If elected, Hillary plans to install 'climate situation room' in the White House

From the “pandering to your base” department and Climate Nexus:

Clinton’s Climate and Energy Plans: Hillary Clinton plans to focus on smaller legislative actions and use executive action on climate and energy issues if elected, her campaign chairman John Podesta said at a conference. Clinton also intends to install a Roosevelt Map Room-inspired situation room just for climate change. Analysis of her climate strategy reveals that Clinton intends to reduce greenhouse gas emissions up to 30 percent below 2005 level by 2025 and support fossil fuel workers through the clean energy transition. She ultimately would lay the groundwork for achieving 80 percent cuts below 2005 by 2050, strengthening President Obama’s current climate pledges.

Right, I can just see all those real-time monitors on the wall now. Here’s what it will be like the first day of operation:


Hillary: “I don’t get it, nothing seems to be changing on any of these screens!”

Technician: “Um, madam president, climate change doesn’t happen instantly.”

Hillary: “What are you talking about!? Al Gore and Bill McKibben both told me that that can see it happening right NOW!”

Technician: “Er, madam president, the standard baseline for measuring climate is 30 years. Changes don’t happen instantly. Weather changes on the short term, not climate.”

Hillary: ” Don’t give me that crap! The best scientific minds, Mike Mann and James Hansen, and Al Gore all told me I could see it happening! My friend, Senator Debbie Stabenow, says she can feel it when she’s flying! Your systems just aren’t working!”

Technician: “Madam president, as you ordered, we have all the climate change metrics on display, GISS, HadCRUT, BEST, NOAA, NSIDC, we have all the IPCC models on display, including RCP 8.5, plus Al Gore’s TRIANA satellite, looking straight at Earth and giving a live feed.These all monitor the climate of Earth.”

Hillary: “Well if your fancy named systems are so good, why can’t I see the climate changing NOW!? Gore told me I could watch it happening from space! All this money, and for what? I can’t see anything happening!”

Technician: “Madam president, as I tried to explain earlier, climate change is slow, on periods of 30 years, and….”

Hillary: “DON’T YOU LECTURE ME ABOUT WHAT I ALREADY KNOW!!!! Al Gore says I will be able to see it! Bill McKibben says I will be able to see it. Even that little weasel Joe Romm says I’ll be able to see it! Do you think you are smarter than these people!?”

Technician: [long pause] “um, …”

Hillary: “I’ve watched real time feeds all over the planet! I’ve watched people being taken out in hellholes you can’t even imagine! And you can’t do this simple thing?”

Technician: [longer pause] “well, as I …”

Hillary: “NEVER MIND! [dials cell phone]  Podesta? I need my own server again! These idiots setup all these screens to show climate change and nothing is happening! What!? No I don’t care about timelines! Make it happen!!!!”

Hillary: [mumbles to herself] “I’m surrounded by idiots…”

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May 10, 2016 6:49 am

..This would be funny, if it wasn’t so close to the truth !

Reply to  Marcus
May 10, 2016 7:09 am

One screen should be devoted to showing coal-fired power plants being built daily in Japan, China, India, and the rest of Asia. Now that’s what I call real-time climate change you can actually see.

Reply to  Trebla
May 10, 2016 9:24 am

There would need to be a similar “Employment War Room” with a similar screen showing how many manufacturing jobs are leaving…

Gerry, England
Reply to  Trebla
May 10, 2016 4:22 pm

You would need just one screen to show the economy tanking. I am sure somebody in the US said ‘It’s the economy, stupid’ – can’t think who that was.

Reply to  Trebla
May 10, 2016 6:56 pm

No, it would not be real-time climate change, it would be real-time coal-fired power plant building.

Reply to  Trebla
May 11, 2016 1:34 pm

I believe,that is called “Progress”What she is proposing is called something else.

george e. smith
Reply to  Marcus
May 10, 2016 12:50 pm

Madam President Sir,
Just get in Prius-1 with your chauffer, and have her drive you ten miles down the road, and you can watch the climate change right before your eyes.
Make sure she doesn’t drive you into the Potomac; that’s more like a weather change, rather than climate change !

Reply to  george e. smith
May 10, 2016 1:44 pm

It would also be political change.

Reply to  george e. smith
May 10, 2016 2:51 pm

…a positive change. Change you can depend on.

Gerry, England
Reply to  Marcus
May 10, 2016 4:23 pm

As Richard Littlejohn says in the Daily Mail – you couldn’t make it up.

May 10, 2016 6:50 am

Madam President should get screens installed that show how fast the money is being transferred from working people to her rich friends. That will happen at cyber speeds.

