Friday Funny – Farmer answers Greenpeace fracking protesters with manure sprayer

This farmer decided to fight B.S. with B.S., literally.

Josh writes: Emma Thompson is in the news again with her mobile bake off protest against fracking in Lancashire.

The actress joined Greenpeace fracking protesters by occupying private land slated for gas exploration that had been posted as “no trespassing” by court injunction, even mugging for cameras as they climbed over the fence.




Images from via UK Daily Mail

Josh decided Emma was worth parodying:


Full story here


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I want that video !! LOL


I can provide link if desired

direct download link below the embed. both domains are mine if it looks odd


Many thanks.


ShrNfr glad to help

Thank you for the laugh!!!

Jay Hope

Unfortunately, the annoying bitch didn’t get covered in crap.

Isn’t she the most annoying cow? A few years ago she sent her adopted (black) son to a predominantly white Exeter University…then complained that he was he was given an unpleasant experience. The poor bloke deserves better than to have that as a ‘mum’.


…You can Put lipstick on a pig…but it is still a pig !

One means of crowd control–BS for BS:-)

Joe Crawford

Maybe ‘CS for BS’. A couple of years ago during our Heritage Days weekend I was standing on the sidewalk down town when a chicken poop truck drove by. As it did you could here a couple of tourists loudly complaining about the rather noticeable odor. A couple of local ladies were standing next to me. I had to laugh when one of ’em told the other: “Smells like money to me.” And her companion responded: “Sure does, don’t it.” … Guess it’s all in your perspective.

John Silver

Im gonna get me one of those LGP 2400.


You might like to consider HiSpec’s kit from Ireland in this type of situation. Excellent on wet ground …

They come in green too for a co-ordinated look 🙂


..Forwarding this to all my liberal followers !! I have millions …that hate me !! LOL


Those who identify as liberal are mere shadows of their former selves. It’s as if they’ve abandoned their core values and have gone full-on authoritarian. In fact, I think more right leaning people are more liberal, in the traditional sense, than those who claim to be liberal and this isn’t the first time we’ve gone through a polar flip…I think the last time we did was back in the 60s?

Bryan A

[snip over the top crude – Anthony]


When I was a pup people would describe themselves as small ‘l’ liberal or small ‘c’ conservative and we would know approximately where they stood.
These days, it’s hard to know what ‘liberal’ means. It may be one of those words whose meaning might have changed (more than once).
In my own case, I am reduced to: “A yam, what a yam.” link


That’s the problem with ideological terms,
They’re not defined by the dictionary but by the flavor of the generation….


At one time most Liberals were what some today refer to as “Classical Liberals” (a dying or perhaps dead breed), that is those Liberals who believed in Liberty, not Statism. Unfortunately many Conservatives today are also Statists, although to a lesser degree than today’s Liberals. Both “Classical Liberals” and “Classical Conservatives” are on the endangered list especially with most of today’s politicians. You certainly wouldn’t call the current Conservative British PM a Classical Conservative..


Greenpeace, January 7, 2016, Washington, D.C.
‘Letter to Presidential Candidates: The Pledge to Fix Democracy’
Letter signers included:
Friends of the Earth
Oil Change International
Bill McKibben
Gus Speth
Perhaps people should look into the activities of Greenpeace in the U.S.?
Greenpeace,, Friends of the Earth, Oil Change International, and Bill McKibben are active in Canada.


Rainforest Action Network, San Franciso, CA, U.S.A.
Articles on Rainforest Action Network & Canada:


Greenpeace USA, January 11, 2016
More Than 20 Organiztions Ask Presidential Candidates to Sign a “Fix Democracy” Pledge
Bernie Sanders was first to sign.
Possible link Greenpeace > U.S.Senate?

Rob Morrow

The same strategy works with cats. Spray with a little vinegar and eventually they’ll stop scratching the furniture.


Yeah, but cats may be smarter than Hollywood actresses.
Just sayin’…


..Unfortunately, my black cat loves fries and vinegar, so she would just start eating my furniture ! ( more than she already does ) !!


