Baby Names to Change because of …. Climate Change

Opinion by Kip Hansen — 29 November 2022

If you thought that The Science had run out of things to blame on Climate Change, then you lack imagination.  Now the field of “evolutionary ecology” [no need to ask me why I have added quote marks to that] has entered the fray with a new entry.

Such a shame that John Brignell’s “complete list of things caused by global warming” stopped being updated in 2015.  Brignell’s official reason for discontinuing the updates:

Footnote (September 2015) Why the list stopped growing.   The time it takes to process a new entry increases approximately with the square of the list length, after checking for duplications, spoofs etc. Starting it was based on the naïve assumption that the rate of appearances would decline as opposing evidence accumulated, but the reverse happened. That’s the difference between science and religion. It was taking over my life, which I did not want to end as a garbage collector. There have since been hundreds more claims of an increasingly ludicrous nature.

Time has proven him absolutely correct.  The list has not stopped growing and has become ‘increasingly ludicrous”.

The new entry for the list of “Things Caused by Global Warming” was featured in an article in the once-respected journal ScienceThe piece is in their News—Social Sciences section with the title “Weather can affect baby names. A couple uncommon ones might be about to blow up”.   The piece is amusing and should be read with your sense-of-humor knob turned full up.

The article includes supporting statements from an “evolutionary anthropologist” [ditto] and, de rigueur,  a physicist! (Who, by the by, “was not involved in the work but has examined parents’ reasoning for baby names.”)

The article states:

“Evolutionary ecologists Raymond Huey of the University of Washington, Seattle, and Donald Miles of Ohio University, Athens, have spent their careers learning how the physical environment, particularly temperature, influences the behavior, physiology, and other aspects of the lives of animals, particularly lizards. They wondered whether the environment might influence a uniquely human behavior: naming a baby.”

Now, you may ask “Who are you to doubt the opinions about human baby names  voiced by Scientists! who have spent their careers studying lizards?”.   I have no excuse, I just have to.

There is a study – a published “Accepted manuscript” peer-reviewed study.  No, really.  It is “Signatures of geography, climate, and foliage on given names of baby girls” in the journal Evolutionary Human Sciences.

The abstract reads:

“Parents often weigh social, familial, and cultural considerations when choosing their baby’s name, but the name they choose could potentially be influenced by their physical or biotic environments. Here we examine whether the popularity of month and season names of girls covary geographically with environmental variables. In the continental USA, April, May, and June (Autumn, Summer) are the most common month (season) names: April predominates in southern states (early springs), whereas June predominates in northern states (later springs). Whether April’s popularity has increased with recent climate warming is ambiguous. Autumn is most popular in northern states, where autumn foliage is notably colourful, and in eastern states having high coverage of deciduous foliage. On a continental scale, Autumn was most popular in English-speaking countries with intense colouration of autumn foliage. These analyses are descriptive but indicate that climate and vegetation sometimes influence parental choice of their baby’s name.”

Where, you ask, is the Climate Change claim?  It’s in the Science article about the study.  Elizabeth Pennisi, writing for Science quotes “Ruth Mace, an evolutionary anthropologist at University College London (UCL) who was not involved in the work” (and not even at the same institution as either of the authors), who says:

“[It’s] interesting to speculate our great-grandchildren may have names like January and February as global warming races along” and warm weather comes earlier in the year.”

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Author’s Comment:

That’s science for you (and Science the journal). 

The author at Science, Pennisi, must have a rather short “go to” list of scientists to call on for quotes – all those used in her article on baby names are at University College London (UCL).  Neither of the study’s authors are at that institution or even in the same country as UCL.

On the upside, Pennisi passes on a Hat Tip (from “the physicist”Paolo Barucca) to Simon & Garfunkel who released their very popular song April Come She Will in 1966, crediting the song as the influence behind the fact that “April began to rise in popularity, and from the 1960s until 2000, April was the predominant month name.”

And there you have it. 

Thanks for reading.

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November 29, 2022 10:06 pm

LOL ! They haven’t lived in Africa where those kinds of names are quite common 🙂

Bryan A
Reply to  Streetcred
November 29, 2022 10:22 pm

I went to school with an April, May and June and 2 Augusts

AGW is Not Science
Reply to  Bryan A
November 30, 2022 3:49 am

I have female relatives named May and June and a male relative named August and they all received those names long before anyone was talking about “climate change.”

Maybe the pseudo-scientists should focus on a different “concern” – that as a RESULT of the stupid POLICIES they want to implement, you won’t HAVE any “great grandchildren” to worry about the “naming” of – your grandchildren will freeze and starve to death in the dark as a result of climate POLICIES long before they’re old enough to have children of their own if the Eco-Nazis get their way. And that is only IF your children are old enough that THEY haven’t starved and frozen to death in the dark before you even get to grandchildren.

