WUWT reader “roh” writes:
Well its the time of the year for celebration, joy, and festive mood. Climatology is no different too. Well enjoy 12 days of Climategate.
On the first day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the second day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the third day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the fourth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the fifth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the sixth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the seventh day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the eighth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the ninth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the tenth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Ten flawed investatagions,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundring scheme.
On the eleventh day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Eleven years in decline,
Ten flawed investatagions,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
On the twelfth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Twelve incriminating emails,
Eleven years in decline,
Ten flawed investatagions,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And a partridge in a pear tree!
maybe roh could add a 13th day, cos this is the Reuters’ ariticle on the Durban outcome…. IN ITS ENTIRETY:
11 Dec: Reuters: UN climate conference extends Kyoto Protocol
A U.N. conference on climate change approved on Sunday a measure to extend the Kyoto Protocol, which binds some developed countries to legally binding cuts of greenhouse gas emissions.
The timeline of the next commitment period is expected to be decided next year. The first commitment period also expires next year.
http://uk.reuters.com/article/2011/12/11/climate-kyoto-idUKL5E7NA05D20111211
investatagions?
investatagions?
Are boys over at M4GW, who brought us “Hide the Decline”, going to put it to music?
“investagations” -> CRU whitewashes
I prefer http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/12/08/goreathon-now-in-a-living-color-poster/#comment-823762
BTW, “investatagions” should be “investigations” throughout.
The so called Durban agreement does nothing but create further meetings. No developed country has actually agreed to extend Kyoto. The tax and regulate tribunals proposed are pure fantasy and will never materialize. This agreement is just pure garbage. Much to do about nothing.
We the kings of climate are,
Raising the price, of running your car…
C’mon guys, they weren’t REAL “investigations”…. our lyricist may be coining a new word, what do you call an inquiry that conflates one thing with another and spreads like wild-fire? An Investatagion.
When I clicked on this page…for one crazy glorious moment…I thought they were all dangling on the end of ropes!!!
And in a similar themed vein, may I humbly offer (originally posted on BH Dec. 1) …
‘Twas the night before doomsday when all through the House
Not a creature was demurring, not even a scouse
The pleadings were hung in many churnalisms with scare
In the hope that Devil Carbon would permeate the air
The peons were resting, safe in their beds
Far away from the troll-posts of BBD and ZEDs
And many in innocence, and others more jaundiced
Watched them fall into debates oh-so-weighted
With factoids neo-warmist
When out on the interweb there arose such a clatter
My mouse sprang from its mousepad to see what was the matter
Away to the Google it flew like a flash
Where it watched quite intently
As excuses were hatched
From Acton and Jones and across the Atlantic
Were excuses from Mann that seemed somewhat frantic
While coolly The Saint watched with far from dismay
Happy reading to all, s/he said, but do not delay.
charles nelson says:
December 10, 2011 at 7:25 pm
When I clicked on this page…for one crazy glorious moment…I thought they were all dangling on the end of ropes!!!
Charles.
I have seen and read the captions on this same cartoon many times and always assumed they were hanging for their crime. Dam it’s a pity it isn’t true!
Congrats to hrooo1. Tis a truly great song.!
We should start an annual Climategate celebration. In that spirit, let us recall Climategate 1:
Phil Jones is my name and I rode on a gravy train
Til Mcintyre came and published my errors again
It was the winter of 09 I was flush doing just fine
I took our thesis to Denmark but it fell
It was a time I remember oh so well
The night they drove global warming down
All the bells were ringing all the people were singing
they went na na-na-na na-na-na na-na
Back with my boys in Hadley Town and one day they called to me
Said Phil quick come see Al Gore is out to sea
Now I don’t mind fudging data and I don’t care that the stats are no good
You take the data you need and you leave the rest
But Mann should never have published that damn stick
Chorus
Like my mentors before me I am a movement man
And like my colleague beside me I took a warmist’s stand
Mann was at State proud and a rave
when McIntyre laid his stick in its grave
I swear by the bars beneath my fingers
You can’t raise a Mann back up when his work is deceit.
Chorus
Robert E. Phelan says:
December 10, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Oh, I suppose. But only if it’s related to Contagion. Or contatagion or conflagratation…. 🙂
I believe I know Mr. Pachauri and Dr. Mann. Who are the dudes on the right?
Dr. McCoy: His vital signs are dropping fast. There isn’t much we can do.
Capt. Kirk: Do something, Bones!
Dr. McCoy: I’m a doctor, Jim, not a climatologist!
Hmm, I need a joke that ends with “I’m a magician, not a climatologist!”
I love it. Only problem, now it will be ringing in my head for a month!
“Amino Acids in Meteorites says:
December 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Are boys over at M4GW, who brought us “Hide the Decline”, going to put it to music?”
They already did a few years ago:
/Carl
Ok, here’s my attempt:
To the tune of “Do you hear what I hear”
Said the night wind to Micheal Mann
Do you see what I see
There in the data, Michael Mann
Do you see what I see
A career, a career
Dancing in the light
With Doctors Jones and Briffa and the like
With Doctors Jones and Briffa and the like.
