Friday Funny – A Nurses Guide to the Apocalypse

People send me stuff.

Today I got this cartoon from an unexpected source; a website dedicated to medical nursing professionals. Apparently, they take the same sort of dim view about the Climate Change Apocalypse as they do the Zombie Apocalypse, but at least they have the good sense to laugh about it.

Of course, by making fun of climate change in the same satire with the Zombie Apocalypse, I’m pretty sure they are now on Lewandowsky’s and Cook’s nutter radar.

A Nurse's Guide to the Apocalypse
Source: TheNursingBible.com

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54 Responses to Friday Funny – A Nurses Guide to the Apocalypse

  1. AleaJactaEst says:

    to paraphrase one of your most revered sons….” in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and nurses…”.

  2. Chris B says:

    OMG, WWZ,…… and…… warmer temperatures. It’s worse than I thought.

  3. William says:

    Awesome!

  4. Jason Calley says:

    Wow! The poster says “20 million climate refugees in 2008″. Anyone seen them lately? I could believe that figure if the date was 1936. Lots of Okies and such back then…

  5. Ian says:

    Love the “facts” about Zombies.
    Who knew there were only two types!

  6. SasjaL says:

    Inhalers & astma medication (decreased air quality)

    If so, the decreased air quality are caused due to the BS the AGW community are spreading. That require only psychiatric medicin for the AGW’ers to solve that problem …

    The last headline “ZOMBIES reminds me about the process behind the AGW community’s arguments …

  7. Robin says:

    It gets worse. How about a site dedicated to Zombie-Based Learning so middle schoolers will be engaged in their schoolwork? http://www.zombiebased.com

    I first heard about this when Joel Klein, former NYC Schools Chancellor and now head of Rupert Murdoch’s digital learning empire, Amplify, bragged that it would help create new kinds of minds.

    Yes, ones that will believe in CAGW fervently because of all the graphic modelling of it during their school years on the to be ubiquitous laptops.

  8. JohnWho says:

    Well, if Climate Change causes an Asteroid Impact (some say it will, you know) which then effectively sets off Nuclear Winter, will this save us from a Zombie Apocalypse?

    If so, here’s just one more reason to do nothing about Climate Change: it will save us from a Zombie Apocalypse!

  9. tomwys says:

    Not sure why Climate Change heads the list.

    Maybe because it is the most ludicrous of all???

  10. Pete says:

    Thanks for the Friday laughs.

    Yagottaluvit!

  11. Box of Rocks says:

    Really?

    I want a refund, I want my 5 minutes back.

    But at least someone has a sense of humor….

  12. Gibby says:

    Something about linking to the original web site makes my outgoing email server and other government servers hate it… they keep thinking it is some sort of spam bot??

  13. Steve (Paris) says:

    Now I know what I want for Christmas!

  14. Bruce Cobb says:

    Nurses on the whole are a practical lot. They have to be.
    Here’s what they say about the U.S. – “The Rx Nation” http://www.thenursingbible.com/pill-nation/
    I like their picture of a nurse. I’ve seen many like that.
    Not.

  15. Joel O'Bryan says:

    What I find “Ignobel-ly” insightful from this cartoon (as in from improbable.com) is that the scenarios presented proceed in an increasing order of likelihood.

  16. Bob Rogers says:

    If I was preparing for the Zombies I think I would include beer.

  17. ossqss says:

    That better be a 4 stroke chainsaw in California or solar powered. 2 stroke chainsaws have been determined to cause cancer there or some sort of unproven problem. /sarc

  18. richard says:

    As it’s Friday funny though you might like to look at the size of co2 generating machines used in agriculture, these must cost a small fortune,

    Pleased to see that the info comes from the Ontario ministry of agriculture and food- Carbon Dioxide In Greenhouses,

    Last reviewed 8/09

    http://www.omafra.gov.on.ca/english/crops/facts/00-077.htm

    This extract amused me-

    “The main advantages of using liquid CO2 include purity of product, no concerns about crop damage, nor heat or moisture production, better control of CO2 levels and the flexibility to introduce the CO2 within the plant canopy at any time”

    and

    Leaks in the greenhouse allow a continuous infiltration of outside air, which contains only 340 ppm CO2.

  19. Tucci78 says:

    Well, there’s something for me to pass along to my favorite nursing student.

