The underlying absurdity is captured in the study’s relentless attention to detail: “biological waste, post-operative length of stay, and inhaled anaesthetic gases” are fingered as carbon culprits. The logical next step? Ration the anesthesia, make patients share bandages, and be sure to swap out your MRI for a nice, low-emission stethoscope. The authors stop just short of suggesting patients self-operate to save the emissions from surgeon commutes, but give it another funding cycle.