Friday Funny – screwy thinking for Earth Day

We’ve known for some time that the eco-minded tend to think that humans are a bad thing. For example, there’s the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement:

That’s no joke, it is a real organization. What follows is something I thought was just a  clever April Fools Joke, but sadly turns out to be only too real. So real in fact, it may be powerful enough to buzzkill all the effects of a Barry White album.

No, it isn’t an April fools joke. The website and the product is real, which you can see here.

They even have a distributor network, and unsurprisingly, the land of fruits and nuts is ground zero.

The caption for the polar bear wrapper reads:


An international icon of global warming, the polar bear is going extinct as the Arctic sea ice melts beneath its feet because of the greenhouse gas emissions of 7 billion people — especially those in high-consumption nations like the United States. The bear was put on the U.S. endangered species list in 2008.

Some of the other wrappers are hilarious here’s another:


This inch-tall, curly-tailed fish occurs only in shallow seagrass areas in the Gulf of Mexico, along the Atlantic Coast of Florida and in the Caribbean. Unfortunately, as the Gulf gets more crowded and industrialized, this seahorse faces more threats to its existence. Widespread loss of seagrass habitat due to pollution, boat damage and global war.

Maybe we could get Josh to come up with some condom wrapper art for the climate skeptic movement.

I’m thinking of some slogans like:

  • Party like its 1999 (before GISS adjustments).
  • Hot times ahead – NOT!
  • My head just exploded! Romm bam, thank you ma’am!
  • The heat is missing, and it’s a travesty!
  • Use before hiding the decline

Discretion, please, in comments – Anthony


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Anthony, may I suggest ; “Use to hide decline”

Pass the Kool-Aid!


Picturing a dwarf seahorse is condom enough for me.


Is that a Hockey Stick in your pants or are you just pleased to see me?

Paul Westhaver

Birth rates among liberals (leftists) are at 1.3 births per couple. Among Conservative (right Leaning) is 2.7 children per couple. I did the math on this and it does not speak well for leftists.
In 4 generations 100K leftists will shrink to about 18,000 people per generation. In the same time the right leaning people will swell to 330.000 people per generation. (making lots of assumptions)
In 4 generations the right leaning pro reproduction people will out number the leftists by 18:1.
In effect, the leftists are committing social suicide. I say don’t get in their way. Let us just make sure that their diseased POV does not infect the rest of the world.

Mark Hladik

The faster we can get CAGW believers to extinctify themselves, the better off we all will be (luxuriating in a world rich with CO2, enjoying the warm, tropical beaches of the NWT and Baffin Island … … … ).
Let’s all do our part!!
Mark H.


Cover your Hockey Stick!

Pamela Gray

I can’t think of anything funny that would not be snipped! I’ve already erased at least 10 comments that were waaayyy over the top.


OK Tiny, good one, you beat me to it!

Avoid Terran Venus–cover your…

Vince Causey

How about a porcupine packet – containing real spines for that lacerating feel.

Paul Westhaver

Read: The Empty Cradle by Philip Longman, regular contributor to The Economist.


You math is great, but you forgot to factor in the public education system.

Paul Nevins

It is always best to lead by example. I very much hope that proponents of this cause will show us the way as quickly as possible.


Anthropophobia made easy…


Paul, that reminds me of the scenario portrayed in “Idiocracy”. Now obviously, conservatives aren’t idiots, but I wouldn’t mind smoking some Tarlingtons while drinking my Brawndo. And I would totally vote for Camacho, we could use a president with a little more testosterone.

VHEMT are absurd. They want mankind to disappear because we’re bad. But any species willing to sacrifice itself is of course good. Therefore if we decided to commit mass suicide we’d be doing something wrong. Back to square one.


STI, UHI, both spreading like a virus.
Fiddle with your stats and you’ll go blind.
Adjusting your stats in public could lead to arrest… eventually
Protect your email or she won’t respect you in the morning.
Be a big Mann and cover up… whatever needs covering.
Watch where you’re sticking that Stevenson’s screen.


“A rubber a day, keeps humanity away.”
I still prefer “Live Long and Prosper”… it’s the Vulcan way.

It’s the global war on sea grass that bothers me.


this seahorse faces more threats to its existence…….
Florida Bay is ~1000 sq miles…
…male dwarf seahorses need ~4 sq ft of territory, females don’t care
that gives habitat for ~7 million dwarf sea horses

Vince Causey

Given that, as far as we know, humans are the only intelligent technological life in the universe – then pushing for extinction becomes a whole lot bigger issue than saving the planet.
Suppose that, in fact, planets with biospheres are relatively common in our corner of the galaxy, but nowhere does intelligent life – much less advanced technological life – evolve. Then surely, a simple argument based on preserving scarcity, would be to preserve the human race first. Unless of course, voluntary euthanasia becomes our only solution to the unbearable lonliness that may befall our distant descendants.

More Soylent Green!

If I really had nothing better to do, I would go to an Earth Day event with a VHEM sign-up form. To make it more fun, I’d bring along somebody to film with a flip-cam. This could make great footage.

Mike McMillan

Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, The

I want my Hockey Stick Jollies
Is that a sharp uptick in your trend?
Man-made Global Hots
Find the Missing Hot Spot
I’ll be Polar if you’re Bare


“Think of the Environment – Recycle This Bag”

Wait, what? Birth control is free? Hey! Someone should send this to Mz Fluke!!!!
Do we need anymore proof that the enviro whack jobs are misanthropists?


