First, if you have not seen the Monty Python “dead parrot” sketch in your lifetime, before you read the satire from Christopher Monckton below, watch this video. Just click on the thumbnail at right.
Now the following will make a bit more sense from the satire context. YMMV.
An ex-theory – by Christopher Monckton
The Catastrophic Global Warming Theory is not just catastrophic: it’s catatonic.
So I says to my mate John Cleese – yes, he of the Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch – I says to go down the Pet Theory Shop to complain about it and demand our money back. The shopkeeper is such a nice Indian gentleman, name of Patchy Pachauri. He used to be a railroad engineer, but now he writes best-selling bodice-ripping hard-porn pot-boilers with catchy titles like Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change Fifth Assessment Report.
Cleese: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
Patchy Pachauri said nothing.
Cleese: ’Ello, Miss?
Patchy Pachauri: What do you mean, “Miss”?
Cleese: (pause) I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Patchy Pachauri: We’re closin’ for lunch in Bali.
Cleese: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this pet Theory what my government purchased not a quarter of a century ago from this very boutique.
Patchy Pachauri: Oh yes, the, uh, the Thermageddon Blues … What’s, uh … What’s wrong with it?
Cleese: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
Patchy Pachauri: No, no, it’s uh, … it’s just Pausing.
Cleese: Look, matey, I know a dead Theory when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
Patchy Pachauri: No, no, it’s not dead, it’s, it’s Pausing! Remarkable Theory, the Thermageddon Blues, innit, eh? Beautiful hokey-stick curves!
Cleese: The curves don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
Patchy Pachauri: No, no, no, no, no, no! It’s Pausing!
Cleese: All right then, it’s Pausing. I’ll wake it up! (Shouting at a copy of the Fifth Assessment Report) ’Ello, Mister TERI Thermageddon Theory! I’ve got a lovely fresh climate sensitivity estimate for you if you show any signs of life.
(Pachauri slaps the report)
Patchy Pachauri: There, it moved!
Cleese: No, it didn’t, that was you hitting it!
Patchy Pachauri: I never!
Cleese: Yes, you did!
Patchy Pachauri: I never, never did anything of …
Cleese: (yelling and hitting the report repeatedly) ’ELLO, TERI! Testing! Testing! This is your eleventh-hour alarm call!
(Takes the report and thumps it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Now that’s what I call a dead Theory.
Patchy Pachauri: No, no…..No, it’s just stunned!
Cleese: STUNNED?!?
Patchy Pachauri: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin’ up! Thermageddon Blues stun easily, major.
Cleese: Um … now look … now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That Theory is definitely deceased, and when the Department of Energy, Climate Change and Silly Walks purchased it not a quarter of a century ago, you assured me and my fellow taxpayers that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out owin’ to a prolonged hiatus.
Patchy Pachauri: Well, it’s, it’s ah … probably hiding the decline.
Cleese: HIDIN’ THE DECLINE? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its trend-line the moment we all started spending billions on it?
Patchy Pachauri: The Thermageddon Blues prefers a flat trend-line! Remarkable Theory, innit, squire? Lovely curves!
Cleese: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Theory when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been predicting drastic global warming in the first place was that the whole thing had been made UP!
(pause)
Patchy Pachauri: Well, o’ course it was made up! If we ’and’t made that theory up, we could never ’ave jetted round and round the world having important meetings at everyone else’s expense. VOOM! Bali. VOOM! Cancun. VOOM! Hawaii. This theory has the VOOM! Factor.
Cleese: “VOOM”? Mate, this theory wouldn’t fly if you put four million fossil-fuel-generated, carbon-emitting volts through it! It’s bleedin’ demised!
Patchy Pachauri: No, no! It’s Pausing!
Cleese: It’s not Pausing! It’s passed on! This Theory is no more! It is deceased! It has ceased to be! It is on the Other Side! It’s off the rails and in the gulch. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! It’s a stiff! Rigor mortis ’as set in. Bereft of life, it rests in peace! It’s not lost but gone before! It’s six feet under. It’s pushin’ up the daisies! Its metabolic processes are now ’istory! It’s off the twig! It’s fallen off its perch! It is at one with the cosmos! It is with Eywa now. It’s kicked the bucket, it’s handed in its dinner-pail, it’s shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain, lined up its 72 virgins, collected its ’arp and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-THEORY!
Patchy Pachauri: Birdy num-num.
Spot on -and love the graphic, thanks!
If laughter is the best medicine,
& satire is the lowest form of wit,
then ridicule is the best weapon.
I burst out laughing, Milord Christopher, crack on, crack on.
🙂
Very funny, you could have mentioned that global warming had become very “sluggish” in the last 18 years!
Oh…..My….GAWD!!!!! Laughin me wee little Irish ARS OFF!!!!!!!
am not inclined to pursue this line of inquiry any further, it is getting to silly!
I always heard it was really a 72-year old virgin?
Nicely done!!!