  20. Larry Geary says:

    Wow! The poster says “20 million climate refugees in 2008″. Anyone seen them lately?

    Yes. They work as extras in zombie movies.

  21. D.J. Hawkins says:

    SasjaL says:
    March 21, 2014 at 7:33 am
    “Inhalers & astma medication (decreased air quality)”

    If so, the decreased air quality are caused due to the BS the AGW community are spreading. That require only psychiatric medicin for the AGW’ers to solve that problem …

    The last headline “ZOMBIES reminds me about the process behind the AGW community’s arguments …

    Aeorsolized rodent feces is a primary cause of Hanta virus infection. Anyone know where Mann, Hansen et al have been hanging out, lately? I’d lke to avoid that locality.

  22. JimS says:

    Good night nurse!

  23. D.J. Hawkins says:

    richard says:
    March 21, 2014 at 8:42 am
    As it’s Friday funny though you might like to look at the size of co2 generating machines used in agriculture, these must cost a small fortune,…

    Unless you need the heat, I can’t see this being economical. My company uses CO2. Our last bulk purchase, this month for 4,800 lbm cost $648, less delivery charges. For smaller locations, I have to belive a tank is the best option.

  24. JDN says:

    From my end, it looks like their server is having a hard time keeping up. Is there any way to cache the image on wordpress?

  25. DesertYote says:

    Jason Calley says:
    March 21, 2014 at 7:30 am

    Wow! The poster says “20 million climate refugees in 2008″. Anyone seen them lately? I could believe that figure if the date was 1936. Lots of Okies and such back then…
    ###

    They are in Miami and Phoenix.

  26. ilma630 says:

    So increased CO2 now causes reduced air quality? hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA Do they not understand that man’s CO2 accounts for that HUGE proportion of ~0.0012% of the atmosphere?

  27. Pete Smith says:

    Zombies can be killed with a chest wound & bleeding out?!

    Please!

    Am I the only one who has watched Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (and the awful remake), all 4 seasons of the Walking Dead, played Left 4 Dead etc.

    The only way to dispatch a zombie is to destroy the brain. I thought everyone knew that!

  28. DirkH says:

    I like that they put up Nuclear Winter together with Global Warming. Somebody’s been paying attention.

    Both fall out of shoddy computer models.
    http://www.textfiles.com/survival/nkwrmelt.txt

  29. littlepeaks says:

    If the nurses all look like that, better stock up on the BP pills (make them industrial strength). As far as allergies are concerned — just went through allergy testing, and I don’t have any. As far as heat, I LIVE on heat. When I was in the Army in 1970 (during the draft), when I was assigned KP duty, I loved being assigned to cleaning pots and pans, etc, because it was so nice and hot and humid in that area. During the summers, my wife and I fight between the choices of air conditioning, or opening the doors and windows to let the hot air in.

  30. Jonathan Berber says:

    Brilliant. Really enjoyed reading the poster.
    Impressively, they even listed their references at the foot of it.
    Highly credible, this should sail through peer-review…

  31. Tim Churchill says:

    Bruce Cobb said:
    “I like their picture of a nurse. I’ve seen many like that.
    Not.”
    Bad luck. I married one like that.

  32. lenbilen says:

    “Inhalers & asthma medication (decreased air quality)”
    The EPA is always ready to help when they banned the CFC propelled inhalers before a suitable alternative was ready for the market. Now there is, at four times the cost All this to reduce the amount of CFC by less than 0.01% or return to base value 3 days earlier in 100 years.
    http://lenbilen.com/2012/02/04/ban-inhalers-to-save-the-environment-fda-and-epa-gone-mad/

  33. I’m sorry, but after some extensive study into zombiism, I have to say that there is nothing approching the quality of a peer-reviewed publication that that infographic references. Zombiism isn’t some transmissible microbe or virus that get spread like rabies from bites, everyone knows that zombies are created either by powerful wizards/shamans/witch doctors who need labour for thier sugar mills (source: “The White Zombie” documentary, 1932) or by wooden aliens seeking world domination (source: “Plan 9 From Outer Space” documentary, 1959).

    Also, Carlos Sagán was utterly wrong about Nucular[sic] Winter.

