If elected, Hillary plans to install 'climate situation room' in the White House

From the “pandering to your base” department and Climate Nexus:

Clinton’s Climate and Energy Plans: Hillary Clinton plans to focus on smaller legislative actions and use executive action on climate and energy issues if elected, her campaign chairman John Podesta said at a conference. Clinton also intends to install a Roosevelt Map Room-inspired situation room just for climate change. Analysis of her climate strategy reveals that Clinton intends to reduce greenhouse gas emissions up to 30 percent below 2005 level by 2025 and support fossil fuel workers through the clean energy transition. She ultimately would lay the groundwork for achieving 80 percent cuts below 2005 by 2050, strengthening President Obama’s current climate pledges.

Right, I can just see all those real-time monitors on the wall now. Here’s what it will be like the first day of operation:


Hillary: “I don’t get it, nothing seems to be changing on any of these screens!”

Technician: “Um, madam president, climate change doesn’t happen instantly.”

Hillary: “What are you talking about!? Al Gore and Bill McKibben both told me that that can see it happening right NOW!”

Technician: “Er, madam president, the standard baseline for measuring climate is 30 years. Changes don’t happen instantly. Weather changes on the short term, not climate.”

Hillary: ” Don’t give me that crap! The best scientific minds, Mike Mann and James Hansen, and Al Gore all told me I could see it happening! My friend, Senator Debbie Stabenow, says she can feel it when she’s flying! Your systems just aren’t working!”

Technician: “Madam president, as you ordered, we have all the climate change metrics on display, GISS, HadCRUT, BEST, NOAA, NSIDC, we have all the IPCC models on display, including RCP 8.5, plus Al Gore’s TRIANA satellite, looking straight at Earth and giving a live feed.These all monitor the climate of Earth.”

Hillary: “Well if your fancy named systems are so good, why can’t I see the climate changing NOW!? Gore told me I could watch it happening from space! All this money, and for what? I can’t see anything happening!”

Technician: “Madam president, as I tried to explain earlier, climate change is slow, on periods of 30 years, and….”

Hillary: “DON’T YOU LECTURE ME ABOUT WHAT I ALREADY KNOW!!!! Al Gore says I will be able to see it! Bill McKibben says I will be able to see it. Even that little weasel Joe Romm says I’ll be able to see it! Do you think you are smarter than these people!?”

Technician: [long pause] “um, …”

Hillary: “I’ve watched real time feeds all over the planet! I’ve watched people being taken out in hellholes you can’t even imagine! And you can’t do this simple thing?”

Technician: [longer pause] “well, as I …”

Hillary: “NEVER MIND! [dials cell phone]  Podesta? I need my own server again! These idiots setup all these screens to show climate change and nothing is happening! What!? No I don’t care about timelines! Make it happen!!!!”

Hillary: [mumbles to herself] “I’m surrounded by idiots…”

87 thoughts on “If elected, Hillary plans to install 'climate situation room' in the White House

    • One screen should be devoted to showing coal-fired power plants being built daily in Japan, China, India, and the rest of Asia. Now that’s what I call real-time climate change you can actually see.

      • There would need to be a similar “Employment War Room” with a similar screen showing how many manufacturing jobs are leaving…

      • You would need just one screen to show the economy tanking. I am sure somebody in the US said ‘It’s the economy, stupid’ – can’t think who that was.

      • No, it would not be real-time climate change, it would be real-time coal-fired power plant building.

    • Madam President Sir,
      Just get in Prius-1 with your chauffer, and have her drive you ten miles down the road, and you can watch the climate change right before your eyes.
      Make sure she doesn’t drive you into the Potomac; that’s more like a weather change, rather than climate change !

  1. Madam President should get screens installed that show how fast the money is being transferred from working people to her rich friends. That will happen at cyber speeds.

    • Plus the other screen showing the huge outflows of credits (treasury bills) to China. Perhaps there should be another graph next to this, showing the likelihood of these credits ever being paid. The former would be climbing exponentially, and the latter approaching zero.

      • Uh…actually China has been a (significant) net seller of treasuries. Thru the magic of Quantitive Easing, these (and other stuff) end up on the Federal Reserve Bank’s balance sheet. That’s how you, you know, make new money without having to actually sell any bonds.

  2. This will be Hillary’s way of towing the nutty party line somewhere in a back room or basement. Consider this mission accomplished except for periodic token updates from the podium and scheduled nonsense from the political appointees out around the agencies.

  3. Is that a plot of global temperature on the wall at the back? Looks to be going up…

    • If it’s going up, it can’t be global temperature, that’s been holding steady for almost 20 years.

    • ..Actually seaice0, that’s a graph of your useless comments, minus your pay rate per useless comment !

    • Of course – that is how it’s designed. With Climateers, it’s always cherry-pickin’ time!

    • Looks like projected growth of Clinton Foundation donations after Nov. prepared by journalist S. Blumenthal

    • seaice1 … no, that’s not a plot of global temperature. It’s a plot of the cost of resources wasted on CO2-driven AGW hysteria. And, yes, it is definitely going up …

    • Sitting around watching Climate Change is better than during her tenure as Sec. State where everyone sat around watching snuff videos of drone attacks.

    • Years ago the owner of the company I worked for at the time ran for Congress. I did a little peaking around for him and found that a grand total of four (4) individuals had engineering backgrounds.

      • Update on that; the 114th Congress has seven (7) engineers in the House and one (1) engineer in the Senate.

  4. The room would be consisted entirely of Silicon Valley VC executives and stacks of blank Treasury Department checkbooks. Also known as, any room in a Hillary White House.