I always compare CAGW people to coconut clackers pretending they are riding horses…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzcLQRXW6B0 and tell them coconuts do migrate….
If we’re going to do the Full Monty (Python), CAGW is more like King Arthur’s horse. Or maybe the vicious rabbit.
Perceptive wit. I would never have come up with the comparison, but it’s a perfect fit.
Hilarious!!
Deceased, as in Gored to death.
A Perfect Parody!
Is April Fools late this year?
Loved the mention of the “hokey” stick. If it was a mistake, I vote to leave it in anyway.
Dear Lord,
The Black Knight sketch “The Theory that would not Die”
Brilliant. Especially the 72 lined-up virgins. Is the collective noun for that a “phalanx” or is that the one for 72 lined-up men?
Please also look at Monty Python’s village idiot sketch, particularly at 2.50 to 3.15. There you will see the village idiots getting their degrees in idiocy from the none other than the University of East Anglia. He specifically mentions the place. I think Cleese was prescient. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhDJxEPRDek
Perfect. Animate this on you-tube and it will go viral.
(y)
I’ve got it !
The trouble with the IPCC all along has been credibility.
They need a new spokesman ! not Patchy the jokesman.
The disaster films of the 70s (Airplane, Earthquake, Two Minute Warning et al. likewise) with be big ensemble casts had one thing going in their favor even though they were completely ridiculous, Charlton Heston.
Ah Ha.
The IPCC is in desperate need of the theater packing credibility that science cannot deliver.
With all the money that the IPCC gets from the UN (i.e. from world government member states) they should hire Sony (and their subsidiaries) to produce a holographic Charlton Heston (like Hatsune Miku or the Michael Jackson holo that did the BB Awards recently) to lead the charge of the light brigade Carbon Tax Revenuers against the evil Zulu Global Warming Savages across theaters world wide !
Forget the dull, lumbering and dead wrong reports ! Just make MOVIES with Holo Charlton rising his 1911 Enfield above his head shouting … “Not even from my cold, dead hand” … as he slaughters the savages and wins the box offices.
Yah Team IPCC Go Go Go. 😀
Ha ha
From: The Life of Brian – but could equally refer to a number names mentions on WUWT blog:-
‘Now, you listen here! He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy!’
I assume Pachauri was wearing his maharajah’s outfit to suit the lifestyle his TERI organisation funds for him.
@ jdseanjd *Sarcasm* is the lowest form of wit, not satire.
And now for something completely different…….reality.
Too bad the IPPC has such high resistance to it.
dayday says:
May 25, 2014 at 11:13 am
Dear Lord,
The Black Knight sketch “The Theory that would not Die”
———————————————
The same sketch occurred to me:
Although CACA now has not even one leg left upon which to stand. Or keep hopping & hoping.
Good one. Kinda’ like Monty Python and The Holy Grail. “Bring out your dead. But, I’m not dead. Yes you are…”
Thanks, Christopher.
Cheers
It’s a bleedin’ Zombie Apocalypse Warming hypothesis. It’s dead but it doesn’t even know it. ZAW keeps on coming despite repeated whackings.
A better Monty Python skit for Global Warming is the black knight where ” it’s just scratch” as his limbs are getting hacked off.
One word: Respect.
Thank you, Sir.
WONDERFUL. Christopher Monckton, you are a talented man! Thank you so very much for this. This is perfect! 🙂
Ridicule is a fine response. About all agw bullshit is worth these days.
“President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said ‘It’s just springtime.'” –Jay Leno
“They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out.” –Jay Leno
Thirty million acres of rainforest are being destroyed each year and I’m attempting to recycle a jar of Marmite. It’s like turning up at an earthquake with a dustpan and brush.
Fantastic. It needs a video!
Add a line for Trenberth et al –
Patchy Pachauri: Now you look ‘ere, mate sometimes these Theories fall asleep and hibernate – for a decade or more! It’s hibernatin’ and I take it quite peculiar that you don’t believe me when I tell ye! Just you wait ’til that bloody great El Nino pops up later this year, and pumps up the GISS back into the model uncertainty zone again! Come and talk to me about dead theories then, why don’t ye! Yer’sle be talking out another side of your mouth in a few months!
It’s pining for the trough!
July, 2011
The House of Lords have had an ongoing dispute with Monckton over his membership, as authorities have said Monckton is not and never has been a member and that there is no such thing as a non-voting or honorary member of the House.
