Friday Funny – Katharine Hayhoe: only YOU can control the climate!

With the way Hayhoe described that, I couldn’t help think of, and embellish, this famous opening segment. With apologies to, The Outer Limits.

There is nothing wrong with your planet. Do not attempt to adjust the temperature. We are controlling the climate. If we wish to make it warmer, we will bring up the climate sensitivity. If we wish to make it cooler, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the Carbon Dioxide. We will control the solar insolation. We can roll the temperature, make it flutter. We can change the data to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next decade, sit quietly and we will control all data you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your planet. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to – The Climate Limits.

h/t to Marc Morano

UPDATE: WUWT reader “Donkeyrock” submits this image.

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49 thoughts on “Friday Funny – Katharine Hayhoe: only YOU can control the climate!

  1. When she says “every individual” she really means “every individual following the dictates of We The Enlightened Ones”
    /snark

  2. Mark of OKC says:
    August 30, 2013 at 9:59 am

    > lol, forgot the “do do do…..” music.

    If it had that, it would have been The Twilight Zone. The Outer Limits was different. And had out-of-focus sine waves. I think they couldn’t afford a signal generator, so they just displayed the line voltage instead of something cool like Lissajous patterns. Maybe they couldn’t focus that close to the oscilloscope.

    The gravity defying grandfather’s clock on The Twilight Zone was much more intriguing.

  3. “…the power to change climate lies in hands of every individual on the planet..”
    But if I’m controlling for my ideal climate and my neighbour is controlling for a different ideal, what happens?

  4. View from the Solent says: @ August 30, 2013 at 10:41 am

    “…the power to change climate lies in hands of every individual on the planet..”
    But if I’m controlling for my ideal climate and my neighbour is controlling for a different ideal, what happens?
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    WORSE, what happens if Mother Nature is controlling the climate and she is GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE…. Dilbert Cartoon

  5. I remember her from a few months ago, in which WUWT “gets the heave ho from hayhoe.” She is the NGO focus group “thought leader” for GREEN JESUS.

    (JPG image from the Rio +20 COP meeting, attended by Lisa Jackson, then unelected and unaccountable head of the unelected and unaccountable EPA, meeting with unelected and unaccountable foreign leaders and activists, to establish domestic energy policy in the US.)

  6. Well that explains the witch burning heretic hating attitude of Catastropests like her majesty.
    As every individual can manipulate the weather/climate, in her world, then it is obvious how the odious styling of 10:10 types would pass for humour.
    Think good thought of the climate will be destroyed?
    Of course as these nincompoops never venture outdoors in the real world, Hayhoe is correct, we each control our indoor climate, assuming the wealth to do so.
    The raving of a over privileged, under investigated liberal.

  7. HAY HOE HAY HOE KATHARINE HAYHOE’S GOT TO GO!
    Ditto for all the other delusional global warming alarmists. Enough is too much already.

  8. In some respects I agree with her. Rather than having all the do-gooders spend their time convincing governments to apply more taxation and regulation on everyone, nothing is stopping them from living a carbon-free lifestyle right now. Lead by example. And the more people that show how easily it can be done , and how many benefits come from this lifestyle, more and more people will jump on board.

    Something like the “Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement”

    “One person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and
    They won’t take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
    They may think they’re both faggots and they won’t take either of them.
    And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
    Singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out. They may think it’s an
    Organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
    Fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and
    Walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.”

  9. Cultural Marxism seeks to replace the proletariat (which failed to rebel against capitalism) with different groups; victim groups.
    The UN tried to get EVERYBODY into one victim group; the climate victim; Hayhoe addresses everybody so she plays the same game. So she’s a Cultural Marxist; a vulture trying to feast on whatever the designated victim group will bring forth.

  10. Hayhoe is a dedicated Climate Liar, and, amazingly enough, an Evangelical Christian. If I remember my Bible correctly, lying is somewhat frowned upon.

  11. Did I miss something regarding the spelling of her name?

    Catherine? (capital ‘C’, lower-case ‘e’)

    Katharine? (capital ‘K’, lower-case ‘a’)

  12. David L. says:
    August 30, 2013 at 11:42 am
    In some respects I agree with her. Rather than having all the do-gooders spend their time convincing governments to apply more taxation and regulation on everyone, nothing is stopping them from living a carbon-free lifestyle right now. Lead by example. And the more people that show how easily it can be done , and how many benefits come from this lifestyle, more and more people will jump on board.

    David L.
    You do know that you…. and all humanity….are carbon based life form, don’t you? You cannot live a carbon free lifestyle ‘easily’, ‘right now’ or ever, without killing yourself. I, for one, will not be ‘jumping on board’ that end-of-lifestyle until my Maker calls me home.
    MtK

  13. My local Volkswagen dealer has an old ad campaign poster that says The Power Is In Your Hands and it’s hanging in the restroom right above the urinal.