Bryan A
Reply to  AGW is Not Science
November 30, 2022 5:17 am

Frivolous CC papers are like frivolous lawsuits…
They could bring in big bucks but accomplish naught except for being the fruit of ridicule fodder
This is a prime example of a Frivolous Climate Change Paper

Hoyt Clagwell
November 29, 2022 10:15 pm

I feel like gender change is going to have a bigger influence on baby names. “Let’s make it something neutral like Chris or Lee, just in case.”

Bryan A
Reply to  Hoyt Clagwell
November 29, 2022 10:22 pm

Alice and Marion are good too
And let’s not forget…
A boy named Sue

Last edited 1 month ago by Bryan A
Reply to  Hoyt Clagwell
November 30, 2022 9:51 am

Has anyone done a study to confirm that climate change is responsible for the 200X increase in gender dysphoria?

Hoyt Clagwell
Reply to  Craig
November 30, 2022 1:51 pm

I’m feel safe in saying that some self-appointed “expert” has indeed linked climate change to gender dysphoria.

John V. Wright
November 29, 2022 10:39 pm

And do these ‘scientists’ actually get paid for this stuff? I mean real money?

Reply to  Kip Hansen
November 30, 2022 10:46 am

In this case, it ought to cost them their job !

November 29, 2022 10:43 pm

Articles like this are disappointing because they lend credence to the silly notion of gender fluidity. This adds unwanted length to the time that disturbed individuals will take before they finally realise that a family is comprised of a man and a woman and their children, if any, as determined by Nature in allocating chromosomes. In the learnng process, these individuals take up too much time with their invented problems instead of getting on with productive work to help the economy.
We can do without senior court judges who decline to define ‘woman’. It creates mental scenes about the decline and fall of empires, with the reclining elitist demanding “Slave, peel me a grape.”
All people can think what they like about anything, but they need to restrain themselves when dictating nonsense that affects others. (Like I am doing here?) Geoff S

Reply to  Kip Hansen
November 30, 2022 9:21 am

In the US, there is a “man” to help raise every child. His name is Sam, as in Uncle Sam.

Many people in the US know of WIC, Women, Infants and Children which provides food for children without “fathers” in the household. What most don’t know is originally WIC stood for Widows Infants and Children.

That is, when morals meant something, unwed mothers were not supported by the government, or even, as today, encouraged by the current welfare system.

Alexy Scherbakoff
November 29, 2022 10:43 pm

Anglocentric nonsense. Six percent of the world population (half a billion). Somehow these idiots think that the world revolves around native English speakers.

Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
November 30, 2022 9:19 am

Yes, you are right. Whatever happened to Latin, or the lingua franca?

Alexy Scherbakoff
Reply to  Retired_Engineer_Jim
November 30, 2022 4:13 pm

I’m referring to word twisting by feminists, gender fluid etc.
It’s not cultural appropriation (god), It’s cultural dismissal.
I am part of the anglosphere, despite my name, I just find many of these people are ignorant and an embarrassment.

old cocky
November 29, 2022 10:58 pm

Perhaps there will be a follow-up paper on boys’ names citing the popularity of Hewey, Dewey and Louie.

Tom Abbott
Reply to  old cocky
November 30, 2022 2:06 am

Or Moe, Larry and Curly.

Jim Gorman
Reply to  old cocky
November 30, 2022 6:09 am

Or Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe

Reply to  Jim Gorman
November 30, 2022 12:27 pm

Dewey is no longer a partner there. The other two determined he was unnecessary.

November 29, 2022 11:11 pm

Yeah…Who remembers this one? –

Mike McMillan
Reply to  aelfrith
December 4, 2022 8:30 am

That one deserves to be shadow-banned.

Right-Handed Shark
November 30, 2022 12:55 am

This explains the full name of “Exceptionally Cool For The Fourth Tuesday In August Weld“. (who was actually born on a Friday and not her real name but that would spoil the joke)

Last edited 1 month ago by Right-Handed Shark
John Hultquist
Reply to  Kip Hansen
November 30, 2022 10:02 am

The only oddly named person I know is named Tuesday, and she is a pharmacist.

I wonder if there is a cultural or religious (or lack of) aspect to names. I can’t recall anyone in my family tree with month or season names. As for “Autumn” — see Autumn Leaf Capital of the World — Clarion, PA. I can’t recall anyone from Clarion being named Autumn. Okay, there is the small sample size there. And don’t start a fight over rights to the “Capital” claim.

November 30, 2022 1:30 am

So while industry continues to pollute without cleaning up after themselves & climate changers fly big diesel planes to meetings & parties, it’s our children who must carry the mantle of responsibility for this scheme. Twerks (sexualized style of dancing wherein one manipulates the hips & posterior in an often hypnotic and physics-defying bounce)

Alexy Scherbakoff
Reply to  marlene
November 30, 2022 1:40 am

Twerking is sexual? I thought it was an emetic. At least, that’s how it affects me.