In July 2011 the House took the “unprecedented step” of publishing online a cease and desist letter to Monckton from the Clerk of the Parliaments, which concluded:
“I am publishing this letter on the parliamentary website so that anybody who wishes to check whether you are a Member of the House of Lords can view this official confirmation that you are not.”
http://www.parliament.uk/business/news/2011/july/letter-to-viscount-monckton/
i love a good laugh. thanks.
btw, to give the other Pythons their due:
Wikipedia: Dead Parrot Sketch
It was written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman…
The “Dead Parrot” sketch was inspired by a “Car Salesman” sketch that (Michael) Palin and Chapman had done in How to Irritate People. In it, Palin played a car salesman who repeatedly refused to admit that there was anything wrong with his customer’s (Chapman) car, even as it fell apart in front of him. That sketch was based on an actual incident between Palin and a car salesman…
In early drafts of what would become the Dead Parrot Sketch, the frustrated customer was trying to return a faulty toaster to a shop. Chapman realised that it needed to be “madder”, and came up with the parrot idea…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Parrot_sketch
Christopher Monckton, our amazing soul who sincerely attempted to educate fools.
Your stride, educational exercise, is Gulliver with eyes wide open.
If fools are all we’ve got, what’s the point of the sucker?
I suggest that we toss warrenlb into the river to see if he floats, like a small rock or a bridge! If he does, then he’s a witch….or a duck….but either one would be more useful than what he currently is now.
Now, go away or we shall taunt you a second time.
In answer to the off-topic whine of the furtively anonymous “warrenlb” about the House of Lords,here is the abstract of the legal Opinion of Hugh O’Donoghue, barrister-at-law, dated 23 October 2010:
“I am asked to consider whether The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley was correct when, in a recent radio interview in Australia, he answered the question “Are you a member of the House of Lords?” by saying, “Yes, but without the right to sit or vote.” My conclusion is that Lord Monckton’s answer was and is correct at all points. We have the authority of two Law Lords in the Privileges Committee that the meaning of the words “membership of the House” in the Act is confined to the right to sit and vote. The implication is that in all other respects excluded Hereditary Peers remain members of the House. Also, the Letters Patent that created Peerages such as that of Monckton of Brenchley have not been revoked, and we have the recent authority both of the Leader of the House and of the High Court for that. Though the House of Lords Act 1999 purported to remove “membership of the House of Lords” from excluded Hereditary Peers including Lord Monckton’s late father, its constitutionality is questionable. Peerages entail membership of the House. Lord Monckton is correct to state that he does not at present have the right to sit or vote, though if the 1999 Act is unconstitutional the excluded Hereditary Peers are unlawfully excluded. Therefore, Lord Monckton remains a Member not only of the Peerage but also of the House of Lords, save only that he cannot for now sit or vote there, and he was and is fully entitled to say so.”
And that’s that. If whoever pays trolls like warrenlb to whine about my undoubted membership of the House of Lords thinks the cause of climate extremism and of the hard Left more generally is advanced by their whining, think again – and just look at the UKIP election results, which show very clearly that totalitarianism, one of whose hallmarks is personal attacks on its democratic opponents, is now doomed to fail.
Seems it’s Monckton vs the House of Lords. Why would the House of Lords consider it necessary to publish such a letter, and wouldn’t they know whether Monckton is a member of their own body, or not?
Lord Monckton of Brenchley,
Relax, you Sir are among Friends!!!
What You have done, in the face of stupidity, is beyond Amazing!
It’s an amazing honor Sir, please sit and enjoy.
” it’s catatonic”
The curtain rises and we find The US Senate attempting to find their predetermined seats.
IMO the Lord picked the wrong Monty Python sketch…
R: Mr. Pachauri’s free, but he’s a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Dr. Mann; room 12.
M: Thank you.
(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)
Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that…
Q: Don’t give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR A DISCUSSION OF CAGW, I’m not going to just stand…!!
Q: OH, oh I’m sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!
(Walk down the corridor)
M: (Knock)
A: Come in.
M: Ah, Is this the right room for a discussion of anthropogenic global warming?
A: I told you once.
M: No you haven’t.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No you didn’t.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn’t
A: I did!
M: You didn’t!
A: I’m telling you I did!
M: You did not!!
A: Oh, I’m sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute climate prevarication or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let’s get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M: No you did not.
….
Someone blows a horn and the chamber is opened to announce,
“I,m Good Enough”.
al franken takes a seat.
al franken sits in a hero’s chair and is immediately confronted by the Gorgon Reid.
Forget SNL, he is as cold as ICE.
franken falls in stone step to inhibit any passage of legislation as prescribed by the strings defining the Gorgon’s instructions.
Let me get this straight. Is warrenlb claiming that this routine is not allowed to be funny because of some legal opinion?
Off Stage left, federal agencies now understand Congress is no longer in a “position” to Govern and decide to stray.
EPA decides to regulate their own farts as CO2 and condemn society to stupid litigation to prove the CO2 isn’t “harmful”.
EPA then chooses to subject humans to trials to prove “dust”.
Congress then discovers stupidity (hello you gitts) and challenges the Farm Dust legislation yet fails to see an EPA gone wrong like Girls on Spring Break.
So at this point you’re asking yourself, self — surely our government isn’t this screwed up?
Guess again!!! There’s enough material in the last to terms of Congress to keep SNL alive for decades! — right up until we all throw-up!
Works for the IPCC theory and for the EU as well!