That only works if you do it while they’re not looking. The trick is to make them think the thing they’re scratching is spraying them but if they see you…the jig up!
Perhaps the same logic could apply to this?


mine broke the sprayer used….then knocked over the vinegar jugs themselves in pantry.


…Now who’s full of SHlT ? LOL

Bryan A

Oh look, It’s Nanny McPheeeww

Gerry, England

Sadly these two didn’t get a good coating. Perhaps the next time.

@ Gerry,11:19, I noticed the same thing when they were sitting on the fence not a splatter on them what a bunch of phony jerks.

James Bull

Maybe the farmer should use this method the next time he’d get better coverage.

James Bull


Given the guarantee of a massive audience, it might be a nice idea to invite her to do a guest-post on why she is so anti-fracking. Then, perhaps, we could all be the wiser …


Seriously, why weren’t they arrested for trespassing?


…If you were a cop…would YOU want to put them in your back seat ?….D’oh !


Because in England trespassing is not illegal. It is in Scotland.

That happened at the school I attended too; a parochial school run by the sisters of mercy.

Nigel S

Unless you’ve got a High Court Injunction of course. Contempt of Court = jail time with luck!


I feel sorry for the police, the shit they have to deal with, day after day.

When I was at primary school (mind you that was on the other side of the Iron Curtain) if anyone held pencil the way that policemen does, it would get a ticking off with a long (about 50cm) wooden ruler, known as the ‘enforcer’. We all had to learn to write holding pencil with thumb on one side, index and middle finger on the other, with remaining two fingers folded under. Kids had to learn from very young age to obey the authority.

Vuk: “We all had to learn to write holding pencil with thumb on one side, index and middle finger on the other, with remaining two fingers folded under.
That’s exactly how I was taught too – not behind the Iron Curtain but in England during the War (Second World, not the First!).


Could that be any more apt


…You just cost me half a beer …all over my computer screen ! It was well worth it ..


and you don’t have to refill it! Spontaneous generation!



That’s a classic, thanks!

george e. smith

Nah, that looks like the fuel truck for the big green applicator vehicle.


I get your point, but manure has a value. Maybe just a big “O” from the south end of a north bound cow/bull. The face shown would be appropriate.

Ian Magness

..because we are soft on criminals in this country, especially with regard to land rights. I wouldn’t be surprised if the luvvie queen herself sues for the manure shower.


“Subject to a court injunction” means a violation is technically “contempt of court” – an infraction which is entirely subject to the decision of the judge (no jury required) and which has no sentencing guidelines. There is photographic evidence that they were aware of the injunction and chose to disregard it anyway. No plea required.


I’ll bet those wild eyed one worlders never even noticed since none of them have bathed in years.

Jimmy Haigh

They can’t complain. It was all organic.


Indeed. As Kate from has it, organic is Greek for “grown in BS”.


Will there be a second protest? Methinks not. Word gets around, you know.

John Harmsworth

Smell gets around even faster!

I dunno, I think the fact that Gina McCarthy was named “Conservationist of the Year” is far funnier.




Where do we send skunk scent donations?

Good on the farmer


A few decades ago, I decided that the best way to control any unruly crowd, was for chemists to come up with a gas (like teargas), that would cause an instant release of protesters’ bowels. They would become their own instant sh.t storm. Problem solved.

Gary Hladik

It’s been done, at least in fiction. See “South Park” season 3, episode 17:

Michael J. Dunn

I’ve read that high-volume infrasonic sound will produce such an effect, along with unease, paranoia, and fear.


One of these times, a protest will go like this: the Usual Suspects will chain themselves to a fence, someone will open another gate, let in the trucks, and then go about their business. Then everyone will go home as the police are under no obligation to bring bolt cutters with them.

Hopefully none of the above will ever have to protest about anything lest they get illegally sprayed with shit or legally sprayed by water-cannon.

David Smith

None of the above would be involved in a contempt of court like Emma and her latte sipping eco-warriors.
BTW who said the sewage spraying was illegal?