Reply to  QMC, USN (Ret)
May 10, 2016 7:30 am

Plus the other screen showing the huge outflows of credits (treasury bills) to China. Perhaps there should be another graph next to this, showing the likelihood of these credits ever being paid. The former would be climbing exponentially, and the latter approaching zero.

Javert Chip
Reply to  ralfellis
May 10, 2016 8:14 am

Uh…actually China has been a (significant) net seller of treasuries. Thru the magic of Quantitive Easing, these (and other stuff) end up on the Federal Reserve Bank’s balance sheet. That’s how you, you know, make new money without having to actually sell any bonds.

May 10, 2016 6:55 am

a new high for climate goofiness

May 10, 2016 6:56 am

This will be Hillary’s way of towing the nutty party line somewhere in a back room or basement. Consider this mission accomplished except for periodic token updates from the podium and scheduled nonsense from the political appointees out around the agencies.

Reply to  Resourceguy
May 11, 2016 12:25 pm

ClimateWorks Foundation, San Francisco, Founded 2008
Board includes: John D. Podesta, Center For American Progress.
This a “pass through” foundation.
View this website if you want to see the flow of money and who supplies the money to NGOs.
Goes a long way to understanding Clinton’s position.

Reply to  Barbara
May 11, 2016 1:39 pm

Center for American Progress, Washington, D.C.
Founder: John Podesta, 2003
Funders $1 million or more include:
TomKat Charitable Trust
The William and Flora Hewlett Foundation
And others
May need to type in the URL to access the above webpage.

Reply to  Barbara
May 11, 2016 4:34 pm

Stanford University, California
TomKat Center for Sustainable Energy, est.2009 with a gift from Tom Steyer and wife Kat Taylor.
The TomKat Center for Sustainable Energy works to transform the world’s energy systems.

May 10, 2016 6:57 am

Is that a plot of global temperature on the wall at the back? Looks to be going up…

Reply to  seaice1
May 10, 2016 6:59 am

If it’s going up, it can’t be global temperature, that’s been holding steady for almost 20 years.

Reply to  seaice1
May 10, 2016 7:33 am

..Actually seaice0, that’s a graph of your useless comments, minus your pay rate per useless comment !

Bruce Cobb
Reply to  seaice1
May 10, 2016 8:40 am

Of course – that is how it’s designed. With Climateers, it’s always cherry-pickin’ time!

Paul Courtney
Reply to  seaice1
May 10, 2016 5:18 pm

Looks like projected growth of Clinton Foundation donations after Nov. prepared by journalist S. Blumenthal

Reply to  seaice1
May 10, 2016 8:51 pm

seaice1 … no, that’s not a plot of global temperature. It’s a plot of the cost of resources wasted on CO2-driven AGW hysteria. And, yes, it is definitely going up …

May 10, 2016 6:57 am

What sort of people are we electing nowadays?

Reply to  David Johnson
May 10, 2016 7:00 am

The same kind we’ve been electing for years.

Joe Crawford
Reply to  David Johnson
May 10, 2016 7:12 am

Sitting around watching Climate Change is better than during her tenure as Sec. State where everyone sat around watching snuff videos of drone attacks.

Reply to  Joe Crawford
May 10, 2016 12:47 pm

Show her a video of cows, farting . . .

Reply to  Joe Crawford
May 10, 2016 1:45 pm

You mean a selfie?

Reply to  Joe Crawford
May 11, 2016 4:08 am

You had to say that, didn’t you?
“a selfie”
There goes my keyboard…coffee everywhere.

D. J. Hawkins
Reply to  David Johnson
May 10, 2016 8:33 am

Years ago the owner of the company I worked for at the time ran for Congress. I did a little peaking around for him and found that a grand total of four (4) individuals had engineering backgrounds.

D. J. Hawkins
Reply to  D. J. Hawkins
May 10, 2016 8:38 am

Update on that; the 114th Congress has seven (7) engineers in the House and one (1) engineer in the Senate.

May 10, 2016 7:00 am

The room would be consisted entirely of Silicon Valley VC executives and stacks of blank Treasury Department checkbooks. Also known as, any room in a Hillary White House.

Reply to  Infamy
May 10, 2016 8:48 am

Will they have a shelf for the Rose Law firm billing records?

Reply to  MarkW
May 10, 2016 9:59 am

…and if in that same room, there are park benches lining the wall; anyone who’s ushered in should probably assume that it won’t end well for them.

Reply to  MarkW
May 10, 2016 6:58 pm

Not to forget the padded walls.