As a further reply to the furtively pseudonymous “warrenlb”, who has no more sense of humor than most totalitarians, here is a further extract from Mr O’Donoghue’s Opinion on my undoubted membership of the House of Lords, which accords with my own admittedly inexpert understanding, and does not accord with the Clerk of the Parliaments’ self-evidently inexpert understanding, which does not have the support of the House itself. The Clerk’s letter was posted at the instigation of Socialist climate extremists in Australia because they knew they were about to get creamed in a live head-to-head debate with me on prime-time TV. Their tactic spectacularly failed. So to Mr. O’Donoghue. Here is the concluding paragraph of his Opinion, and I am, in a way, almost grateful to the hapless paid troll who has given me the opportunity to repeat it:
“Lord Monckton’s statement that he is a member of the House of Lords, albeit without the right to sit or vote, is unobjectionable. His claim is not a false or misleading claim. It is legitimate, proportionate, and reasonable. Likewise, Lord Monckton was correct when he wrote to the US Congress that ‘Letters Patent granting Peerages, and consequently membership [of the House of Lords], are the personal gift of the Monarch. Only a specific law can annul a grant. The 1999 Act was a general law.’ He legitimately drew attention to a parliamentary answer by no less a personage than the Leader of the House, making it plain that the Act was a general law and not a particular law that might have had the effect of revoking Letters Patent. We now have the recent authority of the High Court, in the Mereworth case, for Lord Monckton’s assertion that the 1999 Act did not revoke or annul his Letters Patent. Unless and until such revocation takes place, Lord Monckton remains a member of the House of Lords, and he is fully entitled to say so.”
So the Clerk, for political reasons, spoke out of turn and got it hopelessly wrong. Mr O’Donoghue suggested I should sue the Clerk for libel (he was genuinely furious at the Clerk’s stepping out of line). but it’s much more fun to expose the Clerk’s ignorance, and his shoddy willingness to support his Socialist mates even though his job requires strict political neutrality, every time a troll is foolish enough to give me the opportunity. The bullying to which I have been subjected over this issue has earned me enormous international support from those who had hitherto not realized the desperate lengths to which the canting profiteers of doom were prepared to go to use diversionary tactics rather than to talk about the science that now points so unerringly against them.
May 25, 2014 at 3:01 pm | warrenlb says
—-
LOL! … Newcomer to the ‘debate’ are you? Remarkable research capabilities that you display.
John McClure: I think you meant “two” not “to”. But you are too favorable to prior terms. There are enough jokes and jokers in the last fifty years to keep us laughing for eternity. That is to say, about the same length of time it will take to pay off the debt they have incurred for our “benefit”.
Lord Monckton,
I’m very upset you didn’t come to Dr. Bengtsson’s side. Not because he needed it but because he was subjected to idiotic backlash you both reject!
A Friend is a Friend in…
Excellent parody, Lord Monkton of Brenchley. Interesting that somebody would think, that questioning the validity of your title, in some way detracts from the merits of what you have so beautifully penned. Or indeed that it has any relevance here at all.
Eamon.
Jim Brock says:
May 25, 2014 at 4:16 pm
===
Hit that nail on the head. Our debt for their benefit. This is the issue before us unless you wish to slog in climate pools hoping to emerge with a child’s ribbon.
Technically, no, you are wrong on both charges.
EPA then chose to deliberately and illegally subject humans to trials to prove “dust” is harmful.
The EPA and other federal agencies are actually analyzing with intent to regulate cow f*rts, not their own f*rts.
Their legislation (actually, unrestricted regulations) and lawsuits are not to prove CO2 isn’t harmless, but to “create law” to “legislate” that carbon is harmful.
A spokeswoman for the House of Lords: “Lord Monckton is not and never has been a member of the House of Lords. The clerk of the parliaments has written to Lord Monckton, confirming that he has no association with the House and advising him to stop branding himself as such.” She said Monckton’s claim that the 1999 act was a general law was “misleading”.
“The 1999 act does not remove letters patent, it just ends the right to be a member of the House by virtue of the hereditary peerage. The Act is pretty clear and uses the term ‘membership’ not the ‘right to sit/vote’,” she added.
Monckton argues his use of the portcullis emblem, which has appeared on his letterheads and lecture presentations, does not breach any rules: “My logo is not a registered badge of parliament, and is plainly distinct from parliament’s badge in numerous material respects. The Lords do not use the portcullis at all on their notepaper: they use the Royal Arms within an elliptical cartouche.”
A House of Lords spokeswoman said: “The emblem is property of the Queen, and Parliament has a Royal Licence granted for its use. Any misuse of the emblem by either members or non-members breaches this licence, and if a person refuses to stop using it the matter is drawn to the attention of the Lord Chamberlain, who is an Officer of the Royal Household. The Lord Chamberlain has been contacted regarding Lord Monckton’s use of the emblem, and it will fall to him to follow up on any misuse of the emblem.”
