Hey I'm a reverend!

Our local weekly has a few words to say in the column Green Man

Too funny!

UPDATE: It appears “Green Man” doesn’t write his own material. See this. Either that or it was “borrowed” later, or “Green Man” is also “blueness”. Either way, with the additional feature of “Green Man’s” ability to publish attacks on people in a weekly newspaper anonymously, it’s “journalism” at it’s very very finest.

UPDATE 2: Surfacestations.org volunteer Gary Boden took the Chico Beat Green Man’s concept and turned it into an emblem patch. Enjoy.

mercury_monkey_station.jpg

Note that Green Man’s “screeching mercury monkeys” concept isnt far off the Chico Beat’s original angry monkey logo, seen below, which they don’t use anymore because it apparently scared away advertisers. Imagine that.

Chico Beat logo

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46 thoughts on “Hey I'm a reverend!

  1. Hmmmm.

    Searched for “liberalism”
    No pages were found containing “liberalism”.

    Searched for “liberals”
    No pages were found containing “liberals”.

  2. “Sorry bud, ya aint gettin no ten percent from me ;)”
    True, but you’ll soon be paying a “carbon tithing” to the church across the street.
    BTW I’d point out that the Green Man article accepts comments too.

  3. That’s it! AWatts you are no more. You’ve been rechristened.
    Henceforth you shall be known as Rev. Dubya!
    (Besides, it goes well in tandem with “St. Mac”.)

  4. Just when you thought the Chico Beat folks could not be more asinine they manage to outdo themselves.
    [snip]
    [snip]

  5. Re: BTW I’d point out that the Green Man article accepts comments too.
    Why would anyone even bother?

  6. Green Man seems to be a little dim in his knowledge of the Enlightenment. It is the AGW people who are demanding that skeptics be silenced and tried for treason against mankind, not the other way around.
    He puts everyone he disagrees with in one pot. Skeptics are all uneducated dolts arguing things they don’t understand with PhDs (apparently the PhDs awarded to McIntyre, Spencer, Christy, Soon, McKitrick, Baliunas, Svendmark, Ball, Singer et al were honorary titles bestowed upon them by Exxon University), we all want more and bigger wars in the Middle East, we all eat our children etc.
    This guy is Cotton Mather on steroids. Substitute Satan for Exxon, Christ for Hansen, Hell for Global Warming, the Apostles for RealClimate.org and witches for skeptics and you would have a perfect replica of a 17th century witch hunt.
    There’s no point in posting on his blog. You’d be more effective sending an email to Charlie Manson explaining why murder is bad.

  7. Why would anyone even bother?
    To comiserate with Greenmans mother. Sweet old silver haired lady is problably beating herself up inside thinking where she went wrong raising him.
    Plus she might be his only reader.
    It’s not your fault Mother Green.

  8. For reasons that now escape me, I left a comment there. I am not under the illusion that it will have any useful effect. I said:
    quote
    Regarding your remarks (how _very_ California!) about Mr. Watts’ report.
    When we noticed the trees dying (I lived in California from 1939 until 1989) we were told that it was caused by the smog.
    Then it was the acid rain.
    And about the time we left it was the onset of the new ice age. Or was it the “nuclear winter” caused by atom bombs — or maybe volcanoes, since they throw up even more dust.
    Now it is due to the global warming (which has been going on since before we started keeping records).
    Since we left in 1989, we are sort of behind on the news. What were the official explanations between “ice age” and “global warming”?
    unquote.
    We do need to remember that Chico is in the part of the state that produces California’s largest cash crop. For local consumption.

  9. “Skeptics are all uneducated dolts arguing things they don’t understand . . . ” [said in irony]
    Well, actually, that describes me pretty well.
    But, gosh, laymen have to vote on these things, and the basic agruments are not completely beyond the grasp of nonprofessionals.
    Should we leave the decision to go to war with the generals (‘the professionsals”) and not the amateur civilians? I think not! Same principle applies to the science vs. policy issue.
    I would assume Greenman, himself, is on the same side of the education door in this regard as I am: i.e., on the outside.
    If it weren’t for the truly hideous prediction record of the environmental movement ever since the’60s (resouces, population, etc., etc.), I’d be more prone to take the IPPC at it’s word. (Yes, I know the IPPC isn’t Paul Ehrlich or Dennis Meadows, BUT . . .)
    Of course, this nonsense about withholding data and methods puts the IPPC and others entirely out of court.

  10. Introducing The Satire Smiley
    From time to time there is a comment post in this blog that is satirical, sardonic, ironic, sarcastic, mocking, wry, exaggerated, etc.
    As I have discovered (on at least one occasion) a post reader may misunderstand the intended lampoonery and take the language at face value.
    To avoid confusion I have devised the Satire Smiley to cover such occasions when the ironic nature of a message might be misconstrued. It is made with a semicolon, dash and end bracket sequence, thusly — ;-]
    For example:
    Green-Man is pure genius.
    becomes
    Green-Man is pure genius. ;-]
    Utilization of the Satire Smiley should clear up any confusion when the language of a post, hindered by the absence of non-verbal cues and vocal inflection, might have its true meaning misjudged.
    No need to thank me, my immense capacity for modesty and humility precludes the necessity for accolades. It was my humble pleasure. ;-]

  11. I choked up when I read “…without the tolerance fostered by liberalism…”.
    Think of how bad things would be without that “tolerance”.
    Does this mean you can perform weddings, Anthony?

  12. “No, but I can divorce datasets.”
    And all the rest of the world seems to have given in to the urge to merge.

  13. Sign me up for a quickie, Las Vegas style, dataset divorce. If a faux Elvis can be found to serve as notary, so much the better.