May 10, 2016 7:02 am

“I don’t understand. I’ve been scanning the globe for hours and not one island has disappeared. No dead polar bears have floated by. There haven’t even been any Hiroshima bombs warming the water. Are you sure this is Earth we’re looking at?”

Reply to  JohnH
May 10, 2016 10:00 am

Has Guam tipped over yet?

David Chappell
Reply to  JohnH
May 10, 2016 11:35 am

You must have blinked: “Five tiny Pacific islands have disappeared amid rising seas and erosion”

Reply to  David Chappell
May 10, 2016 12:47 pm

Not to worry; the Chinese have built that many new ones in the South China Sea.

May 10, 2016 7:03 am

Look…an elephant!

May 10, 2016 7:04 am

The Map Room should now be renamed the FOIA stalling situation room. After all, climate science that affects the whole world and future generations needs to be hidden and protected from FOIA on grounds of Presidential privilege and national security.

May 10, 2016 7:06 am

Will she appoint Mark Ruffalo as Secretary of Energy?

Steve Fraser
Reply to  Canman
May 10, 2016 8:04 am

He plays a green character in the movies…

Reply to  Canman
May 10, 2016 4:19 pm

Shouldn’t that be “Pant Suit?” (with an extra side helping of kankle?)

May 10, 2016 7:07 am

Political posturing for LIVs (low information voters).

May 10, 2016 7:09 am

Hillary then approaches the thermostat on the wall… “Ahhh see I found the knob that controls the global temperature! There! It’s all fixed! I AM INVINCIBLE!”. Then she wakes up from her wonderful dream and rolls over in bed as she sees President Trump on the TV.

Reply to  Craig
May 10, 2016 7:21 am

+++++++++++++ x 1,000 ….lol

May 10, 2016 7:14 am

We can add screenwriter to the lengthy lists of our fine host’s talents! Thanks for the laugh! (and everything else you do!)

May 10, 2016 7:18 am

If Hillary is elected President then Bill cant possibly become the First Lady. He is going to need a new moniker.

Ed Zuiderwijk
Reply to  birdynumnum
May 10, 2016 7:40 am

[snip -over the top -mod]

Reply to  birdynumnum
May 10, 2016 7:58 am

It sure isn’t going to be First Gentleman…

Reply to  afonzarelli
May 10, 2016 1:41 pm

I struggle with First Gentleman, too.
Certainly for Bill C.
First Occasional Consort doesn’t have the imperial sound, doe it?
Occasional First Consort may not be an improvement.
Any improvements?

Reply to  birdynumnum
May 10, 2016 1:49 pm

Well he is a rabid LBGT supporter, maybe he could make history and literally become the first convert lady president for Hillary. AND perhaps even start new scandals with….young men….

May 10, 2016 7:43 am

If Hillary is elected, this how your tax dollars will continue to be wasted by NSF……

May 10, 2016 7:49 am

..One of the NSF supported studies in the video above is ” How Jesus appears on toast ” !! Well, I guess that one one is better than the ” What makes Goldfish feel sexy ” study !! LOL

Reply to  Marcus
May 10, 2016 4:20 pm

Jesus appearing on toast, or anywhere else, is a matter of delusion or wishfull thinking on the part of the observer. Paying taxpayer money to study such things is ridiculous.
What I find amazing about these periodic claims people make is everyone seems to know what Jesus looks like. Except me, I guess.

May 10, 2016 7:59 am

Will this climate “situation room” be heated, air conditioned and lighted? What will be the source of the power required to provide all the comforts of home to this “situation room?”

Reply to  DonK31
May 10, 2016 9:45 am

It won’t need a heater, there will be enough hot air generated inside the room anyway.

May 10, 2016 8:02 am

I have a Climate Situation Room in my house. Lots of windows, couch, table and chairs. Nice place to read a book, eat lunch and enjoy the birds and flowers. Chilly in the Winter and warm in the Summer. Just right in Spring and Fall.

Reply to  rovingbroker
May 10, 2016 10:13 am

rovingbroker: I have one too. It overlooks my pastures. The grass was white with frost this morning so I lit a nice wood fire in the fireplace to take the chill off. Snow in the forecast for Thursday. Situation Normal in this neck of the woods. (Post normal, new normal or normal normal – not sure 😉 )
comment image?dl=0

Reply to  Wayne Delbeke
May 10, 2016 11:07 am

Aby Normal?

May 10, 2016 8:05 am

In the next episode, Hillary tries to blame the whole thing on a YouTube video.

Javert Chip
May 10, 2016 8:09 am

Hell, I just hope these idiots secure the national security email servers. These guys have such advanced cranial-rectumitis they can’t get their priorities straight.