  14. Mac the Knife on August 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    I should have put the /sarc tag. I’m a chemist. I’m aware of the abundance of carbon ! :-)

  15. Anybody remember the old TV commercials with the lady saying, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature?” It’s still difficult to believe there are people who actually believe Ms. Nature can be altered to suit us. If a hundred people chose the “perfect” temperature, they would all be different, but they all would be in the tropical range.

  16. Katharine Hayhoe is right in one way and maybe that’s what she meant: most of us control our climate with a simple thermostat, heat in the winter, cool in the summer, in our homes, our cars, our offices. Who cares about the outdoors that we rarely visit anyway …….

  17. Katharine Hayhoe is correct. For over 16 years man’s eeeeeevil co2 has continued to pollute the atmosphere – and mean global surface temperature has failed to rise. Let’s release MORE co2 – correlation is causation. Well that’s what I was told over the warming between 1980 to 1998.

    Oh no! It’s falling apart. WE MUST ACT NOW!

    Bloomberg – 29 August 2013
    U.S. and European Union envoys are seeking more clarity from the United Nations on a slowdown in global warming that climate skeptics have cited as a reason not to “panic” about environmental changes, leaked documents show.

    They’re requesting that more details on the so-called “hiatus” be included in a key document set to be debated at a UN conference next month that will summarize the latest scientific conclusions on climate change……

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-08-29/global-warming-slowdown-data-sought-in-un-climate-report.html

    H/t

    http://hockeyschtick.blogspot.com/2013/08/us-eu-are-pressuring-ipcc-to-explain.html

  18. David L. says:
    August 30, 2013 at 1:46 pm
    Mac the Knife on August 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm
    I should have put the /sarc tag. I’m a chemist. I’m aware of the abundance of carbon ! :-)

    Ha! Good enough, David L!
    I live in the Seattle WA area. You might not believe how often I hear true believers in this area utter words similar to ‘living the carbon free lifestyle’ by reducing our ‘carbon foot prints’ to zero. I personally control my carbon foot print very carefully…. by wiping my shoe soles off on the door mat before I enter the house. Works every time….
    MtK

  19. “It has to be fully explained in the summary.”
    Oh, have no fear, the IPCC is here to the rescue. They will have a tasty smorgasboard of “explanations” for the slowdown/pause/hiatus, full of the usual coulds, possiblies, and maybes. It will be beautiful and finely crafted, almost a work of art. Then, after reaching a feverous pitch, will come the coup de gras; what bureaucritters and all manner of government teat-guzzling hacks are all waiting for with baited breath – the 95% ASSURANCE that man is responsible for the majority of the warming, and that the warming will recommence with gusto in the future, and that their funding, jobs and reputations are safe. Just makes ya feel warm and fuzzy all over, don’t it?

  20. “Only YOU can control the climate.”

    Well, O.K. I’ll do it. But only if get paid well for the job.

  21. From Hayhoe’s bio: ” Her work as a climate change evangelist has been featured in the PBS documentary series, The Secret Life of Scientists and in articles including True Believer that appeared in On Earth magazine in 2012 and Spreading the global warming gospel that appeared in the LA Times in 2011.”

    Climate scientist or environmental advocate? This, in my opinion is what is wrong with climate science. Judith Curry she is not!

  22. This has been the coldest, wettest summer I can remember in 15 years in NC. It’s probably due to all the commie neighbors and their Priuses. Guess I’ll start up all three cars in the driveway and let them idle for a while. That should warm things up.

  23. The greenies and our pres have been telling wthey can control the climate, so why do you doubt them? GISS can control the climate, they simply adjust historical data.

  24. Txomin says:
    August 30, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    You wrote: “Hayhoe is a climate scientist.”

    That certainly inspires a lot of confidence!

  25. Curses! How did she know about the climate control machine I’ve been hiding in my basement for years!

    Minions! You need to be more careful!

  26. Edohiguma says:
    August 31, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Hmmmn.

    From John Moore’s Heroics For Beginners, quoting Robert Taylor’s Handbook of Practical Heroics, the condemned prisoner of an Evil Overlord has to either trick the Evil Overlord’s dim-witted minions or seduce the his Evil Assistant.

    As an official minion not yet promoted to an evil assistant position, can I get seduced instead?

    By the way, is the Climate Control Device powered by an Ancient Artifact Model 7, or the older but collectible Ancient Artifact Model 3? (After all, the Ancient Artifact Model 6 was just a chromed up version of the Model 5 for the tourist trade and yuppie market, it couldn’t be one of those models.)

  27. “Not suspicious, just Canadian” Why is she suggesting that she is Canadian? We can’t stand the shame.

  28. I can? Nifty. I think I’ll make it slightly warmer, so human civilization flourishes just like it has every other time that has happened.

  29. Bruce Cobb:
    “coup de gras”

    The Impact of Fat? Sounds horrible. Would it be the coup de grace (fatal stab, to end suffering)?

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