12 days of Christmas Climategate

WUWT reader “roh” writes:

Well its the time of the year for celebration, joy, and festive mood. Climatology is no different too. Well enjoy 12 days of Climategate.

On the first day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the second day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the third day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the fourth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the fifth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the sixth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the seventh day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the eighth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the ninth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the tenth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Ten flawed investatagions,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundring scheme.

On the eleventh day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Eleven years in decline,
Ten flawed investatagions,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And A whole big money laundering scheme.

On the twelfth day of Climategate,
The UN sent to me,
Twelve incriminating emails,
Eleven years in decline,
Ten flawed investatagions,
Nine smear websites,
Eight doomsday scenarios,
Seven thousand E mails,
Six degrees overhyped,
Five propagandists,
Four flawed reports,
Three main culprits,
Two different leaks,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

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40 Responses to 12 days of Christmas Climategate

  1. pat says:

    maybe roh could add a 13th day, cos this is the Reuters’ ariticle on the Durban outcome…. IN ITS ENTIRETY:

    11 Dec: Reuters: UN climate conference extends Kyoto Protocol
    A U.N. conference on climate change approved on Sunday a measure to extend the Kyoto Protocol, which binds some developed countries to legally binding cuts of greenhouse gas emissions.
    The timeline of the next commitment period is expected to be decided next year. The first commitment period also expires next year.
    http://uk.reuters.com/article/2011/12/11/climate-kyoto-idUKL5E7NA05D20111211

  2. davidmhoffer says:

    investatagions?

  3. AdderW says:

    investatagions?

  4. Are boys over at M4GW, who brought us “Hide the Decline”, going to put it to music?

  5. bob says:

    “investagations” -> CRU whitewashes

  6. Ric Werme says:

    I prefer http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/12/08/goreathon-now-in-a-living-color-poster/#comment-823762

    BTW, “investatagions” should be “investigations” throughout.

  7. Larry Hamlin says:

    The so called Durban agreement does nothing but create further meetings. No developed country has actually agreed to extend Kyoto. The tax and regulate tribunals proposed are pure fantasy and will never materialize. This agreement is just pure garbage. Much to do about nothing.

  8. davidmhoffer says:

    We the kings of climate are,
    Raising the price, of running your car…

  9. Robert E. Phelan says:

    C’mon guys, they weren’t REAL “investigations”…. our lyricist may be coining a new word, what do you call an inquiry that conflates one thing with another and spreads like wild-fire? An Investatagion.

  10. charles nelson says:

    When I clicked on this page…for one crazy glorious moment…I thought they were all dangling on the end of ropes!!!

  11. hro001 says:

    And in a similar themed vein, may I humbly offer (originally posted on BH Dec. 1) …

    ‘Twas the night before doomsday when all through the House
    Not a creature was demurring, not even a scouse
    The pleadings were hung in many churnalisms with scare
    In the hope that Devil Carbon would permeate the air
    The peons were resting, safe in their beds
    Far away from the troll-posts of BBD and ZEDs
    And many in innocence, and others more jaundiced
    Watched them fall into debates oh-so-weighted
    With factoids neo-warmist
    When out on the interweb there arose such a clatter
    My mouse sprang from its mousepad to see what was the matter
    Away to the Google it flew like a flash
    Where it watched quite intently
    As excuses were hatched
    From Acton and Jones and across the Atlantic
    Were excuses from Mann that seemed somewhat frantic
    While coolly The Saint watched with far from dismay
    Happy reading to all, s/he said, but do not delay.

  12. Dave says:

    charles nelson says:
    December 10, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    When I clicked on this page…for one crazy glorious moment…I thought they were all dangling on the end of ropes!!!
    Charles.
    I have seen and read the captions on this same cartoon many times and always assumed they were hanging for their crime. Dam it’s a pity it isn’t true!

  13. Dave Bufalo, P.E. says:

    Congrats to hrooo1. Tis a truly great song.!