  5. “I don’t understand. I’ve been scanning the globe for hours and not one island has disappeared. No dead polar bears have floated by. There haven’t even been any Hiroshima bombs warming the water. Are you sure this is Earth we’re looking at?”

  6. The Map Room should now be renamed the FOIA stalling situation room. After all, climate science that affects the whole world and future generations needs to be hidden and protected from FOIA on grounds of Presidential privilege and national security.

  7. Hillary then approaches the thermostat on the wall… “Ahhh see I found the knob that controls the global temperature! There! It’s all fixed! I AM INVINCIBLE!”. Then she wakes up from her wonderful dream and rolls over in bed as she sees President Trump on the TV.

  8. We can add screenwriter to the lengthy lists of our fine host’s talents! Thanks for the laugh! (and everything else you do!)

  9. If Hillary is elected President then Bill cant possibly become the First Lady. He is going to need a new moniker.

      • afonza
        I struggle with First Gentleman, too.
        Certainly for Bill C.
        First Occasional Consort doesn’t have the imperial sound, doe it?
        Occasional First Consort may not be an improvement.
        Any improvements?

    • Well he is a rabid LBGT supporter, maybe he could make history and literally become the first convert lady president for Hillary. AND perhaps even start new scandals with….young men….

  10. ..One of the NSF supported studies in the video above is ” How Jesus appears on toast ” !! Well, I guess that one one is better than the ” What makes Goldfish feel sexy ” study !! LOL

    • Jesus appearing on toast, or anywhere else, is a matter of delusion or wishfull thinking on the part of the observer. Paying taxpayer money to study such things is ridiculous.
      What I find amazing about these periodic claims people make is everyone seems to know what Jesus looks like. Except me, I guess.

  11. Will this climate “situation room” be heated, air conditioned and lighted? What will be the source of the power required to provide all the comforts of home to this “situation room?”

    • It won’t need a heater, there will be enough hot air generated inside the room anyway.

  12. I have a Climate Situation Room in my house. Lots of windows, couch, table and chairs. Nice place to read a book, eat lunch and enjoy the birds and flowers. Chilly in the Winter and warm in the Summer. Just right in Spring and Fall.

    • rovingbroker: I have one too. It overlooks my pastures. The grass was white with frost this morning so I lit a nice wood fire in the fireplace to take the chill off. Snow in the forecast for Thursday. Situation Normal in this neck of the woods. (Post normal, new normal or normal normal – not sure 😉 )

  13. Hell, I just hope these idiots secure the national security email servers. These guys have such advanced cranial-rectumitis they can’t get their priorities straight.

  14. Shouldn’t the monitor be showing the high resolution global coverage from the OCO2 satellite identifying “the sources and sinks” of the demon gas? July 2 will be the second anniversary of the launch of “the dog that didn’t not bark” which, curiously, seems to have gone into immediate eclipse. Perhaps the technicians are still doing obedience training.

    • If Hillary! was serious about slowing demon anthropogenic CO2 emissions she’d start bombing Chinese coal plants. (/sarc ?)

      • What?!?! And undo that brilliant climate agreement President “I’m-the-smartest-Harvard-grad-evah-but-you’ll-just-have-to-trust-me-on-that-because-my-grades-are-sealed” Obama made with China, forcing them, kicking and screaming and totally against their will,to begin CO2 reductions in 2030?
        Obama has the Chinese right where he wants them. Why would Hillary go and mess that up, hanleyp?
        (Just in case… /sarc)

  15. “Hillary’s been talking about creating a climate war room in the White House,” Podesta said. Oops.
    And we know what the climate war is – it’s an all-out assault on truth, actual science, democratic principles, and anyone who dares to disagree.

    • …and the middle class as ultimate income source and payers by formula for overreach. See AMT tax, ACA law, and SS benefit taxation over time if there are questions how it works in moving from the noisemaker policy need stage to locked in policy and law with growth formula tacked on.

  16. By “climate”, of course, she means climate porn – fires, droughts, floods, storms, heat waves, cold snaps, blizzards, snow droughts, glaciers calving, crops failing, children starving. Because these are things that we can see 24/7, all around the globe now, which we might only read about in a newspaper before, in some back-page article. But oh, these things are “much worse” now, because of “climate change”.

  17. dialog continues…
    Technician: Madam President, it could be a vast right-wing conspiracy.
    Hillary: Yeah, that’s the ticket, I knew it!

  18. When Al Gore’s wife hears Al say he will fix that leaky toilet “In the near future”, does she realize he means within the next 10,000 years?

  19. As an outside observer and someone well informed on the history of the Clintons, I am truly amazed that Americans don’t lynch them both. I am not overstating that, not even a smidgen.

  20. “Clinton also intends to install a Roosevelt Map Room-inspired situation room just for climate change.”
    That would be just like if I built a dedicated dining room just to eat soup.
    Come on, Hillary can’t be that silly.

  21. If elected, Hillary plans to install ‘climate situation room’ in the White House .. and install her email sever in the same closet.

  22. the groundwork for achieving 80 percent cuts below 2005 by 2050, strengthening President Obama’s current climate pledges
    can’t compete with achieving 100 percent cuts by the next glaciation.

  23. “Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make bat-sh*t. moon-barking mad …”
    Just as long as its NOT ON MY TAX PAYER DIME I don’t care.

  24. Hillary could’ve used many situation rooms for other issues during her and Bill’s political lives.

  25. Great, she’ll have a place to go when the next climate-induced civil war causes an embassy to get torched.

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