The spokeswoman added: “If, following the correspondence, Lord Monckton continues to claim to be a member of the House then the House authorities would need to consider and assess what options are available to them.”
Buckingham Palace confirmed it is “aware of this matter”, but said it “can not disclose any details on private correspondence between Buckingham Palace and an individual”. It did, though, guide towards a document on its website which says misuse of the emblem is prohibited by the Trade Marks Act 1994, meaning Monckton could potentially be liable for fines and a six-month prison term if the Palace pursued the matter and successfully prosecuted him.
Monckton said he has yet to receive any correspondence from the Lord Chamberlain.
Monckton, a former Conservative party policy adviser who joined UKIP last year, has attracted repeated criticism for his claims that he is a member of the Lords. In May, when giving witness testimony upon the invitation of House Republicans to the US select committee on energy independence and global warming, Monckton was mocked by a Democratic congressman when asked whether he had ever served in the House of Lords. This followed an appearance at a congressional energy and commerce committee hearing in 2009 when Monckton began his testimony: “I bring fraternal greetings from the Mother of Parliaments to the Congress of your ‘athletic democracy’.”
In June, following the death of Viscount Colville of Culross, Monckton, as a qualifying hereditary peer, put his name forward as a candidate at the resulting byelection to find the replacement elected peer. However, he failed to secure a single vote among the 29 crossbench hereditary peers eligible to vote.
Deep in their hearts and minds they know the CAGW speculation is actually dead. Yet they continue severe animal cruelty by flogging this dead horse. It is dead, get over it. The alarm is over. Leave the money troughs alone and do some useful work for man and the planet.
Such a bunch of fraudsters, it really is unbelievable.
Brilliantly done sir!
Here we all go — stupid is as stupid does!
Come on Moser let’s see you can defend the foolishness!
So under more than one of the UN “recommendations” member States passed a COP “gas” treaty.
The instruction was to determine the reason in Science or to spin the money?
97% says its fubar?
Loved it.
[Snip. All ad-hom, all the time. ~ mod.]
I agree that a YouTube version would be a winner.
Here’s a WUWT thread with even more detail on MoB’s HoL membership:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/11/20/dont-mock-the-monck/
forgive me,
the Senate — the tragic goof entered and was dominated by Senators in bondage.
You don’t want to dance Boxer over Defense yet she’s looped silly over trees and things natural.
The sneakily pseudonymous “warrenlb” is off topic, and is not exactly winning friends or influencing people here. Here is another extract from the Opinion of Hugh O’Donoghue, Barrister-at-Law:
“In common usage, the term “House of Lords” is synonymous with membership of the Peerage (although it might be also argued that they are not technically coextensive). There is, on the other hand, absolutely no doubt in my mind that, although the present Viscount Monckton of Brenchley has never been given an opportunity to swear his Oath and participate in Parliament, he nevertheless remains a member of the House of Lords and of the Peerage by virtue of the Letters Patent that created his Viscountcy. He is, therefore, entitled to all of the privileges of Peerage except to sit and vote in the House of Lords. On that basis alone, he may legitimately state that he is a member of the House of Lords.
Furthermore, the various functions and roles of the Peers sitting collectively are discharged traditionally as a group under the rubric “House of Lords”. While the political function of the excluded Hereditary Peers has been abrogated (whether lawfully or otherwise), the other roles of the excluded Hereditary Peers remain intact as they have over the centuries.
The strongest of many arguments in Lord Monckton’s favour is that since the Mayhew case it is clear that the sense intended by Parliament in removing “membership of the House of Lords” was confined to the objective of disqualifying all Hereditary Peers from sitting and voting in the House. The phrase “membership of the House of Lords” in section 1 was, as identified by Lord Slynn, mere symbolism to denote a functional restriction as opposed an exhaustive definition of the term latae sententiae.”
As to my logo, Garter King of Arms has confirmed to an enquirer a) that any combination of heraldic symbols not registered to anybody else may be adopted as a logo or device; and b) that the combination of the generic heraldic device of the portcullis and the specific heraldic device of the vicecomital coronet in my logo is not registered to the Houses of Parliament or to anyone else. I am, therefore, entirely free to use it, and I continue to do so without objection from anyone except paid trolls of the hard-Left climate-extremist tendency, ever more desperate to divert attention from the abject failure of the pseudo-science to which they had so profitably but misguidedly adhered.
Global temperature continues to change in a manner markedly less exciting than the “settled science” had foolishly predicted. No amount of hooting and hollering over whether I am a member of the House of Lords will alter that. Antarctic sea-ice extent is at a record high; there is no trend in droughts, none in floods, none in hurricanes, none in tornadoes; sea level is barely rising; every single one of the predictions of doom made by the profiteering academic clique on the hard Left that has been peddling this childish scare story has proven to be a failure. It was not I who created that failure, though I was one of those who pointed it out. Shouting at me about my peerage will make no difference whatsoever to the science, but it will help to confirm in the minds of discriminating and hitherto uncommitted observers that if arguing about the arcana of peerage law is the best that the paid trolls can come up with then the game is indeed up and the scare is indeed over.