  14. Theo Goodwin says:

    We should start an annual Climategate celebration. In that spirit, let us recall Climategate 1:

    Phil Jones is my name and I rode on a gravy train
    Til Mcintyre came and published my errors again
    It was the winter of 09 I was flush doing just fine
    I took our thesis to Denmark but it fell

    It was a time I remember oh so well
    The night they drove global warming down
    All the bells were ringing all the people were singing
    they went na na-na-na na-na-na na-na

    Back with my boys in Hadley Town and one day they called to me
    Said Phil quick come see Al Gore is out to sea
    Now I don’t mind fudging data and I don’t care that the stats are no good
    You take the data you need and you leave the rest
    But Mann should never have published that damn stick

    Chorus

    Like my mentors before me I am a movement man
    And like my colleague beside me I took a warmist’s stand
    Mann was at State proud and a rave
    when McIntyre laid his stick in its grave
    I swear by the bars beneath my fingers
    You can’t raise a Mann back up when his work is deceit.

    Chorus

  15. Ric Werme says:

    Robert E. Phelan says:
    December 10, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    C’mon guys, they weren’t REAL “investigations”…. our lyricist may be coining a new word, what do you call an inquiry that conflates one thing with another and spreads like wild-fire? An Investatagion.

    Oh, I suppose. But only if it’s related to Contagion. Or contatagion or conflagratation…. :-)

  16. juanslayton says:

    I believe I know Mr. Pachauri and Dr. Mann. Who are the dudes on the right?

  17. crosspatch says:

    Dr. McCoy: His vital signs are dropping fast. There isn’t much we can do.
    Capt. Kirk: Do something, Bones!
    Dr. McCoy: I’m a doctor, Jim, not a climatologist!

  18. crosspatch says:

    Hmm, I need a joke that ends with “I’m a magician, not a climatologist!”

  19. eyesonu says:

    I love it. Only problem, now it will be ringing in my head for a month!

  20. cark1 says:

    “Amino Acids in Meteorites says:
    December 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Are boys over at M4GW, who brought us “Hide the Decline”, going to put it to music?”

    They already did a few years ago:

    /Carl

  21. crosspatch says:

    Ok, here’s my attempt:

    To the tune of “Do you hear what I hear”

    Said the night wind to Micheal Mann
    Do you see what I see
    There in the data, Michael Mann
    Do you see what I see
    A career, a career
    Dancing in the light
    With Doctors Jones and Briffa and the like
    With Doctors Jones and Briffa and the like.

    Said Michael Mann to the CRU
    Do you hear what I hear
    Ringing through the sky, Dr. Jones
    Do you hear what I hear
    Ka-ching, ka-ching
    From the rings in a tree
    We can change the temperature of the sea
    We can change the temperature of the sea

    Said McIntyre to the mighty CRU
    Do you smell what I smell
    In your data files mighty CRU
    Do you smell what I smell
    A fraud, a fraud
    Bodges in the code
    It brought you silver and gold
    It brought you silver and gold

    Said the CRU to the people everywhere
    Listen to what I say
    Pray for heat people everywhere
    The Cause, the Cause
    Spreading in the night
    It will make us famous alright
    It will make us famous alright

    The Cause the Cause
    Spreading in the night
    It will make us famous alright

  22. Paul Hull says:

    Let’s make that invest-duh-gations. I’m sure Homer would be glad to take time off from the nuclear plant to help out.

  23. Steve C says:

    There was a more “economy-themed” variation of the Twelve Days on KeelyNet a week or two ago. Since the same nasty little creatures are responsible for all aspects of this chaos, readers here might appreciate it, too. In the interests of brevity, the last verse only:

    On the 12th day of crisis
    the banksters gave to me
    twelve cops a-macing
    eleven credit crunches
    ten nations bankrupt
    nine homes a-foreclosed
    eight pensions looted
    seven rounds of QE
    six congresscritters
    FIVE BANK BAILOUTS
    four mortgage frauds
    three subprimes
    two toxic assets
    and a casino economy.

    Ah, you gotta laugh. Or jump off a tall building.

  24. tallbloke says:

    ‘The Anthropocene': a daft notion that we’re afflictingthe planet so much, we need to have a geological era named after our calumny.

    Some concerned geologists are keen
    On an idea cooked up by Eugene
    It’s touted by Stoermer
    That we’ve made the world warmer
    And started the ‘Anthropocene’.