Joseph Zorzin
Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
November 30, 2022 5:18 am

This septuagenarian was walking on a beach a few years ago- walking by a group of “twenty somethings”- and a cute young lady got up, approached me, walked behind me and twerked me. For several seconds I was in shock- had no clue what was going on until my companion explained to me that it was a joke to entertain the other youngsters.

old cocky
Reply to  marlene
November 30, 2022 1:54 am

fly big diesel planes to meetings & parties,

Apparently the Germans had some diesel engined aircraft in WWII

Reply to  marlene
November 30, 2022 10:29 am

Big diesel planes??? I though only light aircraft had diesel engines. I saw a programme on the box just the other day which showed how a German outfit had developed a small diesel engine for twin engined four/six seaters.

Last edited 1 month ago by Oldseadog
Tom Abbott
November 30, 2022 2:00 am

From the article: “These analyses are descriptive but indicate that climate and vegetation sometimes influence parental choice of their baby’s name.”

No, that is pure speculation, unless you have actually spoken with the parent and they told you they named their child after a month or season because of the weather or vegetation. I’m skeptical that the “analysis” has gone to those lengths. Typically, those who read CO2 into everything, assume way too much, and my bet is that is what is going on here, too.

Reply to  Kip Hansen
November 30, 2022 9:24 am

To 11!!

November 30, 2022 2:29 am

“Autumn was most popular in English-speaking countries with intense colouration of autumn foliage.”
Where I live in Scotland we have pretty “intense colouration of autumn foliage”. We are also regarded as an English-speaking country, although, as a result of immigration, we have a fair number of people living in the country who do not speak English. NHS institutions invariably have signs in various languages. I am not aware of anybody called Autumn and the Mumsnet website does not include it in the top 50 names of baby girls in Scotland.

November 30, 2022 3:03 am

April May and June arent impressed
Huey Louie and Dewey couldnt give a quack!

November 30, 2022 3:25 am

Maybe we should try for a shorter list, perhaps a list of things for which climate change isn’t blamed for…

AGW is Not Science
Reply to  ScienceABC123
November 30, 2022 3:54 am

Blank sheet of paper, or a list of beneficial things, no doubt.

Tom in Florida
November 30, 2022 4:29 am

For many years of my early childhood I thought my name was “god”. Every time my father came home he would look at me and say “My god, what have you done now?”

November 30, 2022 5:41 am

Another fine example of pseudo science types collecting paychecks to come up with more ridiculous and useless information for the masses.
Blaming anything on a faux ideology, such as climate whatever, is getting way beyond reasonable. This names “research”, grade school project, falls under the heading of “well, that’s interesting”. Maybe.
But, hey, it keeps the many people involved in the various “climate” projects off the real welfare lines. For now.
Just sayin’.

November 30, 2022 5:44 am

Was this article perhaps lifted from the Babylon Bee?

November 30, 2022 6:27 am

Coolio. Warmista. ChangeALot.

MIke McHenry
November 30, 2022 7:16 am

The current editor of “Science” is ultra liberal.

Dodgy Geezer
November 30, 2022 7:52 am

Terry Pratchet described (If my memory serves) a village where the girl children were given attractive names describing hoped-for attributes such as ‘Faith’, ‘Hope’, and ‘Charity’.

Unfortunately, they misunderstood the requirement slightly, with the result that the boys were called ‘Corruption’, ‘Hypocrisy’ and ‘Bestiality’….

Right-Handed Shark
Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
November 30, 2022 10:26 am

Sounds like they would all grow up to be climate scientists..

Mike McMillan
Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
December 4, 2022 8:44 am

Pratchett had Great A’Tuin, but around here it’s turtles all the way down.

November 30, 2022 8:33 am

Next up: How Climate Change is impacting academic offerings such as underwater basket weaving.

November 30, 2022 9:50 am

My guess is that wokeism will have a much larger impact on kids names that climate change.

November 30, 2022 10:14 am

“Evolutionary ecologists Raymond Huey of the University of Washington, Seattle, and Donald Miles of Ohio University, Athens, have spent their careers learning how the physical environment, particularly temperature, influences the behavior, physiology, and other aspects of the lives of animals, particularly lizards.

And now I want to see a comparison between scientists and lizards.

November 30, 2022 10:44 am

“Man Friday” in R.L.Stevenson book ?

“Wednesday Addams”

“Tuesday Weld”

November 30, 2022 10:50 am

Wouldn’t this mean more people named October or November if Mommy and Daddy start getting randy in January and February instead of April and May?

November 30, 2022 12:41 pm

Well, we do need milestones in the timeline of China overtaking the West in science.

November 30, 2022 1:34 pm
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