@Moderator: I’d think you’d want all to see the facts about the “Lord” who claims to speak for Skeptics. Some level of credentials and integrity ought to be required –either you don’t know about his, or don’t want to . The latter seems to be the case.
[Please reserve all of your (future) comments to the subject of each thread you wish to participate in, rather than cast aspersions on others behind your own pseudonym. .mod]
More on the CLOUD experiment & cosmic rays:
http://motls.blogspot.com/2011/08/nir-shaviv-cloud-is-clearing.html
Comments include discussion of & links to studies on Forbush events.
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/09/01/nir-shaviv-on-the-cloud-experiment-worth-a-read/
Shaviv’s talk at EIKE has recently been posted on this blog, but here it is again. He posts a graph on Forbush events:
“is synonymous with membership of the Peerage” consensus
Thank You Lord Monckton for all You have done!
May God help us all if children fail to see.
May 25, 2014 at 4:43 pm | warrenlb says
—-
To take the dead parrot analogy a little further … the little twerp is wired to his perch of hate.
warrenlb says:
May 25, 2014 at 4:43 pm
Does the “spokeswoman” have a name?
If not your post is just so much chaff in the wind.
Not bad for a Viscount.
Lord Monckton,
You had the Brass to present in California — ended as a Monty Python Dem goof.
They aren’t smart nor have ever been.
I love the Pet Theory Shop 😀
But we are missing the cricket jokes about the Aussie teams. Now why is that. (:
Lord Monckton,
You are Not alone in this quest and WE respect you!
“Listen. I didn’t want to work at East Anglia. I wanted to be a lumberjack.”
That explains the tree-ring fixation…..
no doubt Lord Monckton is celebrating. much congratulations to Farage & Co:
Ukip storms European elections
The UK Independence Party has won a national election for the first time,
taking the most votes and seats in the European Parliament elections…
The result was the first time since 1910 that a national election was not
won by either the Conservatives or Labour…
The Liberal Democrats were left in a humiliating fight for fourth place with
the Greens and narrowly averted the “shattering” loss of all their MEPs. …
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/ukip/10855972/Ukip-storms-European-elections.html
European Elections: UKIP Top British Polls
UKIP have topped the European polls in the UK, with the Labour Party vying
with the Conservatives for second place.
Sources from the other main parties have conceded Nigel Farage’s party will
win, with the leader hailing an “earthquake” in British politics.
The Lib Dems look on course to lose all but one of their 11 MEPs, with the
party coming in fifth place – after the Greens – in every region so far.
With 10 of 12 UK regions having declared, UKIP has 31.3% of the vote, the
Conservatives 24.9%, Labour 23.3%, the Greens 7.8% and the Lib Dems 6.9%.
There was a turnout of 36%.
http://news.sky.com/story/1268952/european-elections-ukip-top-british-polls
“First, if you have not seen the Monty Python “dead parrot” sketch in your lifetime,”
Do such people exist?
Isn’t it time for Patchy poopoo pachourina to state that he never wanted to be the top climate goon?
As he rips off his dirty lab coat, revealing a plaid lumberjack shirt and steps into a scene with lumberjacks, all singing together:
CHORUS:
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin’
And have buttered scones for tea.
Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays ‘e goes shoppin’
And has buttered scones for tea.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women’s clothing,
And hang around in bars…”
The alarmed ones are mostly of the age, weaned on Gilbert and Sullivan, then finished with Monty Python.
Who knew such people would take satire as instruction.
Great sent up Lord Monckton.
As for poor warrenb, you be what?
You are so stupid as to assume Christopter Monckton speaks for us all?
Speaks to us yes.
With much appreciated wit and wordsmithing.
As for your obsession with Lordshiphood, most of us abandoned such idiocy over 200 years ago.
Get over yourself.
Fabulously entertaining. I laughed loud and long.
As many have said, almost any Monty Python sketch would fit the lunacy of CAGW.
For those who latch onto ad hominem nonsense about whether House of Lords regulations apply or not to the good lord…don’t you see how silly you look….very Monty Python-esque.
“…it is with Eywa now…” Very droll, Lord [Monckton]. 🙂 I’m most surprised not one this thread (?) lay note to your contemporary updating of the script….
Lord MONCKTON!- pardonez mois – I’m a Canuck, must be thinking “Down East”
I made a similar off take on Monty Python’s famous skit, “The Witch”, renamed “The Denier”
Leftist Mob: A Denier! A Denier! A Denier! We’ve got a Denier!
Grant hound #1: We have found a denier, might we burn her?
Leftist Mob: Burn her! Burn!
Pachauri: How do you know she is a Denier?
Grant hound #2: She looks like one.
Pachauri: Bring her forward.
Skeptic: I’m not a Denier. I’m not a Denier.