David sez:
“BTW who said the sewage spraying was illegal?
Yeah, and besides, there weren’t any protesters there. The sign said it was forbidden so if the government decrees it is not allowed, well then of course that takes care of the matter and no one could possibly be there, right?
How could that farmer be doing anything but spraying manure on his field?


I hope that she didn’t bake those muffins in a gas oven.
Or an electrical over powered by the gas reliant grid.
I expect that those muffins were baked by magical pixie power, which is accessible only to those who try really really really hard to believe in a magical future where cakes bake themselves.
And where solar panels work during dark winter evenings whilst all the mummies are baking muffins for their darlings in the dream utopia of tomorrowland.
Don’t these idiots realize that we need MORE gas generation capacity BECAUSE of the solar and wind that they themselves are trying to promote.

David Smith

It’s not just a symbolic detail.
Encouraging vast numbers of people to take to their ovens really will have upped the national consumption of energy.
Since home-baking of novelty cakes is a very energy intensive way of manufacturing unhealthy and non-essential food.
These people really are the perfect useful idiots – convincing U.K. people to use more gas and electric, whilst protesting against U.K. energy independence and on-shore gas development.
It’s really amazing to watch them in action.
Robots programmed to destroy the infrastructure of the target nation, could not do a better job!!!


The Greenpeacers weren’t looking all that green, so the considerate farmer, at his own expense, gave ’em some fertilizer to perk ’em up. The ungrateful bastets.

Robin Hewitt

Have a care when you trifle with Nanny McFee.

Bruce Cobb

Well, green and red do make brown.

Good one! Can’t argue with that.

David Becker

I presume the Thompson sisters walked to the farm, or rode bicycles with no steel or aluminum in them. And that the clothes they are wearing are made out of cotton or wool fabrics only prepared entirely from water wheel driven power. And Sophie is not really cooking on a metal stove using propane, is she? Without petroleum fuels, these hypocrites would be standing naked in a field cooking over a wood fire. There is a certain special kind of ignorance that goes along with this sort of stance.

Jenn Runion

Spinning and weaving can be done by hand, no power required. The skills are as old as human civilization but I seriously doubt these modern greenies have ever seen a wheel or loom except as a prop in a movie, much less would know how to use them. And evennif they did, it would take too much time from their law breaking adventures to encourage people to reject modern conveniences and embrace that which they know nothing of…because it’s “morally” correct. I’d love nothing better than to take all these idiots and make them pick/shear, bow/comb, spin and weave a shirt out of cotton/wool respectively. After an hour with very little progress made and muscles hurting I’m convinced they will praise electricity. And celebrate all the people in the textile industry that electricity has made possible. LOL.
Or just sit them down next to a retting stack of flax…let them smell it and they’ll change their tune pretty quickly.
We take clothes and fabric that surrounds us for granted but if you knew what is involved in doing it by hand you’d understand and be grateful for the energy to have machines do it for you.
Just an opinion from a spinner and weaver. 🙂

I think the common farmer may have more sense than most of the USA population. If only we could randomly pick one to be president. (could not be worse than the A##s we normally get)
~ Mark


But not a puppet farmer like Jimmy Carter

I can think of a few farmers who would qualify. Most of them have farms of less than 400 acres and understand the problems of government overreach, noxious neighbors, and overly restrictive rules and regulations at the local, state and federal level. They also understand you can’t spend money you don’t have and know how to prioritize what spending there is to gain maximum effect.
Sounds like a good background for a future president to me.


Abraham Lincoln was a real dirt farmer. He had a choice: farm the rocky acres (yes, they were well named) or sell them and learn law.
American politics was never the same. But they don’t have anybody with that quality anymore.


For some reason, this reminds me of a nasty case.
A Canadian farmer, Wiebo Lidwig, was rather unpopular with his neighbors because of his anti-sour-gas stance.
His kids were tent camping on his farm.
A bunch of teenagers trespassed on his farm and menaced his kids by driving a pickup truck at them.
One of the trespassing teenagers was shot to death.
The police never found the weapon and could not identify the shooter. No charges were laid. link
I have no clue how the case would have gone if the shooter had been identified. It probably would depend on the quality of Ludwig’s lawyer. It isn’t a stretch to call a pickup truck a deadly weapon. (but I am not a lawyer)
In any event, in every jurisdiction I am aware of, a property owner has the right to use reasonable force to evict tresspassers. Spraying someone with liquid manure sounds like reasonable force to me. 🙂

American conservative Bill Buckley famously said that he would rather be governed by the first 400 people in the Boston telephone book than by the faculty of Harvard University.


