UPDATE: co-author admits it is a “horrible mistake”, see below – Anthony
From the you’ve got to be effing kidding me department.
First, I apologize to my readers for the headline. Read on and I think you’ll see it is justified. The headline is paraphrased from the article and the paper to give you the flavor. I have reproduced the passage used by the Guardian and provided a link to the full paper below.
First, the Guardian story: (h/t to reader “a jones”)
Now the paper, peer reviewed and published in Acta Astronautica titled:
Would Contact with Extraterrestrials Benefit or Harm Humanity? A Scenario Analysis
Seth D. Baum,1 Jacob D. Haqq-Misra,2 & Shawn D. Domagal-Goldman3
1. Department of Geography, Pennsylvania State University.
2. Department of Meteorology, Pennsylvania State University
3. NASA Planetary Science Division
Acta Astronautica, 2011, 68(11-12): 2114-2129
Here’s the relevant passage:
A preemptive strike [from extraterrestrials] would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilization may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilizational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of Earth’s atmosphere (e.g. via greenhouse gas emissions), which therefore changes the spectral signature of Earth. While it is difficult to estimate the likelihood of this scenario, it should at a minimum give us pause as we evaluate our expansive tendencies.
Words fail me. Truly this is science fiction, and not the good kind. I have a feature called “Climate Craziness of the Week”, this may be the all time winner.
Read the entire paper here (PDF)
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UPDATE: Former Economist sci/tech reporter Oliver Morton chips in with this in comments, it seems a “horrible mistake” was made by the co-author. Still no word on how this passes peer review.
http://paleblueblog.org/post/9110304050/some-important-points-of-clarification
So here’s the thing. This isn’t a “NASA report.” It’s not work funded by NASA, nor is it work supported by NASA in other ways. It was just a fun paper written by a few friends, one of whom happens to have a NASA affiliation.
…
But I do admit to making a horrible mistake. It was an honest one, and a naive one… but it was a mistake nonetheless. I should not have listed my affiliation as “NASA Headquarters.” I did so because that is my current academic affiliation. But when I did so I did not realize the full implications that has. I’m deeply sorry for that, but it was a mistake born our of carelessness and inexperience and nothing more. I will do what I can to rectify this, including distributing this post to the Guardian, Drudge, and NASA Watch. Please help me spread this post to the other places you may see the article inaccurately attributed to NASA.
Neo says:
August 18, 2011 at 9:12 pm
“———When the friendly, PC woman scientist, learns exactly what he means when he says he is there to save the Earth (destroy mankind), she tries to convince him to change his intentions.”
Obviously, the movie failed because it was counter to reality, the PC scientist would have said ” Great, let’s get started !” But, she didn’t need the Aliens, she has the Greens 🙁
They must have gotten paid by the word….
Me? I’d have made, at $1/word, 7 bucks.
We won’t know till they get here.
Look. There’s a guy sitting over there in some kind of technician’s garb…
His hands are covering his face. He’s rythmically rocking back and forth saying
to no one in particular, “This is not happening. This is not happening !”
I think he was a scientist who, in good faith, staked his reputation and career
on the proposition that AGW was a demonstrably valid hypothosis.
In this case “peer reviewed” means some actors read it.
That’s explain it …. Al Gore is an alien. He’s the preemptive strike.
Wow! Can you imagine how viral a youtube video of the destruction of the world would go? Ya mon! And when they do it, I wanna be right at ground zero and feel that special ET love while I’m being vaporized… into another form of… GREENHOUSE GAS! Bwahaaaaa!!!!
I don’t know if it’s a NASA report, but I skimmed the paper, and it seems to me the Guardian article is accurate as to both the content and the conclusions.
Maybe it is possible to have faster-than-light travel using wind-power or solar…
I have the solution
So Simple
A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
C. In three generations, there will be no Greens.
I love it when a plan comes together so simply
After 9/11 the left tried to put their own grievances in the mouths of al Qaeda, warning that we needed to become less capitalist, less imperialist, less prosperous, less consuming of resources, less racist (their accusation), more equalitarian, more socialist, more accepting of stone age intolerance, etcetera, if we wanted to avoid further “backlash.” Now they are putting their own grievances in the mouths of E.T..