Pachauri: But you are dressed as one.
Skeptic: They dressed me up like this.
Leftist Mob: No, we didn’t… no.
Skeptic: And these aren’t my horns, they’re false ones.
Pachauri: Well?
CAGW grant hound #1: Well, we did do the horns.
Pachauri: The horns?
Grant hound #1: And the pitchfork — but she is a denier!
Leftist Mob: Burn her! Denier! Denier! Burn her!
Pachauri: Did you dress her up like this?
Leftist Mob: No, no… no … yes. Yes, yes,… a bit, a bit.
Grant hound #1: She has a PhD in Climatology.
Pachauri: What makes you think she is a Denier?
CAGW grant hound #3: Well, she turned me into a skeptic.
Pachauri: A skeptic?
Grant hound: ……I got better…..
Grant hound #2: Burn her anyway!
Leftist Mob: Burn! Burn her!
Pachauri: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are scientific ways of telling whether she is a denier.
Leftist Mob: Are there? What are they?
Pachauri: Tell me, what do you do with deniers?
Grant hound #2: Burn!
Leftist mob: Burn, burn them up!
Pachauri: And what do you burn apart from deniers?
Grant hound #1: More deniers!
Grant hound #2: WOOD!
Pachauri: So, why do deniers burn?
[pause]
Grant hound #3: B–… ’cause they’re made of wood?
Pachauri: Good!
Leftist Mob: Oh yeah, yeah…
Pachauri: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
Pachauri: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
Pachauri: Does wood sink in water?
Grant hound #1: No, no.
Grant hound #2: It floats! It floats!
Grant hound #1: Throw her into the pond!
Leftist Mob: The pond!
Pachauri: What also floats in water?
Grant hound #1: CO2!
Grant hound #2: Cow farts!
Grant hound #3: Tree rings!
Grant hound #1: Al Gore’s hair implants!
Grant hound #2: Solar panels!
Grant hound #1: Wind turbines!
Grant hound #2: Sulfur Dioxide!
Grant hound #3: Carbon Monoxide!
Leftist #2: A small Prius
King MANN: A Hockey Stick.
Leftist Mob: Ooooooh.
Pachauri: Exactly! So, logically…,
Grant hound #1: If… she.. weighs the same as a Hockey Stick, she’s made of wood.
Pachauri: And therefore–?
Grant hound #1: A Denier!
Leftist Mob: A Denier!
Pachauri: We shall use my larger scales!
[yelling]
Pachauri: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
Leftist Mob: A Denier! A Denier!
Skeptic: I knew I should have studied French Literature.
Pachauri: And who are you that is so wise in the matters of science.
King Mann: I am King Mann, King of the Grant Hounds.
Pachauri: My Liege.
King Mann: Will you come and join me on the UN Round Table of Warmunism to find the holy grail of catastrophic warming?
Pachauri: My Lord, I’d be honored!
King Mann: What is your name.
Pachauri: Pachauri, railroad engineer extraordinaire.
King Mann: Very well, I dub thee Sir Pachauri, Chief Grant Hound of the UN Round Table of Warmunism.
warrenlb says:
May 25, 2014 at 3:01 pm
1) The House of Lords is a political body.
2) Monty Python exists to poke fun and truth at British political bodies
and what they inflict upon the citizens.
3) The House of Lords has better things to do.
4) But that’s not necessarily one of their priorities, otherwise Monty
Python might not be necessary.
0) I’m a Yank. What happens in Britain should stay in Britain.
00) I thought of that because I have all my reservations for
attending ICCC-9 in Las Vegas ready.
After the UKIP MEP election, hopefully UKIP will oust both sets of neo-Goebbelsians in the next general election. This would seem to be inevitable, as many fence-sitters that I know just didn’t vote based on the fact that a vote for UKIP was a wasted vote for, in their thinking, numerical reasons. That thought has now been vanquished so, hopefully, we will see an Abbot-like decimation of this rag tag collection of incompetents, frauds, sh!t scientists and bullsh!tters in the UK the near future.
So, straying back on-topic, I posted this on another thread after the usually rational thinking Jimbo* suggested that the neo-Lysenkoists could be rehabilitated back in society – but at what cost ?? Surely it would be cost effective to have an equivalent hospital for them to spend the rest of their days peer-reviewing themselves:
The general ward would be pretty comical:
“simple physics”
“the science is settled”
“tipping point, waaaaah, it’s worse than we thought”
“scientists are predicting catastrophic …”
“only [insert a number, usually days or months] left save the planet”
“Arctic ice will be gone in [insert a number of years]
“shelves in Antarctica are going to do something really horrid”
…. and then, of course, the “trump” card:
“the evidence is overwhelming”
…. with trump also being an English slang word for fart (in warrenlb’s general direction perhaps ??).