  14. A screeching mercury monkey like His Holiness The Right Reverend Anthony W. T. F. Watts will no doubt furiously fling alternative explanations.
    A column full of nothing but spittle-flecked invective and fantasy-based stereotypes, and this guy is accusing other people of being hysterics?
    I kind of like the “screeching mercury monkey” epithet, though. Does it apply to the volunteer surveyors, too? Anthony’s Mercury Monkeys.

  15. Julie,
    “Screeching Mercury Monkey” would be a great name for a band.
    It might even appeal to those who indulge in Chico’s largest cash crop.

  16. I bet if Greenman found out about the site with the pot plants he would be an Insta-Screeching Mercury Monkey.

  17. Re: “Screeching Mercury Monkey” would be a great name for a band.
    It might even appeal to those who indulge in Chico’s largest cash crop.
    Steve, I think you are onto something here. Obviously you have a fine tuned sense of Chico’s bong culture. There might be some money to be made here.

  18. Re: A column full of nothing but spittle-flecked invective and fantasy-based stereotypes, and this guy is accusing other people of being hysterics?
    Julie, welcome to the weird and bizarre world that the Chico green and left live in. The Chico Beat and Green-Man are a paradigm.

  19. “without the tolerance fostered by liberalism…”
    To be fair, this is, on its face, true.
    Of course the phrase, “That was then; this is now,” also springs forcibly to mind.

  20. “Mercury monkeys.” You gotta admit it has a ring.
    You’ve hit the big time, Rev, baby. You’re right up there in the nomenclature with the the sea witches, the cloud minders, and the sun worshippers.

  21. Thanks, guys, for the intro to Chico bong culture. This whole surfacestations project is very educational, in so many unexpected ways.
    I do think that Screeching Mercury Monkeys is catchy. Or how about Reverend Anthony and the Screeching Mercury Monkeys? I like the sound of that, but it’s hard to fit on a gimme cap.

  22. No Al Queda in Iraq?
    Al Queda claims to be in Iraq.
    Some one is misinformed.
    ==
    Anthony,
    I guess you are in the Church of the Doubters. Unlike the Real Church of True Believers.
    Funny that he pegs himself in the right in the beginning.
    In fact the whole screed is a parody of itself, which is not easy to do. If it was intentional it is a masterpiece. Too funny, indeed. If the guy writing it actually believes all that stuff. Too funny indeed.

  23. Interesting how, either out of ignorance or, out of a overt desire to smear, the Killer AGW Orthodoxy try to equate loyal skepticism with neocon theoconism. How would they account for someone like me, who is a “The Origins of Totalitarianism” (Arendt) thumping, reformed Deep Ecologist, former Gaia worshipping, crunchy con? I’m sooooooo incovenient to the stereotype.

  24. Re: M. Simon’s “the whole screed is a parody of itself … If it was intentional it is a masterpiece.”
    I must admit that it occurred to me this could be an intentional satire. A deep left green satirizing the loony, over the top rhetoric of deep left greens. Having a modest familiarity with the character and culture some Chico greens leads me to believe it is the usual, completely oblivious, unintentional self satire these folks are so adept at. Moreover, I am certain Tom Gascoyne and anyone who works on a publication of his take themselves very seriously. I doubt they have the sense of humor subtle enough intentionally satirize themselves, their readership, or their social and political allies.

  25. Re: “…former Gaia worshipping…”
    Gaia, wasn’t that a small, sporty, high mileage car produced by Volkswagen in the 60’s and 70’s?

  26. “How would they account for someone like me, who is a “The Origins of Totalitarianism” (Arendt) thumping, reformed Deep Ecologist, former Gaia worshipping, crunchy con?”
    Converted.
    Mark

  27. “Prior to the Enlightenment, that quintessentially liberal phenomenon…”
    I see so much of this nowadays: equating 18th-Century Liberalism with what passes for “liberal philosophy” today. These people have no sense or understanding of history.
    (And that comes from an unreconstructed 60’s burnout who still thinks “Smash the State” is a viable political alternative)

  28. Well congratulations Reverend and may it be long time before they try to canonise you as a saint.

  29. “Well congratulations Reverend and may it be long time before they try to canonise you as a saint.”
    Well, we already have St. Mac.
    It’s a good “trio of four”, though:
    Our Right Rev. Dubya, St. Mac, and, of course, the Drs. P.
    So we’ll maybe an eye peeled for a climatologist-skeptic named “King”, or “Prince”, or “Bishop” or “Pope” to round out the set.
    (Or at least a “Baron”, or “Knight”, or “Duke”, or “Marquis” or somethng?)

  30. Anthony.
    It might be interesting to post a list of.
    You have the USCHN list posted But it might be nice to post 3 separate lists
    A. The master list.
    B. The visited List
    C. The list to visit.
    Mosh pit

  31. Gary Boden’s Screeching Mercury Monkeys emblem patch is outstanding! I want one.
    It is time to open a Surface Stations online store. Allow me to pre-order 4 patches, please.

  32. I couldn’t help but notice there are no air conditioner heat exchangers, asphalt parking lots, brick buildings, or barbecues near the Stevenson Screen in Gary Boden’s emblem.
    Setting a good example is a good idea.

  33. I have removed a couple of comments that were brought to my attention today as being a bit OTT and tasteless.
    Lets keep the dialog more civil please.

  34. Greenman must have been in the same writing class as Hansen the day they taught invective.
    I visited the chico beat site only with caution, not wanting to give them a unique “hit.” ;-]
    Keep it up Rev. Anthony, you must be getting to them.

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