  34. Steve from Rockwood says:

    I’m concerned about Atlanta. They’ve had some serious problems with Zombies as reported on the American Medical Community (AMC) broadcast last Sunday. Recently a number of Zombies have been seen around a university in Pennsylvania. At first they were thought to be harmless…

  35. Pete says:

    Zombies … they’re all over the place!

    And here I thought they lived in a Long Island cemetery.

  36. motogeek says:

    Zombies can be killed with a chest wound & bleeding out?!

    Please!

    Am I the only one who has watched Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (and the awful remake), all 4 seasons of the Walking Dead, played Left 4 Dead etc.

    The only way to dispatch a zombie is to destroy the brain. I thought everyone knew that!
    ***************************************
    I think they’re talking specifically about fast zombies… like 28 days later. Those zombies die of starvation. Although they don’t care about wounds per se, they are still crippled by them… and still die from the same things that other humans die from..

    28 days later zombies are merely humans infected with the “Rage” virus.

    BTW, the remake of Dawn of the Dead was spectacular.

  37. mike says:

    I just can’t believe that at a time like this we have supposedly “intelligent” people making “nurse” jokes! What’s wrong with you people, anyway!

    Google: “charles hurt washington times $75K a day over a pond”. DO IT!!! READ THE ARTICLE!!! And, please, don’t ever say you “didn’t know”, when they frog-march your “Sgt Schultz” wannabe butt to some kangaroo-court, Hague tribunal–O. K.!

    Look people, we’re talkin’ the very head of the EPA–Gina McCarthy, for Pete’s sake!–sitting at her headquarters building and loosing her raw and untreated feces–her stool!, her excrement!, her poop!, her “caca boudin”!–into the Potomac River, no less!!!

    I can just hear you people, now!: “Hey! A tight-ass obsessive-compulsive, like Gina, what’s the most we’re lookin’ at?–just a few compacted, decorous fecal-pellets, now and then”, you say! “It’s like worrying about rabbit-scat”, you say! “Don’t get so worked up–chill out!”, you say! Well, people, it’s not so simple as that. NO!!! Gina has enlisted all her brainwashed, EPA-underling merde-flunkies, assigned to her headquarters building, to follow her lead and fill up the Potomac–that great historic river–with their own eco-turds, as well! And don’t forget, Gina’s dookie-mafia is made up of vegans (the HORROR!), in the main!!!!

    Sometimes I just have to wonder just what kind of “communications strategy” it takes to get you people to give a “shit”, for once!

  38. Man Bearpig says:

    Cllimate Zombies. Is that a referebce to the sks kidz?

  39. Crispin in Waterloo says:

    What is the point of trying to kill a zombie by destroying their brain when apparently they don’t have/use a brain. This zombie thing has as many internal contradictions as the vampire shows.

    What about vampire nurses? Felis Nutrices
    And zombie nurses? Crapula Autem Nutrices
    What should the bring?

    Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

  40. Ed Zuiderwijk says:

    Love the chainsaw.

  41. Jeff says:

    For a minute there Ithought you meant Paul Nurse…now that would have been a disaster…..

    (to wit: Climate change: we’ve put off the difficult decisions for too long
    The debate isn’t whether global warming exists – it’s what we do about it.
    link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/10701265/Climate-change-weve-put-off-the-difficult-decisions-for-too-long.html )

    (OK, OK, back to nursing my favorite beverage…).

  42. Patricia says:

    But the climate Zombies are already here!

  43. Ralph Kramdon says:

    That’s a good looking nurse. I didn’t notice the rest of the poster.

  44. RWTH says:

    Not sure about lumping asteroid impact in with that lot.

  45. Eugene WR Gallun says:

    gotta love it!

    Eugene WR Gallun

  46. Patrick says:

    Best zombie movie IMO is Sean of the Dead. British comedy spoof!

  47. Robert of Texas says:

    I think this has more science behind it than climate change… I will therefore take it more seriously.

  48. Michael Cook says:

    I did have a nurse for a recent surgery who looked exactly like that one on the poster. Of course, she only came to me after I had to count backwards and got this glowy feeling. . .

  49. bushbunny says:

    Watch ‘Resurrection’ – our time is near. LOL

  50. John R T says:

    littlepeaks says: March 21, 2014 at 9:33 am
    “I loved being assigned to cleaning pots and pans, etc, …”
    and, because NO ONE bothered me. Best job in the army

  51. bushbunny says:

    Littlepeaks, sure beats being shot at. LOL.

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