Come now, then we’d have tyranny of the As

@ Ben of Houston, don’t we have that now?

CD in Wisconsin

Quotes from the Daily Mail piece:
‘Greenpeace’s Hannah Martin said: ‘We don’t need fracked gas to keep Britain baking.
‘We need renewable energy, like wind and solar. We are fighting for this land to remain frack free.”
Solar energy? In Britain? Is Ms. Martin aware how far north Britain is located on the European map? Did she bother checking with Britain’s meterological service to determine how much sunshine Britain gets in a typical year? In wattage? We aren’t talking about the Mediterranean region here, are we?
“But Ken Cronin, chief executive of UK Onshore Oil and Gas, said it was ‘ironic that Sophie Thompson, who uses gas stoves in videos to promote her own cook books,…….”
I noticed that it appeared to be a cloudy day in those videos on the Dail Mail’s website. What is that word that starts with the letter ‘h’ that I’m thinking of here?


Someone should tell them about this study which claims that wind energy causes significant Climate Change, adding up to 0.72C per decade, which is more than all the warming that alarmists claim CO2 caused in the last century.


A bit of fertilizer for the watermelons.


Leftists have no respect for laws, or other people’s property.

William Mason

Here is the video.


Translation for readers across the pond:
Oop north = Up north. Up north is where poor people with strange acents actually work for a living. You know, getting their hands dirty and making things. While the luvvies from London just call each other daahhrrling and swig champagne all day.
Absolutely Fabulous….


…and we wear clogs and shawls and keep whippets in’t loft!


But the whippet is normally in the brick sht house. The loft is for the pidgeons – tumblers are for racing, not drinking.

UK Sceptic

Don’t forget we oop t’northerners keep the tin bath hung on the wall outside the kitchen. No whippets in our sheethouse. That’s where the chickens roost and the whippets would stop ’em laying.
The tragedy of the Sheetstorm of Woodplumpton is that I live a few miles away in Over Wyre, an even more rural area just north of the Fylde, and didn’t know it was going down. I’d have jumped into my Land Rover (an absolute necessity since the roads around here are prone to regular flooding) and whizzed over to view the spectacle.
An appreciative pat on the back to the farmer who gave ET a smellier pat on the back.

When I get fresh vegetables from my local farmers market, my posh neighbour mutters word ‘yokels’
(hope that this ‘name game’ doesn’t get me into trouble)

UK Sceptic

The Two Ronnies. Two giants of comedy now sadly no longer with us. That clip must be forty years old and it’s still funny.


The Daily Mail article refers to it as “raw sewage”. I don’t think that’s quite accurate, as it is liquefied manure – a useful fertilizer. (And certainly considerably more useful than these “celebrities”, just sayin’.)

Shouldn’t be called sewage unless it comes from a sewer.

Raw sewage is likely has far less solid content than liquefied manure. The latter has enough to pump and spray reliably, but not much more than that.

UK Sceptic

We call it slurry and it stinks to high heaven. You can smell they’ve been muck spreading from miles away.

Tom in Denver

Poor Emma. In this case she doesn’t seem to exhibiting much Sense nor Sensibility

Johann Wundersamer

Thanks Mod – needless to say
it’s just the rememberance that people that first come with accusations Nazi, communist and so on themselves have the wildest dreams of ‘reasonable, unpolitical, non partisan. ..’ Action.

Mark from the Midwest

The odd thing about Emma and her ilk is that they seem to want to provoke an all-out war, but they’re clueless about what will happen to them if that war actually happens. They will all be oshiterated, oops I meant to say obliterated!


Yep, they will be the first to be taken around the back of a remote farm building, lined up against a wall and sprayed with muck.


I wish Yoko had been there too.