May 10, 2016 8:43 am

Shouldn’t the monitor be showing the high resolution global coverage from the OCO2 satellite identifying “the sources and sinks” of the demon gas? July 2 will be the second anniversary of the launch of “the dog that didn’t not bark” which, curiously, seems to have gone into immediate eclipse. Perhaps the technicians are still doing obedience training.

Reply to  betapug
May 10, 2016 9:05 am

If Hillary! was serious about slowing demon anthropogenic CO2 emissions she’d start bombing Chinese coal plants. (/sarc ?)

Reply to  hanelyp
May 10, 2016 11:54 am

What?!?! And undo that brilliant climate agreement President “I’m-the-smartest-Harvard-grad-evah-but-you’ll-just-have-to-trust-me-on-that-because-my-grades-are-sealed” Obama made with China, forcing them, kicking and screaming and totally against their will,to begin CO2 reductions in 2030?
Obama has the Chinese right where he wants them. Why would Hillary go and mess that up, hanleyp?
(Just in case… /sarc)

Reply to  hanelyp
May 10, 2016 1:53 pm

…H.R….ummm, I think that needs a triple /sarc…..IMHO !!

Bruce Cobb
May 10, 2016 8:44 am

“Hillary’s been talking about creating a climate war room in the White House,” Podesta said. Oops.
And we know what the climate war is – it’s an all-out assault on truth, actual science, democratic principles, and anyone who dares to disagree.

Reply to  Bruce Cobb
May 10, 2016 8:50 am

In war, the first casualty is the truth.

Reply to  Bruce Cobb
May 10, 2016 10:17 am

…and the middle class as ultimate income source and payers by formula for overreach. See AMT tax, ACA law, and SS benefit taxation over time if there are questions how it works in moving from the noisemaker policy need stage to locked in policy and law with growth formula tacked on.

Bruce Cobb
May 10, 2016 9:52 am

By “climate”, of course, she means climate porn – fires, droughts, floods, storms, heat waves, cold snaps, blizzards, snow droughts, glaciers calving, crops failing, children starving. Because these are things that we can see 24/7, all around the globe now, which we might only read about in a newspaper before, in some back-page article. But oh, these things are “much worse” now, because of “climate change”.

F. Ross
May 10, 2016 11:23 am

dialog continues…
Technician: Madam President, it could be a vast right-wing conspiracy.
Hillary: Yeah, that’s the ticket, I knew it!

Steve T
May 10, 2016 11:48 am

When Al Gore’s wife hears Al say he will fix that leaky toilet “In the near future”, does she realize he means within the next 10,000 years?

Javert Chip
Reply to  Steve T
May 10, 2016 3:40 pm

Uh…Al left the marriage a while ago to attend “massage” therapy

Reply to  Javert Chip
May 11, 2016 4:24 am

I had to chuckle.
You got me.

May 10, 2016 11:52 am

As an outside observer and someone well informed on the history of the Clintons, I am truly amazed that Americans don’t lynch them both. I am not overstating that, not even a smidgen.

May 10, 2016 1:05 pm

“Clinton also intends to install a Roosevelt Map Room-inspired situation room just for climate change.”
That would be just like if I built a dedicated dining room just to eat soup.
Come on, Hillary can’t be that silly.

Reply to  Science or Fiction
May 10, 2016 1:43 pm

S or F
Please tell me what you are drinking.
I want some of that too!

May 10, 2016 1:42 pm

If elected, Hillary plans to install ‘climate situation room’ in the White House .. and install her email sever in the same closet.

Reply to  Neo
May 10, 2016 4:45 pm

Well, THIS TIME she won’t have to hide Sid “Grassy Knoll” Blumenthal under a bushel basket …

Johann Wundersamer
May 10, 2016 1:55 pm

the groundwork for achieving 80 percent cuts below 2005 by 2050, strengthening President Obama’s current climate pledges
can’t compete with achieving 100 percent cuts by the next glaciation.

May 10, 2016 4:42 pm

“Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make bat-sh*t. moon-barking mad …”
Just as long as its NOT ON MY TAX PAYER DIME I don’t care.

Michael Jankowski
May 10, 2016 4:47 pm

Hillary could’ve used many situation rooms for other issues during her and Bill’s political lives.

Paul Courtney
May 10, 2016 5:34 pm

Great, she’ll have a place to go when the next climate-induced civil war causes an embassy to get torched.

May 10, 2016 7:55 pm

Perhaps they will allow her to install one in her prison cell……

May 10, 2016 10:35 pm

Send her to one of the polar ice caps so she can watch the ice melt….:)

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