antagonists alike.

    John

  40. What a talented lot you all are!
    Thank you Anthony and Josh, may 2013 see the end of ‘Alarmism’.
    Καλο Χριστουψεννα, Happy Christmas everyone.

  41. ****
    Jeff Alberts says:
    December 21, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Congratulations for surviving the Mayan Apocalypse!

    I’m sure I won’t survive waiting for that apology from the History Channel.
    ****

    I wonder if all the Mayan True Believers are out of a job now? Somehow I fear they’ll just move seamlessly on the the next fictional apocalypse. Meanwhile any real apocalypse stands in clear view all around Wash DC, apparently unnoticed.

  42. Merry Christmas and a happy & prosperous new year to all

    I know Elmer reads here, so here’s hoping for a new M4GW video. ;-)

    DaveE.

  43. So yah boo sucks to the Mayan apocalypse – I always thought it was a load of cr……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

  44. Very witty Anthony!
    I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous 2013.
    PS We haven’t got any more apocalyptic dates in the near future have we?I don’t think I could stand a re-run of yesterdays stupidity of some people!

  45. Fantastic. I got them all but the three henchmen.

    REPLY: Henchmen tend to be nameless, working behind the scenes as a means to an end, so don’t feel bad that you don’t recognize them. Essentially they are a metaphor for people who do some unsavory things in support of the cause. Peter Gleick is a good example of someone who created a “nameless” identity and worked behind the scenes. I had thought about “Six Gleicks explaining”, but one of him is enough. – Anthony

  46. andrewmharding says: December 22, 2012 at 7:03 am: PS We haven’t got any more apocalyptic dates in the near future have we?I don’t think I could stand a re-run of yesterdays stupidity of some people!

    Oh there’s plenty of them to come. The next being 23/8/2013, as predicted by good old Rasputin and News of The World.

    You can be alerted by e-mail to the next apocalypse near you:

    http://www.rowdydow.co.uk/eotw/

    (Who would say, but such an essential service nowadays.)

  47. “Winter Wonderland”

    Hockey sticks, are a snappin’.
    They don’t tell what’s been happenin’
    We’re not buyin’ the fright
    They’re desperate tonight
    Erasin’ the winter wonderland!

    Gone away are old records
    Here to stay are new records
    Change the old logs
    String ‘em along
    Erasin’ the winter wonderland!

    In the graphing Hansen built a strawman
    He said,”As long as CO2 abounds,
    More heat until we’re fri-ed!”
    But we know that Michael Mann is just a clown!

    They say we’ll perspire
    As the CO2 keeps going higher
    But we’re unafraid
    See through plots that they’ve laid
    Erasin’ the winter wonderland!

  48. I wrote my own little Christmas song. Here goes:

    LOTS OF SNOW

    IPCC news are frightful
    But it’s just a load of sh*t full
    Just a tiny thing they don’t know:
    Lots of snow! Lots of snow! Lots of snow!

    No signs of their scandals stopping
    So we bought some corn for popping
    Credibility is way down low
    Lots of snow! Lots of snow! Lots of snow!

    When they finally p*ss us off
    As their hockey sticks are broken
    We all get the final laugh
    When our dear old Sun has spoken

    Their “science” is slowly dying
    So, it’s time for their good-bying
    Antarctica steadily grows
    And lots of snow! Lots of snow! Lots of snow!

    –Ahrvid

  49. Ahrvid Engholm says:
    December 22, 2012 at 10:41 am
    I wrote my own little Christmas song. Here goes: ….
    =========================================================
    It’s fun to write and read such things as you Anthony have done.
    I don’t think I’ve actually said it yet but:
    “Merry Christmas to all! Keep dispelling the fright!”

  50. david elder says:
    December 22, 2012 at 12:36 pm
    Repent regardless, deniers, or your global warming will cause genocide of the Mayan Christmas, and malfunction of Santa’s globespanning asteroid.

    =================================================================
    Hmmm…When did “Santa” enter the scene? All those reindeer covering all those miles must release bunches and bunches of CO2. Did he deliver the first “hockey stick”? Maybe they are the cause of CAGW! (Maybe we should rename it “CRGW”? “CSGW”? If he was pulled by bovines then we could call it what it is, “BSGW”!)

  51. A good time to simply wish you and yours the very best in the new year, Anthony. You, your site, your posters, mods and commenters make this a rare site of truth, information and much-needed levity. You are the hub around which much of the CAGW world spins. Your dedication is inspiring and I thank you for your tireless efforts to bring light and sanity to a dark and crazy world. Carry on…

  52. Anthony, I offer my most sincere appreciation to you for bringing us this site. There is no other like it!

    The intellectual energy expended and focused here by you, the guest posts, and commenters is absolutely astounding. If there was only some way to estimate the total man hours focused on WUWT from all viewing including the lurkers! Just think about that for a moment!

    Merry Christmas and a joyful holiday to all (even the trolls, sorry but no calendars).

  53. In my comment above I should have written “If there was only some way to estimate the total man hours focused on WUWT from all including viewing by the lurkers!”

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