Very simply, it is THEY–in this case a cadre of NASA approved leftists–that want to destroy mankind, and their war against prosperity is well in control of the levers of power in many western countries, the worst example being the United States.
Also, TimM’s comment, “To Serve Mann,” is the thread winner.
Taking a clue from the picture I’m guessing they will start in Vegas with a ‘Sex Bomb’.
If I can stop laughing for a few moments, there could be a serious side to this. Maybe Guardian readers will suddenly realise that they’ve been hoaxed and then defrauded all along.
Please don’t be too concerned! We Australians are happy to provide the billions we will collect from our Carbon Tax to put towards weapon research to hold off the coming alien invasion.
As one commenter on the Guardian aritlcle aptly noted:-
“I guess this is what is considered work at NASA now that the space shuttle program is dead.”
One really shouldn’t mock the afflicted (suppresse another laughing fit) … but it’s wonderful to see that the spirit of Robert Sheckley is still alive and well, and producing those superbly hilarious off-beat SF scenarios. I’m guessing that in book two the aliens will realise that our CO2 has been heating the whole solar system and run away in terror of their lives. More, please!
Across the Vast Expanse of Space
What technology
is needed to traverse a
great galactic span?
NASA’s scientists
can calulate the figures
if anyone can.
Aliens, they yell,
<a href="http://allrightallright.blogspot.com/2011/08/aliens-plan-to-destroy-evil-human.html"will construct starships and come
to earth and kill man.
(Of course, those beings,
many centuries ago,
must have hatched their plan.)
Alternatively,
they suggest, we could impose
a coal-burning ban;
then, from far away,
aliens would halt our doom
before it began.
Look on the bright side that’s about it for scare stories and AGW, what’s left? Well not to tempt fate but couldn’t all this CO2 stop the earth spinning?
The greatest scienctific research ever under taken?
Madder than a bag of cats.
Geoff C says: August 18, 2011 at 2:57 pm
“If aliens can detect any fingerprint of intelligent life on earth, it will be our electronics communications.”
What is it about people that ignore the bleeding obvious!!!
Look at the ceiling!! What do you see? Look at the sky (at night) what do you see? Look down a telescope in any urban environment … what do you see?
Human created light! Light modulated at various harmonics of 5Hz light that is millions billions trillions? of times larger than any of the stupid “beacons to extraterrestrial life”.
Indeed, if any alien were to look at the bleedingly obvious signal of human created light and the signals from all that mains cabling and its harmonics, the one conclusion they will draw is that:
The world is controlled by two empires/religions, one based on the 60Hz “faith” and the other on 50Hz. They will then be able to plot the progression and growth of each empire draw fabulous “representations” of the churches of the 50Hz and 60Hz religions and no doubt show the high priests of the religions in their coats of flashing colours with tenticles hanging out.
They have some weird dreams over at NASA
I’ve checked and these people seem to be serious.
So is it OK if I add Seth D. Baum, Jacob D. Haqq-Misra, & Shawn D. Domagal-Goldman to the list of people who should never be believed about anything?
Bill Parsons said on August 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mann4.jpg
Gee, I don’t know, I have seen bigger…
Huh, that’s strange. His eyes seem to be following me as I move around… Like they’re watching me somehow… I can feel those dark beady orbs peering into my soul…
===
Noticed this on Michael Mann’s Wikipedia entry when finding the pic, note it now before it’s “disappeared” as too revealing:
I’m uncertain, given Wikipedia’s partially chaotic nature, if all three of these together are Reference 17 or just the first with the other two unnumbered/forgotten in the reference list:
So The Guardian is quite happy with Mann’s pet blog creation as it’s part of their “Environmental Network.” And they decided this chunk of craptastic goodness from Mann’s stomping grounds was worthy of the slaughter of quadrillions of innocent electrons to broadcast it to the world.
An ongoing conspiracy to misinform and deceive the public into believing CAGW? Gee, why would anyone think that?
They seem obsessed in making false links between c02 and other factors – that’s their mindset.
c02 may cause global warmnig
co2 may cause aliens to invade.
what next?
I got one:
greenhouse gases may cause the universe to implode
The best thing is the Guardian comments. Has to be bad for that lot to go against it!