    But the sceptics are beset with a doubt
    That mankind has really the clout:
    To change the worlds climate
    Takes more than a primate
    Burning oil when he’s out and about!

    So when talking to this or that ‘ologist
    Beware they know not what the knowledge is
    ‘Cos I have a hunch
    They’re all just a bunch
    Of guilt ridden Anthrop-a-pologists.

  25. morgo says:

    on the 13th day of climategate they all get locked up for good

  26. Gareth Phillips says:

    Sung to “The Boxer”

    Now I am just a poor Mann
    Though my story’s seldom told
    and I massacre my data
    with lots of urban heat isles and some tree rings.
    More than this
    I only use the nice data and disregard the rest
    Dee dee dee dee dah dee dah deed dee.

    While snowed indoors one midsummer I went looking for a grant
    but I got no offers.
    Just come on from some dodgy source who knew me.
    I do declare.
    I was feeling somewhat poor so I took it then and there
    deed dee dee………

    In the limelight stands the prophet
    feeling somewhat jaded
    by some skeptics
    who have asked him, some highly awkward questions
    which distress him, and cut him, till cries out
    In his anger and his shame
    I will sue you! I will sue you! but the truth it still remains
    Lah lah lah etc etc.

  27. MarineCorpsVet says:

    The mistake the warmists made is to concoct a scheme that is recognizable by a majority of people as being a scam. Most people have had some contact with science in school and know enough to smell a rat when it is presented to them.
    They should have chosen a more arcane discipline such as economics/finance. Not many people know enough about it to recognize when they are being scammed and are just greedy enough to swallow the snake-oil they are enticed with, hook, line and CDO.

  28. Bryan Lee says:

    This song now runs in my head. Great post!

  29. Mike McMillan says:

    I’ve never been enthusiastic about “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
    It is just so redundant.

  30. juanslayton says:

    Davidmhoffer:
    We the kings of climate are,
    Raising the price, of running your car…

    We desire prices higher,
    Reaching to yonder star.

    Carbon trades to offer have I,
    Putting a cap on what you can buy,
    Tax extensive, gas expensive,
    Cutting your fuel supply.

    Turbine blades that fly in the wind,
    Easing guilt for those who have sinned.
    Mann’s ablation for population,
    ‘Til human ranks have thinned.

    OK, somebody else’s turn. I gotta get some sleep.

  31. John Shade says:

    Much welcome merriment! I’m going to add a link to this post in my own little anthology, mostly not so seasonal, which I have been harvesting from the Bishop Hill blog (http://climatelessons.blogspot.com/p/poetry-on-bishop-hill-christmas-2011.html).

  32. roh234 says:

    Thanks for posting it.

  33. roh234 says:

    I did this late at night.

    Change:
    Ten flawed investatagions,

    To:
    Ten flawed investigations,

    Change the last line:
    And a partridge in a pear tree!

    To:
    And A whole big money laundering scheme.

  34. Brian H says:

    tallbloke;
    Shame on you! Making “climate” rhyme with “primate”. Now they’re playing sing-song ping-pong in my head …

  35. jorgekafkazar says:

    “On the tenth day of Climategate, The UN sent to me, Ten flawed investatagions…”

    Rajendra Pachauri is the head of TERI (Tata Energy Research Institute), so an “investatagion” may be perfectly in order.

    Mike McMillan says: “I’ve never been enthusiastic about “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
    It is just so redundant.”

    Not only that, it’s very repetitive.

  36. Ben says:

    Consider a slight edit to the final line: “And A whole big money laundering scheme”

    Works well, if you simplify the line by dropping the word “whole.”

    “And a Big Money Laundering Scheme.”

  37. Timo Kuusela says:

    As a Finn I am naturally most interested of the credibility of our own scientists.
    A scientist called Tim Carter seems to be a good name to use when searching gold nuggets from those e-mails.5233.txt and 7361.txt for example.

  38. Ben D Hillicoss says:

    crosspatch….I need a joke…

    “Hey can you pull a hockey stick out of that hat?”

    “I’m a magician, not a climatologist!”

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