The Travesty Trenberth ward would be the most amusing I’m sure. Is he eligible for long-term medical treatment in the UK?:
“it’s a travesty”
“the heat’s hiding in the deep ocean”
“…. except when it’s causing heatwaves in Russia Kevin”
“…. right, except when it’s causing heatwaves in Russia, thanks”
* PS Just kidding Jimbo
What to call a man with a spade in his head -Doug
What to call a man with a number of holes in his head – Warren
BRILLIANT!
I do hope the nails used to attach this theory to its perch were made from sustainable iron.
Re
warrenlb says:
May 25, 2014 at 2:22 pm
==================================
Sad comment and not cogent, entirely irrelevant. (This comment should be banned in my view)
Brad says:
May 25, 2014 at 10:20 am
I always heard it was really a 72-year old virgin?
Nicely done!!!
========================================
Well Brad, I heard that the when deceased Islamist regained after death awareness he was promptly pummeled by the likes of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and many other well know founders of the US. His protest to the angel watching was that he misunderstood, and was being greeted by 72 Virginians.
Good to see it only took the noble Lord 6 years to emulate what I shared with Lord Lawson’s son 6 years ago – using a British satire vehicle to highlight the stupidity of global warming, the IPCC etc.
No publicity for me, because I’m not a Lord……..
Warrenlb = Failure.
You can smell the rot.
Hahaha SAMURAI!
“Why do witches burn?” “They’re made of wood?” “Does wood float?” “Yes!” “What else floats in water…A duck! Therefore if she weighs the same as a duck…she’s made of wood! We shall use my largest scales…”
Sounds like the Global Circulation models.
warrenlb says:
May 25, 2014 at 5:15 pm
Eligibility to sit & vote in the House of Lords doesn’t signify. Dunno why this is such a hard concept to grasp.
Chris Monckton is legally heir to a title, regardless of to what rights that title might entitle him. He’s the eldest son of Major-General Gilbert Monckton, 2nd Viscount Monckton of Brenchley, SMOM (1915–2006), who was eldest son of the 1st Viscount M of B, Walter Turner Monckton, GCVO, KCMG, MC, PC (1891-1965).
IMO it doesn’t matter whether under current law Chris is entitled to sit & vote in the House of Lords. He has legally inherited a valid title in the peerage of the realm of Her Britannic Majesty. Never mind that as far as I’m concerned, all the fatuous royal heads could well be offed, because the nobility & peerage aren’t necessarily connected to the increasingly hard to justify British monarchy.
This thread is in danger of becoming a tribute to the genius of MP.
sabretruthtiger says:
May 25, 2014 at 11:46 pm
Hahaha SAMURAI!
“Why do witches burn?” “They’re made of wood?” “Does wood float?” “Yes!” “What else floats in water…A duck! Therefore if she weighs the same as a duck…she’s made of wood! We shall use my largest scales…”
Sounds like the Global Circulation models.
=================================
LOL!!
Yes, non sequitur logic and post hoc, ergo proper hoc fallacies are the building blocks of the CAGW hypothesis…
It’s hilarious this silly CAGW hypothesis has lasted as long as it has, although it is starting to crumble bit by bit on an almost a daily basis….
I think you could adapt the cheese sketch as well
This is the Global Warming Shop
I will have some of your drought
Not today sir
How about some increased flooding
Fresh out of that squire……….
I never expected a Monty Python parody……
Lord Monckton of Brenchley, Thank you for this lovely parody!
It’s a sad fact of life that Saul Alinsky’s 12 Rules for Radicals exist and are true. However distasteful they are, we should not hesitate to use them in our defense against those who wrongfully press the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming (whatever they would like it to be called now) cause.
You have done that, by employing Alinsky’s RULE 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” Your parody is perfect!
RoHa says:
May 25, 2014 at 6:46 pm
“First, if you have not seen the Monty Python “dead parrot” sketch in your lifetime,”
Do such people exist?
======================
Kinda hate to admit it, but I used to be one.
WUWT, spreading knowledge far and wide !!
Samurai – Brilliantly done! When I got to:
“Pachauri: What makes you think she is a Denier?
“CAGW grant hound #3: Well, she turned me into a skeptic.”
I nearly fell out of my chair. LOL. So wonderful. Thank you (this is a fun thread). 🙂
warrenlb:
Christopher Monckton states that ” there is no trend in droughts, none in floods, none in hurricanes, none in tornadoes; sea level is barely rising.”
Do you have any real world data (not computer modelled projections), such as links to the Met Office, NOAA, NASA and others to show that Monckton is wrong?
=======================================================================
Golly-gee-wiz!
Thanks for telling us all that we should ignore what he says because you say he’s not what he says he is.
Have you told Michael Mann he’s not a Nobel Laureate yet?
sorry, late to the party with this:
“it’s pining for the fnords!”
[So, across the border, are they pining f’swedes? .mod]
(google it, mr. mod- worth the effort. nobody ever gets my jokes…. )
[Yeah. Bummer when that happens to any of us, ain’t it? 8<) .mod]