Said Michael Mann to the CRU
Do you hear what I hear
Ringing through the sky, Dr. Jones
Do you hear what I hear
Ka-ching, ka-ching
From the rings in a tree
We can change the temperature of the sea
We can change the temperature of the sea
Said McIntyre to the mighty CRU
Do you smell what I smell
In your data files mighty CRU
Do you smell what I smell
A fraud, a fraud
Bodges in the code
It brought you silver and gold
It brought you silver and gold
Said the CRU to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Pray for heat people everywhere
The Cause, the Cause
Spreading in the night
It will make us famous alright
It will make us famous alright
The Cause the Cause
Spreading in the night
It will make us famous alright
Let’s make that invest-duh-gations. I’m sure Homer would be glad to take time off from the nuclear plant to help out.
There was a more “economy-themed” variation of the Twelve Days on KeelyNet a week or two ago. Since the same nasty little creatures are responsible for all aspects of this chaos, readers here might appreciate it, too. In the interests of brevity, the last verse only:
On the 12th day of crisis
the banksters gave to me
twelve cops a-macing
eleven credit crunches
ten nations bankrupt
nine homes a-foreclosed
eight pensions looted
seven rounds of QE
six congresscritters
FIVE BANK BAILOUTS
four mortgage frauds
three subprimes
two toxic assets
and a casino economy.
Ah, you gotta laugh. Or jump off a tall building.
‘The Anthropocene’: a daft notion that we’re afflictingthe planet so much, we need to have a geological era named after our calumny.
Some concerned geologists are keen
On an idea cooked up by Eugene
It’s touted by Stoermer
That we’ve made the world warmer
And started the ‘Anthropocene’.
But the sceptics are beset with a doubt
That mankind has really the clout:
To change the worlds climate
Takes more than a primate
Burning oil when he’s out and about!
So when talking to this or that ‘ologist
Beware they know not what the knowledge is
‘Cos I have a hunch
They’re all just a bunch
Of guilt ridden Anthrop-a-pologists.
on the 13th day of climategate they all get locked up for good
Sung to “The Boxer”
Now I am just a poor Mann
Though my story’s seldom told
and I massacre my data
with lots of urban heat isles and some tree rings.
More than this
I only use the nice data and disregard the rest
Dee dee dee dee dah dee dah deed dee.
While snowed indoors one midsummer I went looking for a grant
but I got no offers.
Just come on from some dodgy source who knew me.
I do declare.
I was feeling somewhat poor so I took it then and there
deed dee dee………
In the limelight stands the prophet
feeling somewhat jaded
by some skeptics
who have asked him, some highly awkward questions
which distress him, and cut him, till cries out
In his anger and his shame
I will sue you! I will sue you! but the truth it still remains
Lah lah lah etc etc.
The mistake the warmists made is to concoct a scheme that is recognizable by a majority of people as being a scam. Most people have had some contact with science in school and know enough to smell a rat when it is presented to them.
They should have chosen a more arcane discipline such as economics/finance. Not many people know enough about it to recognize when they are being scammed and are just greedy enough to swallow the snake-oil they are enticed with, hook, line and CDO.
This song now runs in my head. Great post!
I’ve never been enthusiastic about “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
It is just so redundant.
Davidmhoffer:
We the kings of climate are,
Raising the price, of running your car…
We desire prices higher,
Reaching to yonder star.
Carbon trades to offer have I,
Putting a cap on what you can buy,
Tax extensive, gas expensive,
Cutting your fuel supply.
Turbine blades that fly in the wind,
Easing guilt for those who have sinned.
Mann’s ablation for population,
‘Til human ranks have thinned.
OK, somebody else’s turn. I gotta get some sleep.
Much welcome merriment! I’m going to add a link to this post in my own little anthology, mostly not so seasonal, which I have been harvesting from the Bishop Hill blog (http://climatelessons.blogspot.com/p/poetry-on-bishop-hill-christmas-2011.html).
Thanks for posting it.
I did this late at night.
Change:
Ten flawed investatagions,
To:
Ten flawed investigations,
Change the last line:
And a partridge in a pear tree!
To:
And A whole big money laundering scheme.
tallbloke;
Shame on you! Making “climate” rhyme with “primate”. Now they’re playing sing-song ping-pong in my head …
“On the tenth day of Climategate, The UN sent to me, Ten flawed investatagions…”
Rajendra Pachauri is the head of TERI (Tata Energy Research Institute), so an “investatagion” may be perfectly in order.
Mike McMillan says: “I’ve never been enthusiastic about “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
It is just so redundant.”
Not only that, it’s very repetitive.
Consider a slight edit to the final line: “And A whole big money laundering scheme”
Works well, if you simplify the line by dropping the word “whole.”
“And a Big Money Laundering Scheme.”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-global-warming-may-be-irreversible-by-2006,26808/
As a Finn I am naturally most interested of the credibility of our own scientists.
A scientist called Tim Carter seems to be a good name to use when searching gold nuggets from those e-mails.5233.txt and 7361.txt for example.
crosspatch….I need a joke…
“Hey can you pull a hockey stick out of that hat?”
“I’m a magician, not a climatologist!”
What’s Going on Behind the Curtain? Climategate 2.0 and Scientific Integrity