You could only be hotter if you had a big jet and a mile of runway.
Your rise would look bigger if you dropped your starting points.
Protect yourself, you can’t tell by looking if someone’s suffering from HadCRUT.
It’s not the size of your temperature rise that matters, it’s what you do with it.

When I first read “Endangered species condoms” I thought, how do the get the polar bears to wear them?
I’m just slow, I guess.

Bob Diaz

Assume that somehow all humans are gone, then what? Given enough time, the sun will turn to a red giant and consume the Earth anyway. In the end, everything is gone, the only difference is when.

Gary Pearse

Saving polar bears can be dangerous to your health. One broke into several houses in Newfoundland and was shot. Note the arctic ice is jammed against the north shore of Newf. You can walk from Newfoundland to Tokyo this year (Arctic ice jammed against Hokkaido, too) See References Pages above: Sea Ice

Chuck L

Let’s I hope they are not “all talk and no action.”

Mike M

If we extinct ourselves there won’t be one animal out there that’s going to realize let alone appreciate that we sacrificed ourselves for them.

Brian H

If that organization wasn’t hypocritical, its membership would keep collapsing, requiring massive new recruiting drives. But with few left to actually conduct them. What to do, what to do??

Brian H

I suspect the group is really condommunist.


This condom has been checked by Lord Oxburgh, Sir Muir Russell, Penn State, East Anglia Uni and the Science and Technology Committee. Disclaimer – This is a joke product and should not be used as protection from embarassing mistakes.


after the wine and before the decline, strip, bark and pine

cui bono

Paul Westhaver says (March 30, 2012 at 10:40 am)
Birth rates among liberals (leftists) are at 1.3 births per couple. Among Conservative (right Leaning) is 2.7 children per couple
Think of it as Evolution in action. Worthy of a Darwin Award for raising the average IQ of humanity a little each year…
Meanwhile, worrisome conversations:
I said I liked ribbed, not bristlecone pine (ouch!)
Don’t worry, it probably happened to lots more men in the Little Ice Age.
You’re not going to kill many bats with that!
Do I have to wait for the next decadal oscillation?
So that was a GISS-adjusted length you were boasting about…


They were at this same game last summer.
Amy Harwood, Human Overpopulation Organizer, runs the “Human Overpopulation campaign” including the Endangered Species Condom project for the “Center for biological diversity”
She wrote a rebuttal to a post on “The Great Distraction: ‘Overpopulation’ Is Back in Town”
by Betsy Hartmann
Here’s Amy’s ahem “rebuttal”
Warning your IQ will drop if you read the comments ;¬)

Interstellar Bill

Every time I see people with babies I personally thank them on behalf of God, country, and the human race.
When I see their happy children laughing, I think of the grim future the Greens plan for them, and hope we can prevent the Big Takeover that is dismayingly well under way.

Mark Bofill

And I thought my dog was dumb.


Would you like Viagra with that?
Why aren’t these people institutionalized?


Don’t worry, Mann’s rise is exaggerated, too.

Milwaukee Bob

“There is only one logical place to start voluntary extinction, Captain. That would be with the one who came up with the idea.”
“Yes, Mr. Spock. Your logic is infallable as always. It would also help clean-up the gene pool. But then who or what would provide us with Friday Funnies?”
“Hmmm, yes Captain. As always – – you do have a point there.”


Edit to last post:
People are as much a part of the ecology of this planet as anything else, and therefore not a problem for the planet, spotted owls and polar bears notwithstanding. That said there are people who are a problem for other people at various scales from individual to cultural. Been that way forever, and those problems eventually get resolved one way or another.
My itch is with those in various positions of authority/influence who insist that “they have the answer” for saving the planet from humanity. Which, if you drill down thru all the BS, ends up being an artificial (as opposed to a natural ) reduction in the human population.
Of course, they never volunteer to lead the charge over the cliff, opting instead for annual meetings in exotic locales to bemoan and berate the world for not jumping thru their flaming hoops of impending disaster; and blackmailing and extorting their way to financial and political power on the backs of the masses – who they claim to represent. Bah. I’ve heard that snake oil pitch before.


gnomish says:
March 30, 2012 at 11:39 am
after the wine and before the decline, strip, bark and pine
A lot of great lines but gnomish has my favorite so far.
It always gets me that the “decrease the surplus population” always thinks everyone else but themselves are the surplus population.
This calls for an appropriate curse; may all those condoms be spiked with capsaicin.


IPCC condoms – Full of holes and past the sell by date.
IPCC orgy – If you’re not going to cover up, you won’t be asked to join in.

Helen Hawkins

For some unfathomable reason I find a great deal of comfort in one undeniable truth: The future belongs to people whose parents had children. As a grandma, I love babies and rejoiced in the birth of each and everyone of my grandchildren.
I do not understand and I truely pity people like the VHEMT. With out the hope, joy and laughter of children, it must be a sad and lonely existence for them.

Stephen Skinner

The End is Nnngh


1. Mr Watts, I heard about these people back in 2008, I kinda surprised you hadn’t heard of them before.
2. Lucy Skywalker -LOL I like your tags.