John Harmsworth

Poor Yoko. Can’t even get an invite to a manure spraying! They’re too afraid she’ll sing back at them!

Ivor Ward

At least they could have illegally climbed over the gate at the hinge side. Don’t they read the countryside code?



If BP boycotted her mansions and studios, would she sue to force them to drill and refine oil and gas for her?
I’d love to find out.


She’s another “has been” in need of a cause to keep her in the limelight. She needs Greenpeace more than they need her. And no one needs Greenpeace.

Tippy Hedron

Old Joke about Emma Thompson and Kevin Branaugh (when they were still married):
Emma: Honey, where are you?
Kevin: In the kitchen.
Emma: Can I be in it too?

One farmer with an appropriate response to what comes from the Gang Green.
Hope to see more such appropriate treatment of crop damaging fools more often.
Hope the farmer sends dear Dizzy Em an invoice for compacting of his top soil by trespassers..

With that little spray announcement, every time they plan to protest a fracking event, if farmers are involved they should sell tickets for people who want to watch.
Other than that, every farmer is forewarned on how to deal with unwelcome trespassers now.
Bet the eco-loons sue for damages; I hope they’re denied. I’m sure the farmer can arrange a free plain water spray and some bars of soap, off property.

Bad Whisky

We Texans salute you Mr. Farmer, you have successfully spread you fertilizer where it would do the most good…..

The farmer should make that a regular event until they leave. Better still, get the neighbors in to help. It could be the best naturally fertilized patch of land in the country!
I also hope the judge that issued the no trespassing order is angry enough to do something about it. What message does it send that protesters can ignore the courts and ride roughshod over people’s rights? Do the town’s people have to get together and deal with them themselves? There must be many who think it because it’s looking more and more that no one in authority cares.


I think the English farmer could take some lessons from French farmers about spraying liquified manure.

Bank manager Alan Bell told Newcastle magistrates: “There was a large deposit of manure sprayed up the walls to considerable height and lying in a heap outside the door. The effluent was too deep to walk into the bank unless you had waders on.”


Farmers are the backbone of modern civilization. Energy is an essential nutrient for positive progress. Environmental lobbyists, activists, and celebrities, not so much.

Simon Ruszczak

“Emmanure Thompson”, I like it. The woman’s nuttier than a fruit cake (or squirrel shit).


Somebody really needs to do something to stop imbecilic actors and actresses from attempting to use their pretended authority to promote the causes of international socialism.
“{Emma Thompson] took a swipe at old Blighty for being a ‘cake-filled misery-laden grey old island’: ‘A tiny little cloud-bolted, rainy corner of sort-of Europe, a cake-filled misery-laden grey old island.’
As for the right approach to remaining in the EU? ‘We should be taking down borders, not putting them up,’ she explained, before adding that she would ‘of course’ vote to remain in the EU in the upcoming referendum.
Yet despite her assurances, Thompson hasn’t always been such a fan of the vote. In fact back in 2014, the actress said she was encouraged by Russell Brand — the comedian-turned-revolutionary — saying ‘don’t vote’:
‘We’re going to have to have a revolution… I am encouraged by people like Russell Brand saying ‘Don’t vote’. I’ve got to the point where I listen to reports about what’s happening on the FTSE or the Dow Jones and I think I’m in an Orwell.’
Happily no such revolution has put an end to British democracy since Thompson’s comments — so she will still be able to exercise her right to vote in the referendum.” (see link below for more)
What is this issue that she has with cakes?
There she is in the photo eating a cake, and now I discover that she is in general critical of the national consumption of cakes.
Just as she flies all over the world in jet-planes (to collect awards and spend her vast personal wealth) but desires to deny the often poor working British people access to the cheap fossil fuels that lie beneath their feet.
A master of hypocrisy. She couldn’t be more full of shit, if you attached that muck spreader directly to her face.
Since she is so keen on shoving her shit down our throats, then I feel that the image was not wholly gratuitous or unjustified.
The acting world seems to create some of the most ignorant yet simultaneously arrogant human beings on the planet.
They are extremely troubling and dangerous people.